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Get Her Back After Breaking Up

You just lost the girl you adore...

So you're miserable, alone, despondent, and while you may or may not have any idea why, all you know is you need to get her back.

Now what?

Of course, it all depends on the type of girl.

Personally I believe that it takes certain qualities and actions on the part of the "loser" to get the girl back. It's not much of a "how to" topic, but hopefully at least some of my pointers might end up being valuable pearls of wisdom, even if they're the cheap ones from the Goodwill like I like to wear.

As a girl who has been lost and found again, I can try to expose some of the things that my boyfriend did to get me back again.

“Broken Heart” by Kiomi via stock.xchng

“Broken Heart” by Kiomi via stock.xchng

First of all... how to cope

1. Find a support network.Find someone or something you can lean on as soon as possible. A best friend, favorite family member or even a pet will do. When your emotions are on high you need someone who can provide rational, objective, comforting support. 2. Find a favorite something.When you're down and you have no support network around, you can turn to favorite movies, songs, or places to keep you from slipping into depression. Make sure it's something happy that won't remind you of your ex.3. Find a positive anger release.So you're angry. Now is a good time to indulge in your favorite hobby: sports, singing, writing, walking, etc. Whatever your release, make sure it's positive and not a depressant like alcohol or drugs. You'll get over your hurt, but make sure you don't drag a bad habit along with it. 4. Remove yourself.When we break up with someone you may be curious as to what your ex is up to, about their personal life, and you may try to squeeze it out of friends and acquaintances in a frenzy. That won't help; you need time and space for yourself. Don't isolate yourself, but don't surround yourself with reminders of the past. 5. Move on. This sounds easier than it actually is, but in order to get over a bad break up it's essential you try and move on with your life. It takes time to completely get over someone, but the more you focus on your own life and develop your own friendship base the easier it will be to get over him. You don't have to erase them from your life completely, but don't become obsessed. You may get back together, but if you don't, you have to make sure your mind can move with the pace of life.

6. Get back to your lifeAfter you feel like you've taken enough time to gather your thoughts and emotions, don't be afraid to get back into the scene- dating, going out or whatever that may be. It's normal to feel the need for "alone time" right after a break up. Don't isolate yourself too long; get out when you're ready. It doesn't mean devaluing your previous relationship, but it's a way to distract yourself.

7. Keep your options open.

So you and your ex had some great times - maybe the best - but you have to leave room for others to fill in the gap potentially. There can be new great times. You may compare past lovers to new people in your life or build up a wall. And caution is a good thing sometimes, but this can be unhealthy. No one can replace your ex because they were a kind of special that can't just be erased (or else why would you feel this way?). But give new prospects a chance; they may be even better.

If you want to get back together...

Over time - three months is a good minimum, but it may take longer - you will start to come to some decision about whether to try and live together again. But don't make this decision just on the grounds that you feel romantic about each other again because you've been apart. The bottom line is that if you don't change things at a deeper level, when you get back together, things will be just the same as before.

If one or both of you decides for certain that there is no point in continuing the relationship, then part permanently. Don't drag things out by prolonging the separation. Get support to survive the break-up and start again.

If you decide to get back together, prepare for it. Talk openly about what has to be different, and how you are going to make it different. Talk too about what you have realised since you've been apart and how you have changed.

Don't move back in suddenly - spend increasing time together to get used to it. (And expect some shyness about being back together, particularly where sex is concerned: gentle lovemaking with low lights and lots of romance will help!)

And expect some setbacks! You won't just live happily ever after. So don't panic if you row or wobble again - it's not whether you have problems; it's how you cope with them that matters.

Once you are sure that your separation is over and your relationship is back on track, it's good to mark the occasion. Do whatever suits you: a celebratory weekend away; a memento ring; if you're married a small ceremony where you renew your vows - all of these will help you make a new start and look to the future. Good luck!

More on getting back together

So you and your ex have been talking again and you've been reminded of the good times, why you fell in love in the first place. The euphoria of just meeting and falling head over heels has returned. You then wonder what it would be like if you two were back together, forgetting all about the bad times. But have you resolved everything you needed to fix initially?

Getting back with your ex can be a great thing. But be careful that your rejuvenated relationship isn't tainted with a lack of communication.

1. Don't get overemotional.

A few minutes of mental discipline can mean years of emotional play. Like we discussed earlier, it's difficult to step back and think rationally when you open the positive lines of communication with your ex. No matter the good feelings, however, make sure you ask yourself if getting back together will be a positive thing.

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2. Fix what was wrong before.

Don't forget that something made you mad enough to break up! You or he may have regrets, but that's not enough to resolve any previous pet peeves or conflicts. You may have to physically list pros and cons. Try and draw out what contributions you feel each of you made to the failed relationship. Be sure to discuss these things with your ex and ask yourself: Have these issues really been resolved? Has he/she or I truly changed or can either of you live with the things you couldn't live with before?

3. Forget old standards.

A new relationship with your ex is just that- a new relationship. So, drop the previous dreams and expectations and start anew. You don't have to start from the beginning of man, but try and build a new life together and treat common goals and expectations as if they are new. There is still trust and a renewed friendship to be built.

Ultimately, the decision to get back with your ex has to lie with you; but it's important to make sure you don't fall into the same patterns, fights or routines that led you to the first breakup. Ask yourself honest questions followed by truthful answers, then openly discuss the feasibility of a new relationship with your ex.

“Lov” by catdesign via stock.xchng

“Lov” by catdesign via stock.xchng

Tips from a "lost" teenage girl

These are some tips from myself.

(Put a "some" in front of "girls" because, of course, these tips don't apply to everyone. I like to think females tend to have at least a few universal characteristics.)

1. Girls like the truth, for gosh sake.

The reason that my boyfriend and I broke up initially was because we were trying to do things that we thought the other wanted. We thought too much about things (it's possible, truly) and didn't do what we truly wanted to do. That made things awkward and artificial and hard to work with; things got too complicated and breaking up was a way to end it and start over... though we didn't know it at the time.

2. Make an effort to get her back.

Love can't stay away. So it's not good for a girl to come back for a guy because if it's really love, it'll come back itself. Make a phone call, e-mail, or any kind of contact and if you're really dedicated, whatever happened to cause the break-up won't mean a thing anymore.

3. Be willing to speak out.

Don't just be honest, but talk. Don't keep things quiet because that won't help things, only suppress them.

