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A Wife Is A Gift From God


Dear Jesus: Thank You For Your Gift

When asked to describe what my wife means to me, I am rendered speechless. When I met her my life was functioning like I was whole. It was not apparent to me that I needed anything. Sure I was lonely and longed to hold someone and physically express love to someone but those urges would come and go with the day. God had me in His hand and kept me and my needs in check. God and I were "okay" as we were. But God knew something about me that I didn't know. He knew my potential with a godly wife at my side. He knew how much she would do for me and how I needed her to fulfill a purpose in my life that included her that I, as yet, did not know.

The following poem is written in honor of my lovely wife, Christina. Thank You God for giving her to me.

God your love for me, is very clear

You know my flesh, you know my fear,

You know my body, you know my mind

You know my growth, can fall way behind

So you gave me a gift, unspeakable, real

Emotions so strong, I can't say how I feel,

I open my eyes, at the start of each day

To behold beauty, that with me does stay,

She smiles at me, though knowing my sins

And prays for me, when a new day begins,

She comes alongside, put there by God

She's fully aware, her husband is flawed,

But she loves me to death, I know that 'tis true

And I run out of ways, to say "I love you."

She lends me her spirit, to help focus my thought

She lends me her wisdom, lessons God's taught,

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She gives me her body, so completely, so free

With passion and love, complete ecstasy,

So I love her like Christ, said to love your bride

And cherish that girl, that stays by my side,

I love her and honor her, a gift straight from God

I feel giddy, happy, filled with great awe,

I want you to think, for a moment or two

Just what that woman, really means to you,

How your work for the Lord, would suffer or die

If she didn't help, but stood idly by,

Do you realize your mind, would fold in on itself?

Do you think all that work, is done by an elf?

The meals she cooks, the dishes she does

She does backbreaking work, and it's all because

It's a ministry from God, she's smart enough to know

How God works in a family, whose life's on the go,

Now let's all thank God, for the gift He has given

And serve Him together, a team bound for heaven.

I imagine the first time Adam cast his eyes in the direction of his wife he nearly collapsed as his knees buckled beneath him. He had been into animal husbandry, caring for them and naming them. He had literally studied them and rightfully came to the conclusion that there was not a companion suitable for him.

"Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him." (Gen. 2:19-20)

Can't you just see his jaw drop and his eyes pop? There she is, Eve - his mate, one created just for him. He saw the shape and dimensions and that she was man-kind! I imagine every nuance of Adam's desire was embodied in this one woman. The way she moved was a thing of his dreams. She moved catlike- but better. Majestic like a lioness- but better. The flow of her hair in the wind and the sound of her voice like music to him. God knowing him, knew that he would instantly fall in love with her. Yet God wanting the man to know that love is a decision and just not a hormonal jolt, gave him some objectivity. One moment to think about how she would talk, how he would care for her, and how she could care about him. When he said the Hebrew equivalent to "hello," and talked to her, she had a mind. She was not an empty-headed, know-nothing. God didn't create her with no memory, an empty slate for a mind that Adam would have to fill from his short existence on earth. As he was, she also was, created with God-given knowledge from which to make decisions. She couldn't help but fall head-over-heals for him as well (that's heels on a barefoot not heels as in "high heels").

The symbolism was all-encompassing. God didn't say, "Here is your wife. Put a ring on her finger and make her a promise to always love her." Instead, He literally made them a matched set. He took a rib from the man, a piece of his flesh, and starting from this very significant piece of biology, He built a woman. This was a thinking act. Adam had to think, why a rib? In my heart I believe that his side now had a scar on it and he could feel an absence of his rib. Adam had these things on his mind as he talked to Eve and realized how much a part of him she was. They had knowledge in common implanted from God Himself. They shared a commonality of mind and body. The foregone conclusion is that Adam would love her. And he did.

"And the Lord caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and he brought her to the man. And Adam said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man," (Genesis 2:21-23)

I was just thanking Jesus the other day for the way He knows me so well. He cares about my needs and He cares about my desires. He knows my tastes better than I do and cares about the little things. My wife is one of the best examples of how the Lord supplies not only my needs but also the desires of my heart. She was created just for me. Jesus created Eve for Adam using his omniscience. My wife was so created for me, and by His omniscience just as uniquely. You may think that it is just happenstance, coincidence, that husbands and wives find each other and I would have to disagree with you.

My wife compliments me. Where I am weak or incompetent or unskilled, she excels. For example, I hate numbers and math, and money because of numbers and math. She loves to manipulate numbers and handle finances (and is very good at it). She gives to the Lord willingly out of a loving heart and she always includes me in the money planning.

In every major area where I need assistance, God has given me someone that not only excels in the area I am lacking, but she loves to do it. God also cares about the minor things, the small desires that I could get used to living without, because it is not a necessity, God still loved and understood me enough to give them. Little things like attraction factors and excitement factors that I only realized after I met her how very exciting those things were to me. The way she holds her hands when she eats or the sway of her form as she walks by my side or the way she will fix a strand of hair that is rebelliously in her way.

Husbands, love your wives. They are a gift created just for you. Study her as Adam did his wife. You will see the attributes that God put there with you in mind. Husbands, pray that God grants you insight into the wisdom He used in creating your wife your marriage. And love her forever.

Written for my darling, my precious, precious princess.

My Wonderful Wife.

My Wonderful Wife.


PLEASE READ ON: It's possible that you have not lived a life that contains a lot of thought of God or things spiritual. It's possible that you have wished that you could deepen those things that are foundational in your relationship and are willing to look beyond where you have been to see why your marriage is shallow and lacking meaning. Marriage is made up of two people who have a relationship to God. If you are a man who loves his wife, you need to know you are God's child. Perhaps you have had real problems in your marriage and you need help. God wants to be that help.

Have you realized that you are a sinner and that your sin stands between you and God? "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23)

Have you realized that you need a Savior and that Jesus died for your sins? "For God so loved the world that He gave His only-begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." (John 3:16)

Do you believe that Jesus came to bleed and die for your sins and was buried and rose the third day for you? "For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures; and that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the Scriptures." (1 Corinthians 15:3-4)

You can call on Jesus to save you. "For whosoever shall call upon the Lord shall be saved." (Romans 10:13)

Pray this: Dear Jesus, I know that I am a sinner and I need a Savior. I believe You came to earth to bleed and die to pay for my sins. I believe that You were buried and rose on the third day for me. I ask You to forgive me of my sin and save me. I turn now from my sin to follow You wherever You lead me. Thank You for loving me so much to make me Your child. Amen.


David on December 05, 2019:

I wish I could testify like you people. Am loosing hope of ever getting a wife. I've prayed and prayed but.....

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on April 11, 2017:

Thank you Sharilee for stopping by. I knew I would marry when I was a young child. It always seemed to be the only way of life that was inevitable to me. In that belief, I remember reading all I could get my hands on about relationships, about love and women in general. From that "research" I knew so many facts and theories that my head was full to bursting. It wasn't until I began studying the Scripture as a Christian that I understood how interdependence of marriage partners was supposed to work. I learned how important God was in marriage and how very flawed I am to "do" marriage without God leading and I following. As long as there is sin in my flesh and as long as the devil can resist God and tempt sinners, there will be trials. Bob.

Sharilee Swaity from Canada on April 11, 2017:

Robert, beautifully written to the Lord and to your beautiful wife. I am so happy for you both. It is so true that we don't always know what we need until God gives it to us. Take care!

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on February 17, 2017:

Thank you so much MsDora. We are a good team, she and I, looking out for each other. We have learned a great deal in our lives together, some of it was not so pleasant. But the trials and tribulations are still part of the gift of life. Each day is a gift. Thank you for commenting. It is most appreciated. Bob.

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on February 16, 2017:

Obviously, am not a husband; but I'm glad I read this beautiful tribute to your wife. Please just stay at your post as an exhorter for other men who want to love their wives. God's favor on you and your wife, going forward.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on July 24, 2015:

Thank you blessedp, I am t0uched to hear this blessed you. I will pray for your preparation for the mate that God will give when the time is right. It is hard to wait, to be patient but "he who waits on the Lord will mount up with wings like an eagle." I'm so happy that you feel better about your situation. I waited many years for my bride and am so happy that I did. Much love and blessings to you. Bob.

blessedp on July 24, 2015:

Oh my God! I'm lost for words. I am truly touched. I have been praying that God will send that right person for me. I love God with all my heart but a companion is missing out of my life.

You have encouraged me. It is a privilege and a honour to read your hub. I believe marriage is sacred and God doesn't with hold anything good from those who love and trust Him.

I pray God's blessings over your marriage and do continue to love the gift God has given you (your wife).

Have a blessed day.

Jo_Goldsmith11 on July 22, 2015:

Beautifully written, thank you for the blessing it was to read.

Shared & up! May God always be the Light in your home.

And pray his blessings surround you and your beautiful wife.

((((((((((( hugs ))))))))))))))))))))))))

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on July 02, 2015:

You are so welcome. I appreciate the difficulty of loneliness. I will pray for you and you pray for me to be the best Christian, husband and father I could be. Bob.

BestAnswerEver on July 02, 2015:

To no body, thank you very much for your support. Peace.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on July 01, 2015:

Thank you BestAnswerEver, for commenting and sharing this very personal heartache with us. I'm sorry that you suffer with loneliness. I am aware of how that feels. But your story makes me wonder just where are you looking for a good woman and only finding one that "can't accept you" or are "high maintenance?" Are you aware that you also must prepare yourself for marriage and have faith that it will happen? I wonder if you are preparing yourself for this great gift from God.

If you are a man who serves God and attends Church, I would say that in that family of believers or as a result of fellowshipping with that family, you will be led to a woman who is given of God to you. Many people fail to look for a woman in church but cruise the dating sites and perhaps look around hotspots for women that are also needing company.

