He's dumped you...
But he's happy to leave you as his Facebook Friend.
Usually because, he wants to keep an eye on what you're up to! And guess what...It's no longer any of his business!
Whether you're still dealing with the heartbreak he left you with, or you're having a fabulous time with someone new, he has no right to know! You already have his email address should it be absolutely necessary at some point to contact him, and he has yours, so you have no reason to allow him (or anyone else who's online) to think you're still "Friends".
Breakups play with the emotions of even the most emotionally mature person. And allowing him to remain as your online 'Friend' will play with your emotions. Even if he hasn't updated his profile recently saying what a fun night out he had (The same night you stayed home alone in tears), if he simply puts up a new profile photo you can still feel a whole range of emotions, and could find yourself asking yourself questions such as - Where was he when this was taken? Who took this photo? Are they any Woman in the background? Did he put it up purposely to hurt me? Were some of OUR friends there, and I wasn't invited? Not exactly what you need to worry about at the end of your working day, and while you're moving on and trying to forget about him.
Soon you could also be coming home to Status Lines involving his new love interests. Ewww! And you don't need to be the kind of ex-girlfriend who leaves a smart remark on his profile like "Well, I hope you treat her better than you treated me".He'll know how to discretely 'pull at your strings' so save your dignity in advance, and just don't give him the opportunity to do it.
For some guys, keeping ex-girlfriends as 'Online Friends' is like keeping a 'Little Black Book' - So don't feel flattered that he hasn't deleted you. He wants attractive woman 'Friends' on his Contact List because it makes him feel good. It flatters his ego. Yes he's probably been collecting all of his ex-girlfriends, some even from years ago, adding them as 'Friends' to feed his ego! Or worse, to compare with the next girlfriend who comes along, but you don't need to be one of those girls! And what's worse, now that he's single you might see more ex-girlfriends popping up as his 'Friends' - even the one's he's bitched to you about!
There are guys who will still do this even when they've already found a new relationship, and they could be trying to prove to their ex-girlfriends that they're worthy - now they're found Miss Right - they want to show off, thinking this relationship now proves they've turned out to be a great 'relationship kind of guy' . Yeah right! He just ended a great relationship! And ending it means, he should no longer have the privilege of accessing your private information and photos, and any opportunity to upset you further. So do yourself a favour, and quietly delete him from you Friends List before he gets the chance.
HINT & TIPS:
- When you delete someone from your Friends, it does not show up in your News Feed.
- There's a button at the bottom left corner of everyone's Profile Page, allowing you to delete the 'Friend' from there. Alternatively click on the Friends tab at the top of the page, and when you choose 'All Connections' there's a button to the right which allows you to delete a Contact.
- For greater privacy, also check your Privacy Settings from the 'Settings' tab towards the top right of your page - you can adjust your settings to ensure they still can't access your Status Updates and Photos once you've deleted them
- You can also 'Block' a contact (either by their name or email address) if you want someone to appear totally invisible to you on the site (By choosing this option you automatically become invisible to them too. You block someone from your Privacy Settings page.
- Find new friends at: FRIENDFINDER
Leave A Comment:
Elise from Melbourne on June 08, 2019:
This is great advice. I did exactly that when I got dumped, deleted him straight away. I still have his family on my Facebook, for some reason i feel guilty deleting them, but I did unfollow them so I didn't see their posts.
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on January 06, 2014:
Hi, thanks for your comment. It sounds like he knew you wouldn't be happy knowing what he was doing in his personal life so he blocked you. Or he's getting one up on you (In his mind) because you took him off your friends list previously. Try not to be concerned about it. How your relationship will go with him depends on if you intend to spend more time together getting to know each other in person, not via messaging.
Sexyinred99 on January 05, 2014:
Hi, I have read majority of these comments and I would like to share my own story and get your insight. I will try and make this is short as possible. Back into November of last year I met a guy on a online dating app. We had some work things in common so I gave him my number. He called me that night. We spoke for an hour and then he asked me on a date. The following week we met up for ice cream. Then about two days later we hung out grabbing coffee. Then we met up for drinks at one point. The last date we went on he took me to see a movie. Prior to the movie however we sorta hooked up- not too far though. I told him I didn't want too fall too fast or get too involved too soon. Sex wasn't happening and he seemed fine with it. After that date we didn't speak for 2 weeks. In that time I deleted him from Facebook because well, I thought he was just like every other jerk I've met lately. I then wrote him and said I hoped we could still be friends if nothing else. He apologized for not talking to me, he was so busy with work and relocation (city I live) but he said let's catch up. Well since then we talk off and on. Mainly phone calls, but some texts. Anyways we haven't spoken since Christmas and I see he has blocked me now from fb. Not sure when he did this, but should I just cut my losses or talk to him again like nothing has happened. He never gave me a true reason as to why he doesn't see much with me, other than I know he didn't want anything serious but if it happened then he be good with it. I think he "just wasn't into me
" or " just wanted a good time" but over these two months he always tells me how pretty, sweet, and smart I am. Sometimes will make sexual jokes too. He has always left me so confused, and I can't say I have been the best communicator because I feel if a man really wants you they will persue you. But why did he block me? We talk about work and his interest, nothing to do with a relationship because I gave up on the idea but did kinda like his insights on things, I just didn't want to see his updates in case he dated someone. But why block me? We've been so casual- not like I talk to him on there, he's not even my friend anymore on there... Any advice would be appreciated
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on December 06, 2013:
Hi, he's probably trying to play it safe as you aren't acting "cool" about your risky relationship and he is friends with your fiancée. Probably a good thing that you're blocked from each other. You gave him an ultimatum. Probably good you did too, now hopefully you can concentrate on your serious relationship. You may have hurt his ego a bit by deleting him from your friends list too.
Lusty and confused on December 01, 2013:
A friend and I were heavily flirting for almost a year starting out totally innocent .. Unfourtantely this is a friend of my fiancé ... I know I'm terrible but I just need to explore this crazy lust....we would sext a lot, fb chat, then It got to the point where I wasn't just doing it for fun I really wanted to see where this would go. Even after hooking up we still were
Sexting, I thought it would be a one night stand, he still didn't leave me alone.
Finally out of frustration I would initiate some ultimatums.... And one night after fight I deleted him off my face book after his childish ways....
It was relief not seeing his stupid chat icon! For a week I would check his page to see what he was up to...we both are private of course so I saw nothing lol but then after like a week I saw he blocked me!!!! I was a little hurt at first but mostly confused ...why did he feel the need to block me? I never contacted him after our fight .. He obviously went to check on me too and saw I deleted him (best feeling !) ... And then he blocked me lol I can tell u it's the ultimate gratification to know I was the first one who said "this is enough you no longer are privileged to peek in my life" i am confused why did he feel the need to block me after I unfriended him? Did I hurt his ego? Hope I did:)
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on November 28, 2013:
Hi Melanie, it was great to read your story, thanks for sharing it here.
