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How To Tell If Your Man Is Married To Mummy
As comical as it may sound this is a common issue that many women find themselves faced with. Being in a relationship with 2 people is more than enough. Do you feel like you are constantly having a third party inclusion? Sadly, this is the reality for some. For many it is something that they were completely unaware of until the reality of it kicked in. so, you are already asking the question. You will most definitely be feeling like this is the case. This article is going to outline key signs that will help you to identify if your man is married to mummy.
Mummy Calls Your Man But He Never Mentions Your Presence
Now this red flag usually occurs early on in the relationship. When you are dating and you guys have decided to get married. Usually at this point he still has not grown balls to drop your name into the picture. This is because he is scared! It's not very flattering to imagine the love of your life is in-fact scared of introducing you to his mummy now is it? Well this is a reality One that is not funny. It's not something that you want to have to be dealing with later on down the line as ditching a man that is married to mummy, is a hell of a lot easier than facing a mother in law from hell, or a toxic grandparent years later.
So Why Is He Married To Mummy?
It is a psychological game. Something that has been going on from early on in childhood. The way that your guy has been raised by his mother was in-fact a very toxic way. Usually what has happened is his mummy has in-fact used him a as substitute for her own husband. He may not have been present. If he was, sadly he was vacant in some areas and was not around how much she needed him to be there Therefore, his mother has in-fact groomed her son to be the man that she did not have. This is a very problematic situation. What she has effectively done has trained her son into the role of a husband, minus the sexual and romantic relation.
In Arguments Parents Are Mentioned
Many of us have arguments in relationships. Sadly a lot of heated words are exchanged. If your man has a tendency to drop bad words about your own mother or father. Yet when you reverse the roll back to him. he reacts with a very absurd mannerism. Let's say something comparable to a two year old in the midst of a temper tantrum- screaming things like "Don't mention my mum!", "I will kill you if you say one more word about my mum!" Anything along the lines. Well, not only are you dating a very psychotic guy. Your man is in-fact sadly married to mummy. Just visualize in your head a fully grown man complete with beard, tie and suit sat on his mothers knee suckling for milk from her nipple. This will make you laugh yes, but well it is actually not far from what is happening with your man.
Initially When Dating Your Man Doesn't Want You To Meet Mama
See if you are with a man, and he never really seems to want you to meet mama. This is a major red flag. When you are with a guy for a long period of time. Say, for example, even living with him and talking about marriage. Normal men at this point would want to have introduced you to their parents. If you bring up the topic and ask him, he will have a tendency to shrug it off and make you feel like you are paranoid. Sometime this will not even be an issue as you will be so in love to being with him at the beginning. It is easy to become blind sided by all of the possible warning symptoms. Do not ignore them however, as your life will literally be a living nightmare. There is no happily ever after.
A puppet man
If you dig into your mans upbringing you'll most likely be able to undercover a habit of abuse. Deep down under the surface there will be something that has occurred and gone on that has made him so married to mummy. In situations where he has other siblings, they will have been compared to him. The other has in-fact made each and every sibling to compete with one another. There has not been a unity formed. There will be an element of unity there. It will not be a healthy one though. It will be a sense of duty and must. In cases like this the mother will have played each sibling against each other like a ping pong match. She will have constantly compared them, and scrutinized each and every child. Making them feel like there is always a golden child. Another child is performing better than them. One sibling has purchased her something and the others have not. A sibling has gotten better grades at school. The list could go on and on.
In-fact, the correct terminology for this type of a mother is a narcissist. Mothers that are narcissist's usually go onto pass their traits onto their kids' too. Sadly, their kids lose confidence and feel the need to control. This is because they cannot control many aspects of their lives. They've not been able to do so for so long that when they do have a partner, they wish to control everything about them. Call it making up for lost time and the control and authority they did not have when they were being controlled like a puppet by their mummy.