If you wish a "good woman" I also wonder what you mean by "good woman?" If you mean one that accepts you for you, it's not as easy as it seems it would be.

If you mean a woman that serves the Lord and knows how to be a wife to you and love you as her husband, you have to make sure you are ready to lead a woman of such caliber. She will need you to care about God and care to about providing for her. She will need you to have a good attitude and be responsible as a husband. She will need you to be spiritually strong. These things you can address in yourself as you wait for God to bring your mate into your life's circle.

You will find (as you mentioned) that much change has happened in our society as we fast approach the end. Women have lost what it means to be a wife and men have lost what it means to be a husband. Certainly a woman who is "high maintenance" and cares only for money has wrong priorities. Money and a job is a consideration but should not be the only one and sometimes God brings two people together at a time of poverty but you still need to be ready.

I certainly believe that some people are destined to be alone because for them it is a blessing, but in your case, I don't believe that to be true, mainly because you have no peace about being single.

I would ask if you are a Christian and know Jesus as Savior? If you look to God and are talking to Him, it will help make you feel complete in Jesus during the time you are alone.

All I can say is to prepare yourself by getting as close to God as possible, have faith that God cares for you. Make sure you are His child and He is your Savior.

There is much you can do while you are waiting for God's perfect timing in your life, to get ready for your mate:

1. You must talk to God and then when you speak of this need in your life you have to be attentive to an answer from Him. Approach God with a heart to not only TELL Him what you want, but also be of a spirit to hear what He will say. To do that you will have to read your Bible because God will make verses pop out at you to speak to your heart and to make sure you have certain things in place that the woman He has for you needs in her life, spiritual necessities in your home that will help make her feel secure in the kind of man you are.

2. You can evaluate what you have to offer a woman (financial and otherwise). Your spiritual maturity will be most important to a "good" woman. She will need to know you care about God and have standards set by God and are being led of God. If a woman cares not for these things I can predict trouble.

3. You can evaluate your lifestyle and make sure that your life and habits will be a strength and a security to a God-loving woman. Sometimes bachelors will develop habits from living alone that need to stopped and others have things in their lives that need to be adjusted for two.

As you grow closer to God and have faith, preparing and waiting, I believe God will lead you where you need to go. Don't give up. Try not to be discouraged. It was God that brought Eve to Adam when the time was right. Remember Adam was alone for a good while and worked on his home. He looked for a mate and found none for him but then God did a miracle and brought Eve to him and he had his mate for life. I hope this helped. Bob.

BestAnswerEver on June 30, 2015:

Well if a wife is such a gift from God then where is my gift today since it is very hard as it is trying to meet a Good woman today for many of us Good men still waiting as i speak, and with so many women nowadays that are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, career minded, certainly speaks for itself as to why there are many of us Good men still hoping to find a Good woman that can Accept us for who we are since many of them are so very money hungry today. When you compare the women of today to the women of years ago, what a difference. Most of the good old fashioned women years ago certainly made a wonderful wife which many of them were Raised by good parents to find a nice man to settle down and have a family which today many women are Raised very poorly by their parents, and years ago many men and women really had to Struggle to make ends meat which there was No such thing as a high maintenance woman either. That is why our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were so Blessed by God to meet one another since it was certainly so much Easier for them finding love in those days which many of them are still together now. I wish that i could've been born much earlier which by now i would've been married with a wife and a family since i am all alone now which it is Not my fault at all. It is very sad how women have Changed for the worst over the years, and i am sure that many other men will agree with me as well. God should've made a good woman for me, and he is certainly punishing me the way that i look at it since finding a good woman is very Difficult for many of us. Since many others have been very Blessed by God to have a wife and family, then many of us should've been Blessed with that Gift as well since many of us men are no different than the ones that have that.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on March 01, 2015:

It was a realization only after I had made so many mistakes in my young life. I has become a Homer Simpson and made a groove in the couch cushion while my wife ran herself ragged. I made a commitment after I realized my mistake that I would never do that again and I changed into what I believe I should have been all along. Thank you Hannah, for reading and blessing my heart tonight. Bob.

Hannah David Cini from Nottingham on March 01, 2015:

I love this. So beautiful! So many couples grumble and take each other for granted, it is lovely to see your appreciation and reverence for Gods gift to you.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on January 07, 2015:

Wow, Keep Smiling, I understand how you must feel.

If we were looking at all this through God's eyes, what would we see? He sees the heart motivation. Being that you were so much younger when he was doing right, I imagine you were easily impressed and impressionable. He did all the things you were taught was right but I'm not sure he really felt down deep that all that was right, or he would not have continued to move more and more away from God.

I do agree that if anyone was going to have an affect on him it would have been you. But it seems as if he is not responding to you being there. If you aren't careful you will allow him to pull you away from Jesus too. I would tread very carefully and prayerfully from this point on. Pray without ceasing. God will take care of you and bring you to where you need to be. If this young man is God's pick for you and the rest of your life, God will take care of all the details to bring him to you and you to him.

Now the Bible model for young people trying to decide if they are going to be together forever is courting, not dating. But this young man is doing nothing to tell you he is in any way walking with the Lord so you can walk with him as he follows Christ.

I really caution you to be careful. You are very vulnerable now. You had been away from God for a while and it is possible for you to go that way again, but if it happens again it may be very much worse for you.

A virtuous woman's love is so valuable to a man that is spiritually mature enough to understand that he needs it.

You will be fine as long as you keep close to God and follow Him in all you do. Just remember you will not be able to effect someone for good that does not wish to change. I will be praying for you. Bob.

KeepSmiling on January 07, 2015:

Thank you for the words of encouragement through your post. Due to my realtionship problems I started to question myself. I'm almost 23 and has been in a relationship with my h.s. Sweetheart for the past two years. When we dated in school, his spiritual relationship with God is what drawn me to him. I didn't grow up in church but my parents instilled in me to always put God first, taught me how to carry myself as a young lady, love myself ect. Basically I have been blessed to have such loving and devoted parents and it shows through me. My then boyfriend however grew up in the church and had such a genuine heart. I mean he had his priorities together at such a young age. Teaching in church, good grades in school, had his own business, and working a full time job. He had such a drive to excell in life and you can see God working. I too share that same drive and had a much stronger spiritual connection with God I feel then. We were friends for so long at first and eventually dated after he asked my father for permission senior yr. He would ask me question on what I wanted in the future, out of an relationship, use to talk about spiritual topics a lot. of course it was cut short because I went off to college out of state. He broke up with me because he wanted me to enjoy life and be happy. This was before I made my decision to go out of state which was five mths later. It hurt but I respected him for that. He showed so much maturity and potential that deep inside I knew that wouldn't be the last time I would see him. Over the next two years we kept in contact but bare minimal like a conversation once a yr over Facebook. During that time I had to transfer back home after a semester out of state because of financial problems. Not being able to afford school and owed another, no school would take me. But God made a way and I went to a university 2hrs away from my home an it was the same one his older sister attended. I kept in touch with his mother. She was encouraging. But I never asked anything about him out of respect. During this time, I emotionally abusive relationship with someone that used and hurt me terribly. he was also my first.. This is my sophomore yr in college. I hated myself and I felt I turned my back on God when I did that. I thought he was what's left for me that the one I wanted that respected me wasn't coming back. He reached out to me when I broke it off with person and I was shocked! I was in a bad state of mind and ended up pushing him away not by words but I just stopped talking to him. I couldn't accept what I have done. the fact that I let someone take advantage from me, that I have gave so much, I was truly disgusted with myself. I thought the one I wanted, my h.s. Sweetheart, deserved better because I was tainted... I know that is stupid to think that. And that was the lowest I been. I didn't want to be a burden on him and he look at me different because I was not the same person in my eyes that he knew back then. But of course God is always at work and after a couple months I started to come to terms with it and prayed to God to guide me. If he is in your will for me to have please help me be ready. God also blessed me with my education. I transferred again and now can afford school getting my prerequisite for nursing and the school is walking distance from my home. I love it! He has also blessed me with a job. The same job I had when I was in h.s. God also put him back into my life and it was right after he was in a bad relationship. I was understanding and let him know that I would be willing to wait and be patient. However we ended up in a relationship 3 wks after. The first I heard his voice over the phone after two yrs.. MY GOODNESS! It felt like he never left, I melted! When we saw eachother again it was just as amazing.. Lord knows I never felt those feelings before! I couldn't breathe and me knees felt like they were giving out! I know you said love is a choice, well this was a choice I completely fell into and so did he. But over the years being apart he also lost his way. He wasn't close to God like he was, he had no drive or ambition, he separated from his family. His friends became a big part of his life. And unfortunately these friends overtime only proved to be selfish, envious, undependable, no ambition, miserable and God was the furthest from there mind. They constantly use him and he constantly goes back to that. They live with their mother and allowed him to stay.. He has been there for four yrs on and off. They take his money, they do a lot that true friends wouldn't do. They have also showed jealousy with our relationship. They don't want me in his life even though I have been true, loving and devoted, supportive whatever he needed to help his dreams come true, taking care of him when he was sick. When I decide to get into a relationship I treat it as a marriage.. Maybe I shouldn't. I feel committed to the person and I give it my all. I treated the relationship with respect. I didn't give in to his friends stupid passes or their lies they would tell. I tried to get along with them and when that backfired, I gave them space. I'm not possessive and understood he has others in his life as well, meaning family and friends. But I'm at my breaking point. He constantly puts his friends over me. I always have to prove or explain myself after I have given no reason for him never to trust me unlike them. He constantly blames me for what they do wrong, is easily influenced, he broke up with me on multiple occasions and then beg for me back, lies then after months tells me the truth (which I already knew), doesn't take my advice when I told him how his friends are being so disrespectful. I also had to deal with all the exes of his coming out of the wood work to break us up. And some are mid 20s. Grown women acting like children with no dignity or respect for themselves even though I have gave them that respect when he was dating them. His life I feel like isn't going anywhere but I guess that's what I had to learn. He has to figure that out, not me. When we meet other couples or older people that lived life they can't help but respect us because of the way I carry myself. God has also blessed him with amazing opportunities to start his own business, great job opportunities to get on his own feet, great friendships but he let that go. I remember seeing a scripture on the 700 club saying "he who has found a wife has found favor in The Lord". You never have to demand respect, it will automatically come if you respect yourself. Everyone outside the negative circle treated him differently in a good way. Men would tell him "you have a good woman, don't let her get away or you will regret it." I would see his face and instead of taking pride in that, he looked annoyed. His face was saying who are you to tell me! He was jealous that they didn't speak highly of him, most of them knew him and about his surroundings. But then of course after they would say that he would cut them off and try to manipulate me into thinking the same. it hurts to know that I've done nothing wrong! And still see so much in him but that person is not there anymore I'm afraid. I wish he was cause it feels like I'm giving up and God wouldn't have brought me right back to him if he wasn't the one. I love him so much that even now it hurts to be away after all of that. I had went through some of my own family problems and he was hardly there for me. His mom turned on me too, as soon as we got together she has resented me because she wants him to stay reliant on her. She is divorced now.. His brother and wife didn't make any easier either. I never been around a person that was surrounded by so much negativity! And he is getting more and more sucked in each time. My mom said its a cycle with him and that I'll be the one to break it when I leave. He's not going to change no time soon. It hurts hearing that cause I don't want to give up! What I want from him is so simple but He would be giving up a lot of his child like behavior. After h.s. He went backwards. He is so consumed in confusion and drama like his friends who are either our age or just