4. Get rid of your pride.

I am a firm believer in humility. I think that being proud only causes unnecessary anguish. Being able to let go of your dignity means a lot to a girl, like she means more than your image.

5. Don't let go of too much pride.

Don't be whipped into doing whatever she wants if she agrees to get back together. Don't let yourself go if you haven't gotten back with her yet. That's just sad.

6. Don't hang out with other girls.

So you don't want to look like a loser and be by yourself, but you are DEFINITELY not helping yourself if you look like you've moved on, even if you're really not.

But then if she's around other guys, maybe you'd want to back off yourself. She may just need her space.

7. Don't play games.

Don't try to lure her back. Don't pretend that you want her and then scorn her. Give the right signals.

8. Show that you care.

Look at old pictures and letters (but not longingly and pathetically). Remember your old anniversaries and her birthday and other important dates and details.

And if it's appropriate, don't be afraid to touch her.


zahara on June 06, 2012:

i don't want hm anymore what should i do

Craig on June 03, 2012:

okay.. so.. here goes my story. Lemme see if i can get it all in here. a few weeks ago i noticed my girlfriend of six years(and baby momma of 4 years) was .. becoming distant. so i started asking her what's wrong? are you okay? long day? you know.. stuff like that, trying to figure out what was up. after a week or two of that she finally told me she needed some space, and some time to think about her life, she felt like she was unhappy and she said she had been feeling this way for a couple months. so, i was all like.. are you serios? i thought we where doing great, everyone that knows us thought we were doing great. anyway, i kind of accused her of cheating because she started being all jumpy if she was on the phone and i walked in, and she was sitting outside for HOURS everyday after work "thinking". let me give you a little more detail here. like i said together for 6 years and we have a three year old little girl that neither of us can live without. like any couple we had our problems but it seemed we always work through them (for a while) but then they return a month or a year later. so, she has always talked about getting married for as long as i can remember.. and i had some old school loans and was in debt. i told her that was the reason we couldn't get married yet. but after i cleared all that up i would be more than happy to get married and spend the rest of my life with her. and we eventually got rid of the debt. so, we decided that we would move 5 hours away from everything we were used to and start a new life together, without any interference from our families. we move, i get back in school, baby girl gets to go to head start, the girlfriend gets a job. we were doing great (in my eyes) so.. she said something about a wedding like.. the colors or something and i said.. well.. that all sounds nice but.. what if we used this color? and i haven't heard anything about a wedding since. anyway, after our big falling out last week. we dealt with the custody situation had something notarized by the state. decided to let kiddo go visit family back home for a week or two to straighten all this out and her not have to see or hear any of it. so finally we get back home, i come back to the house we lived in and she goes and stays with her new friend. he is a guy but she swears to me that they are just friends and i really do believe her. (I may be an idiot for that.. but i believe her). she says she is confused about everything in her life and she just needs time to think. all of her things are still here even though i have offered to bring them to her and tried helping her figure out how to get them to her new place. she lets me talk about us but she doesn't say to much. i told her i feel like we have both bottled up so many little things over the years and didn't communicate as well as we should have. she agrees and says that she still loves me but she needs time to decide if she wants to still be with me. anyway..we are trying to be friends and she even told me that she may move back in as a room mate. or she may even come home. she just has to figure it out. so we finally got everything worked out, neither of us have to worry about baby girl, shes at a friends, im at home, kid is not around for a couple weeks. i was with her for a bit yesterday and she still seems distant but i feel like she can't really let go of me. we have been through SO much together and i am not just saying that we really have. i told her yesterday before she left i said okay... now that we have all of this worked out. you go find yourself and let me know what's up. she said okay i will call you in a few days or something. i said.. with some bad news or not. kind of as a joke. and her reply was im not sure and she sounded miserable when she said it. but i totally agree with her side of the story and i understand that this is what she feels like she has to do right now. and i told her its fine .. i don't agree with her moving in with a guy she met a month ago. but that is more so to do with my child. i understand she is a grown woman and can do as she pleases.. it is just mind blowing. what do you guys think? if you need more details i have no problem sharing them all . thanks

glassvisage (author) from Northern California on May 30, 2012:

Thank you all for coming by and for sharing your experiences! I wish you all the best - what happens is meant to be!

Mike on May 21, 2012:

Also, for note, I am a different Mike than the one a few posts up. This is my first post.

Mike on May 21, 2012:

Hmmmm... I think this advice has got me through the door, but now I fear doing the wrong thing...

She left me almost 5 months ago, after a 4.5 year relationship, with us living together by the end. She left because she didn't feel loved, or important enough, to a severe degree. While part of that is definitely my own difficulty with affection and showing emotion, another part is her own insecurities.

However, about 2 months ago she became friendly again. Since then we have hung out alone a few times, and even flirt a lot.

There was one night she invited me out for a drink at like midnight, but I had to decline because I had to get up real early for a job interview. But I asked for a rain check, and we could go anywhere she likes, and I would dress up with a shirt and tie. We also made plans for the zoo in the same week.

Yesterday we met up briefly, and she looked amazing. I don't even find other women attractive anymore, but I can't get the image of her out of my head. She makes me euphoric, and my brain doesn't function properly. I sent her a text saying how great she looked that day, and that she is hypnotizing.

She eventually responded that she didn't know how to respond, and hasn't texted or anything back since my response to that. Which was a casual, "Hmmm ok, it's ok I will just read your mind." Then asked about a new movie she just saw, but no response.

Whereas the last 3-4 days, she would text a lot.

I think I know what she is thinking... I am a possibility at this point. The fact that she would be excited about going somewhere dowtown, with me dressing up, tells me she has some interest... I just don't see anyone caring about someone dressing up otherwise... same with a day at the zoo... they both have the aura of dates all over them.

I think she definitely isn't ready to go down that road yet though, otherwise she would have responded better to my most recent comment of how good she looks. I have also made sure to comment her about how well she does at her job, and how smart she is, so it is not just physical comments going around.

But she stays pretty quiet about complimenting me in return. So she definitely doesn't want to "lead me on" when doesn't want me back.

But I think she is considering it... to some degree. And as long as I can keep us having fun together, feelings may re-develop.

I just don't want to go too far and push her away. I also am doing my best to make thigns feel new... trying to stay away from old inside jokes, or aything that may lead to a trip down negative-memory lane.

Not sure what advice I am looking for, I guess if my understanding of everything comes close to accurate...