Your Man Marries You Before Meeting Mama
See, reading this now will be a major warning to many. After all, you wouldn't you marry a man without meeting his mother to begin with would you? What if you were so young and blindsided by love that you did go ahead and marry. It has sadly happened to a lot of women. In-fact, it will be made to seem like this is normal. See, the mother could be in another country overseas. You guys may want to seal the deal quickly. A number of things can happen and you could end up marrying a man that is actually not available for you, as he is married to mummy.
If you do meet your man aboard as he is overseas without his mum. He will have in-fact dropped his dependency on mummy for sometime. He has been so dependent on her for such a long time in his life, that what will happen is he will then divert this dependency to you. You will be smothered, blind sighted and it will feel very nice to begin with! All of this is just temporarily though. It is a superficial smokescreen. Once you do finally get the introduction to his mother, you will suffer and it will be too late.
Ladies Run- Do Not Look Back De Attach!
I kid you not if you are reading this article and have identified all or some of the key factors mentioned. you have time to get out. It is not too late. You can de-attach yourself from the many you are involved with. You can get your life sorted and get away before you sign your name over to the devil. See, a guy that has such an emotional dependency from his mother, in a way that he has not been raised to know any better. Well, his loyalty will never be to you. It will be a lifetime of arguments, nightmares. When you do have kids it will be nothing but hurt as the mother will also use your kids as a tool to dig at you. You will never be good ebough as there is not room for 2 women in his life.
Your Interaction With Mummy Is Like Something From A Horror Movie
If you are misfortunate enough to finally get to meet the other lady in your mans life. You are in for one hell of a ride. I am listing possible scenarios that can occur and more than likely will.
- She comes to your house and turns her nose up about it. She offers DIY tips and has deep discussions to her son about your lack of capability when it comes to making a home a home.
- Your cooking is not good and she will start to demonstrate her skills in your kitchen.
- Your husbands ex girlfriend pops back up on the scene. However, it will not be in the way that you would expect. What will happen is that his mother will go on outings with her mother and you will be left to feel like their friendship is so solid that you are not of importance to him. This is a deliberate attempt to upset you.
- She will hold deep discussions with her son in your home, but in another room. The secret conversations will go on way into the early hours. You will not be included and she will always highlight to her son how she is not feeling welcomed. How you do not like her.
- You will be given a name that is not your own. If there is another dialect spoken usually she will use a name that is insulting in her culture. Yet to you, it is not a problem and it is to do with how her brain has short term memory loss, but only when it comes to your name!
- Her appearance is overly made. Bring on the term, mutton dressed as lamb. You will have a feeling that this is done to possibly to compete with you!
- She will bring her other sibling over to your home and purposely highlight on how they are so good. Making your man feel like he has to compete and he is not in a position to do so when he is with you.
The list could go on and on. The thing is though, if you are not in this situation. You really do not need it to.
Weird Phone Calls That Reoccur At Specific Times
It is not a bad thing for a normal man to have communication with his mum throughout the day. it is however, a warning signal when she calls him at times that you are there and it is repeated at the same time. It can become habitual. He is out at work, the moment he enters the home the phone rings and she calls. You can be in the middle of doing the deed and he will jump out of the room to talk to mummy and she will be asking him to go to her home as there is something wrong. A family situation that needs to be taken care of .All of your holidays and special occasions will be pre planned without you even realizing. It will always be at her home, or to do with her side of the family. Your family will not have any importance or relevance whatsoever.
So there you have it some insight and behaviors and attributes that will help you to be able to tell if your man is married to mummy. It will not be a good outcome. It will be a very stressful relationship, and even if you are in love, your love will never be good enough and there will always be a problem.
If this has already sadly happened to you. I'd love to hear from you. Feel free to comment below about your experience.
Muneeb Ur Rehman from Pakistan on March 27, 2021:
Freelance Queen (author) from The World on March 27, 2021:
Muneeb Ur Rehman from Pakistan on March 25, 2021:
Interesting and somewhat funny.