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Ideas on Ways to Celebrate Pride

Pride Month is coming upon us, and there are several ways to celebrate. Sometimes you might need ideas as to how to celebrate such an amazing event. Feel free to use any of these ideas outright, or incorporate them in the things you plan on doing.

  1. Hunt a unicorn and get the glitter that their skin and hair produces. It is the most powerful form of glitter that there is. It is not coming off of anything that it comes into contact with.
  2. Create a dance that will create rainbows in the sky (a literal “Rainbow Dance,” if you will). Do this dance whenever you come in contact with any haters. It will not necessarily make them stop being haters, but they will see that the power of the rainbow lives inside you.
  3. Create your own pet name (akin to “sweetie,” “darling,” and the like) and see how long before it enters the lexicon.
  4. Start breeding bunnies whose coats are red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and/or purple. Sell them at Pride and make a fortune.
  5. Befriend an aromantic and/or asexual and bring them wherever you go. They will supply you with cakes whenever you require them (keeping them hidden in a pocket universe only accessible to aromantics and asexuals).
  6. Find a non-binary person and have them teach you magic. Do not let them tell you that is not a thing; we know magic, and it is amazing.
  7. Find the pot of gold at the end of a literal rainbow and become richer than you can possibly imagine . . . after explaining to the government where you found the gold, and how you fought a leprechaun to obtain it (and that is where you got the scars on your ankles).
  8. Adopt a baby queer person and teach them about all of the queer icons that there are.
  9. Learn all of Culture Club’s and George Michael’s back catalog and walk down the street, singing it at the top of your lungs,making sure to get at least one song stuck in at least one person’s head and ruining their day.
  10. Make amendments to the Queer Agenda. Tell no one.
  11. Convince a random stranger that there really is a Queen Agenda.
  12. Learn magic and turn anyone who upsets you intio a pillar of glitter.
  13. Create a community made up entirely of queer people and use your combined powers of fabulousness to cure world hunger.
  14. Invite the Babadook to Pride and convince everyone you are in a relationship.
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