Thanks for reading!

tpittman on April 16, 2012:

Very very helpful me and my ex gf broke up a month ago she and I still talk and recently I txted her for the first time since the break up we talked pretty much all day from 11 30 to 9 30 she said that her feelings ain't come back n that she wouldn't be able to get a bf anyway. Because she became busier. Since the break up reading this has givin me confidence that we could work out again but should I keep my hopes up. I also made her mad today and I found out that I do it daily n it could be the cause of our break up and I am working on ending those bad habits once I end them do u/y'all think there's a chance for a comeback.

Gregorious on April 13, 2012:

Wonderful article with very nice tips. Breaking up is always very emotional, but I think it's important to not get carried away.

louromano on March 22, 2012:

i broke up with my girl yesterday with a txt and feel very bad what should i do?

metro on March 19, 2012:

i need help badly is wats goin on in my life.

i was with a girl for 6yrs and we jus broke up over some stupid argument...reason is that im takin her for granted and she feel i thought she was the same girl (young) that i met 6yrs i accepted about the granted stuff n told her i'll work on that but she said her mind was made up so im like okay dats fine....She has a BFF who don't like me at all n she confines in this girl for almost everything...whenever we get into an argument she'll tell this girl and my guess is that this girl wont have nothin good to say to her bout me...i recently knew how bad this BFF was wen she told me how happy she was that the relationship is done..then i stated thinking y would u be so happy...i treated your friend rite, i was always there for her, i loved n cared for her n the BFF knows all these things. Now here is wat jus went on. eventho the BFF knows everything about our relationship my ex will tell me everything bout her personal life so because my ex will always defend her over me even wen i told my ex she was bad company n is jealous of u, my ex ignores anything say bout her. So i got upset, sent the nastiest txt one could send to ur Ex's BFF....i mean it was so nasty that i felt bad for ma Ex and i still do not because i still want my ex bac but i kno their friendship is ruined which deep inside is wat i wanted....the BFF forwarded the txt to my ex n my ex was furious as she could not believed her my ex thinks i betrayed her wen in the first place i felt betrayed by her...did i do the rite thing by txtin the BFF...wat might be goin on with my ex n BFF...will my ex ever trust me and will i ever get her bac....i need some thought and advice plsss

gaurav on March 17, 2012:

she took me wrong ... i gifted her a ring coz she liked jewellery bt she thought i had different intentions bt i swear i just gave tht as she is my bestest frnd ;((\(\\\\(((

mike on March 15, 2012:

her grandfather died and i was there by her side comforting her, out of no where she text me saying "i don't need her, i can make another girl happy, nobody can make her happy, she needs a break and thanks for everything i did for her and loving her no matter what... i text her back saying, sorry for your loss and wish you the best..... i didn't know what else to say, my heart feels ripped apart and i haven't heard from her in 2 weeks, i stopped contacting her since that text and she has not called me or text me, is she gone for good? i miss her so much, i want to call her but i feel like she should be the one to call me this time as i did nothing to hurt her but she infact did everything to hurt me

faruque on March 08, 2012:

i love her but she is very firm about her decision(as told to my friend whom i asked to talk to her casually).i can see her moist eyes when i was in tears talking to her.our relationship was of 5 years.......i proposed her first but she truly loved me.i made all mistakes of not picking calls etc.guys run away from girlfriend when they come up to them quite regularly.started taking for granted and now i really regret what i did to this pretty girl.i am trying to get her back....and will try from all corners of l8ife/means until i get her or i die

john on March 07, 2012:

hey ppl the one who want to continue the relationship hurts the most this one year no matter what ever she do i was humble and listening to what ever she says .......but that was a f...king mistake in my part she is not worth of my true love she hated and hurt-ed me a lot that she loved .................i cannot forget her god is willing that i should face this all long yes she is my classmate it hurts she is concentrating good in her studied i am going down thinking about her how she could change like nothing had ever happened ..........oh my god this is the most pain i have ever faced she is like necessary evil for me but i don't want to get hurt any more give some tips to get over her

wis h on March 05, 2012:

pain of luv can't be ended.

Jonathan on February 26, 2012:

My wife and I were together 3 years and took care of everything until I lost my job. She then had to find work and that is when everything started messing up for us. The lies, the Facebook hiding, the texting to other men, the manipulation, the hitting, the yelling, the fighting, and then one day she said she was moving out. We worked on things for some time and I thought we were going to get back together for a second there but then she tells me after all the help I was giving to her that I knew it was over a long time ago. I don't know why I still love this woman after all she has done to me? I tend to believe that it is the promise I made to her when we got married. For better or worse until death do you part. Well it has been 7 months and each time we see each other its fights and arguments. I have a lot of insecurity stemming from all the lies and broken trust she brought upon me. But for the life of me I can not let her go though I want to. I battle with my self daily thinking of her with another man around our son and some other man filling my role. I was a good man to her but I do have my faults like anger and depression mostly due to all the hurt and betrayal. She likes to get attention and loves to put me down in front of her family and yesterday I went to help her with the party of my two step daughters (daughters she had with two different men before the marriage) and she swore at me real loud while her family was there I asked her why are you swearing at me she said I can do what the f I like. She blames me controlling her and many other things but everything she blames me for it is her doing them. Its strange because she makes me believe that I am the one at fault when I know it is her doing them. Anyway if I was controlling would I have let her work at a night club? She would borrow money from men not just a small amount but $1500.00 example and tell me that he was just a friend she did this with two people. Tell me who would stick with a woman after that or have trust for that person when one of the men she borrowed from she was secretly Facebook messaging. I still stuck by her side knowing she may have cheated on me. She even told me one time that she could go see her ex and knows I would be there when she got back. Tonight is one of the first nights I decided not to call. It hurts but it is what I must do to move on. We have a son together but I can not let him see another argument or his mom doing what she does to me. I will call again when I get over her and fix me. Am I wrong for doing this? She has messed up my mind so bad to the point of me almost not knowing who I am anymore. Please help. Some good advice would be very helpful. I have not explained all that went on in our marriage because there is too much hurt there. Thanks.

