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Men leaving wives for Asian Women

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The Observation

Asia, especially Japan can be a dangerous place for married couples from western countries. Many couples arrive here happy, but in many unfortunate situations the wife has been known to go home alone. The reason for this is that the husband/boyfriend in many cases has found an interest in something or somebody else, something new, something he finds attractive and willing to take a chance with. Being in Japan for over a decade it is very easy to observe this unfortunate pattern, although this is not the case for every body. The reason I say Japan is because of the large number of expats coming over here with families on their 1-3 year assignments. As part of my job I handle the air/sea shipment logistics of their removals so I know who is who. E.g. Mr. Smith comes to Japan in 2008 with his family and then we move his family back out to the US with separate containers for him and his wife in 2011. We will probably be moving him an his new Japanese wife back out to the US a few years down the line.


Why Japanese Women?

Even after being here for over a decade, I can still say the Asian women are a very attractive race. Asian Women are not all westerners' cup of tea however the majority of foreign men I know who live in Japan do find a high percentage of Japanese attractive. Not to say that western and women of other races are not attractive but foreign men do often comment on the percentage of attractive women here in Japan.

A second reason is that the majority of Japanese women really do make a big effort to look their best on all occasions. Woman back in my country although just as attractive many not feel the need to look their absolute best every single day of the week, whereas many Japanese women do. I must admit I have seen some awesome transformations on the trains seeing the before and after make up. In many case the after make-up looks like a completely different person, sometimes bad, sometimes good.

The third reason is due to the cultural background. Although recently changing, Japan is and has always been a very male dominated country, and women grow up with these principles understanding what their role is in society. When a foreigner dates a Japanese women he immediately notices the traditional housewife type of service he gets from day one. The feeling of being treated with importance, the feeling of being served upon with a constant smile. Not that this is anything better than being with a western woman however most western men in Japan fall weak at the knees for this. However, a few years down the line married with kids and western men realize that there is actually no difference at all.

How do Japanese men feel?

Most Asian men, Japanese in this case feel no way threatened at all. They say that many foreigners have a strange taste in women and tend to date the ones that Japanese men have no interest in.

I have heard this a number of times and I must admit there is some truth in it. Japanese women who are too ugly to date Japanese men, and go to foreigners is very incorrect, however there are many Japanese women who have physical attributes which Japanese men do not find attractive and they are dating foreigners e.g. Japanese women on the larger or curvier side or have a darker complexion. In many cases I am able to point out the type of Japanese women who would date foreigners, and can even advise my friends "What about her?". These certain type of women although attractive would have difficultly having relationships with local Japanese men and tend to turn to foreigners.

I know very few foreigners who have dated/married your typical "gyaru" type Japanese women, with the ridiculously high heels, multiple brand bags, caked on make-up, 4-5cm false eyelashes, blond hair and weird color contacts lenses. These types seem to be reserved for the Japanese men however they will usually have no problem in becoming friends with foreigners.

Recently there have actually been a lot of marriages between Japanese man and foreign women. Not just women in the entertainment business looking to get a Visa,but professional western women are interested in Japanese men nowadays.

Expats in Japan

A very large number of expats have relocated to Japan this year, much higher then the previous years. After their projects are over I am wondering how many will still be with their partners from back home or with new Japanese partners.


Oe Kaori from Yokohama Japan on October 25, 2020:

As a Japanese woman your article is very offensive and you put down other races of women. You fetishists do this to Japanese women. Honestly from a Japanese perspective we find you disgusting.

indian woman on August 22, 2014:

my husband leave his ex-wife to marry me because I stole him, no you wrong, He leave his wife because he want, not because me, He never said that his married men, he said he is single after I find out his married, I try to leave him but I feel pity for him

butchdriveshaft on January 28, 2014:

yeah I try to take people for who they are rather than where they came from. However after dating around a bit and being in some serious relationships, I got married to a Japanese woman and have been married here in the states for over 10 years now. That is why I was going on about the American culture. I have seen a lot of women that have adopted Americanized values and essentially tried to escape where they came from and end up poisoning the relationship...I guess it is kinda like the grass is always greener on the other side..

Hezekiah (author) from Japan on January 27, 2014:

Understood, but 5-10 years down the line. People say that it all ends up the same.

butcdriveshaft on January 26, 2014:

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I agree with what you said ted. I am married to a Japanese woman and know this from first hand. I wouldn't put this to being white women, rather Americanized women.

Ted on January 26, 2014:

Have lived in Asia for 5 years and this phenomena is easy to understand. In the USA, women often show considerable scorn and disdain for men, who they blame for all the ills of existence. In Asia, they are warm and loving and treat men well. Which woman would you choose?

NIRMALA on December 14, 2013:


Hezekiah (author) from Japan on September 16, 2013:

Sounds like you had a bad experience for two. I'm sure not everyone can say the same. Especially for Japanese women.

John on September 15, 2013:

Do not waste your time with a Chinese woman. It will not matter if she is the younger materialistic generation or the older materialistic generation. She will always want and never give. Will sleep all the time and then complain about being tired while you constantly work long hours to honour your part of the relationship. Bad breath, bad sex and bad manners. Can not kiss and have no idea about the meaning of love. Not just another culture, has no human spiritual thinking what so ever.

Asian Plastic Surgery on September 04, 2013:

Those Asian women had westernizing plastic surgery. They barely look ethnically Asian at all.

As on July 13, 2013:

I left my wife for a Japanese lady, I'm married to the Japanese lady now, best thing I ever did she's peaceful quite and loving.

Hezekiah (author) from Japan on June 17, 2013:

Well just being at the dating stage can wear thin. A foreigner getting married will be a lot more stable in japan but there are other issues once you have children.

Manny on June 17, 2013:

I've dated Japanese woman. Wears thin boys wears thin.

Ends up feeling like watch paint dry. Come on you need expression in your life. Don't you think? That's why they created jails to remove expression in ones life :)

Ohh and the lady that said her hubby doesn't like asian woman it's not true he just doesn't santo to lose half his has to you

Hezekiah (author) from Japan on March 09, 2013: