My passion is writing about love, sex, dating, and relationships. I write based on my own personal experiences and those that I relate to.
When a man gets caught up in his feelings quickly—too caught up—which head is actually leading his emotions and dialogue?
Just because a guy will make you feel sexually desired—before ever having sex with you, and will act like he is emotionally invested in you—after knowing you for a short time—doesn't mean that he wants you in your entirety.
A guy who is driven by his "other head" is good at luring women into having sex with him by making them feel special and important...
He will openly talk about the future with you—all the things he wants—and you just happen to be exactly what he has been looking for. He will "unfeignedly" express how much you mean to him and even plan trips with you to show you his sincerity. He might even be bold enough to tell you that he loves you after only a few weeks of knowing you. Magical? Likely not.
Although you might think you have finally met the right guy, don't jump for joy too soon. All his actions are for the purpose of wining your trust. If sex is not an option (on his time line) all his words, affections, and promises will become null and void. Also, if he has sex too soon he will eventually get bored. Basically this is not a win, win situation for you. Wonderful!
Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of men who will genuinely speak from their heart when they are expressing how they feel. Unfortunately, there are other men who will speak strictly from another throbbing area. Yikes!
Men who are talented (to say the least) with their words—and who work hard to connect with a woman on an emotional level—might be doing so to build trust and lower a woman's inhibitions. Since a guy like this tends to be a great listener, communicator, and supporter, recognizing what is actually motivating him can be tricky.
We all crave to be desired; to feel wanted; to feel sexy by the way a guy looks at us. To feel like we are the most beautiful woman in the room. I get it, however, so does this guy, and he will play on those desires in hopes of gratifying his "other head."
When a man's emotions are powered from his "other head," his sincerity is something to be questioned. Although his actions (at first) might seem credible—if you're not paying full attention—his constant inappropriate sexual innuendo are a big Red Flag. Are you paying attention or are you caught up at the moment?
Is this connection genuine or an act to sweep you off your feet and into his bedchamber?
Since, most women want to be swept off their feet, there are many men who will try and take advantage of this—solely in the hopes of satisfying his "other head." Let's keep it real, for most men—if they are attracted to you—sex will be a goal on their list. However, sex should not be the main or only goal if he honestly envisions a future with you. Simultaneously, if being intimate with you is his only goal, you can't put all the blame on him if you don't take the time to know him before deciding to have sex.
By getting to know a guy, you have a better chance to uncover which head might be leading his (apparently) strong feelings for you. Time reveals all. Don't be afraid to listen to your instincts—they are rarely wrong. Pay attention to his too-soon sexual innuendos. Even when he claims he is "joking" or moved by your beauty/sexiness—chances are,he is driven by his "other head" versus his heart and mind. Let's keep it real, if that is the case your relationship won't last.
Patty Stanger from Millionaire Match has told men, "let your penis do the picking." Although this is good advice—because being sexually attracted to a woman is important—sex alone cannot be the only driving force for a man to want you. If it is, then what will happen when you get sick, injured, have a baby, lose your sex drive, etc.? Will this give him the excuse to be unfaithful or bail out of the relationship?
Time reveals all, don't rush the process...
If a man truly feels that you are the one, he will continue to prove it to you by his consistent and upward actions. Stop believing that the initial romantic (and so-called caring) song and dance is who he actually is. Wait to see if his actions stay the same or completely change when you don't rush into a sexual relationship. If his "other head" is leading this impressive act of chivalry, trust me, it will not last.
Being sexual, talking sexually or dry-humping you is not proof that he genuinely cares for you or loves you. What this proves sexually is that he’s an immature seventeen-year-old boy—who can't control his hormones—that happens to be trapped inside an older man's body. Yikes!
Even if he tries to back up his sexual desires for you with daily text messages, phone calls and what seems to be genuine effort, if you don't cave in by sleeping with him (usually within a few weeks or perhaps a month) his desire for you will radically change. A man who undeniably wants you in his life, will work to keep the connection strong without focusing so hard on the sexual stuff.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that sex isn't important or that we need to hold sex hostage from a guy. However, every time we decide to jump into bed with a guy, there is a risk that he might not call or that he will lose interest. If you are OK with that, great. But, to minimize potential one-night stands get to know him. Unfortunately, there are some men who have a warped idea of what love means.