Dave on February 22, 2012:

this is what i am going through, i need help

I have been in love with this girl since the first day i met her. She was the most amazing person i have never met and i did everything i needed to impress her for the last couple years. But even with all the love i have for her, i had my problems 3 years seeking attention from other girls, not that i never slept with any of these girls it was just i needed more attention, because i felt so bad about myself and needed to be cheered up. that is one of the problems that i have been putting her through the last couple years, and when she found out that i was doing it, i would just lie about it. Lying was just an easier way not to hurt her, i know that i did wrong and it wasn’t how i wanted to treat, but still made the situtation worse. She would just keep giving me chances and i would just keep messing it up. I have loved her with all my heart, but this plagued her for a while until i decided to get help and see a therapist to help me with my problems. I wanted to be so prefect for her. give her the world. She means so much too me. Well this didn’t last, She went to New york a weekend before her bday, and she left me her car to use for work. Well i took her car to the bar, and on my way home i got into a car accident. She then decided that she wanted to end it, saying that i disrespect her and i didn't car about her feelings. Now this is where it gets even worse. I didn’t handle this the best, I kept trying to call her or text her over the weekend to talk about it, getting her mad with me, and not handling the situation the best with her. Well when she came back home, i tried talking to her, but she said that she didn’t want to hear it. That we are done, and that i am just trying to get another chance from her. Well i didn’t handle this the best, i couldn’t eat or sleep, for like 4 days. Well when i did try to eat something, i feel asleep making boiling noodles and the flame on the burner went out, and i was there for like 3 hours with the gas running. Well she took me to the er, and left me there, saying that i was trying to kill myself and that is was just for attention. Well after that, her dad drove up to our apartment and said that i was a danger to myself and that i would hurt his daughter. Well jump to the weekend, I came home from work and she was going out, She was getting all dolled up and i noticed that there were condoms missing from upstairs. I made the wrong judgement thinking that she was going out to hook up with guys. I then went upstairs and cried for 30 minutes. While this is all going i have had been talking to a good friend, i knew he had been talking to her too, so i confronted him about talking to her and he said that he hasn’t been talking to her. THis was a good friend and i was respected what he had to say until i found out he was lying to me. He has been going to divorce and i so i decided to talk to his wife, and found out that he has been lying to me and has lied to me about everything. So he then texts my ex and says that i told his wife that my ex and him have been fucking. He is a monster and lies to everyone, just getting his needs.Now he is lying to her and turning her against me, I don’t know how to get her to realize that he is lying to her. He is using her weakness right now to gain her trust and get a shot with her. I am moving out of the apartment, getting my own place. I was wondering if anyone thinks i still have a chance of a future with her. She just doesn’t want to keep being hurt and have to keep hearing excuses to why i am the way i am . Please some body help me.

doc on January 22, 2012:

i was with my girlfriend for 6 months, we connected really well the problem was she felt guilty having a relationship with another female like me. her Faith dictates that what she is doing is wrong. if she feels guilty about it, why did she do it in the first place? it's not like this was her first time because it wasn't. i just don't get it. now we are apart and miserable

Dora on January 21, 2012:

I totally agree with everything in this article. i really impressed

Craig on January 19, 2012:

HI! Never posted on a forum but turn to the net for advice on regular basis. Fantastic people can share their experiences and help strangers.

I am 32 years of age and met the woman of my dreams(33). Everything was perfect, she met my family very early, I met hers and we both get along well with them. Our interests are so similar, I have never met anyone who enjoys the same things I do. She even plays golf and plays well. Having said that there are enough differences to make things interesting.

She was single for about 5 years before we met. It really was a love at first sight relationship. I was the one who attempted to move slow but she told me that she had finally met the one, that she has never felt like this about anyone, not even her ex of five years and that she loves me. Everything was fantastic (on both sides) then out of nowhere we had our first argument. It was a misunderstanding on her part but she ran with it (silly matter about me wanting to be around her all the time).

See we work different hours, so would see each other maybe once midweek and Saturday and Sunday. Then she had leave from work and I had some time off so we spent most days together. This is where #1 comes into it "girls like the truth" I was always honest but I was doing things I thought she wanted me to do and because she did not communicate she ended up feeling smothered. She was use to having her leave to herself, she plans what she is going to do around house etc etc. but because this time I was there all the time, i think she freaked out and pulled the trigger.

The thing is I was making an effort to see her all the time because that is what I thought she wanted, i was off work and i thought she wanted us to make the most of the time we had before we both went back to work.

When she broke up, she said something like her personality is stronger and that i am too mentally fragile for her strong personality. SO NOT true, I was so strong, i comforted her while she sobbed and broke it off with me. I was telling her that it will all be ok and not too worry. I could see in her eyes that she didn't want to do it but she is stubborn, had a feeling, had come to my place to do it, so was sticking with it. she kept hugging me and kissing me and left in tears. I remained calm and decided to have no contact, to give her space and see what happens.

The thing is she has messaged me everyday, including the day she left my place. I kept it light and at no point begged her to come back or told her I was hurting etc. there was even some flirting in messages etc. and she would contact to see how I am, how I went at golf, let me know something she has done etc etc. All this led me to believe that she just needed break to see what she had.

Two days ago she invited me to her house (first physical contact in two weeks), had present from xmas she hadn't given yet and said come for drink and watch some tv etc.

It was on this night that she confirmed her decision to not be together and didn't want to give me any hope that we ever would be. I told her to not message me for a while, so she can have some time to herself. she messaged later that night and then the next day, saying sorry i know i am not suppose to etc but confirmed seeing single status on facebook really did hurt ( i changed when I left her place). she then said i hope you cracked it at golf.

I am so confused, I want to be with her, I believe deep down she does with me and I cant enforce no contact because she contacts me and I do not want to ignore.

If anyone managed to read all that and you have been through same thing, I would love to hear from you.

SanXuary on January 12, 2012:

Sometimes people just need to find out how good they had it by finding someone worst. Others just need to grow up and be proactive in the tough spots and most of all get passed being selfish. When both people are selfish and trust is lost you need a big break or you need to hang it up.

glassvisage (author) from Northern California on January 12, 2012:

I think it does help a lot even just to vent. Sometimes there is little else you can do, since the only person whose actions and thoughts you can control are your own. You should try to live your life - what is meant to be will happen.

losing my mind on January 11, 2012:

I just lost my girl of 7 years, she wasn't just my girl but my best and only real friend. I had a lot of friends but grew up and just didn't have much in common with my friends anymore. It was just me and her. She has had friends that were fake and I was always there for her. So I don't have a job, she does. She recently lied to me about talking to a guy and when I caught her lie she could of left my house, went to work, and never came back, but she did. Then she told me how she didn't want to hurt me, loved me, and didn't want to lose me. That guy was just giving her attention she said I didn't show her recently. Just boosting her lack of confidence. So we made up spent the next three days together and she went to work the following Monday, and broke up with me on Wed. I am now alone and lost the love of my life and my best friend. She wont talk to me, she wont text me. She just put me on the biggest roller coaster ride of emotions and its crazy. I don't know what to do. Can't eat, can't sleep, all i think about is her. She has "friends" that she can turn to, I'm a guy even if I have a couple friends none of them want to deal with my emotions. Its a little helpful just typing this. I have been talking to basically myself in texts to her. It says in the article to show her you love her and make an effort to get her back, I tried everything and she wont give me anything. My best friend for 7 years and she wouldn't care if I didn't exist anymore.

