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Is He Breadcrumbing You? What to Do About It?

Karen Whitefield loves to read, write and nap. Find her at true marriage stories [dot com].

What Is Breadcrumbing?

I didn't know this term even existed until my girlfriend asked me how things were going with the new guy and I told her and as though she were a doctor who'd just heard the symptoms, she went: He is breadcrumbing you! Yes, it is exactly what it sounds like. He doesn't give you the whole loaf of bread, he doesn't even give you a piece, you only get the crumbs! If he is hot and cold about the relationship, by which I mean if one day he is sweet to you and then the next day sends a terse message, you may wonder what is going on. He does just enough to make sure he'd have you at his beck and call but refuses to give you anything more than that.

is-he-breadcrumbing-you-here-are-some-signs

Yes, it is exactly what it sounds like. He doesn't give you the whole loaf of bread, he doesn't even give you a piece, you only get the crumbs! If he is hot and cold about the relationship, by which I mean if one day he is sweet to you and then the next day sends a terse message, you may wonder what is going on. He does just enough to make sure he'd have you at his beck and call but refuses to give you anything more than that.

Is He Breadcumbing You?

1. Don't Jump To Conclusions

Okay, this may not be highly likely, but there really may be something going on in his life which is keeping him from giving you all his attention.But this maybe a a week but if he continues his behavior week after week, then it's a red flag. This is not to say that breadcumbers don't give you any of your time. You'd even go on a couple of fun dates where you'd spend hours together but when it's time to commit, he'll probably run away. Here are the sure fire signs: if you are looking to commit but the guy only gives you enough time so he can call you to have sex, then he is definitely breadcrumbing you.

is-he-breadcrumbing-you-here-are-some-signs

This is not to say that breadcumbers don't give you any of your time. You'd even go on a couple of fun dates where you'd spend hours together but when it's time to commit, he'll probably run away. Here are the sure fire signs: if you are looking to commit but the guy only gives you enough time so he can call you to have sex, then he is definitely breadcrumbing you.

is-he-breadcrumbing-you-here-are-some-signs

2. Confront Him On The Next Date

If you want a committed relationship but you feel like the only thing that you get from him are "How are you, miss you", texts (the one where he is keeping you hooked without really saying anything) then you need to make your intention clear. Okay, I understand that it's not easy to make up your mind about someone in a few weeks, but the truth is that if you have any intention of a relationship in the future you'd not keep the person hanging. Just tell him as much as you find these rendezvous interesting, you don't want to invest in a person who is not willing to invest in them.

is-he-breadcrumbing-you-here-are-some-signs

Okay, I understand that it's not easy to make up your mind about someone in a few weeks, but the truth is that if you have any intention of a relationship in the future you'd not keep the person hanging. Just tell him as much as you find these rendezvous interesting, you don't want to invest in a person who is not willing to invest in them.

Why Guys Breadcrum

3. Don't Hope That Things Will Change

It maybe hard to accept, but the truth is that men are very simple beings and if they want to be with you, they will show every intention of being with you. It is quite possible that he is hanging out with you until he finds the woman he wants to settle down with and until then, yes, the bredcrumbing will go on. Don't compromise your self respect by being with a guy who does not want commitment from you. If you are thinking long term and you have a breadcrumber in your hands: run!

is-he-breadcrumbing-you-here-are-some-signs

Don't compromise your self respect by being with a guy who does not want commitment from you. If you are thinking long term and you have a breadcrumber in your hands: run!

Comments

Karen Whitefield (author) from New York on November 10, 2019:

Rebecca Dickens, tell me about it! Women give everything to a relationship and all they get are breadcrumbs in return. It's truly unfortunate. Sending you good vibes.

rebecca dickens on November 10, 2019:

what if your husband of 13 years is breadcrumbing you?