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on September 05, 2014:

Maria, to a saved woman, the word submissive is not an oppressive word. It is just a term that says there will be a deference paid to your spouse. That is not all inclusive either because the Bible also says for couples to be submissive to one another. So it marks a partnership not a subservience. I am happy for you. Have a great night's sleep and we will talk again real soon. Bob.

Maria C. on September 05, 2014:

@Bob, I can't sleep without first saying: thank you for calling me submissive. That was the biggest compliment ever received.

After the girl I used to be, I'm truly honored by it. Long ago my rebellious heart would have been offended by that word, not today. I've worked so painfully long to get there. To be submissive and love with a total surrendered heart. That's who I'm intended to be, a submissive wife to my godly husband. To the one who sees me as a gift from God.

Thank you Thank you :)

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on September 05, 2014:

It seems that you and God have this in hand. I am happy that you are growing and waiting on God. I'm happy that you took our advice and know it came out of love for a sister in Christ. Emotions are so hard sometimes but they are some of what make our lives so fulfilled. I guess I did misinterpret your disappointment. I know that expectations were a danger for me so I passed on my experience.

Maria C. on September 05, 2014:

Think my words were conflicting, indeed. I've been divorced for 6 years and, even as painful as that was, I've been healed from that previous relationship for the past 3.

While going through a divorce I met someone. A someone who took my heart completely. The moment I met him I knew he was my best friend and more. He is the one that has been disappointing my heart for the longest time.

I've tried to move far away from loving him but the Lord has used him to bring me closer to Him. My love for him has giving me the strength to move far away from bad behaviors, including an emotionally abusive relationships.

He is thy love of my heart. My one true love. And I've to sit disappointed and wait for him. That's God's will for my ultimate good. To transform my heart.

I was never disappointed at anyone. Angry, bitter, disobedient, and even plain mean to others. But never disappointed.

In 10 years of marriage, never gave my husband a chance to be disappointed. God has transformed my heart waiting over "perfect moons" with this person. I have been changed so much that I have become disappointed.

While I used to be violently angry at him for never coming close to me, now I'm just disappointed. I used to sit right next to him with a root of bitterness springing up from my heart. I was so angry at him for ignoring me that I became deeply affected by him.

He grieved my heart so deep that my generalized anxiety became more debilitating and apparent with every second I happened to breathe a thought of him (I was diagnosed with anxiety in Jan 09 due to rape. Long story).

The Lord needed to bring my sins to light and bring me back to him. God used this heartache to do so. Every one of those grieving moments waiting for my beloved to stop ignoring transformed my very core.

My heart was pierced by love and God was the only one who seemed to be there.

I've been waiting for my beloved and will continue because true love deserves a chance. Because I truly love him with all my heart. Because I have never loved anyone else ever nearly or remotely in the same universe as my beloved.

He has yet to say a word. Nevertheless, I'm not waiting with bitterness or anger but with true love in my heart.

@Bob, you are mistaken. We surely can have expectations of others. Doesn't your wife ever tells you when you disappointed her? It's the fact she tells you instead of keeping it in her heart that which shows love.

It is not about setting expectations on others but learning to make them accountable and responsible for their choices. How else are we going to love one another if I don't expect you to kiss me but distrust your intentions? I expect your answer now because I have learn to trust you. If you don't I will be hurt but not disappointed.

Bob, God has a hand when we disappoint others. Think of Bathsheb and David, God used David's humanity and sinfulness until the last day. On the last days when David needed to appoint a new king, Bathsheb came to see David (1 Kings 1:15) and as she was making a request for Solomon (1:17-21) and then Nathan the prophet (1:22) walked in. Do I need to say anymore?

God knows our inner beings and knows when we will disappoint our wives and He even knows how to use that for our greater good. Always the wages of sin fall within His reach. All bad and good choices are within His reach.

Once I knew a youthful pastor eager to build up a church. He was passionate and bold, yet humble. He had a vision and the most beautiful heart to help others. I got stroke by the way he spoke about marriage and marrying the right girl.

One day, in my kitchen while doing my dishes, got inspired to write him a note. It was just one of those Holy Spirit inspired moments that you just can't walk away from. So I did. And guess what happened? He never answered my note.

I wasn't hurt or disappointed by it. Sitting at church I kept feeling the pinch from God to get up and talk to him (I even saw myself calling him) but I couldn't utter a sound. I was muted. Then my silence made me angry and I walked away from that church. Walked away angry at myself not disappointed with him.

I used to sit with a bleeding heart silently ever where. And even when aching to say a word I couldn't. I didn't even had sufficient fire to be disappointed when others pained my heart.

@mothersofnations and @Bob, Thank you for taking the time hear me and answer. You guys have beautiful souls. I'm not disappointed with the world or two beautiful brother and sister in Christ the Lord. I'm truly in love and only disappointed with one guy.

I truly love you my beloved. (Just because my heart feels like saying it)

Thank you thank you thank you,

Maria C.

mothersofnations on September 05, 2014:

@Bob, "If you are with this person and have no peace from God about leaving him, you won't be able to go." This is so true. You have made so many valid points in your reply...

@Maria, sometimes we hold on when they Lord is already telling us to let go. We ignore it because our flesh doesn't want it. This is why it's so important to have a relationship with the Lord. Pray and ask Him to speak to you, to show you, to guide you.

Matthew 9:29 Then He touched their eyes, saying, “According to your faith let it be to you.”

If you trust in the Lord completely and believe that He will speak to you if you ask, then He will! If you need confirmation, He'll give you that as well. It's one thing to read the Word of God, but it's another to continuously build a relationship with Him. Your relationship with the Lord is the most important relationship you will ever have. Nurture it as such. All other things will line up for you.

Matthew 6:33 "Seek first the Kingdom of God and all things will be added unto you."

God bless you.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on September 05, 2014:

@ Mothersofnations. I see you have had much pain in your life. I see you waited and you prayed and you laid all of your problems at Jesus' feet. You have become strong in the Lord. I will still pray for you for any unresolved hurts, or situations. I will continue to pray for your strength in the Lord.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on September 05, 2014:

@ Maria, I guess, I too, am a bit confused as well. I had thought at first you were hurt from a past relationship where the person constantly did not act as if he cared and constantly disappointed you.

Then the last statements you wrote sound as if there is an ongoing hurt because the person is in your household and hurting you by disappointing you.

First let me say that there is a continuing use of the terms "disappointing" and "disappointing me" that involves a concept called "expectations." Expectations will crush the life out of a marriage, or friendship, or any interaction between people. Allowing what you expect in the attitude or actions of others to hurt you will eventually destroy any relationship with them and it will destroy you. Whether it be husband, or children, or parents or in-laws, what you expect that they will do will most times differ from what they, in fact, end up doing.

Here is the complicated thing that most people don't understand, If you are with this person and have no peace from God about leaving him, you won't be able to go. I know this from my experience. And no one will understand why you keep staying and (from their viewpoint) getting hurt over and over. So if this is the case you have to take action inside of you to prevent further hurt.

In a marriage, the wife has a right to expect that her husband will not have sex with any other. But that right is built into the marriage covenant put in place by God. It is not YOUR expectation, it is God's. So demanding a person be faithful is not putting your expectations on them.

But I'm afraid that does not apply to feelings about the romantic evening missed. That was your expectation of him and obviously it was not as important to him as it was to you. Many men can not understand such things, other than to know they exist and that others are impacted by them.

The best way to detach yourself from a hurt like expectation is to lay that expectation at the Lord Jesus' feet. You approach it with prayer. Tell the Lord your heart, give Him your hurts, then ask Him to take all expectations away from your mind and heart. Ask Him to allow you to love your husband unconditionally and for Him to show you all the blessings that you are overlooking that are in your life right now, to show you the joy you are missing by being disappointed.

I hope this doesn't sound too callous but it is the only way you will ever be able to wait for him to grow to be the husband you would crave in your heart of hearts. God says he wants us to be "rejoicing in all things." This is not possible if we constantly see the path He sets before us as full of disappointments and empty expectations.