anas javed on January 08, 2012:


thnx for gving me ths kind of advice...:)

sadspiltheart123 on January 06, 2012:

my heart was spilt from the girl i loved i was at school when she was hanging with this guy i don't like hes a bitch i seen him kiss her on the cheak and they were with each other every day i came to her when he left i said to her why are you hanging out with this guy and she said i love him i said you love me and left i spyed on them every day they never saw me when it was winter break i was in bed all day every crying and now im here telling you all what has broke my heart

bob on January 01, 2012:

6. Get back to your life

After you feel like you've taken enough time to gather your thoughts and emotions, don't be afraid to get back into the scene- dating.

I don't know how this would be fair to the person you're dating or the person you want to get back together with.Please explain.Dating someone else is the last thing id want to do based on the emotions i feel for this girl.

mike hunt on December 28, 2011:

I was dating this woman 4 6 months i love her very much i didn't expect 2 fall in love mmy jealousy got the best of me she has 4 beautiful boys she's been seperated from her x 4 7 years he all the sudden wants her back she left me a week ago 2 b back with him all she told me that her boys need a dad b4 it 2 late i asktold her i lobe her 2 much 2 let her just walk out of my life sheshe told me 2 kick rock so woman i ask. Would u go back 2 ur x afyer 10 yrs of abuse n cheating having children with other.woman would u really take ur x back some1 plz answer I'm in limbo

mondy on December 26, 2011:

oops, that's great

Scrappy on December 26, 2011:

Thumbs up lads for staying dry, been almost 4 month for me, lol took me 6 months after breaking up to realise the trap i was in and that the drink had me hook, line and sinker.

I was drinking,smoking every night, Playing WOW, staying up to late, working to much. Maybe this is why she left.

So i quit smoking/drinking and took up: singing lessons, musical theatre, sailing, running, rock climbing, work less, choir, and dateing where i have time.

My point: Instead of looking for a lover, be someone someones looking for.("Beccy Cole")

If she doesn't come back i'll be on the right track to being relationship ready, if she does i will be back to the guy she fell in love with in the first place, just need to stay sober so not to repeat history.

May the force be with you..

tralala men on December 22, 2011:

i am gona use this on the womwn i love with all my heart

Andy on December 17, 2011:

The problem in deciding whether a relationship is worth it or not. Getting used to someone and being around each other but on the other hand not knowing if you really in-love or in-love but not realizing it right now. Maybe this will become clearer with time. I hope.

luke on December 16, 2011:

i have gone out with my girlfriend for 2 years and all she wanted was space so i admit i was a bit clingy and wanted to know why she wanted space! so she got even madder when i talked to people on what i should do i told her i woul dgive her her space and she ended up getting really mad and said im over it! and now she wont talk or anything! if she still loves me is there hope if i give her time?

Manny on December 11, 2011:

Thanks for all the advice and experiences from all of you. My case is similar to some of you. Married for 4 years, 6 years together, 2 kids, last one is only 3 months old. We had an argument due to miscommunication, I wanted her to go out to buy clothes with money I have made that day ($500) and she though I wanted her out of my way so I can work. I got pissed because she accusing me of something I was not doing and raised my voice and broke a child's plastic chair, did not touch her but scared here and my 3 years old kid. she left saying this is the only way to save our marriage.

One week later she told me no, she though about it and it is definitive, her love has fade, and even sent me a lawyer's letter asking for all my financials and to sell our house.

I did the little silly things out of desperation and wanted to save my family, text her, email her, phone her. Yesterday she said, I am feeling harassed, stop. So I decided to stop and only call her once a day to talk to my kids and will not talk to her at all, give her space to heal and think things without pressure.

We are both business owners, professionals, 2 kids, and our in laws love us on both sides. I can not believe after loving someone you said you do not love them anymore, I would accept a "I am upset, I hate you, you bother me, but I love you" instead is the I do not love you anymore that is hard to believe. I am very committed to my marriage and will never leave my wife for anything, but looks like she is not and says I broke her trust and can not trust me and does not want to live with me thinking when is the day I will do something worst (which I will never do).

I am seeing a phycologist to fix my anger issues and realize what I have done wrong and working on fixing all of them. I am ready to give her my best version of me, but is it too late? I hope having 2 kids will make it hard for her to give up on all of us. I want to save my marriage because I know I can be better and it was due to anger on being accused of something I was not doing, misscomunication is the root cause and that can be fixed.

Rocco on December 09, 2011:

I can't sleep either to top it all off but I'm also going to the gym/ playings hockey/ going out and it means nothing to me

Rocco on December 09, 2011:

I'm in the exact position as everyone I was with her for 3 years gave her not only the best but was there at all time when she lost her pop pop we went to 3-4 vacations together we hiked the the east coast mountains. We were like best friends and she used to tell me how happy she was and how she wants to spend forever with me. She used to also have anxiety problems and would always give me problems about me going out and having to know my exact more every min and called me 30 times and cried herself to sleep. She would also cause alot of drama by crying or just not being able to drink because she drank on medication. She turned her problem into mine and eventually said that she couldn't do it anymore we broke up and I changed completely I took her out with me and didn't drink. Then things got super again with her writing me love notes and begging me to be with her on thanksgiving. Then she turned said she wanted space and didn't want to speak or see me again. Every time I tried talking to her she treated me like I was hurting her. She said that she faked being awesome with me last month because she tried to get her feelings back . Now its like I was her rock when everything bad was happening with her friends, parents work and school and now I'm like the devil. Its like she is telling herself she cant be with me and now I'm finally giving her space and she puts things on facebook about being happy single and stupid immature stuff. I know she is talking to other guys because she has to cover up what she did with me which was talk to her everyday. The girl even moved her stuff into my house at a point we did everything together and now its like completely opposite. I don't know what I can do I don't want to make her jealous because that's not me..I'm a classy guy but I don't get why I went from her best friend to nothing at all and wants "time". But in time she is talking to other guys I don't get what she is doing but hiding herself from me. I don't get how for 4 years you say your the greatest ask to spend weekends with me and do everything together to wanting no contact or speaking. She said she would like to be friends but nothing more. Which makes no sense to me because she was my best friend so pretty much she wants to talk to other guys and still be my friend. Once we broke up she also asked me who I hooked up with and who I was rebounding with because she didn't believe I can be single then it just ugly to the point where she said to just leave her alone. Its like she has alot of feelings for me but will keep telling herself that she doesn't see a future with me out of the blue. WHAT DO I DO??!@#! She is so set on being single now and doing whatver she wants but she was always able to I was never like that to her. Its completely different Im not exaggerating any of this