Melanie on November 25, 2013:
Well I probably have everyone beat here! I have a male friend, who I am (or was) quite close to, but we never dated. We flirted a lot and a few times almost could have dated but it didn't happen. I deleted him once when he moved to another city in my attempt to stop thinking about him. Then felt guilty and readded him!! Then I did it again maybe 4 months later with a message that "I thought about him all the time and had to delete him" I did it kind of out of the blue. Literally a week later, I was messaging him about reconnecting. Once again, I sent a friend request and he was back on my list.
Then we had a bit of a fight (over him wanting me to send him naked photos) I purposely started a fight with him, didn't like how he responded to me. Then I told him I was in love with him. He didn't have the best reaction to it so I deleted him for a third time!! Then 4 days later I messaged him to apologize and said I wanted to stay friends. I really didn't think he'd add me a third time! But he sent me a third friend request (despite that I told him I was in love with him) and we're technically facebook friends but we never talk!
After all of that, I've decided we are facebook friends for life! I'm never deleting him again..until facebook vanishes or until I'm 60, he's staying on my friend list! But I find it helps, just trivilizing facebook in general and no longer going on it. Then I don't have to see him and I don't have to waste my time online
You can also restrict people so they can't see your wall postings. But I figure if we can continue to be friends after three deletions, we're meant to be fb friends for life now!
Otaku on October 28, 2013:
thank you for all that i'm glad i found this page well i added a classmate as a 'friend' which is always making fun of me. and he accepted my invitation cauze he didn't knew who i was but when he knew that he deleted me immediatly i felt so upset but after blocking him i feel better ^^
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on September 30, 2013:
Hi MeMe, don't give him the power to play with your emotions by allowing him to contact you when he doesn't want a proper relationship. Tell him how you truthfully feel and what YOU want if he doesn't already know and delete him from your Facebook, even block him. Go cold turkey. He Will either come back on his own on a more serious level if you don't get involved in his indecisions, or he will not make proper communication with you which will enable you to start to move forward from the way he treats you. Best wishes.
MeMe on September 27, 2013:
He also says that we should not date anyone right now we should be focusing on our school work . What the heck ?! He said he is not looking for anyone etc.
Jennica on August 17, 2012:
Thank you so much for your helpful advice :) Really appreciate it!
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on August 17, 2012:
Hi Jennica, usually I'd say if your ex leaves up a photo of you both it's because he looks good in the photo. But he's left a close up photo of your face there too, so it seems quite odd, especially since he deleted all the other photo's of you. Whatever the case, he hasn't properly moved on if he's keeping your photo up as his profile photo. And it's almost like he's 'playing' since he won't actually speak to you. Consider blocking him so he realises he can't peek on you and that you can't notice his profile photo any more, he's sure to take it down then! Best wishes.
Jennica on August 16, 2012:
Thanks so much for your advice and for the link to your hub :) I just have one more question...he deleted all his photos of me with him and all the comments I ever made on all his photos, but he still left his profile picture up with me as his main profile picture, and he left one picture of me and him hugging on his profile too. It just seems so weird to me that he hates me (even though I never did anything and it was his idea to break up), but he still has to look at my face all the time as his profile pic, and is dating someone new. It makes no sense to me...he also refused to speak to me the one time I tried to message him over the past year wishing him Merry Xmas. Any insight into this? I know it doesn't matter in the bigger picture, but it would help me get some sense of closure if you had some ideas. Thanks so much again for your help!
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on August 16, 2012:
Hi Jennica, you definately did the right thing and it looks like you're starting to realise you need to take action try to untangle your feelings for your ex. So, that's a first step. And I wouldn't contact him about his profile photo of you because ANY contact with him is likely to stirr up feelings... You have to feel sorry (And a little humoured) about any girl he is dating since he has a close up of your face on his Facebook profile. I sure wouldn't want to be her! How embarrasing for her. In any case try reading my Hub about how to get over your ex in 2 weeks, as I was where you are once and this is how I got over him: https://hubpages.com/relationships/Getting-Over-An... best wishes for moving forward!
Jennica on August 15, 2012:
Hey guys. I'm still having a really hard time dealing with my break up...and it's been 10 months (around 8 months since we last spoke). We were together for 2 years, and he was my first real relationship, even though I had dated before him (but they were nothing serious). He broke things off, because he said he wants to be single and party it up (even though he's in his late 20s). I've tried everything from seeing a therapist to reading self-help books, but nothing can seem to help me get out of this funk, and move on. I've even tried going on dates with other guys, but I always end up feeling like I don't like them as much as my ex, and so I don't see them again. I recently found out my ex is dating again, and it bothers me because he still has his main profile picture on Facebook as a picture of me and him from a special day we had together. So weird since he's dating someone else, and the pic is a close up of my face lol. I want to ask him to take it down, but at the same time, I don't want to talk to him. I guess, I'm asking if any of you have had this problem before, and if so, how did you manage to over come it? Sorry for the rant, I'm just in desperate need of help :( Btw, I did delete him off Facebook yesterday. But now I'm not sure if it was a childish move, and I'm scared I'm already starting to regret it :/
martinnitsim on July 25, 2012:
hello there stevo it took me ages to find it this is the contact
and details,ring them if you need them in a hurry , mention martin netsims told you to ring
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on April 30, 2012:
Hi Faerie, You've done the right thing! Claiming back some power and control over the situation where he left you none. It's a positive step yes. And you're right he can explain himself at any moment in the future, but at the moment, take his silence and reluctance to call you back as the indication you need, like you said, to start moving forward in a dignified manner! You're treating yourself right! Well done :)
Faerie on April 29, 2012:
This article is helping me deal with a fresh 'delete' as of yesterday. I was befriended by a guy who I met a couple months ago as he was traveling around the world. We kept in touch via FB, with his emails of his adventures and little anecdotes becoming increasingly nicer than the last. Finally, once he went back to his own country after his travels, I decided to go see him. He was happy. We had an great time together. But then, after a week or so of my return to my city, he has been sporatic in his contact. Then, a week ago after I rang him and he said he was driving and he'd ring me when he got home...I've heard nothing from him. It's been a week and two days. I've been torturing myself and getting quite a bit of flack from my girlfriends for not at least trying to contact him again, but I had to delete him from FB because I was torturing myself by scouring his wall for any clues. Am I wrong for simply opting out without a word? Isn't his disappearance indication enough that he does not want to speak to me? Isn't silently deleting him from FB without waving a flag and beating drum a dignified - and very effective - way to move on? I'm sad and it took a friend coaching me on the phone to click 'are you sure you want to unfriend' but it's now done and I - at this moment - feel relieved. Maybe he will write me a long letter professing his undying love for me and that he was AWOL because he was 'thinking' things through, etc etc...but I think his silence is indication enough...Maybe I'll feel differently in a few days, hours or minutes. :(
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on March 27, 2012:
Thankyou for your message. I'm glad to hear your coping. Regarding Twitter, you probably just need to try to restrict your access to it until your feelings have settled down some more. Try turning your phone off during the day, taking the Twitter App off your phone for a while, or something like this so it's not so quick and easy to access. Wishing you all the best.
