Sakhile has spent over ten years writing about love and relationships. He is an expert in interpersonal relationships.
My partner cheated on me.
That's something that no one should have to tell, and yeah it's the absolute worst you can imagine. Your wife, girlfriend, or partner has wronged you in a most inhumane and trust-breaking way.
This is perhaps the most difficult periods in your life, and one big question is staring you down: what do I do now?
1. Do Not Make Hasty Decisions
The most important decision faced by you is whether your relationship is worth to save, but you are probably too overwhelmed by shock and upset to make that decision right now.
Some people cling to whatever they have after being cheated on, others like to kick the woman out of house and never speak to them again. Both are viable options (as are several others, as we'll discuss below), but your first instinct isn't always the best one.
To ensure you're thinking clearly, request somes pace from your partner & start giving yourself time to relax and think. This is your decision, so don't let your girlfriend influence it.
Take a break from that situation and do just few things to clear your mind if at all possible:
Watch a few movies.
Go support your family's team.
Get yourself to the gym.
Get out in nature for a while by fishing or hiking.
Devote some time away from your home with family.
Whatever you can do to help yourself get out of the situation, insist on no communication from your partner for a day, a week, or however long it takes. If necessary, turn off your phone. It is critical that you allow yourself time to calm down and think.
2. Seek advice, but keep in mind that the final decision is yours.
Do you know anyone who has been in this situation before? Go and seek their advice.
Did they persevere or kick the arse out? Do they pray they could go back in time? Even good if your friend may be another guy who can tell you how they got out of this mess. Whether or not your chosen friend and confidant has prior experience in this area, having somebody to talk things through with can help make the decisions and consequences feel real. A little sympathy, if nothing else, goes a long way.
But keep in mind that, just as you don't want your cheating partner to decide this matter for you, you also don't want family and friends to make it for you.
There could be bias against your girlfriend (either "she's always seemed so sweet" or "she was never nice enough for you"). They could also be influenced by how their individual experiences transpired.
Although you would like to learn about their experiences and share their regrets or joy in their decisions, you don't have to follow in their footsteps. Get some comfort and advice, then go back and make your own decisions.
3. Be Honest & Request Honesty in Return
If you do choose to speak with your partner once more, be sure to make it clear that every conversation you begin with them must be brutally honest. Maybe not brutal, since too much detail might ruin something that could have been saved, but complete.
Try to see past the common defenses that will be offered to you and search for the hidden truth. Was this a desperate, lonely person's act, or was it just a careless person who didn't think about whom she was about to hurt?
Getting a whole story helps you move on, regardless of whether this is your final conversation with your partner or the first step toward a new beginning.