A person who loves love has scenes of fulfillment coursing through their minds all the time. A woman tends to have these views of what a "perfect moment" is than does a man but I am one of those guys who can keep up with a woman in the "perfect love moment" department. Maria, no one can design a mindset for another to live out or even for another to understand all the time. The "perfect moon" under which to love is an example of what I mean. It would seem obvious to you that the moon was a moment forever lost to him but he lives in a mind not yours. His mind is busy dealing with the conceptions and (perhaps) the expectations of what he would want at that moment.

I believe that if you continue to transpose your expectations on to others you will continue to be hurt, correction... "disappointed." I would venture a guess that not only your husband but others have "disappointed" you but they do not mean as much to you as he does, so you don't normally let those incidents dig at you.

God has the ability to take the hurt away from hurtful situations. The only thing I would say for you to keep in mind is the word "disappointment" is forever hooked to the word, "expectations." Expectations all too often lead to heartbreak because we will have things that we expect others to do that they do not do. We then continue to expect it and continue to be hurt with expectations being unfulfilled.

Maria, take all things to the Lord and follow Him. You are trying to do this already. I can tell it by saying you are being submissive and waiting on the Lord. In God's waiting room is the best place to be, only if you are content and trust in the Lord to make happen everything for your good. "Rejoice in all things." You can't rejoice unless you release the hurt and count your blessings. You can't feel the joy if you put a time table on the Lord. I know it can seem long. I waited 20 years for my love to be given to me. And in the meantime, I assumed that the wife I had was supposed to be that love and I prayed and waited, I gave my hurt to god and waited, I counted my blessings that I could see and I waited.

I will continue to pray for you. By the way, I still have things I am waiting for. Occasionally, I have a perfect moment that I see passed by but on the heal of that comes a blessing I can rejoice in. Maybe you could give what I said a try, huh? First, dump all that hurt at Jesus' feet. He already knows but He wants you to open up to Him about them. And then trust and wait until He says to move. Then when He says to do something, obey Him. God bless you Marie. Bob.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on September 05, 2014:

@ my new friend Maria C. I agree. I believe that each person's pain is specially screened for them and to apply one person's pain to another would be too much for the other to handle. I do believe your pain is something only you know and only you can bear through Christ. That being said, I wish to say that the pain, the memory, the sting will subside with time. Forgiveness and time causes wounds to heal and become healed scars. Each scar a testimony to the Love of God who brought you through the pain to serve Him with joy on the other side of it. My story seems huge to me but yours would be too much for me to bear because it was YOUR story. I only wish I had not had any hand in tearing at a wound not yet healed. I had only hoped to bind wounds, to instill hope, to set correct misconception. Please forgive me for putting sting upon heartbreak. Feel free to talk to me anytime if you think I can help mend the pain. I will continue to pray for the strength of your heart and I will make sure my wife too, will pray for this pain to become a part of your testimony of strength. Keep relying on Jesus and you will be alright. Bob.

mothersofnations on September 05, 2014:

Maria C., I apologize because I'm a bit confused. I'm unclear on whether or not you're still in a relationship with this man or suffering with another. Please know that God does not want us to be abused in any kind of way - any kind of way. I don't believe He would tell you to sit there and take it til death. If the Lord is placing it in your heart to move out of that relationship, by all means you do exactly that.

When the Lord initally began to move me out of my previous relationship, I didn't realize what the Lord was doing and so I didn't move when I was supposed to. Because of that, I suffered other things that would have been needless had I obeyed from the beginning. But God will always make a way to give your spirit what it needs to know, and show you how you need to grow.

Again, trust in the Lord's voice. If He says "move" you move. Always depend on the Lord to guide you. He won't ever fail you.

God bless you.

Maria C. on September 05, 2014:

Anger is a green monster that feeds on ugliness. I'm no longer that green monster. God changed my heart. God wants me to be disappointed so I will never ever ever doubt Him ever again.

"Perfect love casts away all fears", including the root of all disappointment: Fear of being hurt. For no other reason than the lack of trusting God.

Have a blessed day,

Maria C.

Maria C. on September 05, 2014:


Have you ever been told by God to be disappointed until your fingers start pruning? Once an angry and bitter heart, I now have confidence that being disappointed to the point of losing hope is exactly needed. There isn't a root of bitterness in my heart but deep disappointment.

God has empower and given me a voice. I no longer sit marinating on uncontrolled anger and bitterness towards my spouse. Not submitting or listening to a word he says just disobeying ever breathe he takes. Purposely and meaningfully only listening to "my selfish little hurt" and then acting out.

I'm listening and following. I'm submitting and respecting. I'm loving and waiting. And not quietly marinating but saying: "you disappointed me to the point of losing hope on you. I trust you and truly love you but I'm deeply disappointed with you. I'm here but I will not enable you to sin anymore by hurting me for no reason."

"I truly love you but I'm disappointed. We had an amazing moon, a blessing on Valentine's, and you purposely ignored it. You are in trouble. I'm disappointed."

Sorry but I can't anymore keep silent. Been hurt too many times. I'm not oppressed and bond by the lies of the wicked one, I've been empowered to make an impact to speak and not to be quietly abused by others. There is no bullying allowed in heaven!

Your words to Bob and myself were beautiful. Surely, when there is something God has asked of us, we move forward no matter what others say or think. That includes being disappointed until God shows otherwise.

The Lord is my heart and all I want to do is give Him a reason to be proud. Give Him a reason to boast by saying: "Well done by loyal and faithful daughter. Well done. You are beautiful in my eyes."

Thank you for taking the time to write such a beautiful and heartfelt answer. Thank you!

Have a nice day,

Maria C.

mothersofnations on September 05, 2014:

Bob, God bless you, I understand the pain you once endured and the Lord is so beautiful in the way He brings us strength and healing and gives us the courage to love once again. My spouse was also a friend first and I was surprised the Lord paired us up as well lol I wanted to but then again I didn't because I didn't want to trust anyone. But the Lord reminds me to always place my trust in Him and not concern myself with things of the world. I prayed hard one particular day and the Lord spoke to both of us and we both knew this relationship is the right thing, God ordained.

The Lord is doing many wonderful works within the both of us. We have grown so much and still growing. I'm grateful because I no longer see life as a trial, but rather as a blessing, all things for our spiritual benefit. I try to see what the Lord wants me to see and I ask Him daily to open my eyes, ears, and heart and I pray the same prayers for my spouse as well. I consistently pray that we will see each other in the spirit and not in the flesh, as the Lord desires from us. I pray for understanding, patience, love, loyalty, forgiveness, grace, communication, unity and so much more.

“The experience also gives me a very unique perspective and not many people understand it.” And even if they never do, the Lord does. You’ve done the right thing because you did what you believe the Lord required of you. You obeyed Him and He has rewarded you with a beautiful marriage. Both of you are truly blessed. Also, now your children see and understand you better and in Jesus’ name they will receive a complete healing as well and the Lord will bring their spirits an understanding and a true peace. God bless all of you and you’re all in my prayers.

mothersofnations on September 05, 2014:

Maria C., I know the hurt of not receiving flowers on a birthday or Valentine's day, or a gift on Christmas, no New Year's kiss, and every other holiday that was "just another day" as he celebrated with others, but not with his immediate family, too many times to count.

It may have hurt me then from time to time to time, as I forgave and forgave and stayed hopeful things would get better. Until the day the Lord told me it was time to move on. The move didn't come until years after suffering the neglect, lack of respect, abuse, thefts, constant lies, and I could go on and on.

Let me also mention that I was about 30-32 weeks pregnant with our third child when I left. And there was a newborn with another woman, as he attempted to hide it and have 2 families. So please know someone does understand first-hand where you have been and what you've gone through. I left everything: job, home, car, belongings - I literally took only what my hands could carry.

I stopped crying years ago, but I stayed angry for quite some time - that's just as unhealthy because it showed I had not really let go, I had not forgiven, and the only one who truly suffered because of that was me. I was able to be there for my children but I had no idea how to be there for myself. It was God that was calling me to Him from the very beginning. I knew somehow the Lord had a greater plan for me and my children.

I do understand that there were things that I had to learn from that relationship, no matter how painful it was to endure. But we never really understand until we let go and allow the Lord to begin to walk us through to where He was trying to take us all along. Then I knew I had a purpose and there was meaning behind all of it. It's in the Lord that I finally began to heal, let go and forgive, for my own spiritual sake, and for my children as well.

You're there, Maria, you're there. The Lord is calling you to be closer to Him and once He does that He begins to reveal our purpose. Give it all to the Lord – even if it takes some time (as it may) it’s ok, keep trying, keep working with the Lord to heal from it all. Stay in prayer as often as possible and continue to pray for complete healing. In time, you will know you are truly healed and you will see what the Lord was doing within you. Let go, mama. Your future is bright – trust in that. This will one day be a thing of the past, where you say “I remember when…” and you see the beauty of where the Lord takes you.

One more thing before I go, I know the fear of not wanting to go through that another time. My heart refuses to take another blow. The Lord has brought me into a relationship and as in every relationship there are highs and lows. One day, I almost wanted to walk out – giving up early lol – trying to save myself before this really had a chance to go anywhere. There are moments when the Lord tells us to move and other moments when He tells us to be still. He has told me to be still. So I trust in the Lord and wait on Him to move for me.

The Lord has opened up my eyes. I know that this relationship will bring things to my spirit that I can only get from being in it – and the Lord is doing the same for him. I’m grateful and I will not fear because I trust in God. Our Lord WILL NOT set you up for failure. He will not lead you somewhere to cause you harm.

Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

God bless you and your son.

Maria C. on September 04, 2014:

Rejection isn't anymore making me bleed but the heart stopping disappointment of despair. Losing hope on someone you love is worse when you are truly disappointed with them.