Mia on March 26, 2012:
Hi, I just wanted to respond and say thank you for your message :) I have seen his true colors, how hurtful to know he would just give up when things got tough. Im coping, some days are easier than others. Any suggestions on how I can stop looking at his twitter even though its public? Its all I do, even at work when i have a second I reload the page on my phone to see if theres anything new so I can see what he's up to. I feel like its holding me back. I want to stop looking but its just so tempting! quite sad really :/
Lisa on March 24, 2012:
Thank you-- I guess all I can be s honest at this point and see what happens.
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on March 23, 2012:
That makes things clearer. I think Megan is a bit out of line texting him now she knows he's in a committed relationship. She has to realise she can't do that anymore. You probably only need to let him know that it's going to make you uncomfortable now you're in a committed relationship if he continues to reply to her messages (And to bear your feelings in mind when he makes comments on Facebook on other girls profiles/photos) that should avoid hurting your feelings. Best wishes!
Lisa on March 23, 2012:
Thank you for your response--when I reread what I wrote I realized I left a few details out that may help clarify this situation.
Him and I were aquaintances from High School (not close friends, just knew of eachother). Same with him and Megan.
We 'reunited' (really met) on a biking trip with high school friends. Him and I biked alongside eachother and talked for hours. That's how we connected the first time and that's how he asked me on the camping trip as our first date.
The day after that biking trip, he went to a wedding with Megan. She lives out of state so she flew in to be his date for the wedding of their mutual friends. At the wedding they went off and talked together and then they made out at his house. He said it was overall kind of awkward.
When he asked me out he had said "exclusively" and I forgot to put that in there originally. That's why he was going to tell Megan about me, now that we were in an actual relationship.
His connection to Megan was the wedding, the making out, and they would talk on the phone mostly about her boyfriend problems. He has occasionally helped girls with their boyfriend problems in the past.
Even though she's far away, it still kind of bugs me that he talks to her about that. He says they also talk about movies and music they like and that she's just a friend.
I don't know, what does it sound like to you? Should I be concerned--or is this normal and I'm overreacting?
The one night while we were out, she texted him asking "is it ok to talk?". He showed it to me and when he asked her about it later she said she just wanted somebody to talk to on her drive home from work.
What do you think? Is she just a friend? Is it normal for a guy to talk to his girl friends about their dating problems?
I don't know what to think at this point, I'm so mixed up.
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on March 23, 2012:
Thanks for your message. His comment on that girls haircut, seems innocent enough on it's own given his explaination...OK, the part about wanting to visit her at work is going a bit too far, but he's dating you, and you've made it public so you do come first with him. But bear in mind dating someone is usually seen as the period of getting to know someone BEFORE you decide whether you want to be in a committed boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I don't feel you're there yet. You have just agreed to date. If you changed your status to 'In a relationship' though maybe it's more serious than what I'm thinking? I'm thinking he thinks you are not in a relationship but have agreed to date, because (Maybe all in the space of an hour) he's telling you about his other female friend Megan (I wonder about their involvement with eachother because he admitted that he decided not to tell her about his involvement with you) and he says that he wants to date you and then he compliments on another girls status and flirts about wanting to visit her... Hmmm. When you put this all together, it doesn't seem like the actions of a man wanting to get serious with you, it sounds like he's been involved at least emotionally with other women and not neccessarily someone you should want to get serious with (The actions of a player), but I don't know all of your history or what he's written on your wall/photos to make up for his contact with other women. Better have written something very sweet ;) He may be a nice genuine guy but you'll probably want to talk to him about your feelings about his online activities especially if you decide to start a committed boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I mean, the way it is right now is enough to give you a bad vibe. And the worst you could do is act all cool and say nothing and continue to read what he writes on other womens status/photos etc. He probably doesn't know he's doing anything wrong, because of you not being committed as yet (?) So if you let him know it gives you a bad vibe, because you don't know these women, then he might tone it down a notch, so you don't have to feel paranoid. Also bear in mind we all use Facebook differently (Is he an old friend who you reconnected through Facbook with? It may say what he's using it for) and some people will comment on any status or photo that their friends upload, just because they can and it doesn't mean anything, it's just what they like to do. I'd be more worried about his involvement with Megan. Has he been dating her too? Hope you've got that sussed! You don't want to feel like this when you're just starting to get to know someone romantically, so pay attention to your instincts if something doesn't feel right, then it's probably not. But no need to run just yet, he has the benefit of the doubt! Goodluck :)
Lisa on March 22, 2012:
I just started dating this guy who I really like and am attracted to but I want your input on a few things. For starters, our first real date was to go up to a cabin and spend the weekend in the mountains with him and his friends. I knew this guy from high school and we had recently reunited and that's when he invited me on this cabin trip. We were not officially going out at this point (both single) and we had fooled around a bit. We continued talking and hanging out after that (not just physical) and then he asked me out one day over the phone. But I thought it was weird how he brought it up. He said "I just want to let you know I've been talking to this girl Megan and I haven't told her about you yet because I don't know what to say we are." I said "well, what do you want us to be? do you want to date me?" He said "yes". And so we were dating. But within an hour of us announcing our relationship on Facebook he wrote a comment on some other attractive girl's wall that he liked her haircut and wanted to visit her at work more often because of it. When I asked him about it, he said the girl was a waitress he knew and it was a joke because her head was shaved (since she was anorexic and had fainted and knocked her head open, she needed surgery).
I didn't know what to think... I really like him a lot--are these signs to worry about or should I just move on and forget about it? I feel stupid getting worked up about stuff like this...especially because this relationship is so new and he is such a nice guy (calls me every night, visits me when I live and hour away, introduced me to his family right away...)
Oregon on March 07, 2012:
Thank you stricktlydating. That's good advice--I think I just needed to hear something objectively from a stranger, in order to see what's really going on. I am too close to the situation now, so it's hard for me to see it for myself. Great advice! Thanks a lot!
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on March 06, 2012:
It takes a while to untangle from someone you were serious about and living with, there will be all kinds of emotions and mixed feelings as you sever ties, which is why you're getting those mixed signals from him, but what you've been doing and saying is right, it's too awkward to have a family holiday with your ex and to stay friendly at this point because he broke your heart, ended your relationship (Blaming you for it) but still wants some kind of friendship. He's not entitled to that. He probably doesn't know exactly what he's doing or if he's really going to move at this point so you shouldn't go waiting for an answer from him, but try to get on knowing that he is going to have his own plans now and it's best not to keep emotionally invovled in what he's doing without you. He certainly doesn't deserve to know about what you're doing and stopping all contact seems like the best thing you could do. It makes it hard that his family have contacted you, but they're probably just letting you know that they will miss you. If he does eventually email you you're better not to reply because you don't want to get emotionally attached to any decisions your ex may be making now without you. Focus on getting yourself together and chat to your friends to get out your feelings if you need to. Look after yourself. Best wishes!
