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Is Quick Draw Hurting Your Sex Life? -Stephanie Bailey

My passion is writing about love, sex, dating, and relationships. I write based on my own personal experiences and those that I relate to.


When you see a man quickly draw his gun in a cowboy movie, it's sexy, exciting and even a little breathtaking. However, the feeling is usually never the same when he draws his "other gun" just as quickly in the bedroom.

Have you ever had a guy who potentially could be a good lover but the length of sex was much, much shorter than you had anticipated or preferred? First time—a surprised and possibly unwelcome shock—especially if this man is over thirty years old. Second, third, fourth, etc.— frustrating, annoying and frankly beyond disappointing.

Depending on the person the length of sex varies; some woman love the romp in the hay to be 30-60 minutes long (impressive), others much shorter than that and many, like me, prefer sex to last somewhere in the middle. The consensus—sex too quickly e-v-e-r-y time—not cool. Even with a round two rendezvous guaranteed a few hours later, especially knowing that the fast end result is not in your favor, it's not worth the time or effort on your part.

For many women, sex too long can become irritatingly painful, causing dryness that's worse than the desert. But, on the flip side, sleeping with a man who has an orgasm within 1-3 minutes every time you sleep with him is definitely an eye roller to say the least.

Is it a compliment when a guy has an orgasm quickly? Maybe when you're young and don't know any better or if it has been awhile since the guy has had sex. Who doesn't feel elated thinking they have turned a guy on by the intense heat which magnetically builds every time he touches them? Sure, it can feel great knowing that he can't control his desire (or sperm) so instantly he explodes inside you only after a few minutes of intercourse. This scenario sounds so much sexier than it actually ever is since most women take longer to orgasm than men.

If a man orgasms quickly he needs to redeem himself by either having round two within the hour or sooner with a much longer performance, or he needs to make sure that you climax first before intercourse happens. Don't get me wrong, having a quickie can be necessary, especially when you're meeting for a short lunch time rendezvous or are on a time crunch but other than that—Houston we have a problem!

What's even more annoying than a guy who has quick draw is a guy who has quick draw and doesn't seem to care. He doesn't care that he comes so fast that you don't have time to climax, and he's not concerned even after his roadrunner performance if he has satisfied you. This type of guy is usually a Selfish/Lazy Dater (an article for another time)—a double whammy like this it can definitely make a girl cry.

Unfortunately I have had the not so pleasurable experience (no pun intended, but magnificently fits) of being with a quick draw. This guy was not only quick all the time, he didn't care if my needs were satisfied until he realized how unbelievably annoyed I was getting—only 2/10 times did he actually make an effort to meet my needs and the first time happened after the sixth time of him being satisfied! What do you do or say when this happens? That was the dilemma.

Most men are very sensitive when it comes to sexual performance. They will wonder if you enjoyed the sex, if their performance was good, if they were big enough and more importantly—if you came and if not what can they do to make that happen. So how do you let a man know who's opposite of all that, that his performance was less than subpar. Blurting out to a man that you don't appreciate how fast he orgasms can lead to ego bruising and possibly a quick end to the relationship.

When a guy has "this" issue, he should be upfront and tell you right away. Also he should be doing something about it (i.e. Viagra). If you are with a guy who has quick draw and is selfish to the point where he doesn't care about your needs, then you need to blow off your gun, jump on your horse, and leave that premature cowboy in the dust!


Stephanie Bailey (author) from Denver on January 17, 2014:

Thank you Mary, and thank you for reading and commenting. :)

Stephanie Bailey (author) from Denver on January 17, 2014:

Thank you SomeGuy...I always appreciate feedback---its great to know that there are guys out there that have that problem, but are not selfish lovers. Thank you for reading!

Stephanie Bailey (author) from Denver on January 17, 2014:

Thanks DDE! And thank you for reading.

Stephanie Bailey (author) from Denver on January 17, 2014:

Thank for reading!

SomeGuy on January 16, 2014:

To be honest. I have this problem. SO I took the initiative to figuring out what the hell is going on. Glad I do get my girlfriend off before anything or else I would probably have a very hurt ego. Good to read up for other men. Not just women. Thanks

Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on October 01, 2013:

A great approach to this hub and most informative

Stephanie Bailey (author) from Denver on September 24, 2013:

Thank you Mary and thank you for reading!

Mary Roberts-Bailey on September 23, 2013:

Sensitive subject handled with humor.