There is no doubt in my heart that God has great plans for my life. He doesn't give a voice to the mute and then asks to sit quietly. It's just one, 'thy one', that gives me heartaches.

My poor heart can't take another disappointment from 'thy one'. Have you ever forgot to do something nice on Valentine's for your wife? Her birthday? And on and on. Did I mention Valentine's? Again and again.

Imagine the most perfect moon, on the most romantic day, and you dismiss your wife just as Jacob rejected Leah. And she forgives you again and again. Prays for you. Again and again.

How long can she go on with a broken heart? How long can she forget about the perfect moon, a provision from God?

I can't let go of losing a beautiful blessing as that perfect moon on the most romantic day. Can't justify being heartbroken for no reason. Losing the hope of getting flowers from the one my heart loves, when they are suppose to be the ones different. The ones loving you.

With all due respect, you haven't tasted the hurt of no Valentine's or flowers. From the same person, again and again.

Now, along comes your post to remind this broken heart that godly husbands do love their wives and respect them as Jesus loves the church. Not only that but godly wives are a gift from God.

My favorite words from the entire post, ones with full heart: 'My darling, my precious, precious princess'. Those are the most beautiful words ever said to a wife.

Thank you for sharing so much of your story with others.


Maria C.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on September 04, 2014:

@Maria, : ) I had not even noticed you called me hub but I kinda think it could be a great nickname. So feel free to call me "Hub" anytime you wish. Maria, you are so sweet to let me know the depth of blessing Jesus gave to you through my testimony. Hearing things like the timing was perfect to match your need, lets me know just who is in charge of the universe. Sweetie, I know just how much things like this hurt. I know the rejection and the work to try to fix it and the knowledge that you can't. I know the feeling like somebody died and the feeling of failure that oozes out of every pore. Plus you became a "stat" and become part of the terrible rate of marriage/breakup in this country. But despite all that God raised us up. He declared that we were worth another shot to share the life of another. I know you are grateful for that, I know I am. I'll tell you what, I will pray for you and yours and you keep praying for me and mine and we can all talk about this around the Throne Of Grace someday and praise God together. Much love in Christ Bob.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on September 04, 2014:

@Mothersofanations, I appreciate all your comments. I do believe that the trials we suffer will have multiple benefits if we can but just wait for the Lord to move in a situation. I had so many people thinking me mad for not immediately divorcing, telling me that the betrayal was enough for me to know that it was time. I did not know how to tell them that it was something for me to endure and that perhaps there would still be a healing of my marriage. Many people that to me are spiritual giants still think I was wrong. They say that the marriage covenant was broken at the moment of her sexual dalliance. But I reasoned in my spirit that any "that look upon a woman so as to lust after her" was guilty of adultery. I knew I had done that very thing, lusted in my heart. I figured that I was as guilty as she so God was able, should He decide to, to heal my marriage. But then, the impression of the Lord was undeniable. I knew at the moment that the marriage was not able to be fixed. I believe that up to that time it could have been, but there was a change in her that now would prevent it and God said, "Yes, now is the time." I was so surprised that someone from my friends that I had not considered a possible mate to me was now undeniably my soulmate. Yes the pain I endured was worth it. I can look at my children and know they know I did all I could to make things work. It is even more palpable now since their mom has now passed away. They are somehow free to see things a tiny bit more objective and they are slowly coming closer to me for a relationship with dad. The experience also gives me a very unique perspective and not many people understand it. The Lord does bring some in my path that do like You and Maria and a few others. This is very humbling to me. Thank you for being there and for your encouragement. Bob.

Maria on September 03, 2014:

Bob, sorry for calling you Hub. I live in the stone age under a rock. As motherofnations said, you gave a beautiful testimony. Thank you for taking the time to pour out your heart in an answer.

Our God is wonderfully alive. He is not the God of the dead but surely alive. So is His beautiful word.

I just love when I breathe out a prayer and zap there is His answer right in front of my eyes. Sometimes we wait but, Oh God, on those times in which He reveals His love powerfully my heart just melts.

I needed those words last night more than ever. After all the walking I have done with Jesus, I needed to hear just that.

I don't want to set my heart on things from the past, because I'm healed, but on the new things the Lord is doing in my life. Just to say, those with wicked hearts make choices that us children of the light can't stand. Once we invite the Holy Spirit in our hearts he changes us and we no longer can stomach the darkness.

These past 5 years I have learned to walk deeper with God. He has my ears, eyes, mind, and, surely, my strength. I have come to a stand still just waiting to hear a word from Him. I talk and listen closer to God. Hence why and how I found your post.

We tend to forget when we are in the midst of a trial that God works alike in the hearts of all His creation, male and female. Thank you for using the talent God gave you to show us His glory and love for us.

God bless your family. I'll be praying for you guys.

And thank you motherofnations for adding value with your answer.


Maria C.

mothersofnations on September 03, 2014:

NoBody (Bob - indeed a somebody :) Such a beautiful testimony in your comments to Maria. It's true that we should not move until the Lord tells us to. Sometimes we miss the signs or choose to ignore them, but when our ears, eyes and heart are open to God as they should be, we clearly know what to do and when. The world's opinions do not matter - what matters is the Lord's. His approval is the only approval we need.

I'm glad you have found true peace and love in your life. Maybe those were the things you had to endure in order to be able to help others. The Lord will always turn the bad for our favor. You just have to be open to Him to know and to see. God bless you.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on September 03, 2014:

It is said that the Spirit bears witness between believers and gives them a sense of closeness and empathy. I know exactly your history because much of it was mine as well.

I got married early in life with an expectation to be married for the rest of my years with this same woman. Within the year, I was introduced to Jesus and invited Him into my life. Immediately, my marriage began breaking apart.

It was apparent to me that my wife was playing a game with religion and according to her I was "so heavenly-minded I was no earthly good." I began to grow in the Lord and to work on loving my wife better, even though she steadily grew more and more away from me, telling me that it was because since my salvation experience, I "put God before [her]." I tried to tell her that I loved her more than I ever had before because of my relationship with God but she kept challenging me to make decisions where the choice was, "God or Me (her)."

I patiently tried to hang on to my marriage that had by this time yielded two children. People would ask me why I waited so long to divorce her and my only answer was that God had not given me permission to do that and I found no peace in that answer at this time.

I had been forced into a separation by her. I kept myself from involvement with anyone else except for a few social occasions and a few female friends over the years, I kept waiting for God to fix my marriage. I would keep replying to those saying I needed to divorce her that God had not given me a peace about it yet. They all would shake their heads at me because my wife had become pregnant with another man's baby and somehow I was able to forgive that as well.

But when her answer to her "accidental" pregnancy was to make an appointment to abort it, I was devastated. I pleaded with her to keep it. I would raise the child as my own, only please don't kill it. She seemed to love the fact that the thought of her killing her illegitimate unborn child horrified me. I tried to get a pastor friend of ours to talk to her but she was unbending and ended that poor innocent child's life.

Something happened after that and when I prayed about it, the Lord finally gave me a peace about divorcing her. It was in the beginning of the 20th year married to her that I was introduced to the love of my life. I had no idea that was to be the case but God did let me meet her and to have a very good friend relationship with her for about a year or more. I married her shortly after my divorce and everything changed. All of a sudden my life felt a freedom to grow and flourish.

The funny part about all this pain in my life up until then is that it gave me a sense of how to love a woman unconditionally and care for her in a way that I never would have had, had I not suffered and hurt for so long. God is good and to be praised. He indeed put the words in this article for me and all that pain was worth it to have this life with my current wife. We are now almost 16 years into our marriage and love is truly beautiful.

Thank you Maria, for your comment and the encouragement you gave me. You were a blessing to read today, God bless, Bob.

Maria on September 02, 2014:

It's rare to encounter a godly husband's perspective so emotionally well written. Just a few minutes ago I prayed to God to speak to the heart of the love of my life. The one guy who keeps breaking and disappointing my heart for the past five years. Disheartened, started googling "a good wife is a gift from God" (from Proverbs) only to find your blog. I've been divorced for over 5 years (almost 6) and before my ex - husband gave up on me and my son, I prayed. While eight months pregnant (when he started to quit on us), I cried out to God to send me a husband that appreciated the value of a good wife. However, just like you said so brilliantly, God must make you first aware of your need.

He wasn't the godly husband my heart needed. An atheist who took me away from God with no real appreciation for family values or my love. I desperately needed the Lord back in my life. The love of my life walked in my life before my ex left and he showed me better. He pointed to Jesus when I was grieving and ever of his rejections draws me closer to he Lord.

Thank Lord for giving Your children amazing talents so they can better nurse our hearts when in need. Thank for inspiring Hub's heart with such an amazing piece. Bless his pen so he can continue bringing glory to Your name. In Jesus name, Amen.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on August 14, 2014:

God bless you mothersofnations, I appreciate you. The kindness of our Lord and Savior is beyond our reasoning. The depth of His love knows no bounds. He has blessed me with so much. I deserve no such blessing but God blesses me so I will serve Him and love her with all the strength in me. Love you for the comment. Bob.

mothersofnations on August 14, 2014:

So beautiful!

"You will see her attributes that God put there with you in mind."

So very true in a God-ordained relationship - completion.

God bless you both!


Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on May 23, 2014:

Marriage is really a mystery to me Jason. It is a mystery because it pictures God's love for me. I know my past and I know it may not have included murder and bank robbery but next to God I am but dung. And He loves me, died for me, And declares me to be His Bride. This is a whole different view than people normally speak of when they refer to marriage. In this light of the intimate partner of God makes the intimate partner in my marriage a sacred thing. Each time I interact with her I have to think, am I being a proper reflection of Christ and the church. Each time I am intimate with her I think of the intimacy I have with Christ living in my heart and saying He, "will never leave me or forsake me." I am happy that you were blessed with this study and thank you so much for reading. Bob.

