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Jealousy: a Complex Emotion

Is Jealousy Normal or Abnormal?

Is jealousy normal or abnormal? Well, I say it is both, because if you cannot feel jealous at least a few times in your life. Then you might have Alexithymia. Which means you cannot identify with or describe emotion.

I can remember feeling jealous of my mother when she was dating my step-father to be. I didn't know what I felt was jealousy until I was older. I didn't want anyone to take my mother away from me---I was only four years old then, but I felt jealous. Then we might say this would be an example of jealousy as being a normal emotional reaction.

I have always lived with the concept of evaluating sin by varying degrees, where I got this from-----who knows. My mother said I swam at the lower end of our gene pool, way too long. She was so funny. Anyway, I use this same concept to evaluate jealousy.

Children will reveal jealousy early in life by their preferences.

Children will reveal jealousy early in life by their preferences.

Example of Normal Jealousy

When you are at dinner, with a date and you see another good-looking man . Do you look? Well, of course, I glance in that general direction--because I appreciate beauty in any form. I have always told men whom I am dating--I may give my heart away, but not my eyes, so is I want to look--I will.

If he looks unhappy by my actions, this is normal, and I will try to keep my eyes on him, or it would be a degree of rudeness, which I really do not like from anyone, anywhere or anytime.

If he glances at another woman, then I assume that he appreciates beauty also. But if he was rude enough to walk over to her table when I was in the lady's room and start a conversation----and if he was still chatting her up when I returned. I would sit down at our table---order my dessert to go--then I would quietly walk out. And, this it would be another type of degree called ------I am just not into him .

Example of Abnormal Jealousy

You are at a dance and another man wants to cut in , and he dances with you the shortest dance in history, because Rambo has cut back in to take you back as his dance partner. Now, you may have gone to the dance with Rambo, but if he display this type of behavior---then he is not acting normal.

Anytime someone acts excessively jealous, possessive and just plain domineering ---it is time to leave this person alone---call a taxi and get out of there. Because they will become more forceful and jealous as time passes.

Yes, I fell into a rut---- you might say---and dated men who were excessively jealous---but I soon learned to climb out of there and get the heck out of Dodge.

It is not worth my time to have these types of issues. And yes, I also have degrees concerning any issues I might have---as my time on this earth is too valuable to worry about anything I cannot solve in a day, but I will ponder if jealousy is normal or abnormal?


I believe a jealous person is also possessive, and one should stay as far away from anyone who fits this description. If you are dating someone like this--be aware of what is in store, and do not be a victim.

If you are in a marriage with a jealous person who cannot control his actions--there are many places one can seek help for this issue. Don't wait until it is out of control, act now.

Jealousy can lead to someone being mean and violent when provoked, as they operated on a volatile zone.

There are many women taking abusive treatment today, because they live with a jealous person, who needs help, but will not seek it, as they feel they are normal, and everyone else is not.

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Jealousy Brings Unhappiness

How can a person be happy when they have a jealous heart. A jealous person wants to dominate another person so they will be the only one that is important in their lives.

They want to dictate their lives and this kind of madness is control over body and spirit and love will soon leave the relationship. And, if the jealous person does not seek help; the issue will never be fixed. All that will be left is a lonely unhappy person that no one wants to be around.


This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

© 2011 Barbara Purvis Hunter


Barbara Purvis Hunter (author) from Florida on February 17, 2012:

Hi, pedrn44,

Thank you for your comment, and for taking the time to read my hub. Yes, so much time is wasted on this emotion, when we can be doing other things to improve




Barbara Purvis Hunter (author) from Florida on February 17, 2012:

Thank you kellyward,

For you comment and reading my hub. I am glad you enjoyed it.


Barbara Purvis Hunter (author) from Florida on February 17, 2012:


Thank you for stopping by and for your great input. You have a great weekend.


Sandi from Greenfield, Wisconsin on February 17, 2012:

Great hub. I too think jealousy is a waste of time. Having said that I will admit to "wasting my time" on this emotion. Sometimes you just can't help it. I think as long as you don't let it overwhelm live, learn and move on, it is perfectly normal. It can be very scary and difficult to deal with when it comes to a very possessive and jealous partner. That relationship is best to walk (run!)away from.

kelleyward on February 17, 2012:

Great hub! I think jealousy is normal but when we give into it and allow it to sink inside then it can become a problem for us emotionally and our relationships socially. Really enjoyed this hub!

raciniwa from Talisay City, Cebu on February 17, 2012:

Narcissism as John Bradshaw puts it is a healthy feeling of a child, for a child is still dependent on the adult to guide him/ doesn't entail one to be selfish, but a child still needs for his/her basic needs met, especially nurturing from the mother...but if a person grows up and hasn't overcome it, then it becomes dependency...

great hub Bobbi...

Barbara Purvis Hunter (author) from Florida on November 11, 2011:

Good for you, Sunshine625.


Linda Bilyeu from Orlando, FL on November 11, 2011:

My thoughts exactly...jealousy is a waste of time and emotion:))

Barbara Purvis Hunter (author) from Florida on November 11, 2011:


I have to say, I can only remember being jealous of my mother, because she remarried when I was four. And the man became my step-father, and he was a great dad. But I did not want to share her with anyone. But as an adult, jealous to me is just a wasted emotion. I feel if someone prefers another more than me, then I am happy they found that person.I know I drive people crazy with my attitude, but really don't have time for jealousy.

Thanks for stopping by and reading my hub.


Linda Bilyeu from Orlando, FL on November 11, 2011:

I felt for the little girl being jealous of her mom:(

You are correct we all feel this emotion at one time or another. Some feel it more then others. Over time I've learned it's a waste of time to be jealous. I now refer to it as "feeling a lil green" and laugh it off.

Barbara Purvis Hunter (author) from Florida on June 21, 2011:


No I am not 60, but I am not the jeallous type, because if someone really cares for you, there is not need to be jealous. And if they care for someone else more, then you should wish them well, and walk away or stay just friends.

Thanks for your comment.


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