How to Know if he is a Player
Okay, we all know players have loads and loads of women who practically fall down and worship them. Although for women they are not that easy to point out because the trick is to be smooth and fly under the radar as a normal guy. If he wore a bright shirt with big letters that said "I'M A PLAYER" descent minded women would not have anything to do with them. So the question remains how do you know if he is a player? Well i have broken down some very simple tips to spotting and knowing if that guy is indeed a player.
SPOTTING A PLAYER:
1. He is always dressed nice. I'm not talking about just a simple nice shirt and pants. He takes a lot of detail to how he looks. Every piece of clothing has to fit and look very appealing not only to him but to women. He picks clothes that stand out and give the impression he is well taken care of. From top to bottom.
2. He showers you with attention upon when you first meet. Don't be fooled this attention doesn't last. After he gets what he wants, you become more or less an after thought to him. If your good at sex he may keep you around but that won't last and your never the only one.
3. Amazing in bed. I'm not saying every guy who is amazing in bed is a player but be aware most players the are very good in bed. WHY? Because they been with enough women to know what they want and how they want it.
HOW TO KNOW IF HE IS A PLAYER TIPS:
1. He is very smooth. He has an answer for everything. Even if you caught him at the bar flirting with another women when you call him out on it he doesn't back away. He makes you feel like your the crazy one because he was simply being nice or she came up to him. Don't buy into the hype he has been with enough women to know how to talk his way out of heated situations.
2. He is aloof. He hides things from you like his phone, or he deletes all his messages, and has lot of female friends. Here is the thing, players love female attention. It's about how it makes them feel like more of a man the more women he has. One woman is simply never enough for him no matter how awesome you are.
3. Commitment is not in his vocabulary. To these guys the kiss of death to them is "being tied down." For example he tells you your his girlfriend, but on his social pages he still remains single. You confront him about this with hurt feelings, he says why should he change it everyone knows your my girlfriend. Or he says why i told you your my girlfriend isn't that enough. Don't be foolish and buy these lines, here is why, like i said before he is very good twisting things to make you look foolish. Guys like these either half step in commitment and some just won't do it at all.
4. Last but most importantly Mind Control. These guys are great at getting into your mind and making you feel like number one for the time being. They do it so well that you overlook the bad moments or just accept them saying no one is perfect.This is where he has you right where he wants you. The game of mind control is complete. Even smart educated women have fell for a player. You are not alone. WHY? Because they know women have a weakness for wanting a guy to listen to us, understand our feelings, and make us feel beautiful and important to them. They know how to give enough attention to keep you. They have studied you. Classified you. Be aware that even though you maybe thinking he does all this he must care about me. YOU ARE WRONG. This is easy to him very simple and takes almost no effort on his part. In the end if you don't want to be dumped or discarded or cheated on then realize who he is and go from there. :)
Before i get into what a keeper for a guy is, let me just say a few closing statements about players. Not every player is a cold, heartless, human being. Although a lot of them can be it doesn't mean that they can never be put into this keeper slot. I just want to educate women on what a player acts like so you can know how to defend yourself and how to act if you meet one. Knowing is half the battle. Now men who are keepers are sadly underscored. They usually don't get all the attention and women a player has. Simply because they are not marketing themselves to women with intention. They also are not always the "nerds, or geeks" as society calls them. They can be just the average guy sitting at a bar after a long day of work. So the question is how do you spot a keeper and what are some of the clues that let you know they are a keepers? Well read on because i have outlined how to spot one and how to know if he is a keeper.
How to spot a keeper:
1. He is the guy that doesn't draw to much attention to himself. These type of men don't really like all the attention from dozens of women. WHY? Because they know that to be a good man it isn't easy and they don't lead women on to think they are something they are not. They might overstate matters when you meet them to impress you but they don't go overboard. To the point that it is just all lies.
2. Everyone who meets knows them has great things to say about them. They almost always have great reviews from family and friends. They are real friends and care a great deal about there family. They usually are the ones who have more male friends although that can vary but the reason is because once you get to know them you want to keep them around.
3. They are even tempered. I'm not saying they never get mad, even the nicest guy gets mad, but they usually don't go to the intent of getting even with you. They may, if they are very mad, as they are human beings and make mistakes too. The difference is they own up to it. Normally though they are not one to fly off the handle upon every mishap in a relationship because they are mindful of your feelings. When they make mistakes they will own up to them and try to fix them.
4. Their not flashy or have a huge over sized ego problem. They dress to be comfortable but not to draw extreme amounts of attention. I'm not saying they don't like nice things, they just don't wear them just go out to a bar or hang out with friends. Their ego isn't so big that they make you feel intimated or make you do something your not comfortable with.
CLUES THAT LET KNOW HE IS A KEEPER:
1. He cares about you and understands your feelings. This is tricky because some wrong guys have mastered selling these feelings to women. The difference is, these guys take the extra step and making things right. They don't just listen or understand or give you a few words to make you feel better. They do things that make YOU feel like a Queen when your having a bad day. They take charge when things get messy. They tell you when your wrong. Most importantly they communicate with you and take action.
2. Your family and friends like them. A lot of times we can't see how bad or awful a person is because of our feelings. Your friends and family that want the best for you can, and when they are honest enough to tell you even though it might hurt it is wise to listen. The guy who is a keeper will not feel or act like they have something to prove when they meet your family and friends because they don't try to sell anyone who they are. They are aware how important they are to you and will be extra good to impress them but they won't say or do anything that will make you feel ashamed of them. All in all, 9 out of 10 like him he is a keeper.
3.He has goals and is hardworking. This guy has goals in life and he works hard to achieve them. He doesn't let his fun factor destroy what is he needs to do. He is working to build a good future not JUST for him but for the family he wants in the future.
4. He is mature. That is extremely huge for guys. I'm not talking about that he hangs out with his buddies he isn't mature or because he plays a video game or two. I'm talking about that he doesn't put himself into drama or lets himself be lead into it. He handles his problems without acting like a total fool. He respects himself, you and the people in your life and his. He has a good heart inside and it shows on the outside. Most importantly he isn't the guy that is always labeled a jerk.
Take a moment and please give me some feedback :)
I'm in noway saying that i have found all the answers or that i'm some expert doctor. This is just my opinion from what i have seen and heard and read. I'm not saying that every guy you meet will fit the bill of what i'm saying, everyone is different. I want this information to be used as just some things that you can look out for and some things you can look for. In closing, i want to say that its all up to you and what you and how you go about it.
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Millicent Okello on August 23, 2020:
I really appreciate this. Needed it the most.Thanks
Mistressoflove (author) from Rhode Island on February 27, 2012:
All comments are respected and appreciated. :)