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Is Divorce More Difficult for Men or Women?

“Argument” by kd5ytx via stock.xchng

“Argument” by kd5ytx via stock.xchng

It's difficult for me to conclude that divorce is more difficult for people of one gender or another because the disadvantages a gender might face may matter more or less to certain people. Also, one difficulty can't even be carried across an entire gender, anyway.

Women might find themselves at a disadvantage because it may be harder for them to get back into the job field after having been married without working. The average salaries for women in some occupations were lower than those for men, and if a woman working at some companies today needs to take maternity leave, it may result in losing the job completely; it's obviously difficult to raise children as a single mother without a job. I met a woman who currently has a high-powered job at Intel... after having lost her last job because of maternity leave.

At the same time, men might not be able to win custody of their children with the same ease as women. They also may face more societal pressure to be providers for their children rather than nurturing parents who do homemaking chores. Meanwhile, more women are working outside the home due to the second shift and do not face such pressures to play both roles; in fact, women are expected more and more to be superwomen who can handle a variety of pressures with grace and ease.

Both single mothers and fathers face difficulties in raising children; they need to demonstrate positive models for both genders for their children when they might have just one example in the household.

Please offer your ideas! This is different for everyone, and I want your perspectives in this Hub. How much are gender differences at play? Does it depend on culture?

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Comments

Mareo on April 22, 2010:

we need to look in the long run!!! what if a time comes that there are lots of divorce people? will people still want to get marry???

sukhera143 from Home on October 12, 2009:

Be honest with your life partner.

foodiegaga on October 05, 2009:

I don't get why there is all the negativity surrounding divorce.....I am a divorced mother with four children.My oldest now 28 and my yougest now 21, were 12 and 5 respectively at the time. When explaining to them about their parents eminent parting, neither their dad nor I used any negative language about us separating. We put it to them as a good thing for all of us....to this day I have never heard them speak negatively about it even though the divorce did turn messy and money was scarce with no heat or electricity at its worst.

We are celebrating Thanksgiving together this year...all of us coming together while living happily apart.

Shalini Kagal from India on November 13, 2008:

From what I've seen around me - and that's all I'm going by - the men seem to be harder hit than the women. I guess women are stronger emotionally and today, coupled with financial freedom, they seem to take it in their stride - even when they are the wronged party! When women are working - again, only from what I've seen - they seem to take better care of themselves as well and this means no lack of male attention even after a divorce. The kids of course, suffer whichever way - that's the really sad part.

glassvisage (author) from Northern California on November 13, 2008:

Those are the basics, market solution!

market solution on November 13, 2008:

Although divorce certainly takes a toll on both sides, I stand by my theory - the person who wants the divorce has the easier time, because they don't have the added emotional distress to deal with. And, you're right - the kids pay in the end.

glassvisage (author) from Northern California on November 05, 2008:

Hi everyone, and thanks for commenting! You all have great points. Yes, marriage is completely different today, what with the second shift of women in the workplace and more. Women might seem to take it worse at times, but many men can find themselves completely devastated, more than the women. It depends on the relationship, but too often, the kids are hurt the most!

Shane Dayton from Cedar Rapids, IA on November 05, 2008:

I think it can really depend. It's naturally going to be hard on anyone, but from the guys' point of view I'd say it can depend on the guy. There's the cocky guys, the jerks, and in those cases it's probably harder on the woman, but if the guy is half way nice or decent, or used to be protective of their feelings before meeting the girl they married, then it's absolutely devastating for the guy.

I guess based on my experience from watching friends, overall men might in general have it a little easier, but when a guy takes it hard I've seen it absolutely destroy them in such a total and complete way that I haven't seen the equivilant of with the women involved.

So I guess the end of that is that it depends, and I think the "worst case aftermaths" I've seen more with guys.

Very good question.

Chef Jeff from Universe, Milky Way, Outer Arm, Sol, Earth, Western Hemisphere, North America, Illinois, Chicago. on November 05, 2008:

Sorry - typo! Kids, not kinds!

Argh!

Cheers!

Chef Jeff

rancidTaste on November 05, 2008:

Actually, it's difficult to tell. But I think, for women it is a bit harder and difficult.

--rancidTaste

Aya Katz from The Ozarks on November 05, 2008:

Glassvisage, Good question! Divorce used to be devastating to the entire family and was therefore unthinkable. Now that it's commonplace, things have shifted, and it is easier for people to bear, because their marriages are often arranged so that a divorce wouldn't imply that many changes.

I think the more gender equality there is, both at work and at home, the easier it is for either sex to deal with divorce. Gender roles used to imply specialization. Now that both men and women are expected to be breadwinners and to relegate the care of children to a part-time occupation, then the whole reason for marriage has been undercut. More people are choosing to be single parents from the outset. Even married couples are like single people who share expenses and parental responsibility. There's less difference between single parents and married parents. I know of happily married couples who take turns watching the kids, so that the children hardly ever see them together!

Chef Jeff from Universe, Milky Way, Outer Arm, Sol, Earth, Western Hemisphere, North America, Illinois, Chicago. on November 05, 2008:

I think it's tough on kinds, if any are involved, but women seem to be more sensistive to issues that men gloss over. But I know if I had to undergo a divorce I'd be devastated.

Cheers!

Chef Jeff

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