Jason R. Manning from Sacramento, California on May 22, 2014:

What a beautiful tribute to your wife and in turn God. I have a very different story of God’s grace and how my wife was presented to me. I wish there were so many more stories like yours celebrated in the mainstream to give back positive influence on this institution. I suppose one hub at a time will have to do. Thank you for sharing your story. Cheers.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on April 06, 2014:

Dear Lola Pratiw, I am happy you found a way to repair your marriage and I am sorry you went through so much pain. Thank God you got the help you needed. Bob.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on November 18, 2013:

We met at church. She was there searching for answers as to why her dad had died and how she could grow past the sorrow in her heart. I had to leave several times because the sight of her took my breath away. I never would have even spoken to her if the pastor had not introduced us.

Jonathan on November 16, 2013:

This is awesome. I pray all the time God will bless me with a lady I could describe like this. How did you guys meet??

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on July 30, 2013:

You are welcome to follow me on Facebook or to friend request if you would like to chat from time to time. Maybe something in the conversation would lend you strength. Christian love, Bob.

Ben on July 30, 2013:

thanks very much for your support again, and God bless you.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on July 30, 2013:

I sympathize with you Ben. I identify with you as well. I was married to a woman for 20 years. It was rarely happy. I was determined that I would never divorce. I believe she married me because her family wanted her out of the house for various reasons that I learned of later. We were both of age and both young with all the outer appearance of a happy couple. I was determined to do whatever it took, to be whatever I needed to be to make her happy. But like I said, love is a decision and a covenant. So I hung in there as I faced more and more things that hurt me. I hung in there and around the 16 year she began to ask me to go. She went to a shrink and had him to tell me that I was the reason she was unstable. Of course, she and the Dr. were friends and it was contrived. I did not believe it was me but the Dr. was very convincing. I left to see my own doctor and see if there was really anything in me that could cause my wife to be mentally unstable. I expected to just "give her some room" without my presence for a few weeks and then come back and try again to make it together. But as soon as I moved enough of my stuff to spend a few weeks away she filed for abandonment and I could not come back. I was devastated. She began dating and I waited until the twentieth year to file for divorce because it was not until then that I had a peace from God that it was the thing to do.

After that marriage ended, I really thought I would never get married again though I am a man like you that needs a wife to take care of and who would be there to care for me. Who was I going to dream with and help their dreams come true? Where would I go to have my sexual needs fulfilled? I was not stupid enough to try to have sex with just anyone. I began to do the waiting game. I had already waited from the 16th year of my marriage until it broke up and now it was the 20 year and I was divorced. I threw my life and my desires into God's hands. Every time I saw something that got my desires flowing I would run to God's side. I must have spoken to God every day that I felt I needed a wife to stand with me or these desires would kill me. I would not have made it if it were not for God in my life. I had been a Born-again Christian since 1978 but I didn't know how to handle this alone. (But I wasn't alone, God was there). I went to bed crying every night. The experience I had with marriage was as if I had not been married at all. The Lord brought a woman into my life and we were married. It was a long wait but it was worth it. I would have wished she was the only woman I ever had, but unfortunately she was not. I began to see that the first marriage was actually preparing me to be a better husband for the second. I am still convinced that had the first wife been closer to God, that God could have done a miracle with us, but she was not willing. I began to realize the difference between what I had lived and the new experience I had with my current wife. She completes me. She began to make a place in her life and thinking for me. She became my soul-mate. I had never experienced that with the first marriage. I say all this to you because when you are in God's waiting room, He is preparing you for bigger and better plans. Every experience you had to live through God can use to make you a better man and a better husband for a soulmate that He will bring to you.

If you desire a woman that means God is preparing a woman for you. If you stop desiring a woman in your life, than God is saying that He has decided to take you on a different path in your life. You do desire a woman so you have a job to do... You must prepare for her. You must get close to God so you will not miss the promptings of the Holy Spirit to guide you to her. As you have said before it is hard to imagine two people made for each other. That is because it is God that shows us the way to that woman and if you are not a child of God, have never asked Him to save you and come into your life you are just randomly waiting for luck and chance and cannot listen to what God is telling you. You have to talk to Him and then listen for an answer. You have to get used to "hearing" that still small voice, instead of listening to the loud voice in your head saying evil things about you and that you are not good enough to have a wife. That is the devil talking to you. You are just as good as anyone else but you have to be a child of God for God to be able to perform that miracle in your life. I will continue to pray for you and that you will come to Him in a way that He can help you in this. I won't forget to pray for you, I promise.

Ben on July 29, 2013:

it really hurts me very much to see that so many men and women were certainly very blessed by God to have met one another and have a family that i would have wanted as well, and i am no different than they are since i didn't do anything wrong. was it meant for certain men and women to have a love life? if a wife is a gift from God, i most certainly would love to find the right woman too which would be like i have won the lottery. i hate so much to be alone, and it was just my luck that i was married to the wrong woman at the time that cheated on me. i even thought that i had found the love of my life hoping to have a family as well, but that never happened. i am a very good down to earth straight man that is just hoping to have my life back again. loneliness is a very sad thing for many of us, especially around the holidays which makes it even worse. since God created men and women, it is wonderful to have a woman for many of us that are still looking.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on July 21, 2013:

Thank you for your contribution, Reality Talk. I think you are right. There is a compatibility factor in every marriage. But in some people it is not enough. People err. Forgiveness must take place. Things become hard. Some growth in each separates them. Then it is that commitment to the decision to love no matter what that saves the relationship. It is respect for the covenant of marriage that makes the difference. Each person approaches God in a different way and I cannot begin to speak for each and every person. I just know what the Bible says and can relay that information. It has never let me down and I believe never will. Thank you again. Bob.

RealityTalk from Planet Earth on July 21, 2013:

Ben, I don't believe there is someone for everyone. I believe those of us who have found the perfect person are lucky and you are right, we should be thankful. I don't know what your specific situation is all about. If you were married and divorced. If you are married and unhappy. If you have never married. And, I cannot pretend to have the answer to make you happy, if in fact you are not happy.

But, I would like to offer this advice. I was married and divorced once. I dated a lot of women before my first marriage and after my first marriage; actually - during my first marriage as well. I can blame my first wife for my cheating, but I could have been honest about how our problems were affecting me and separated before cheating. Eventually, I met my current wife. I have been happily married to her for over twenty years now. I have never cheated on her or even considered it. The reason I believe? Because I married a woman who I believed to be my best friend. I did not marry her because we clicked sexually. I did not marry her because she looked like a model. I had no idea what she looked like from the neck down the first two or three dates. That is because I married her for what she said, and how she listened and what was in her head. That worked for me. It may work for you and others. Looks change over time, but the inside of someones heart and thoughts last forever. Sex is temporary. Friends are forever.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on July 21, 2013:

I would not say God forgot about you. You may be in the waiting room or perhaps God knew that marriage was not for you right now. All the pain you have lived through will work to your good if you are in Christ Jesus. I had much pain in my first marriage. I was young as was she. I never did believe in divorce but the Lord gave me a peace about it after 18 years of marriage. I had to do it for all the Biblical reasons. When God gave me a second chance, of course I was skeptical because I had no idea how I contributed to the last one's failure. It was rocky in our household for the first three years of our marriage but God was in our home and He worked out the kinks. He finally gave me the kind of marriage that I had waited and worked for, for so long. Thank you Ben for your comment. Please don't be angry or bitter with the Lord. He loves you and there will be good things in your future. Bob.

Ben on July 21, 2013:

for the men and women that were very blessed by God to have met one another and have a family, you should be very thankful for what you have because many of us would have wanted the same thing since God did forget about us.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on July 12, 2013:

The thing about God, JC, He never leaves us or forsakes us. He knows who we best should be with and He guides us to them. Even when we don't listen and end up marrying someone that God did not intend us to marry, we cannot mess up God's plan. He is able to even make someone different into the "right" one. I know of many that that is the case. I am very glad for you to be with a woman that God has made your soul mate. He is so good to us. Many blessings and thank you for reading and commenting. Bob.

jcYehweh on July 11, 2013:

This is a nice Hub about God & wives. I agree with you that my wife is a gift from God. She is my everything & I try to be her everything. Out of all the women on this Earth, I cannot think of anyone I would rather be with or anyone I would be happier to be with. I can only believe, as you do, that God knew she was the right one for me and God made sure we came together.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on February 25, 2013:

Sir the problem you have is foretold in Scripture. Sin will "grow worse and worse" as the end grows near. I will say again that your answer is Jesus. He will help you and guide you. The problem is that you need a woman that loves God and is God's child. When you have that you will find that God is making her into that kind of woman you seek, the loving faithful, respectful, trustworthy type. But if you search for a woman without using the spiritual criteria, and just for a woman that you may have one or two good conversations with, you take the chance that all will go down in failure. God is the one that knows hearts. God is the one that knows who it is that you desire and need for your happiness. All men and women are sinners sir and they all fail. It is God that makes the difference. A marriage like you want has three in it The Husband, The Wife, and GOD. Your aunt and uncle are probably much closer to God than you know. Years ago, society was much closer to traditional values than today. But the years since has yielded a whole new generation of people who throw God aside and feel that He is not important. They think they can reason their way through without Him. Spiritual things are for nuns or priests but not for the average person. Look at the writings of famous statesmen of the past and other people of past generations. You will see that God was a very real part of their lives. I would be very surprised if your aunt and uncle did not have a deep abiding respect and love of God. Ask them of their secret and ask them how important God is to them. You may be surprised. Even if they were not church people, my hunch is that they had God in their minds and lived by His solid principles.

