Kenneth Avery is a Southern humorist with well over a thousand fans. The charm and wit in his writing span a nearly a decade.
Just What or Whom Might I Ask
is a woman? Or . . .who is a lady? Everyone knows that a woman is not a 'what,' but a who! Who knows the difference? Remember my hub about hobo's and tramps and what is their difference? We have that kind of dilemma here today. But a lot easier on the mind and eyes.
Just what is a woman? This is arguably 'the" most complex question to ever be asked over the centuries without really getting a satisfied answer. We even had the foolish ambition to find out the same question when we lived in the "turbulent 60's," then came the 70's when we were all okay and then the really, over-sensitive 80's told everyone from New York City to Dallas, Texas, what a novel, sweet revelation that all of the women in the world were having, so we watched. We read. We talked to out friends. We jumped on our co-workers for not knowing the answers, and all of the time, women were there, like pretty flowers, growing, nurturing and loving while we argued and pursued an impossible dream. Hit it, Robert Goulet!
A woman is . . .errr, you fill out the blank. A woman is many women you reply. So she has multiple personalities, right? Nope. She has many talents. Okay. Such as . . .she is a homemaker, (at the time, but became a choice), a mother teaching their children about how to treat others and her companion at the same time. A nice gig if you can get it.
A woman is . . .no contest of mental tests. She is ready to answer them all instantly. A woman is not a machine, but a loving, intelligent, warm, caring, and independent soul free from old, worn-out stigma's that some male factions started saying about women and some of these foolish myths have been eradicated. About time! She has come a long way, baby. To be frank, it did not require a cigarette company's advertising to get women to this point. They already knew it. I am only telling the truth.
But What Does a Woman Say
about herself? The answers all true and endless in sensibility. Fact is, women have always had he upper hand in smarts. Yeah, we have. I speak for all women everywhere no matter the color, origin or political affiliation. That worn-out song by Helen Reddy, although correct at the time, did not require women to 'roar' like thrown-away animals. I say this with the truth beind it! And yes, since I am an empowered woman of the New Millennium, I take no crap from any man or uneducated female who has only gotten to where a strong, whore-monger-of-a-man told her so many promises that the results were shameful. (Some, not all) males are this way. As a today's woman, I want to be fair.
A woman is a pretty color one day, and two colors tomorrow depending on what I am feeling on the day. And yes, I value my feelings, but have no one to share them. I thought that a husband was the cure, but only received a disease that I have often had to take medicine to get past the day. Yes, women, powerful women too, have troubles that the women who were beginning to struggle in the 1950's such as cooking a meal for the family, cleaning the house, laundry, and this is no list, but a collection of severe truths. But also know, since I speak for all women, that as a woman myself, I am no ogre not a mindless zombie, a male zombie, seeking a weak woman who has not been educated to stand strong against lies coming from his dead lips. Sad but true.
I'm the woman here. Kenneth has gone for a coffee break. Typical! But what is it that a woman says? About what? I do not want to appear arrogant, but a woman can say three words that says a whole lot more than a man does with his rambling tongue that makes me drowsy. I will tell you if I am this or that, but in a civil way. I know. Women can be regular tigers, both in and out of the bedroom, but I meant, a tiger who defends her babies and all I can say is that if you are an unassuming woman and feel like messing with my children, then the Lake of Fire is waiting for you.
I can tell you that a woman is so honest that she can melt the man who ogles her. Well, I know all about hose, nylons, and panty hose and know how to fix a runner on the go! Women are not easily intimidates. So are men. If I were in a heated discussion about buying a house or car and this spineless "Joe," tries to stumble over his mouth, it will take me all of five seconds to close the deal. I know. I am that woman.
Women can howl, growl, and dance the Tango all night long and she will never complain about her hair or make-up. She s also so gracious that she will not even say acid remarks about her date, a foolish-thinking man, who only thought that a woman is only to look good. Men, in my opinion, need to study more and talk less.
A Woman Can
rap, clap, and if the need arise, slap when a loud-mouth man or woman talks my ears off. I am not a discriminating woman. I'll any man or woman's jaws. Then smile "that" smile that only comes from what powerful women are made of: estrogen. Lots of estrogen. Kenneth told me two days ago that he has been blessed with two wonderful grand daughters as well as their mother, Kenneth's daughter. And he views the grand daughters and her mom, as being pure estrogen. Not afraid to jump on a circle saw. His grandson is the quiet type. Tall with killer eyes. Hey! A woman can compliment any girl or boy without giving-up her rights. Whoever said this garbage?
Who are my favorite powerful women? I will tell you. They are Joan Jett and the Black Hearts (band); Kathleen Turner, actress; Lynda Carter, Wonder Woman TV star and that about does it. I also have three more powerful women and by that I mean, each has worked to where she is now. Not one of the three and thousands more in the corporate world was ever "given" a free ride just to have promotions. None!
Here are three examples of women who have succeeded in their fields and all without bowing to a man.
Virginia M. (Ginni) Rometty Virginia M. (Ginni) Rometty, former Chairman, President and Chief Executive Officer of IBM. Rometty became Chairman, President and C.E.O., of IBM in 2012 and retired form IBM as Executive Chairman on Dec. 31, 2020.
Mary Teresa Barra is an American businesswoman. She has been the chairman and CEO of General Motors Company (GM) since Jan. 15, 2014. Barra is the first female CEO of a major automaker.
Jennifer Rose McMahon is a USA Today Best-selling Author. McMahon is creating her Pirate Queen series and Irish Mystic Legends series since her college days abroad in Ireland.
A Woman in 2012 Can
Wed, bed, and color our hair a crimson Red. And not ask if you male folk like it or not. It's our hair. Not yours. We can also bleed, read, and express our need. Women today can easily get across any opinion about what they need and put it in a remarkably-sensible set of ideas that will work.
Listen! We can also walk, talk, and use the chalk. We are not idiots. And not a team of mindless machines as (in the 1950's) when MEN called the shots, made the tots, and put the poor wife's space a case of rots. Things were far from easy for women of this era.
Me? I told Kenneth that I am a CEO of my own printing company and yes, I can hire, fire, and not let my production jump from cold to fire. My staff and I are "on" daily just like gangbusters. I will not ask any of my staff to do something that I can do, and fellas, my friends and I can testify that we know exactly what this means.
Just what is a woman?
We women know. Men, start learning us.
February 11, 2012_________________________________________
These Four URL's Go With These Photos:
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© 2021 Kenneth Avery
MG Singh emge from Singapore on February 13, 2021:
What a wonderful article, something out of the ordinary, and enjoyed reading it.
Mona Sabalones Gonzalez from Philippines on February 12, 2021:
It was very nice going through the evolution of women with you. You wrote about it so well and brought back memories like Robert Goulet and Kathleen Turner. And you end with three accomplished women which is very nice. Women have really come a long way (like the cigarette commercial).
Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on February 12, 2021:
Haha! I am at a loss to add much more. It is fun reading some humorous pieces on this site today.