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I’d Like to Meet a Stylish, Humble Girl

Kenneth Avery is a Southern humorist with well over a thousand fans. The charm and wit in his writing span a nearly a decade.

Writer's note . . .I did use the band name, Confederate Railroad in this hub simply and strictly for editorial purposes. No. Although I do love this band, I do not endorse or urge you to go out and sell their CD’s or other musical interludes. Thanks a bunch. Kenneth

Pray tell just who is Confederate Railroad? This is not a trick question. These are the real members of the Confederate Railroad in the flesh. I thought that you might want to meet them and share their million-selling song, “Trashy Women,” in the video below. Danny Shirley; Wayne Secrest; Cody McCarver; Rusty Hendrix and Bobby Randall?

Before ranging further, this is a bit of serious thinking. I learned just a few weeks ago that Confederate Railroad is NOT their band name anymore! Huh? Right as rain. And as stupid as this seems, these guys were scheduled to perform somewhere in Illinois. That was after a few sensitive folks did not like their name, the band did not perform under their copyright band name. Instead they came back roaring like a hungry lioness under a new name. Everyone happy? Right? You kidding?

The sensitive people who I respect their views, are to be credited, if you will, for complaining about the word “Confederate,” although NONE of the band members or their families, record company and tour manager and their families did not subscribe to the group’s thinking that ‘Confederate’ was a racial dig. What? When? The word has been around since the War Between The States and even the U.S. Treasury Dept., refers to counterfeit money being printed as ‘confederate’ bills. But I do not see them about to change. Not sorry either.


Ladies and Gentlemen, Confederate Railroad

I have presented, or tried to present, both sides of this controversy, so I understand that everywhere in South and North Carolina and Birmingham, Ala., saw the confederate soldiers taken down and this was just because that same group of people did not like it. But what about personal liberty? I say to you without any poison, what if I like a certain statue, book or song that you don’t like? Do you expect to bring down every smidgen of a symbol of long ago and begin to gloat (to yourselves) about how powerful you are. And you could be that powerful. Like I asked: what if “I” want to fly my own regulation size Crimson Tide football flag? What? What if the flag is on my property? Are you so bold as to stalk my property to just let my family know that you are for another rival college? Well?

I just had to be honest. Not because I like to argue, but because of the First Amendment. My rights are just as necessary as yours. I am not advocating bloodshed, burning the homes and businesses of innocent Americans, or protesting with profanities who also talk nasty to our local police departments. They too have protected Federal and State rights the same as you and I.

Okay. Time to get on board with my initial thinking of why I would love to meet a stylish, humble girl. I would. Even for half a hour. Just talking. Nothing else. I do not want sued for sexual harassment. So if this happens, I want an impartial, fair-minded lady to be my chaperone and that way, no harm. No foul.

Personally I love the woman whom I married 47 years ago. She is a balanced combination of stylish, but to the lowest extent of not flaunting her great looks, because she values the inner woman, who I know, not think, is very humble. Also very simple in her view of life. And . . .she knows her First Amendment rights as well as any Constitutional lawyer. I know.

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The first girl at the top is very pretty. She looks like she might be an intern for some publishing company or even a powerful modeling agency. Both vocations are great. But as my wife values what is going on in the inner-self, this girl looks like she is soft-spoken and very sensitive. I would love to meet her with my humble, fair-minded chaperone and then ask if the girl above and my chaperone would love to eat dinner? I would let them pay the bill as I would not infringing on their female spaces or rights.

Would I marry the first girl at the top? Not really. First off, I am way too old. Matter of factly, I do not favor the first Hawkeye Pierce in the film M*A*S*H and the first sighting of Trapper John McIntyre, Elliott Gould. With all things being equal, she would come away thinking that I do look so grandfatherly, but nothing else. And the lunch that she bought for me and my fair-minded chaperone was great.

Now as for the girl at the top, , the thinking that I said about the girl at the top is almost the same. She has “that” stylish modelesque looking female who loves to be seen in most magazines like Cosmopolitan or other magazines that both male and females can enjoy, but certainly not Field and Stream and Popular Mechanics.

But if she is mechanically-inclined, well that is up to her. And I would like to give her the same opportunity as to have dinner with my fair-minded chaperone as me. Whether she buys our lunch or I buy it, that is beside the point. Do I think that she looks a bit cheap? NOPE. A little of both, but very exciting . . .as the girl at the top is as well.

Now as for the girl at the bottom, the thinking that I said about the girl at the top is almost the same. She has “that” stylish modelesque looking female who loves to be seen in most magazines like Cosmopolitan or other magazines that both male and females can enjoy, but certainly not Field and Stream and Popular Mechanics

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© 2022 Kenneth Avery

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