SoTrue on February 25, 2013:

to no body, and you certainly know how bad i feel. i seem to meet so many loser women in my life, instead of meeting a real good one. and when i was married at the time, i was very faithful, very loving and caring, very committed to her, and very content with my life. now to go out all over again is the hardest thing for me, since the women of today are nothing like the real good women that most of them were back then. i can't believe that there are so many women now that have such a very serious attitude problem, and many of them today do really think that they are all that too. these are the type of women that are such losers, and still will go out to date the bad boy type of men. my aunt and uncle are starting their 65th year together, and that just shows us how women were certainly much different back then. women were much more committed to their men at the time, and many men were just as committed to their wife too. and when i do try to start a conversation with the woman that i would like to meet, she will threaten to call the police on me. now that is what i mean when i say that i do meet the wrong women today, and it would be really nice to meet one that would be very educated for a change. my aunt and uncle met in school when they were very young, and it certainly was meant to be for them. i wish that i had been born much sooner, then i could have certainly avoided this mess today. but now i will go out and hope that i will be at the right place at the right time, to hopefully meet a good one for me this time around. thank you very much for your support. PEACE.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on February 25, 2013:

I'm sorry So True that you are in such pain. I know that pain since I, myself, have gone through it. The feelings of rejection and failure just increase the heaviness of the grief of loss. I understand also what you say about the 50's and 60's. People in generations past had a bit more respect for the institution of marriage. People were not as far from God as they are now. Make no mistake So True, it is people's distance from God that makes these things so difficult for people today to do what their forebears once did. But in those previous generations and earlier men treated their women as their possessions and still played around on the side. Women had no one to which they could complain. Remember the song "Stand By Your Man" by Tammy Wynette? The whole point of that song is that the woman was faithful despite the rottenness of her man. This is not right nor is it fair. God has a better way. He says that if you submit yourself to Him (God) He "will give you the desires of your heart." He also says that the Spirit will inspire your desires to want things of God. God will take a man that has humbled himself to God and begin to work a miracle in his life. Have you done this? Have you accepted Christ into your heart? If you have and are in God's waiting room, you must know that God will work that miracle in His own time. If you have not accepted Christ, you are on your own. Think of the chances that two individuals that are supposed to be together and are ideal for each other would meet in this world of 4 billion people. Without God the chances are astronomical that you will even find each other. But with God you have people suited and prepared for each other. They are both changing so that their lives will interconnect because God is the one changing them. I would suggest that your first step is examine how close to God you are and try to get even closer. I suggest that if you have received Christ that you begin to trust Him and to believe He is capable of fulfilling that dream. But it all begins with God and how much you trust Him. That's what happened to me. I humbled myself to God and He began to change me. I trusted God to do what was right in my life and to bring someone into it when the time was right. I was prepared to be alone if He so chose. But God had someone planned for me and we have had 14 wonderful years together. I know that you want me to say something easier than trust and wait, but the truth is that is exactly what you must do. Pray that prayer of salvation first and after that do not stop praying, talking to God about your heart and really begin to trust Him. He loves you even more that you love you. His love is eternal and deep. He came to earth and died for you. He watched as His blood dripped slowly onto that rocky ground beneath as His own mama watched in horror and He did that for you. My prayer for you So True is that you can see clearly through the pain that you suffer and learn to lean and trust. God is faithful. God Bless, Bob.

SoTrue on February 24, 2013:

a wife is a wonderful gift to have from GOD, and if he could only bless us lonely men out there that are really looking for a love life again. i myself had been married at one time, and now alone and single again is certainly no fun at all. since GOD did create men and women, it is very obvious that i certainly do want to have a life to share with another woman again. why would i want to live my life alone?, certainly not. when i see other very lucky couples together, it hurts me very much. i feel that GOD forgot about me, and i do not know why. i do not like going out all the time by myself, since most of my friends are very lucky to be settled down with their own life. so you can see how much this bothers me, and i seem to meet the women that are so very nasty to me. i wish we had women like June Cleaver and Donna Reed today, and many women years ago were very much the way that they were acting on T V. the women of the fifties and sixties certainly made a much better wife, and they were very committed to their husbands too.

Adrian on February 21, 2013:

Back Together…Effortlessly…

I am happy to report that my Ex and I are now happily back together. I have to say it was effortlessly done! I thank for all of his great work


Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on January 19, 2013:

I believe that you may be confusing the tendency of men to lust, with pure sexual love that is gifted from God. Lust is the flesh's idea of a fix. God gifted man with a sexual drive but He also expected man to make an effort to control it by walking with God and focusing on spiritual things. When man lives in the flesh and doesn't walk with God that pure sex drive that is blessed in marriage becomes distorted and the man has no power to ignore it. And it also works that way with women. Love and sex is a blessing at the hands of an almighty God but only when an individual walks with God and is empowered to treat sex in the proper way. Don't give up on love sir, but cling to the Lord and wait on Him. He will grant you the desires of your heart as you follow Him. Oh by the way just because you get that woman of your dreams, it does not mean that you are immune to seeing the next door neighbor. Temptation is everywhere. But noticing and looking to lust are two different things. Just thank God for His creation and go on. When you turn back to look again or dwell on what is not yours, is when you are lusting and sinning. Everyone notices nice things but not everyone then pictures those things in their possession or being used by them. I battle all the time with my eyes and mind to behave themselves. It is hardest when I know I am not closely walking with God. I have other articles on this topic if you are interested. Thank you for commenting Never Enough.

never enough on January 18, 2013:

yep can make men drool and stop traffic. How Adam must have felt when he saw eve. All catlike and such. Thank god for the objectivity to love. To bad man loses all objectivity when he see"s someone new. and drools all over himself before crashing his car and killing his wife in the process. That's the part that hurts. How can love be gone so fast? Because his neighbors wife caught his eye. Long gone are the days of having sacred things to give of yourself to your spouse. They can get that online. Did god make men to look at his daughters that way? Naw! Why didn't Adam think that's an odd looking human? And then as he got to know her mind and spirit became week in the knees? And then felt the desire to be closer to her? God did not create man to worship the flesh of love it. This body will return to the dust. Then what? I'll never be love din this body. It will never be enough.

never enough on January 18, 2013:

Wow! I I had nearly lost hope that men are capable of love. Yet I'm still skeptical because of the porn thing. They say all men look at porn and I've found that to be the case. I've been hurt so many times beginning when I was very small. I've seen the way that porn destroys love. I have all my heart and soul to give to a man. Yet men only are interested in me because I remind them of some porn fantasy. They assume they will be getting the real thing. But are blind to seeing me at all. I will never be enough. Lust always wants what it cant have. I have given up hope pretty much. I pray and yet I don't know what it even realistic to pray for any more. I just cant understand how any man could love any woman when his mind is consumed with the thoughts of the other women he desires so badly? Desires sexually no less? Please help me to understand how you could feel those things for your wife and yet are constantly vigilant trying to tame your desires for other women in porn? I really really commend you doing so though! I'm so glad to hear that at least one man understands that it hurts their wife and relationship. May God bless you for that. I have no room to judge anyone. I'm not perfect. I'm not looking for perfection. I just want to someone who loves me. And doesn't want every other woman he sees. Why did God make men that way? Or did he? Do you know what it's like to go on a dating site and have hundreds of men want to get to know you and not be able to find one who is not so spiritually blinded by porn to even be able to see you? I guess that the men who are looking for a good loving wife, are going to pass by my picture assuming I'm just some object to look at too? If only men could be as bonded to and obsessed with loving me like they are their porn. But I'm all heart and soul. I have a huge capacity to love and love deeply. But that just doesn't have that thrill factor of someone new. All I know is for me my heart and my desire for someone sexually are directly linked. I couldn't give my heart fully to a man while having sexual desires for other men. The one would automatically detract from the other. With all men being into porn or recovering from it? How am I supposed to believe a man could ever love me while knowing what his mind is constantly trying to resist? I really really want to be able to believe your words are true! I relate to them so much. Maybe there are no answers? But if there is and you could help me to understand it would mean the world to me. Hopeless is really a sad place to be. I don't want to grow old and die alone because men have all already bonded their souls to a virtual harem. At least I have the hope that you have given me that you are one man choosing God and your wife above that harem of perfect women that all men really desire. Or like my step dad said to me when i was three. What all men really want. They just need a wife too to clean and cook whatever else they want. I just cant seem to accept that and so alone I stay. It's impossible to fall in love with someone who wants other women. I guess it's a girl thing. I'm emotional. That must have came from the rib part?

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on January 05, 2013:

First I want to say that God always hears prayers and answers one of three ways: yes, no, wait. We can want with such desire that we superimpose our wish onto God's will. God wants us to trust Him. I too, have battled with a porn addiction. Marriage and healthy sex life does not remove it. Porn will destroy a marriage and learning to put away that sin is paramount for you to be granted the desire of your heart. I see that with your testimony you have put away that sin several times. Know that I tell you the truth, the sins that we so often fall to, never go away. I have to keep a constant vigil so that I am not gazing at things that I should not. I put up many roadblocks to easy access of it. I put up warnings and sayings and mottoes to remind myself of the things I could lose should I go down that road again. It may be that your addiction goes deeper and you must reach a point where the person that God has in mind for you would be hurt should God have that person in your life. It may be that you need to be closer to Him and then your sin will not hurt the one God has for you. I will pray for you and you continue to work to know the Lord of the universe. Trust Him completely for everything you need and He will give to you when the time is right and the right person has been prepared for you. He is probably preparing that person right now. I was given my lovely bride only when I had made up my mind that God did not want me married. I told Him that if that was His will, that I be single, I will accept it. I am convinced that it is the closeness of you with the Lord that will open up this new chapter in your life. May God bless your efforts and your earnest prayers. Let me know how you are doing.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on December 24, 2012:

There is a man that is close to me, like a brother, like family. He has a very sad past. His wife left him when his son was very little. He prayed for 12 years for a wife to fill the days of his loneliness. God made him wait a bit more and then gave him the woman of his dreams. I prayed with this man so many times and let him cry on my shoulder. He told me that when he was totally convinced God was not going to give him a woman to marry, that is when God gave it to him. That is the way it was with me as well. I had to be serving God and not thinking of a wife when God gave me one, that I have had for 14 years now. I will pray for you and your desires. God will fulfill your dreams when the time is right.

frank on December 11, 2012:

a wife would be a wonderful gift from GOD, and it would be great if he could help me meet a good one. i am a good, down to earth, very loving and caring straight man, trying to find a good woman again, especially after a divorce. my wife was the one that cheated, and this really hurt me very much. now going out is very hard, and there are not so many good women anymore like we had in the past. most of the women today seem to have an attitude problem, and are so very hard to communicate with. and the way women have change over the years, even GOD will have trouble finding that special one for us men that are very seriously looking.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on April 11, 2012:

I seldomly get comments where I make a difference int somebody's life. I am so thankful when I do. I love it when I see that there are results from the ministry I love. When God gives things that go out from me I usually don't see any fruit. I just have to have faith that each item will reach somebody. I thank God that you were blessed. May you be blessed yet again. Love, Bob.

jbmagee on April 11, 2012:

Wow... Can't even describe what this means to me right now. My wife and I are having a difficult time right now and I am tyring to pray and trust that God has a plan for us. I am not sure what to say or do to express how I feel, although this comes as close as I could imagine. I have been through a bad marriage before, cheated on and lied to. I had serious concerns before getting married again. Would it all just get taken away from me? But I fully know that God has placed my wife in my path. That she has been made just for me. Thank you for your inspirational words. I am humbled by the awesome power of God.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on April 01, 2012:

You are kind to say that, Davenstan. As long as we have freedom to do so I plan on using Hubpages and Facebook and anything else I can to further the Lord's work. We may not have too much longer and this opportunity to reach people may end. They are already making moves to change Facebook and who knows what laws will be passed in the coming weeks and years. There is a move to call all I write hate speech even though there is no hate in it. My hope is that if I am an example that all other Christians may be moved to help the lost see Christ. Much Christian love, Bob.

Katina Davenport on April 01, 2012:

Thanks for being such a great example. What a way to testify about salvation through hubpages.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on January 05, 2012:

Thank you Tam. I did get her to read this. She doesn't read most of my stuff but she did read this. She seemed to like it but didn't express too much of a reaction. Sometimes things need a bit more time to form an opinion. Perhaps now she would have one, should I ask her. I do appreciate her and this was from my heart. Love ya sister.

Tamarajo on January 05, 2012:

A beautiful tribute to your wife. I hope she was blessed by all your affirmation.

Knowing God's intention for role and relationship sure does make a difference in the marital relationship. I once despised it and now I cherish it.

So glad that you see and appreciate your wife and who God made her to be.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on July 11, 2011:

The Lord knows your needs. He may be preparing someone for you right now. Thank you for stopping by.

dave on July 11, 2011:

i want to feel that

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on May 26, 2011:

You are quite welcome His princesz. God will give all you need in His time. Just rely on Him and all will be well. Love Bob.

His princesz on May 25, 2011:

Another worthy read! well-written. I'll sure share this to my husband-to-be. Thanks no body :)

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on May 20, 2011:

I would be honored to read your hub. Personally I believe that God knew what He was doing and created a wife, someone not genetically similar. Don't know if He changed the DNA or what but I think that He designed them to be together. And then they fell in love. I can see where you would think of the brother/sister thing. I think I have heard of this Lilith. I have a hard time believing anything that is not Biblical but I thought it was an interesting thing to read about. Many blessings to you. Bob.

TheSloneGal on May 20, 2011:

I feel the same way about my Husband I know that God made him for me with out a doubt this was a very beautiful thing to read.

Eve was also Adams second wife by the way for Lilith was the first. But the only thing that I would want to have some one to answer me is because Eve was made from the flesh blood and bones of Adam would not this make them like all most brother and sister just asking. I am not taking any thing away from this peace i am one to speak what is on my mind.

Trust me I thank the Lord every day I wake up to my wonderful husband and our children those of us who has true love has every thing we need for God saved us by giving us True Love. I wrote a hub on True love and it's Power I would hope that you may check it out soon and with that you can get bit more of knowledge of me

This is truly one of the most sweetest things I have ever read Thank you so much it made my day brighter to know that there are still those who has the Real True Love and cherishes it with all within you. God Bless You man

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on April 03, 2011:

I think every guy runs into that side of God's gift to him. The enemy want you to see only that side and fight for YOUR rights, to argue YOUR point, to get righteously angry. But when we realize we are to love like Christ does the church. To be that forgiving, to be that loving is eye-opening to say the least. Once the chemical attraction and sexual magnitism wears off after about 2-3 months and what you have left is the decision to love then comes the real test of who will win Jesus or Satan. She has to get used to you and any lack you have and you have to get used to her and any lack she has. And both have things that God is working on. With God leading the way He can show you your soul mate. Many Blessings to you. Bob

Maqhinga Zulu on April 03, 2011:

Thanks guys for reminding how special my wife is. She has been a pillar of my strength. I love her dearly! I can never imagine a life without her. At the beginning of our marriage I used to think she was full of shit but I am glad that I now understand her and appreciate her

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on September 02, 2010:

Thank you DeBby. I am blessed. God knew what He was doing and He knows my heart. Every desire that I had and dismissed as something I would never get (therefore didn't need) He has given me. From the spiritual potential in her, to her mind and how she thinks, to her body type and the skin tone and height, all my desire. I really had no list in my head. I would have been satisfied with whatever the Lord gave me. But He knew I would love how dark her skin gets in the summer and how it glistens in the sun. He knew that I would love her height and how our hands fit together, perfect. He knew the talks we would have and how she would listen to me and I to her. He is a good God. Love you sister.

Elder DeBorrah K Ogans on August 24, 2010:

Nobody, Wonderful tribute to your wife! You are truly gifted with wonderful poetic prose!

Praise God! It is wonderful to be married to your soul mate as well as a gift from God! As Valdimir says; "I appreciate seeing the balance of the two of you." Beautiful! Thank you for sharing, In His Love, Joy, Peace & Blessings!

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on July 20, 2010:

When one has been given a gift from God as beautiful as a woman that loves you, given her life to you, you know you have been blessed. We are both sinners so it is not always paradise but I know my wife is a "good thing" like the Bible says. Her value is much more than rubies. My prayer is everyone knows the value of the gift God gives to a man that becomes a husband. Many blessings Bob.

Lamme on July 20, 2010:

Absolutely beautiful. Thanks for sharing this.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on May 01, 2010:

My first marriage ended after 20 years and she recently passed away. I have had time to reflect on that marriage and things I might have done differently. My second marriage is nearly 12 years now and I am doing those things partly because I've learned and partly because this woman is a Christian that makes being a husband a joy. Thank you so much for reading commenting and enjoying. May God bless you. Bob.

Dave Sibole from Leesburg, Oh on May 01, 2010:

Great hub. Made me take another look at my wife this week before Mother's Day. Plus we just one month short of 36 years together. I am blessed that she has put up with me that long. Thank you for such a thoughtful article.

Trudee on March 27, 2010:

Beautiful! Your wife is one lucky woman.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on February 10, 2010:

Every time I think of you I do break into song:

(To the tune of On Top Of Old Smokie)

My friend Carlotta

Sweet sister indeed

Her wisdom is mighty

Her words I do heed

LaLaLa LA LaLa DumDumDum Dee Dum Catchy Huh?

Love you.

Pastor Dr Carlotta Boles from BREAKOUT MINISTRIES, INC. KC on February 10, 2010:

Your are one of the best writers her on HUBPAGE!!! It just amaze's me how you put your word down on paper!!! Everytime I read your Hubs, I want to write a song from it!! lol, lol, YOUR GOOOOOOOD!!!!! AMEN! Much love!!

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on August 09, 2009:

There are millions of Great Americans, but only one you. It is easier to love one greatAmerican at a time but since there is only one - love ya bud.

greatAmerican on August 09, 2009:

Ok I have something to say about this and you can find it AT my blog, Nobody Loves Me, reply to No Body

I am the greatAmerican, one of Millions

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on August 01, 2009:

I'm the blessed man. God made her just for me.

csmith1146 on August 01, 2009:

I love this one a lot. You seem like a very wonderful person. She is a very lucky woman.

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on July 28, 2009:

Thank you brother. Happy for you both. Love you.

thefount from North Central Louisiana on July 28, 2009:

I get it: Adam called Eve "woman" as in WHOA-man! :D

Thanks for this very insightful and inspiring hub! I'm a better husband for it, and my wife will thank you later! :D

Robert E Smith (author) from Rochester, New York on July 28, 2009:

Sometimes when I write I'm not sure what I want to say is actually getting on the paper. Thanks Q&T. I guess God nailed it for me.

Hi, AB, Wife appreciation is the path to long life. If you're doing that she won't kill you when you do deserve to die. If you could live without her, you wouldn't have her.

Mornin' Vlad. If it was not for the talents abilities and gifts that God has given her, my ministry would not exist. Thank you for the comment my friend. love ya.

Love all you guys.

Vladimir Uhri from HubPages, FB on July 27, 2009:

I appreciate seen the balance of two of you.

Thanks. Your friend Vladimir.

Aaron Rushing from USA- Florida on July 27, 2009:

This was an excellent Hub! You successfully made me appreciate my wife by reminding me of that often taken for granted truth. I can not live with out her!

Thank you

In Christ


quietnessandtrust on July 27, 2009:

WOW man...fantastic read...wonderful insights and captivating doubt a woman can sway in her walk that will stop traffic...crash cars....make men drool...and that's just the physical part!!!

Your love for your wife really shows man. Thanks for an inside look into your world.


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