John H on December 09, 2011:

My girlfriend of 3 yrs broke up with me 4 days ago. I’m from the UK and she’s from China. We met in England and she subsequently went back to China because she missed her culture and family. We tried the Long distance relationship for 1 year, she had previously asked me to move to China to be with her but I was reluctant because I would only be able to get English teaching jobs which would kill my career, and I would only make a fraction of what I could in the UK and therefore if things didn’t work out I would be destroyed financially. I tried to convince her to come back to England because she could get a well paying job and we could have a good quality of life but she refused to move. The relationship has slowly been falling apart over the last few months. Finally she emailed me to tell me she didn’t see any future for us and she didn’t love me as a boyfriend anymore but wanted to stay friends. I was obviously very sad as I still have strong feeling for her and I love her dearly but I understood her reasons. I replied to the emailing saying I understood her decision and cherished every moment we had together and also wanted to remain friends.

Having since been looking through photographs and letter she wrote to me I realise I miss her terribly and feel I have lost someone very special. I really don’t want to regret not fighting to keep her and I’m considering calling her and saying I’ll move to China to be with her, I’m worried my a u-turn so close to break up will push her away and I’ll lose her and her respect. Any advice?

LoganBluesky on November 24, 2011:

I met a beautiful young woman 5 years ago, and felt an immediate connection with her, and she with me. We were both working on an event out of town. We flirted, but I was quite shy about initiating anything, and we hung out a lot for a week. After the convention, she told me to visit her if I'm ever in Baltimore. 6 months later, I called her and she had a boyfriend by then.

Well, I kept in touch periodically with her, and dated other people, because I felt something very strong for her. She eventually invited me to visit her in New York, where she was living, and I did see her. We hit it off right away, and started texting quite a lot. She wanted to take it slow at first, since she had recently broken up with her boyfriend. I flew back and forth to see her, and after about 5 months, things grew very intense and became quite beautiful. We took trips to Canada, and a bunch of other places, and would see each other once a month or so, and sent the most amazing text messages to each other. Love poetry, really. This continued for about a year and a half, but I grew a bit frustrated by the distance and being the one always flying to see her.

I saw her last in August and we had the most amazing time ever. We had been talking of a future together, she wanted me to move to where she will go to grad school, and spending life together. I felt I had truly found my soul mate, and we were both completely excited in each others' presence. The sex was amazing, she thought I was hilarious, the conversations intelligent and lasted all night, and we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. Two weeks after our last visit, she called me at 2 am, very stressed out and said she couldn't see me any more.

She gave a bunch of different reasons, the distance (I told her I would move, and she didn't believe me) working so much, not feeling like she has time for me. When I pressed her, saying "we have a great time together, and I miss you and you miss me, and everything fits, so why break up?" She said I was making sense, and didn't really have a good reason.

She said she may feel different in a couple of months, and we could be friends.

I wanted to talk to her again about it all, and she agreed to, but I was so devastated by her call, that I could only manage a text to her about a week later, and tried to pull back and give her space but still let her know I wanted it to continue, and to call me if she felt like it.

Well, it's 2 months later, and I have heard nothing from her. I text her maybe once every two weeks, and have even moved to New York, telling her I'm here and I'd love to see her. But nothing. I've been a complete wreck, but haven't let her know that in my messaging, and only talk about positive things. It hurts me so incredibly much, as I feel she still loves and I would do anything to get her back. I really have no idea what to do, but at the least would love to be friends with her. The thought of never knowing her again is actually too much to face. I know by things she's said, that I'm the best guy she's ever dated, but she is still messed up from her previous relationships. I would appreciate any advice.

chris on November 24, 2011:

yes! this article really help me.

Savage09 on November 20, 2011:

I messed up big time... me and my girlfriend was together for 1 year and 6 months. In the duration of the relationship I was caught tryin to talk to 6 different females but we wasn't talkin about sex or anything we were just talkin about friendly stuff. But with the last one I was caught saying a flirtaous comment. well we have broken up before but only for a day, but this time weve been broken up for 1 month and now I feel like killing myself because I hate this life without her. We can talk on the phone but when we see each other its a different story because she seems to remember why she left me. And she starts pushing me away. Does anyone have any advice for me of how I can earn her trust back and get back with her.

Prokash konwar on November 20, 2011:

It was good.n was also cro$sed by such frnd handle the prblm nicely.

Alison on November 11, 2011:


I am so in love with my partner but we broke up 7 weeks ago. We were together for 2 wonderful years but he has an ex wife and no kids (she never left us alone) and he has a mother from hell, who constantly reminded him everyday of the evil he done to his wife by leaving her even although the marriage wasn’t working and he was happy with me. We would have great times for a bit then something would happen that reminded him of his baggage, we would row, he would break up with me, try to shift all the blame on to me, then within days his car would be parked outside the wifes house! This has happened several times but then he always comes back to me, saying he missed me too much. I took him back each time because I loved him. Now this time, he has done the same again, but not come back and made no contact. I have done silly things like sending texts saying he needs to return something of mine and he has responded but never gives away any information. It is so painful, I feel like our two years has been a lie and cannot come to terms with the fact that maybe it was her he wanted all along? p.s. we were in the process of buying a house and I feel so stupid for not seeing this coming. How can a man swing from one women to another like that? Surely it must be rebound? Please offer me advice.