Oregon on March 06, 2012:
My boyfriend and I recently broke up after a year and a half together. He said he felt 'trapped' by me and my emotions. We had been living together for about a year, so I moved my stuff out to give him space--and over the period of a month we finally figured it wasn't working.
Right after we broke up (less than a month now), he said he still wanted to be friends and that he "appreciates me as a peer." He also says he sees a visual of us ending up together (in his mind) in our mid thirties (we're mid twenties now).
Frankly, I don't understand. When we broke up he still wanted me to go on vacation with him and his family this summer. I have grown very close with them and we spend a lot of time together--but I am not comfortable with that. I still have very strong feelings for him and it would be strange for me.
Since we broke up we hung out twice as "friends." But the first time he hugged me really long, and hard as soon as he saw me. Then he held my hand. The last time we hung out he kissed my neck when we parted. I ended up telling him it was too hard to be "just friends" because I feel romantic towards him, so I asked that we please have no contact so that I can heal.
I thought that was good, but then I received a note in the mail from him about how he misses me and a song he heard that reminded him of me. Then he sent my family a "nice to know you all" but farewell card. The next day I received a card from his mom (who I love) in the mail, telling me that I can visit when I want to.
I emailed him thanking him for the card and wrote his mom back thanking her as well. I said I guess it's hard to be completely "no contact." He wrote back and agreed, and told me he was moving. I wrote back asking where he was moving to, and he hasn't responded for 5 days.
I don't understand why he is sending me these mixed signals. I don't understand why he told me he is moving and still hasn't emailed me back :/
I'm not doing anything but waiting for a response--but I don't understand why he hasn't written or if he's trying to 'string me along' (which he denies and I thought he was a more caring person than that).
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on February 19, 2012:
Hi StarsNRockets, Seems like he's the one acting immature, and most likely he knows adding all those people on facebook including the girl he hated is going to annoy you. So my advice to you is delete him from your Facebook friends! Let him keep collecting those friends, and not have you there. Of course you had a long relationship and it's going to take time to deal with the situation but while you're split up don't let him keep you on his friends list, it's only going to upset you.
StarsNRockets on February 19, 2012:
I was going out with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and he broke up with me because he said we argued too much and that I am immature... Now he's adding loads of people on Facebook, including a girl who he hated because she told lies about me.. Why would he add her now? I don't understand :/ I went from being loved to not cared about in a few days it seems and I'm confused! Any advice for me? :(
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on February 15, 2012:
Hi Marianna, you sound like you've got a fantastic attitude! I'm sure you're destined for bigger and better things! Goodluck!
Marianna on February 13, 2012:
Thank you so much for your response and advice. It's been very helpful to me. But yes, I did deactivate my account. Not permanently, but just until I can fully move on from this. My lack of Facebook has also helped me to be more productive, so that's bonus ;) :) I think you may be right about him keeping the photo of us. He was the most sensitive, amazing guy for the time we were together. It's crazy how people can suddenly change due to making a new group of friends. I never begged him to stay with me when we split, I just let him go with dignity, and told him it would be hard for me to be friends (never even called him once since we broke up). He told me he loves me (I know they all say that) and that moving on isn't easy for him...but then he got all cold to me when I saw him recently. He kept attacking the accomplishments I had made (i got a promotion since we broke up, and have really worked on improving myself :) He had also heard from mutual friends that I had been seeing someone else (very casual, and nothing serious. Just a new friend to go out to places with :) And he told me he hadn't been doing so well, but that "he had been so much more productive ever since he dumped me". He was so bitter, and it really hurt to hear him say that, but I just kept my cool and said that he's intelligent and I know that things will work out for him soon. He also kept reaching over and touching my arm and staring at me whenever I would look up at him. I miss him so much, but I would never go back to him, even if he did come back (which he won't). Honestly, I don't get him at all. I haven't spoken to him in a month though, and no longer have Facebook. So this should help me finally move ahead :)
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on February 13, 2012:
Hi Marianna, Did you delete your entire Facebook account?! I think you could have messaged him to take the photo of him with you on his profile down, but on the other hand why not let him happily keep it there as a reminder for himself of the beautiful woman he left! My guess would be if he's keeping your photo on his profile, yet being bitter towards you, he's probably keeping it up there to make himself look good - Either he thinks he looks very HOT in the photo or he thinks you do and it makes him look good. He probably tells the other girl 'friends' on his list that you're still good friends. Eeek! His bitterness is most likely because he thinks you'll want to pressure him to get back together, and get serious. He doesn't sound like he's going to come through for you, actually he's acting like a player. And good for you for realising it's annoying to see his Facebook account.
ANNE on February 12, 2012:
Marianna that is just weird of your ex.
Marianna on February 12, 2012:
My ex dumped me 5 months ago, after 2 years together. We had planned to spend our lives together, but then he got a new group of friends and decided he wanted to be single for the next 10 years. He told me he's still in love with me, and the only reason we broke up is because we now want different things in life (me wanting marriage, him wanting to be single now). We decided to meet up about a month ago to catch up, and he was extremely bitter towards me (I have no idea why since he dumped me!). I finally deleted my facebook a few days ago, because I could no longer stand seeing him on there. It's very strange because he still has me as his main profile picture...he never changed it. It's a close up of him and me together, so it's not as if he can ignore it. Very weird.
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on February 06, 2012:
G'day SashaGerald, Well done! Wow he does seem like a tease, not wanting you to date anyone else but not willing to ask you out. Not good enough! You've done the right thing and it's his loss! Goodluck ;)
SashaGerald on February 05, 2012:
I am so glad you wrote this article. My case is slightly different. We weren't dating yet. We are in college and the whole school knows we like each other. He would tease me and never let me date any other guy. On the day of my birthday, i confronted him. And he denied. It got so ugly and he hurt my feelings. He wrote a status update about me in a very horrible way. I deleted him.
A part of me regretted it. But i feel its easier for me to get on FB without having expectations or hope he will talk to me. A part of me hoped i still have him on fb. But now after reading this, its time to move on.
Until he was my friend, he would not date me nor let any other good guy date me. Thank you so much!
Jenny on February 03, 2012:
Hi, thanks so much for this advice. My ex dumped me a month ago now but I wasn't sure if I should delete him or not, and everything you said was true. He had already gotten a girlfriend a week later which was heartbreaking because he was really different than other guys but I thought wrong. I'm getting over him and I think deleting him off facebook will be the last step :) thank you so much!
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on January 29, 2012:
I appreciate your feedback, thanks and best wishes to you all too!
