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My Worst First Date: Calling out Boys on their Bad Behavior

Unless you married your high school sweetheart, chances are you've had your fair share of bad dates. I certainly have.

First Date Failures


First dates are undeniably awkward, especially now when the majority of people meet online. It's great to be optimistic about meeting someone face to face for the first time, but past experiences probably remind you not to get your hopes up.

But honestly, it's often just having a conversation with a new person. Many of us do this for work or at parties, so how in the name of Aphrodite are guys so bad at this?

Ladies who have dipped their toes into the shallow pool of online dating share their first date stories below.

The Business Bore


Matched with this guy on an app, we chatted and decided to meet up. He seemed normal over text. Met for lunch but all he did was talk about himself and his business ventures the entire time. I was bored but just put my polite face on. At one point he wanted to show me a new property he was investing in, he took my phone, opened my Instagram and followed himself from my profile so I could see the photo (desperate!). This was just your typical annoying date, until he revealed to me that he is convinced he traveled through time. He was dead serious. I'm pretty sure I couldn't hide my reaction. -- Lindsay in Houston

The Tardy Traffic Troll


Showing up late is a big pet peeve of mine. I always map the route earlier in the day and make sure I pad the time. If I show up to a date 30 minutes early, I just wait outside or in my car. The nerve of these guys saying "Running late - traffic" really gets me. How long have you lived in this city? Why did you suggest we meet at 6:00pm? Did you not know that means traveling in rush hour? Do you not know the traffic is terrible in this city? You're an adult. Figure this out by now. -- Alexis in Denver

The Double-booked D-bag


We met for one drink and after 45 minutes he asked the waitress to bring us our separate checks. Then he walked me to my car and kissed me on my lips. He told me he had to go to a second date he had lined up, but that he wished he could stay here with me. Then he told me that relationships are a two-way street and that the ball was in my court now. Yah I didn't do anything with the ball. And I actually always prefer to pay for my own half of a first date because then I don't feel like I need to follow up a lame date with a Thank-You text or an I-Had-A-Great-Time text. -- Deja in Atlanta

The Pooch Putz


He texted me 10 minutes before we were supposed to meet. Said he was running late and had go let his dog out, and told me to go ahead and buy myself a drink. When he finally showed up, he made a huge point of telling me that his dog is his favorite thing in the whole world and is his number one priority over friends or women or anything else. Dude, I love my dog too but that speech was unnecessary. So dumb. Just trying to make me understand my place before we even went on a second date. We never went on a second date. -- Katie in Sacramento

The Mansplaining Master


He told me he had a Master's degree. What he actually had was a certificate from the Tony Robbins Mastery seminar. He told me he worked in the weight loss industry but he only worked with women because their weight loss required all this extra specialized brain re-set training and counseling. And he told me all single women owned dogs because it was a substitute for a boyfriend. -- Ayla in Pittsburgh

The No-effort Nincompoop


He had a long nose hair hanging down to his lip the whole time. If I spend hours inspecting my face in front of the mirror before a date, please take 30 seconds to assess your nose hair situation. -- Laura in San Antonio

The Co-dependent Creep

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His roommate just *happened to* show up at the same bar and eventually came over to sit with us. The roommate got very tipsy and was asking me ridiculous questions like "Why are you interested in Ryan? Is it because of his muscles? Do you like his muscles?" and "Are you wondering what Ryan has for you in his pants? Aren't you curious?" I was disgusted but also because my date just sat quietly without saying anything or telling his roommate to kick rocks. Two losers for the price of one. -- Maribel in Los Angeles

The Splurge and Split


He invited me to Top Golf for a first date. I ordered one drink and an appetizer. He ordered multiple drinks and lots of food. Every time the game ended, he went ahead and selected that we play again. He kept drinking and renewing our games for 3 hours. Then he split the bill with me. I paid over $100 on a Thursday night for an appetizer and 3 hours of awkward golf ball whacking. -- Annis in Oklahoma City

The Hipster Half-wit


We connected online, and he asked if we could go hiking or something better than drinks for the first date. I declined and said I felt more comfortable in a casual, public place for a first date. He agreed to grab a drink with me. The whole time he kept talking about how cliche and overpriced getting drinks was. Even during happy hour. He kept making a point to inform me how much smarter and more enlightened he was than everyone else and how he's so non-materialistic. He even told me that I looked too high-maintenance. -- Shayna in Seattle

The Eager Egghead


During the first date he kept talking like we were already a couple and telling me about all the places he was going to take me. Way too soon for that, this was our first time meeting! I felt really uncomfortable because I didn't think we had any chemistry in person. At the end of the date, he walked me to my car, and then said he was going to call an uber, and without thinking I asked if he wanted a ride (pretty sure he would say no thanks) but he said yes and then I drove him home. I just dropped him off outside and went home. -- Sasha in Albany

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This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.


dashingscorpio from Chicago on August 25, 2020:

One of the main reasons why so many people have bad or awkward first dates is because they decide to go out with someone too quickly. Essentially they've invested very little time having actual verbal conversations. They swipe right and meet.

They haven't established any real rapport.

It's almost the equivalent of being a salesperson making "cold calls" door to door. If you have not engaged in any flirtatious banter, shared some laughs, or had an in-depth conversation about something you both found interesting then it's almost pointless to go out on a date to invest time and money.

Your screening process should begin (before) saying yes to date.

Odds are if you don't have chemistry (talking) not texting on the phone then you're probably not going to have chemistry in person.

"Pump Your Brakes! How To Stop Having Bad First Dates" is short book which offers several tips regarding (first) dates.

Dating is supposed to be a (fun) sociable activity.

Especially a first date! If either person doesn't have a good time there most likely will (not) be a "second date".

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