Alfie on November 06, 2011:

Need some advise, My lady left me leaving me a note saying hope I find the women of me dreams not to contact her or look for her. I'm not going to go into the details of our relationship which was for 8 months.Coming home after work to see all her things gone is quite devastating. So Being heart broken I couldn't help text her which she has replied many times. Now in her texts she has said she "wants her space to find a sense of self" I have asked if there is any chance and she has said "not now, later I don't know" She has sent me a few texts after a day or so from me not sending any to hi what are you doing? Yesterday she text me saying "how was your day" so again I start tellig her how much I love her and am so deeply in love with her and that the circumstances we were in played a big role in our break up and the pros and cons I have the pros are far bigger and so on and that 2 nights before she left whilst I was at work she sends me a text saying "good night my love" it really hurst!!!!!! We had even spoken about marriage. Anyway yesterdays text I said "darling if I have lost you forever pls tell me, pls truly tell me if I have lost you forever? she responds by saying "cant answer that. Life takes many unexpected turns. Pls be patient" what does this mean from a womens perspective????? I replied "ok sweetheart I will be patient" and have left it at that.

bohannon on November 03, 2011:

love it this article is awesome it has made me think

smith on October 29, 2011:

wat about begging behind gals go they like it or not like begging in the sense apologizing for the mistake etc.......

Craig on October 29, 2011:

Lostone, I cannot agree more. I had a relationship with a girl and after a short while I moved in with her, it was great, and we both said we loved one another. Things went wrong mainly due to our working paterns, and we ended up splitting up. (yes I loved her and couldn't imagine life without her).

I moved on (changed my number and deleted hers), but everyone I met I couldn't help but compare to her, and no one was good enough or made me anywhere near as happy as she did.

My phone broke so I got a replacement (this is about a year and a half after we split up), when I copied my saved numbers from my PC, hers was there - I was torn, didn't know if to call/text her because all the feelings came back as if we had literally just split up. So I sent a text 'hey, how are you doing. I hope your well and the family is ok. x' after a few messages and a phone call, we ended up going to the cinema, where she declared that she had met someone else but it didn't work out because she missed me that much and loved me......

Were back together, and happier than ever, and we are looking towards a happy future together. She is definitely mine.

Great and informative hub. Well done.

glassvisage (author) from Northern California on October 29, 2011:

Lostone, great advice - I agree. Thatpinoyguy, I think it's okay to tell her how you feel, but don't have too high of expectations. I personally wouldn't send a text. To be honest, I went to college and though I dated my boyfriend for two years, I basically fell out of love with him. When you're young, you can take the opportunity to explore what's out there.

Lostone on October 28, 2011:

I just wanna share this experience. I think most of the ppl feeling lost when they are losing someone, i was lost too. I made a wrong decision and i lost the person that I love and loved me so much. I've tried everything to get him back but not working and still hoping will get back together someday, but a dream it's just a dream. Just move on with your life and hope for the best.


Thatpinoyguy on October 28, 2011:

Hi I was wondering if I could get some advice with a long distance relationship. We broke up about 4 days from today, and I miss her sooooo much and I love her soooo much that I want her back. When she broke up with me she said she "started" liking another guy, but somehow I think that it has been longer that she liked him. They go to the same school and we live 45 min. apart. But for 2 years I lived in Japan and she lived in Cali, and we would talk everyday and night and our love for each other was sooooo strong. Then when she breaks up with me she says that she lost her feelings and "fell out of love" I am talking to all my friends and they all said the same thing, just be positive and give her space. I really want her back. Anothing thing, I'm turning 18 in about 2-3 weeks and I want her to go to my little get together I'm having. I was thinking that I should tell her how i feel then. Do you think that's enough time for space? and do you think that we still have hope together? I mean we've loved each other for so long, I'm not going to let this go. Oh and do you think it would be alright if I just send her a text now and then asking how she is, you know just to show her that I still care? Cause some of my friends are saying i shouldn't even do that and just stop talking to her at all. Sooo please, please, please, help me, like I said, I love her soooo much I cannot let her go.

Dan on October 26, 2011:

I've known my girl for 2 yrs and we started going out 4 months ago. (Long distance but frequent visits) Everything was going great and one morning she called me and freaked out cuz we stayed up late talking and fell asleep so she didn't study for her mba midterm. (she also going to work) She said this isn't going to work and don't come next weekend to visit me. I didn't want to say I don't want to talk to her now and am hurt so I said I was at work and would call her in a few. She called me on my bluff and need her space and time up with me for the white lie. A few days later she contacted me and we made up. After two days, she then she said I need to know why you lied. I told her why and she broke up with me. I gave her her space and she even called me a week or two after and we just chit chatted for a few minutes. It's been a three weeks and we haven't been in communication. Should I ask her to meet, fly down and just tell her how I feel, what I want and hope we can start a new? Or should I keep my distance and let her come to me? So confused and heart broken....


shane9 on October 21, 2011:

i didn't have a job and i had a moody stage where i lost 3 relatives bout 3 yr ago and started to get over it aafter bout a yr but felt she wasn't there I had the girl of my dreams,handsome 4 yr old son.i joined facebook and she came home and told me to get out and she just says there no hope for future but that not good enough for me, i feel like taking job in central europe but it's my boy.:{{{{ sad so,so,sad

john on October 20, 2011:

the fact is she did not she is a kind of gal who not much speak with boys other than me ............i know it personally she dosent have any boy friend amazon ...

Amazon on October 19, 2011:

John its quite simple and straight forward ,she got another guy who loves her more than u lo8es her more than u

john... on October 19, 2011:

wat to do when a lover says "we are just friends now and i don't love u like i loved u before " ??

can i get back her

#... on October 19, 2011:

@ rosa every thing happens in a relationship ......if u like his char and him just move on with ur relationship .......or if u have doubt that he need the physical u not the real u wait ......think proceed ...........keep it simple rosa

Rosa on October 19, 2011:

I'm a girl who is in relationship since last one and a half boy loves me too much and never forced to do anything which is against my will......he has given me space......he says he loves me and trust me..........and is blindly in love.... but a few days back when we were talking,he asked me weird question like "he wants me to explain to him meaning of Sex"......i mean i do not like that part,it hurt me more like anything..........i became so angry at him.....and he changed it by saying he loves me and trust me.....and so want to get more personal.....please friends i request you to tell me,whether this all exists in a true relation or not...because i do not like these kind of talks at all...please help me in knowing ....does these talks exists in a relationship or not.

jade on October 18, 2011: was introduced to me by my friend Nicki after a big breakup between me and my ex i was so depressed so i contacted this man as directed by my friend and i tell him my problem and i was guaranteed with four days to get my result and guest what the great miracle fell on me the forth day and truly he came knocking on my door.and beg for forgiveness even when i cost everything. i am so happy

sarasotadui from Florida, USA on October 18, 2011:

