Kenneth Avery is a Southern humorist with well over a thousand fans. The charm and wit in his writing span a nearly a decade.
This narrative has been on my mind, believe it or not, since the 1984. August to be clear. No joke. I have to tell the truth. Someone who was in the newspaper like me, gave me this idea, but never took the time to tell her. Oh well. Last I heard of her, she and her family were (then) living in Dayton, Ohio. If I were to get a wild spell and mention her name, she wouldn't grasp what a HubPages is. Besides, not allowing this memory that she gave me to surface. But to be plain, she was one talented columnist.
See? I can be brief if I put my mind to it. In an idea, the two-word headline is really correct. "I" is a noun and "Wonder" is a verb, so all of the grammar pro's can relax. My aim is to not sabotage the grammatical foundation of the written word. But I can testify that the late, talented Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, "The Father of Gonzo Journalism" came near it, but his blazing talent covered it up.
So you will have to put up with me. And depending on if you have read any or all of my hubs, this will lead you to your opinion about me if I represent negativity or positivity to you. That's fair. I am a dyed-in-the-wool Republican. We thrive on fairness. The higher up's who control the Baseball Hall of Fame should learn a bit of compassion and allow Pete Rose to be inducted. After all, you know that people say about glass houses.
I wager a hundred-dollar bill that most of my readers have said, "I'll bet a hundred-dollar bill that you can't walk that wire from one side of the bar to the other!" I didn't. And this was just a bit of creativity-on-the-wing. But wonder and wondering are really the same, but to really stress my thought, the I Wonder will do more than be adequate.
I wonder what Bruce "The Boss" Springstein does every Friday. I also wonder what Paul McCartney does any day of the week? Both these rock icons have so much scratch that their great grand kids will never spend it all, so I would propose this idea: McCartney probably sleeps past 9 a.m., Then he gets up, stretches, kisses his wife and heads for the dining area where his maid is making a coffee wannabe mixture in his expensive coffee maker and he plops down at the eating table (which costs more than my life) to zoom over whatever daily tabloid has to catch his eye.
He drinks his coffee mixture, eats a fruit-based, no meat breakfast (poor guy) and then goes to talk with his wife, Nancy Shevell, about where they should go and what to do. But she loves to sleep most of the day, but on this day, she pops-up (like toast) and this shocks Paul and Nancy chat about the day's activities. Short story here, this famous, rich couple dress in plain clothing as the Paparazzi, who camps outside their home, but today, Paul and the wife, Nancy Shevell, will fool them and walk to a village and just hang-out
I also wonder what Springstein, does during his day? Since he is also wealthy, he probably checks his investments to see if the stocks have risen or not. Since his group, Mothers of Invention are not jamming, he hums some of his new tunes and heads outside to spend some of his valuable "me time.". The information about McCartney and "The Boss" may not be completely correct, but I did take a few great stabs at the facts.\
The above rock icon's are the two famous folks that I chose to talk about. The remainder of my personal "I wonder" statements will be short and hopefully interesting.
A Few of The Things That I Wonder About . . .
I wonder what armadillo's do instead of committing armadillo-side on our nation's highways.
I wonder if Mick Jagger, leader of The Rolling Stones, likes to eat pizza once in a while?
I wonder what would have happened if The Stones had went over to Afghanistan instead of our Army and let the Mick and the boys do all of their classic tunes?
I wonder what I and a few of my HubPages friends would do if we made-up the Afghan audience and helped them to squeal at the Stones' "Satisfaction."
I wonder if President Joe Biden likes to read Henry, seen in the comics section of most daily newspapers?
I wonder if Biden ever has real bacon to go with his substitute eggs? Things like this bother me.
I wonder if anyone else but me, ever miss Robert Keeshan, Captain Kangaroo in the Treasure House each day? I really do miss these guys.
I wonder if I were to write a nice letter asking the Rockettes if I might join this famous dancing troupe? I would furnish my own clothes. I know that a southern guy (me) were to really dance with the Rockettes? I can imagine what names the southern guys where I live would say?
I wonder if Lucille Ball and the rest of her TV family were to visit my wife and I here in good ole Hamilton, Al.?
I wonder if the future holds a day when the TV will be surgically-placed in my head and let our brains watch the shows and give our eyes a rest?
I wonder why MTV that went on the air in Aug. 1, 1981, started playing few music video's and now only show video-films and reality shows? No music means no music entertainment.
I wonder when our free, strong, world-wide nations will stop telling each other false accusations and calling-up young, able-bodied men to take them for their army?
I wonder why an orange (fruit) was given its name and color, but a lemon's name is not yellow or sour? Neither in the watermelon and cantaloupe!
In closing . . .I wonder "if" this piece, which I think is pretty good, will be received by all of HubPages' editors and vote it (sometime) as an Editor's Choice, or tell some that they really liked it while eating lunch at an outdoor restaurant. Is that too much to ask?
. . . I wonder
July 18, 2021________________________________________________
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