Signs that his "other head" is leading his emotions:
- He will be overly interested in your life so that you will want to have sex with him.
- Most of your time spent together he will be trying to get your clothes off.
- His conversations will be overly sexual.
- He will take you places—dinners, trips, events—only if his "other head" will benefit.
- His obsessive need to have sex with you will be a main concern for him.
A guy who is led emotionally by his "other head" is primarily concerned with the "act" of being sexual versus finding a meaningful sustainable connection. He will convince himself that he needs a partner who is highly sexual and open sexually to doing anything HE wants. If not, he will get discouraged, lose interest or become bored. He will also confuse hormone overload with love. Basically, the more sexually desirable his "other head" finds you, the more he convinces himself he's in love. Are you kidding me?!
I dated a guy who showed up at my job in disarray; telling me that he didn't know if he could handle dating me if we weren't having sex. Seriously?! We were dating for less than two weeks and only had three dates and kissed twice. Was he honestly expecting me to drop my panties after three dates?
This guy acted like he was going to explode if he didn't know the exact date and time that I was willing to have sex with him. Really?! Again, WE WERE DATING LESS THAN TWO WEEKS. This behavior was extremely unattractive and a big turn-off.
I realized his "other head" was leading his emotions when he told me he was in love with me (too soon). Hmm. He also thought that by "confessing" how he would normally rush into sex (I'm assuming rushing for this guy meant after one day), I would feel special (?). Seriously? He even had the audacity to tell me that he wasn't ready for a meaningful relationship until me. Right.
What I found hilarious was that he was obviously still following the same path his penis was blindly leading him on, except I was not falling for his bullsh**t. He even admitted his past relationships were all lead by sex—which didn't last once he realized that sex was the only commonality. Of course this was after he would tell these women how much he also loved them and wanted a future. He then tried to convince me that he was looking for something more significant. Was he? I personally didn't have the time or the patience for this potential highly emotional sexually driven roller-coaster ride.
Here's the thing, if a guy must convince you that he has miraculously changed after having a brief encounter with you, that usually means he has not changed. Men who have changed will do less talking and more proving—by showing you. Remember, Red Flags are presented to us for a reason.
Ladies, if he can't control his over appetite for sex then you are setting yourself up for a man who will have other control issues. Just remember, the bigger the penis issue is the smaller the actual event will be. Sex is significant but it cannot be the most important aspect of a relationship.
Bottom line, if his "other head" is doing the talking, most likely his heart will not be invested.
This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.
dashingscorpio from Chicago on April 17, 2017:
Generally speaking men only pursue dating women whom they find physically/sexually attractive. The "other head" is actually responding to the guy's "visual stimuli" and his interpretation of what is attractive/sexy.
The "other head" takes it's lead from his (eyes and the brain).
“Although you might think you have finally met the right guy, don't jump for joy too soon. All his actions are for the purpose of wining your trust.” - Absolutely!
In fact both men and women are guilty of putting their "best foot" forward during the "infatuation phase" of a new relationship as they don't want to say or do anything that might "blow" their chances to be with object of their affection. You'd be amazed at women will do for a guy that they feel is "hot".
Their "rules" get thrown out the window!
As difficult as it may be for some women probably the smart thing to do is not become emotionally invested during the first 12-14 weeks of any new dating/relationship. Just enjoy it!
Sometimes dating evolves into something "special" but most times it doesn't. Try not to "project" your wants to make it out as being something it clearly isn't.
"However, every time we decide to jump into bed with a guy, there is a risk that he might not call or that he will lose interest.”
Actually this could go (both ways)!
Rarely does someone choose to have only a "one night stand" if they had "mind blowing sex". Even if that was the original plan they usually can't help but come back for more.
There are usually 4 reasons why one night stands happen.
1. The sex was disappointing/average (No desire for seconds)
2. He realizes she's not his type for being in a "relationship".
3. He already has a mate or spouse. (He's simply out cheating)
4. One of them is on vacation/traveling and just out to have fun.
Having sex with a truly "nice guy" the first night doesn't turn him into a "jerk". He was already a jerk pretending to be nice!