Engelta loves to talk and study in depth the self-esteem issues, as well as how to improve and cherish relationships.
The relationship that you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship in your life. That means that before searching for your other half, you should take care of your half. A relationship won't change how you perceive yourself. Neither will a guy make you change how you feel about yourself.
However, once you have found out who you are and what you want, you are ready to be in a relationship. One that will need constant work and love and trust in it. Before walking into a new relationship, remember that a man learns to treat you by watching how you treat yourself. And do not be anxious if you see that your relationship is meeting dead ends once in a while. For a relationship to evolve, it must go through a series of ending, from which it will come out stronger if you and your significant other are meant to be. If it does not come out stronger, well it might be time to move on.
Anyway, do not take the final step without going through these advices and get a better understanding of where you stand and what you want from your love life, what can you do and what you have no control over. There is no point in leaving if you have every intention in coming back, so think it twice and cherish the moments you are together with your better half.
How to choose your life partner?
- It is great when your relationship is going great. But the real happiness is when you can solve problems and stick together when things are rough, because those are the moments that you know if you are going to stick together or not.
- They say you should pick the person with whom you would take a mortgage, not the one with whom you can throw a wedding.
- Do not go on the long run because you love how they look or how rich they are. The heart and soul are the ones that will never change.
- Fighting is good in relationships. Of course, not all the time, and not for the same reasons over and over again. You should also know how to communicate with each-other.
- If you need an advice, ask. Nobody knows everything, and you can learn a lot by other's love relationships experiences. One thing to not forget when you ask for advice, it is to keep in mind that every relationship is very different, and even though it may seem like another couple has figured it all out, the truth is that they have not! You never know what goes behind close doors, so take their advice, but figure out solutions yourself. In the end, no one knows how to manage a relationship, or even a friendship, except the person that is already in that relationship.
- Money does always matter. However it does not always make for a happy and healthy relationship.
- Do not fight with your partner or yell at them just because you are angry about something else, lets say things are not going well with school, or at work. Instead share with him/her your problems and let them help you, or at least let them be a shoulder to cry on.
- The most meaningful gifts are the ones that say: "I was thinking about you.", not the size or the price of the gifts. You may only gift a single flower on a special or any ordinary day. You may just arrange a coffee date, or a trip to the library. Any of these acts will show your partner that you care, but the best thing is that you show not only that they are in your mind and heart, but also that you have paid attention to what makes them smile. I would love a book as a gift for example and I wouldn't be happier!
- There are some things you should sacrifice, like not going out with friends, or spending more time with his or her family than yours at some point. These are all things you can't escape from sometimes, so just go along with whatever you have to do.
You two should be a team. The small and big things you should keep in check.
- When entering a relationship, if you are serious about it, do not think "I hope this works." Change your mindset into "I will do everything to make this work."
- Demand respect from your partner and respect them too. There is nothing more essential than respect. If respect is missing, what's the point of being together?
- Do not depend on your significant other for happiness. You make your own happiness. They are just a part of it.
- When you are not right, you should apologize. I bet you know how it goes "Break a glass. Stick the pieces together. Apologize. Did it go back to the previous form? I bet not.", however, apologizing does go a long way and it may just relieve some sorrow and heart break. Learn to say sorry. It shows you care. It shows you understand. Then, adjust your behavior.
- Do not let a day go by by not showing what they mean to you. Acts speak louder than words, but an act can break bones and words can break a heart, so words are important after all.
- Sometimes you will need to slow down and take things easy. You are in the process of knowing each-other, so what's the point of hurrying?
- Accept the fact that he/she is not perfect and you are not perfect as well. No one is perfect. And you can not control no one. Once you accept these, things will run smoother.
- Celebrating anniversaries does not always mean that you two should have more fun than last year, or buy more gifts than last year. Sometimes a handwritten letter is more than enough.
- Have a life without your partner. Go out have fun with your friends and family. Did you know that when you fall in love you lose 2 close friends? -This is conducted by a research made to an amount of people. 70% of them admitted that when they fall in love, and got into a relationship, they lost two approximately two close friends. This happens due to the fact that those friends, usually single, feel threatened by the new girl/boy, they feel jealous, and they excuse all these by saying "I understand you need to stay with him/her, so I am leaving you some space, I will no more call you again so much.", but they rarely call, and after sometime, they do not do anymore. They will justify you did not find the time for them because of the new girl/boy!! Tell me about that!
- Hold hands every now and then. Hold hands even when you two are arguing. You will feel more connected. Some couples choose to not hold hands in public and that's OK. However, in private, if you do not like holding hands, or if your partner refuses to do that, maybe you two are not as connected as you thought you are. Holding hands is another level of intimacy.
In a world that is spinning so fast and many couples choosing another way of 'coupling' by staying in "open relationships", I think it's important to have a look and understanding what that really means, the feelings that may overwhelm you, as well as the consequences and how to handle it.
Make peace with the fact that sometimes you will scare them, you will hurt them and maybe you will consider breaking up a zillion times every day. Things just get rough sometimes. Laugh it off. Go to bed angry and clear things up in the morning. Laugh it off later. Do not ignore the moments when you are full of negative emotions or thoughts. Share them. You will feel lighter and more in love.
"The Lovers of Valdaro" celebrating the V's Day. Archaeologists found in 2007 two skeletons from the Neolithic period in an embrace which has lasted an eternity
© 2014 Ensorcelie
Fatima Jalil on February 23, 2016:
You have penned down such adorable and helpful tips. I loved reading it. :)
SAQIB from HYDERABAD PAKISTAN on November 25, 2015:
Most of all, You two should be a team.
That is the punch line. Good Hub overall/
Ensorcelie (author) from Albania on October 20, 2015:
Maybe fighting every week [especially over the same things] is not that good. But I hope you guys solve things out :)
Rim Jay on October 20, 2015:
helpful advises, Yes I can't help not to agree about losing a bestfriend because I did lose one since she was jealous and made horrible mistakes speaking to my bf in an ill manner tone. However, we are trying to solve things slowly.
My man and I fight almost every once a week and it can get nasty but we can't sleep without expressing our feelings to each other. I guess that's what a real relationship is because this is the first time I'm experiencing this.
Stevegideons on May 30, 2015:
Sure If you need some advice, ask. Nobody knows everything. Thanks for sharing the amazing love facts.
Ensorcelie (author) from Albania on April 12, 2015:
Thank you :) You truly helped me understand how my readers detect that English is not my native language.
Khadijah on April 11, 2015:
Nice facts! And Engelta, they can tell English is your second language based on the wording. It's good and easy to follow but sometimes the word choice is wrong. Such as when you say "Same happens when you talk with the gender you can fall in love , pass the 12 o'clock at midnight." A native speaker would say, "The same thing happens when you speak with a person of the gender you can fall in love with past midnight." Or you could say 12 o'clock but you don't need to specify midnight. Like I said, your English is very good, it's just the nuance that comes from being a native speaker that made it obvious it's not your native language! ☺️ However, it was a fun read.
Ensorcelie (author) from Albania on April 03, 2015:
In fact yes, English is my second language, but how did you detect that?
Chaosmind on April 02, 2015:
Was this written by someone who's second language is English? Because I hope so...
Jetsyn on December 29, 2014:
This arlctie keeps it real, no doubt.