DeloresT on January 29, 2012:
Hi there, I just want to say a big thank you for your article. It couldn't have come at a better time and has made me feel `normal` again! Basically there was a guy, we started seeing another a couple of years ago. It was fun, going with the flow and we did like another. However he's quite arrogant at times, came across as maybe I wasn't good enough. Months down the line I found out I was only ever thought of as ` a mate` yet still had contact, drunken nights ended up in bed together. Confusing and unhealthy! He knows I am a nice person, he isn't a bad person but he is definitely not good for me in that respect. I don't think its good for me to be around him. Apart from birthdays the contact ended last Autumn. He is with someone else and has veena checking-in to places a lot. I know it's unhealthy but I compare myself to her, wondering why I felt worthless and not her....silly as it sounds! I think too much sometimes which never helps :) but today I decided to delete and block, and I feel relieved. Thank you for your advice, and all the best to everyone else here :)
Reena on January 29, 2012:
Yes maybe your right! I'm guess I'm reading to much into it! I'm on a nc rule with him, if that will ever work ....I don't know!!! Wow this is hard! I fell for him really hard and he's going on with his life and the more I try to move on the more I think about him! thanks for confirming that, I guess I wanted it somehow for me ....so I know if he still thinks about me!
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on January 29, 2012:
It seems most likely he's advertising on behalf of the group - Hoping that his current Facebook friends see it and decide to go. It could also be a back-handed shot at you, to show you he's still going, but more likely than not he's trying to get some of his FB friends to go.
Reena on January 28, 2012:
Hi everyone ....I was in a long distance relation and it ended in dec I sent him emails from cursing pleading and begging him none of it worked! I only got one angry email but nothing that he said stop with the emails! I found out later that he started seeing his xgf in nov explains why his emails were so less! Anyways I was supposed to go to this social party in his city, I later decided against it and told my brother to go if he wants. My ex and me both arnt on each others fb ....and we both have it privitzed to the extreme! But I was just checking and he has the profile pic as the social party and time place etc .....hes in this group so they are holding it, but none of the other team members have it up besides him. Most of his ex gfs are on his fb besides me .....maybe it doesn't mean nothing but .....I can't help thinking is the profile pic of the party with time date for me?
A bit confused :(
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on January 28, 2012:
Hi Dazed & Confused,
I don't know what you're dazed and confused about. There doesn't seem like there's any reason to have unresovled feelings or business with this one (Unless of course you just never got the chance to tell him what a jurk he is). It seems simple to me, someone you were seeing and who you trusted slept with one of your friends after telling you not to hurt him! What a big time player! He said one thing, and he did another... Now you've seen by his Facebook profile, he's already with someone new. He doesn't need to explain all this to you, because you already know all the answers you need. He's sweet talked you and then gone ahead and hurt you. Do you realise how silly it is to invest your time wondering what he's up to now! You're investing your emotions into a guy who had the audacity to get on with one of your friends when he was involved with you! *BIG RED FLAG* This guy is bad news. Looks like he's having fun in his photos with other women, he'd be playing them too! Block him again. If you decide to unblock him in the future again, block him again afterwards. You will get over it because you will realise you don't get any rewards for getting involved with a player, there is no point, you've already seen what he's done, and it seems like he ran away real quick.
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on January 28, 2012:
I think you should delete him off your Facebook and start moving on. Your instincts seem right, it seems like he's on some kind of power trip, wanting to punnish you for spending an evening at home. Do your realise how unfair this is? You've apologised (Even though you know you didn't do anything wrong) and he's continued to give you the silent treatement (Once again) to hurt you (And it's worked because you're losing weight because of the way he's treated you). The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse. You could not let this kind of treatment continue if you wanted to continue a relationship with him, so even if you decide you want to do that at some stage he needs to know that the silent treatment is not acceptable behaviour to you, that it causes you stress and so by deleting him off your Facebook and continuing about your life as normal as you possibly can by ignoring his abusive behaviour is the most positive thing you can do. Delete his numbers from your phone too. Should he decide to contact you in the future don't reply if it's an SMS. If he calls you, then advise him that you've decided that you will not tolerate his 'silent treatment' as punishment for not spending time with him when he wants, and ensure you get an apology. You are being treated badly in this relationship. Don't buy into his self-pity about how he has problems in his life - it only matters when he causes you problems by treating you like this. It does not seem he's being reasonable with you and it doesn't seem like he's capable of treating you the way you deserve all of the time, maybe sometimes he can, but it seems like it's too much for him to treat you decent consistantly. My pet hate is the silent treatement, and I've found in the past sometimes it's because the guy is too ANGRY to be rational. No-one wants to be with an angry guy. Start enjoying yourself and leave him to lay in his own behaviour.
Dazed & confused on January 28, 2012:
This is a great article. I'm so happy I stumbled upon it. This guy that I was seeing slept with one of my friends. The night he told me how much he cared about me. He had the audacity to warn me to not break his heart and we made a packed promising we won't hurt each other. I was in the dark for so long, wondering why he stopped all communications. A couple of months later I found the truth out. I spent so much time analyzing everything and it nearly destroyed me. The funny part was I trusted him more than I did that so called friend that slept with him. I was at the stage where I kept going on his profile to find answers but It made the pain worst. I saw that he started to post more pictures with another girl. I blocked him because I couldn't stand to see him happy. The problem is, I unblocked him so we're officially not fb friends but he keeps his privacy setting on public. And whenever I feel curious or bored I go on his profile and he's been posting more pics with the same girl. I hate that this still affects me and he has his stuff on public! I could block him again but I know I'll just relapse and unblock him. I don't care about him or want anything to do with him but there's so many unresolved feelings/questions/business it's killing me. And that his FB is set to public!
Anya on January 28, 2012:
What about if your boyfriend has been ignoring you for 2 weeks because he got hurt when I said I would stay home when he had asked me to come over because he really missed me and just wanted to cuddle me that night but I was too tired and he offered to pick me up if I was but I really just wanted some time to myself and even said I would see him the next day and cuddle him all day...we have been together for 6 months and he was always loving caring and vice versa...this is the third time he has ignored me over not coming to see him ..but this time this is the longest he has ignored me...I've asked him about 5 times if he doesn't want to be with me anymore to tell me or if he needs time to himself to tell me and nothing no reply...last time this happened he ignored also when I asked if we were over but said he needed time to self after I threatened to delete his number and off facebook... and it only lasted a week but this time he refuses to returns any texts...when before he was constantly texting me all day right up to that night...I know he felt rejected and it wasn't my intentions just it was late at night as he had just returned from his mums house but was tired himself but really wanted to see me...I feel bad about this and didn't know he needed me so much...he did say the next day that he has too many problems in his life he hates it etc he said he's no good for me...ad said he still likes me very much...and doesn't want to make me sad or unhappy but then starts ignoring for 2 weeks ??!!
I realise I've sent him too many texts almost everyday for 2 weeks apologising and just normal conversation showing how much I care for him...now I was thinking of deleting him from facebook and just moving on as I feel now he is on some power trip and enjoying me suffer like this...as this has hurt me I've lost alot of weight ...but maybe I am jumping too soon and need to create space for a week or 2 so he can breathe and maybe evaluate his feelings for me...and see what happens ? what do you think ?
pixie on January 22, 2012:
If you are having difficulty coping with your partner's past relationships try reading I HATE HIS EX by Alex Cooper. I had loads of issues with my fiancé’s ex and I have now resolved them thanks to the advice in this book! You can get it on Amazon! Definitely worth a read! :)
Chloe on January 19, 2012:
My 'ex boyfriend' won't speak to me anymore and logs off of Facebook every time I log in and he is being such a bozo. The funniest thing is that when he asked me if I minded him dating other females, I said it was okay and he still flirted and sexted with me, even asking for nude pictures (what a creep!)and complains to me about how costly dating is, how he doesn't feel a connection with a new girl he's dating, etc. However, when I asked him if i should date, he freaked out and became passive and rude, hid his relationship status and stopped talking to me. I told him I was happy being single (but I think he needs an ego boost every other time and is afraid of commitment)and wouldn't be dating anyone for awhile. I still love him, even though he thinks that I shouldn't love him or that he cannot believe me when I say it to him. I don't know if he has now truly developed feelings for me and is playing hard-to-get,feels betrayed, or if he's really over me. What should I do?
Esha2 on January 14, 2012:
Thank you! It was hard ...even today I feel that he will email me, but I know deep down nothing like that is going to happen! But I do know .....I can move on with my life!
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on January 14, 2012:
Hi Esha2, That's great advice to other readers. Sounds like he is truly using Facebook as his 'Little Black Book', going as far as even having two accounts. What a player!
Esha2 on January 14, 2012:
I was in a long distance relationship ....it ended in Dec ....I just had enough of his lies and him talking about himself. I deleted him off my fb (he has so many ex gfs on his fb)I sent him a few nasty emails and he blocked me on fb! It was a very hard month especially when u have Christmas and new years in there. I've noticed he stopped talking to me last year close to my birthday (and started talking again after my birthday) maybe because he didn't have to get me anything. Anyways yesterday I was on my fb ....and saw him with one of his exgfs on her profile pic on fb. I at that time didn't know what to think .....I was mad but was also trying to make excuses up for him. This morning I woke up with a clear head and sent him an email saying I know it all! ...... And for once I don't have any feelings that he should come back to me! I mean I was trying my best before to have him back, but it seems like his fb is his little black book! I know he still creeps my fb because he has another fb account that he privitzes to the general public. To all those people out there be careful who u fall in love with! Cuz at the end that guy or girl might not be worth crying or worrying over! Live your life to the fullest and go with your gut feeling and not with your heart!
nadi30 on January 03, 2012:
This is such an awesome forum! it makes me feel so so good to read about people who have gained their power back and pressed on in times of heartbreak! Its quite inspiring!!!
Marie on December 20, 2011:
My ex boyfriend dumped me because he wasn't ready for a relationship and he wanted us to be friends with benefits. I said no and he asked me another 2 or 3 times to be fwb and I said no each time. I blocked and deleted him from facebook. I was thinking about adding him at a later time. Do you think this is a good idea?
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on December 16, 2011:
Thanks for your message and I'm glad you found this page and found it helpful to your current situation. That's some journey you've been on with that relationship, and if I were you I'd be feeling exactly the same, and I'm glad you have a best friend who encouraged you to delete him from your Facebook friends list, because knowing he is coming to a city near you would certainly play tricks on your emotions no matter what he put up on his status about it. I wish you good luck moving forward, and I don't know if he will take time to notice you are really gone, but gosh I hope he does!
too sexy for my.... on December 15, 2011:
I’m so pleased to have found this page. I finally decided to delete a guy from my past and then spent the last few hours all teary debating if it was too drastic and coming to terms with it finally being over after a few months of not beig able to fully let go. He really didn’t deserve to be my fb friend but I still had feelings for him despite him treating me poorly. These feelings wouldn’t go away because seeing his fb action was feeding them – a continuous unhealthy cycle! We dated briefly when I lived in the same country previously and it was broken off just after I left to go home (the distance was too far). After nearly a year of keeping up some contact and then admitting we still had feelings he let me travel across the world to see him again with the hope of giving things another go and didn’t tell me he was having doubts until I had already left! (yes I had some other travel plans but he was a major factor). He was so excited when he first invited me to stay (texts, emails, calls) and suddenly something changed. I think he freaked out thinking I would just move in instantly or something!!! (which I would never do!). A few days in he said he couldn’t continue and then was feeling guilty and took it all out on me, making me feel like dirt. I now live about 3 hours from him. We’d stayed fb friends but with no interaction. Until I saw that he would be visiting a nearby city to where I live (20 mins) and it sent me into a spin! I’m not sure if he still looks at my profile, or even notices where I live but suddenly I was in a panic and wanting to 'bump into him' but at the same time knowing I shouldn’t want to!! My best friend told me it’s time to cut it off and supervised me deleting him. Straight after I was a wreck, I think I still had some little ounce of hope (or at least thought i'd some day get an apology) But now I hope I will finally be able to move on. I wonder whether he will even notice I'm gone?
Tanya on December 09, 2011:
Great job ! This advice I have used! :)
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on December 08, 2011:
Hi Helga, please RESIST adding your ex to your Facebook friends list for the sake of your own happiness. If you feel the urge to try to 'prove' to him you're over it, you're still thinking about his feelings. He doesn't even deserve to know you're over it. Just let it go. If for some reason you have a need to contact him, by all means message him on Facebook if you have to but do not add him as a friend or accept a friend request from him. You would only be peeking into his new life without you if you did that, and it potentially could cause you further heartache, and if so he could delete you off his list at the flick of a switch and then it becomes cyber hurting eachother. He may also see a friend request from you as you still wanting to be with him, like you said. And you may not get a good response from him, if any. Why worry about keeping him on your list. Be dignified and just don't bother with it. He's in the past and you don't need to give him any further thought.
Helga on December 07, 2011:
My ex boyfriend completely changed my life.. He broke up with me.. But now I'm over it! And I feel I can forgive him and move on. In order to do that I have the urge to add him on Facebook to kinda let him know I'm over it.. And even tho I should be mad , I'm not. It's been a year since our break up. But then again I don't want him to think in still wanting him. What should I do??
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on December 05, 2011:
Well said Girlfromtheblock, and more power to you!
girlfromtheblock on December 04, 2011:
yup! I TOTALLY AGREE ON THE POST. seriously,my ex and i went on for 2years and when we broke up. we didn't end up on good terms because he got me pregnant and he wanted to abort the baby and all, even said that it's not his baby etc even invented bad things about me to my family. and he even swear at me. At that moment I was so emotional I didn't have courage to "BLOCK" him so it ended up wherein he BLOCKED me. NOW I made a new account everyone added me back even our Mutual friends. for sure he sees me on the news feed, so I am expecting him to block me BUT THEN HE DIDN'T he even posted a public statement for the next 2weeks. so when I found out that he hasn't blocked me. I BLOCKED HIM IMMEDIATELY. yes! It FELT SO GOOD seriously. his not worth it. Now I have a very handsome baby boy, and his not part of it! Its his loss because he is not a good person and he will never have peace of mind no matter how long it takes! For sure, he will not have a good life even if he has a family of his own. The Gift of Life is a blessing.
AND YES, whoever is the same situation as I had, BLOCK HIM. ELIMINATE HIM FROM YOUR SOCIAL NETWORK, FROM YOUR HEART AND MIND AND MOVE ON. they are not worth it. its always their loss!!
this all happened 10months ago and i just wanna share this so that those who are going through it just now, will be smarter to DELETE THEIR EX.
Kerry on December 03, 2011:
Here is my story he got back in touch with an ex who he has not seen in 20 odd year she added him on facebook. I was his younger woman (I am 26 he is 48) and I thought he was the one for me but he was avoiding my questions about her and started ignoring me, anyway he said he had feelings for me and this ex a few weeks ago. Monday night he told me that he was going back to her that he never meant to hurt me. I deleted him and told him I thought his ex was the oldest looking 42 year old I have seen which is true hope it all ends in heart break for him as that is what he deserves.
Mike on November 09, 2011:
Once you un-friend, you won't be able to delete any old posts, comments, or photos, you put on his wall. So, first use a tool like Exfoliate to purge all your old Facebook junk before un-friending him. He's also in control of the visibility of comments you've made to his posts ... he can make your comments visible to the world. All the more reason to purge all your old Facebook posts and comments from your friends' walls.
Meesh on November 08, 2011:
As soon as you break up with someone - break all contact! FB or otherwise.
Angel709 from midwest on November 03, 2011:
Excellent article and you are spot on...especially about the 'collection of ex's'. Sadly, FB has been the tool of choice for many who have passive-aggressive behavior. My ex husband wanted me to befriend him on fb, and though we are civil and cordial I told him, I didn't need to see his 'activity' and friend collection. I agree with you...whether you're over him/her or not, it can play games with your mind even if you're mature. I also think it's a way for him to keep his soon-to-be wife in check with a silent message: "See how many 'friends' I have...act right or else....it's sad and manipulative and once you realize this kind of behavior (even prior to facebook) you run from it at all cost. You have a greater worth than that!!! P.S. Because me and my ex were together for so long and we have mutual friends, I also requested they not give a 'report' or status update on what they saw on his page.~~~ Again....excellent article, voted up!!!
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on October 31, 2011:
Wow, he sent you a message on Facebook but then deleted you as a friend when you didn't reply within a day. I don't think he's really ready to just be friends if you read into those actions, he sounds confused. In any case I'm glad you seem to have a level head about things and I don't think it's necessary to accept his friend request. You said you've just been learning to cope with the pain of the breakup, so you don't want to get back into the situation where you're hurt by whatever his actions may be on Facebook. Thanks for sharing your story and best wishes for the future!
V on October 31, 2011:
Thanks a lot this post has actually made me feel better. I broke up with my boyfriend (just call him W) few months ago. I felt much better now and I slowly can cope with the pain, I was the one who dumped him anyway. We were still facebook friends weeks after we broke up and he suddenly messaged me asking if I still wanted to hang out with him as friends. That day I was so busy that I didn't even have time to check my facebook and I saw his message 15 hours later after he sent it to me. The one thing I found out he had deleted me from his facebook. At first I was so shocked and sad but now I thank God that he did it. I replied to him that if I'm not busy I'll be happy to hang out as friends as I don't want to have enemy and he's not a jerk after all. The next day (I'm assuming he had read my reply) he sent friend request but I ignored it until now
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on October 30, 2011:
Thanks for your comment, and I'm glad you read this article and thankyou for the update. Good for you for being so savvy too!
Thaguy on October 28, 2011:
rebekahELLE Level 5 Commenter 2 years ago
"excellent. I recently had been dating a man casually for a few weeks and knew we really weren't the best match. Nothing was said, but we both stopped communicating and I noticed his FB status filled up with activities, meals he was cooking for his guest, etc. and I immediately removed him from my friends list. I knew what he was doing."
Haha ^ Troll
Now a few week more weeks have passed since then, and he left a message yesterday on the phone. I didn't pick up. Sorry, too late! Thanks for a nice article!
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on October 15, 2011:
Hi HappyGoLucky! He's just trying to go one up on you; because you messaged him to say you're deleting him as a friend, so he's messaged you to say he's blocking you. Maybe he was offended by your unblocking or the message you sent about it, but more likely, by his reaction, he's just playing games (He's not totally over you yet if he's doing that). I think he's being nasty and trying to make you feel bad. Don't let him! Goodluck for the future and thanks for your question.
HappyGoLucky on October 14, 2011:
I deleted my ex from FB about a week and a half ago and I told him it was because I was doing an injustice to myself by not getting over him. Being his FB friend was not getting me over him and it wasn't healthy. Tonight I get a message from him telling me that he's blocking me from FB... I haven't bothered him or kept in touch since I deleted him from FB. Why did he feel the need to message that to me? Was it his attempt (yet again) to make sure I still like him and that I'm moving on? He doesn't want a relationship with me, but I get the feeling he doesn't want me to move on either.
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on October 04, 2011:
Hi Uniquensimple, Thanks for your message and telling me about your experience. No answer to your apology, certainly deserves the be unfrended, well done!
uniquensimple on October 04, 2011:
Thank you! I finally unfriended a guy who I briefly dated and adored. I made a joke that was interpreted the wrong way and he no longer wants to talk to me nor respond to my heartfelt apology I sent him. Yet he still kept me on his list even though he has this grudge and doesn't want to communicate with me. He probably kept me to see what I'm up to or its an ego boost but it upsets me to see that he has added mainly girls to his friends list when it pops up on my newsfeed. After reading this, I learn not to wait in hopes that he'll forgive cause he's clearly moved on and I need to as well. Thank you for posting this!
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on October 04, 2011:
Thanks Mr Love Doctor, I love how you put it "Knock it off and move on!" - I appreciate your input!
Mr Love Doctor from Puerto Rico on October 03, 2011:
Bravo! Finally someone gets it. The only way to move on after a breakup is to move on in every way. In the past, when you broke up with someone, if you were lucky, you never had to see them again. Why do so many today torture themselves by keeping up with their exes on Facebook? A friend of mine made a really stupid mistake, sleeping with his ex after he married another lady. He hated her then, hates her even more for ruining his marriage, and his ex wife hates him too. All because he kept his ex on Facebook! Knock it off and move on!
Marie on October 02, 2011:
With my last relationship, I became a man hater... He made me the most insecure girl in the world! I hate him so much
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on October 02, 2011:
Hi Michael, thanks for sharing your point of view on this topic. Deleting your ex from your Facebook is a good step towards forgetting them and moving on. I appreciate your comment, thanks!
Michael on October 01, 2011:
People just need to stop with all the silly games. As the article says, once you have split up with your partner (male or female), just remove them from your Facebook, forget about them and move on with your life. All this scorn and vindictive behaviour is childish and smacks of insecurity.
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on September 17, 2011:
Hi Missie, Thanks for your comment. My best guess from what you said is - He's either not wanting you to know about the serious plans he's making with his new girl (Because he's also staying in touch with you). Or he doesn't trust that you won't comment on one of his status or photos about his relationship. Or the new girl knows your name and would be upset with him if he added you as a friend. In any case, it seems like he's just playing it safe online that way. At least you are not one of the people on his very long list. I don't know how you could stay 'friends' in real life with someone who dumped you and has a new relationship. I think there would be more worthy people of your time and friendship ;)
Missie on September 15, 2011:
I just found this article. I'm having the opposite problem: my ex begged to be my friend, he even tells me he's glad we remained friends. He is dating a beautiful new girl. She's the complete opposite of me. We talk every few weeks so he knows I'm dating someone. Yet......he refuses to add me back as a FB friend? I tried! The fact is I know his new GF still has her ex fiance on her page. So I'm totally confused??? I'm not sure if he won't add me because he doesn't want to be reminded as to what I'm up to, or if he's afraid I might post negative comments? My ex is a semi-public figure and has over 2,000 friends. The fact that he says we're "friends" & he cares about me, but refuses to add me as an on-line friend?? Anyone understand why, a man who dumped me would be so eager to be my friend .....yet not on-line?
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on September 13, 2011:
Don't worry anonymouslover, for all he knows you were just updating your privacy settings. But you know it causes you more stress than what it's worth when you look through an ex's Facebook page to read their posts, it doesn't make you feel better. Let him block you. He cheated on you so he's the pathetic one, not you.
anonymouslover on September 12, 2011:
I recently got cheated on and dumped but somehow still love him so much. I sound pathetic but after all the drama, i deleted him and blocked him. To my curiosity I unblocked him for a day so I could see all of his comments on our friends' wall. And our profiles are private to the max... To my surprise 15 minutes later I can no longer see his comments, so I guess he blocked me... Its all so much confusing and I know he couldn't care less about me. But why does it hurt so much? I should have left him in my block list....
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on September 11, 2011:
Good for you Girl_In_The_Photograph! And I'm glad you read this article as he seems like a classic textbook case! Well done noticing his desperate actions and unfriending him. And he was obviously checking up on you too since he sent you the Birthday message. Good for you for not being one of the ex girlfriends on his friends list ;)
Girl_In_The_Photograph on September 11, 2011:
I just did this a few days ago. My birthday was coming up and I realized that I had been holding out to see if he would post on my wall or continue ignoring me. How demented and sick is that! And freakin yes he added the ex he had been bitching about as a friend. So I unfriended him. On my birthday he sent me a msg so I know he knows I unfriended him. I was thinking of emailing him today but I am so grateful that I found this article first. He has done everything that you described, adding ex girlfriends and commenting on their walls but never on mine. And now he has gone and liked some dating site on his profile. I am so done and I don't want to check up on him anymore so I am going to block him. This is so hard but he hurt me and I was doing so well with moving on...
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on August 01, 2011:
Totally agree with you! And thanks for adding to this topic!
love is hurt on July 31, 2011:
The only way that you will move on from a breakup is to stop all contact and spying on your ex, Facebook can make this almost impossible. It may be hard at first, but your decision to block him will be better for your peace of mind. If you are constantly checking up on him and will end up upsetting yourself even further. Great advice in this hub, most people mistakenly keep their exes as friends on facebook and it will only impede the healing process.
puddingicecream from United States on June 01, 2011:
Deleting him seems to be the best option if the relationship did not end well, or especially if he dumped you. However, I think if you guys remained on good terms, it's not really an issue because he still was an important part of your life.
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on December 28, 2010:
Well done T! And I'm sure he'll notice you have deleted him! Hope the next one you find is much better! ;)
T on December 28, 2010:
Just deleted a guy I was dating. Sure, I may regret it at some point, but it will save me some of MY valuable, precious time from checking into his status/friends/photos. I was too good for him, anyway, although I ignored that and let the asshole beat me to the punch and dump me (I was planning on doing the same, but in a nicer way). He always thought I paid too much attn to what was going on in his life anyway. Your article brought home the fact that the reason he has bunches of pictures of women is because it is feeding his insecure little ego. Of course, he may not realize that I deleted him, but then again he might. And then he will know for sure that I could care less about what is going on with him.
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on September 26, 2010:
I agree with you Anamika, thanks.
Anamika S Jain from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on September 24, 2010:
Yes, That is a wonderful way to put your past behind and move forward. One should throw away everything which reminds you of the ex boyfriend including gifts,greeting cards, mobile numbers, messages, mails and also remove them from friendship and networking sites.
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on May 01, 2010:
Wow that's freaky! I haven't worked out how to hide my Fan pages in the Privacy Settings tabs yet. No matter what I adjust my Privacy Settings too it seems they always show up for others to view. It's also worthwhile checking each of your Application Settings to make sure your ex can't see you that way when you delete him from your friends. Thanks for your comment.
sloant on April 30, 2010:
I unfriended my ex. Then he blocked me. Later he unblocked me but we're not friends. Both of our profiles have privacy settings maxed out. EVEN SO...he occasionally shows up in my News Feed! Explain that! I've seen when he's added a friend, when he becomes a fan (now likes) something and yesterday a photo album he'd just posted showed up...and it's a private photo album! (i.e. I, nor any non-friends, can see it from his profile page, but I can see it in my news feed, click on it and see all the pictures!!) If anyone can explain that I sure would love to know how this is happening. And I wonder if any of my stuff shows up in his News Feed!
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on April 01, 2010:
Thanks reportonlinescams and MyValentine, best wishes!
MyValentine on March 24, 2010:
I should take your advice! Great job!
reportonlinescams from Kanasas City on March 22, 2010:
I would just delete them. Don't get involved in the kiddy game with people. Use your head ;)
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on November 26, 2009:
samara shahzad on November 26, 2009:
Great hub...very interesting...I've become your fan now !
StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on November 06, 2009:
Thankyou for your comment prasetio30, much appreciated!
prasetio30 from malang-indonesia on November 06, 2009:
sometimes we have to considered about this and think twice. But we have right to make decision if we felt uncomfortable.