Nice tips for someone who is still inlove with their exes. I like it.. Hope guys will find time reading this hub to recover their just broken love relationship.

smith on October 17, 2011:

she speaks with me normally,like not that close as early days .....if i talk the topic like ,about my feelings she tells ok i will hang up ,she hurts me a lot now a days which she never used to do earlier dude.....after hurting she come back to me speaks with me ............its going on like this for past 3 months dude .........she acts like she needs me but u i wont be loving to u like that ......fully confused .......i will try getting back myself that's all can be done ....thanks dude for ur wishes

Danial on October 17, 2011:

Smith,see this is bit hurting to tell u,but sorry friend she don't love you,if she thinks u as irritator,my friend take my advice if you want,just let her go and keep yourself busy with some other things,like read some books, or anything but don't let your brain think about her,and do one thing,however it is weird to say,but i'll suggest do abuse her,and hate her,so that the girl who is waiting somewhere out there,who is in need of you,can meet let things move on and start a new life today,thank best wishes are always with you

junkee freck yogen on October 17, 2011:

i love this n .................

#... on October 17, 2011:

dude ur situation sound odd and embarrassing .........

if u get chance try to act normal be caring show u need her .........give ur best short if nothing turns up she did not understand u that is the fact one day she will realize it ......accept the fact i know its hard ....time will give u the best answer try diverting ur mind in some thing else go on big world is there ........

mayank on October 16, 2011:

I am a simple guy. My girlfriend and i were in a relation since last three years. now she has got opportunity to take higher education in a different country. she has left from here a month ago. she has fascinated by foreign culture there. she used to be crazy about her ambitions. she met with a guy from my country in her university four days before. he is highly talented. she got attracted to him and used to fight with me. she broke with me in two days. She says that the guy has proposed her for marriage the next day and she said yes. she has left me for him. they are in a relation now and the decision was really hasty. she never ever calls me to see how i am nor she wanted me in her life back. the guy is talented than me. but only due to convenience their relation happened. i am so far from her to convince her. she hates me now for unknown reason. she avoids talking to me. but still i know that she is not in love with her, she is attractedto him. i want her back. i cant travel to her country. what to do.

please help me guys. I am under extreme depression. I want her back. I want to make her understand the things nicely.

smith on October 16, 2011:

i really don't know how could a women love some one so much make him speak every thing .....and hate him like no one in his life hated or hurt ed that much .....very complicated to know them..............???

smith on October 16, 2011:

s she knows me very well danni ,i told her how bad i felt how bad am missing her but she gets irritated if i speak like that , she never acepts her mistakes that she does very stubborn gal she is we where very loving .. the thing is she is no more like u said i will try to control my self for the period u said and hope for the best...

Aceblogs from India on October 15, 2011:

Did it all , but still things did not work out :) So now i feel that it is better to realise the fact that yes it is over and the better you understand that its good for you. So one should move and try not to repeat the mistakes in future

Danial on October 14, 2011:

Smith you have to talk to her about how you are feeling,and tell her directly you love her,if she did not respect your feelings then do one thing let her live as the way she wishes,give her space,so that she can realize whether she is in love with you or not and most important you got to controll your emos for a short period of time ,for about a month,then see how things change,its my best advice,and things will be again same,just have patience and good luck ahead

smith on October 14, 2011:

more over she is my class mate too ..

even when i try to get back to my work she is in class and students ragging i am really in hell don't know how to forget ....don't know i really mean some thing to her ..?? could some one help me in getting some tip

smith on October 14, 2011:

hello friends can some one help me ,she left me for some reason she is now talking to me as if she is doing it to 3rd person i cant take it any more .....she is not accepting my apologies too .........i don't know wat to do at the end of the day wat left for me is scoldings , anger ,hate no love with her .......i cannot leave her also i don't know wat to do ???

argo on October 13, 2011:

Me and my girlfriend are back together and happier than ever. the spell the spell caster i met on-line did for me worked perfectly, i think he has done another good job. You can also reach him on


Kaina on October 13, 2011:

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to thank a spell saviour for casting your send my True Love Love Spell. I demanded it from a spell caster i met on-line last week and I have been getting asked out a lot lately! They are all good suitors for me, but I have to tell you I finally chose 1 guy to settle down with. He is perfect for me! We have the best time when we are together. He is all I ever dreamed of. I cant thank the spell caster enough for all the happiness he have brought to my life! I will let everyone know about him, his eamil is, he is very sincere.

Joseph on October 13, 2011:

U need to talk to him about your feelings directly,if he loves you he will respect and if you found him not interested than time to say good bye and start a new life :)

Jane on October 13, 2011:

Hello get a life people if someone dumps you it's because they just don't fancy you enough. It's is that simple. let it go and move on

Sana on October 13, 2011:

I have boyfriend of 2 months,we are in a long distance relationship,we haven't seen each other in these 2 months,two weeks ago we decided to meet ,we met and he called and said he loves me,after some time we decided to meet again,on this particular day i was not looking very good,but not bad also,but his gestures hurt me,his eyes were telling he don't like me,and i told him i'm going,so i left him,after reaching home i texted him,we are better in friendship than in relationship,however i didn't mean what ever i write,i was just checking his reply,and he replied okay,and then i felt hurt,and wanted to meet him and talk 2 him badly,i made an excuse like i want to give him something,but he answered he is busy and cannot come,i was so hurt,i apologized for my mistake even he said its okay,but he was not talking nicely with me,and then i got angry and blocked him,and as i do so,i grow mad,i felt pain in my heart,and i wanted to talk to him anyhow,and it was the morning time,and he was going back to his home,i called him 4 times but he didn't picked and then after some time,he called me himself,this time i didn't picked but then after 2 mints i called him back,he told me he is at airport and is leaving,i was filled with tears,but i some how managed to get hold on them,and i told him to call me when he reach his home,he said he will,and told me to cheer up,but his call didn't came,its 2 days since he left and still no call,can u please tell me whether he loves me or not? As i dont have any idea,what is on his mind,please help me

mayank on October 13, 2011:

I am a simple guy. My girlfriend and i were in a relation since last three years. now she has got opportunity to take higher education in a different country. she has left from here a month ago. she has fascinated by foreign culture there. she used to be crazy about her ambitions. she met with a guy from my country in her university four days before. he is highly talented. she got attracted to him and used to fight with me. she broke with me in two days. She says that the guy has proposed her for marriage the next day and she said yes. she has left me for him. they are in a relation now and the decision was really hasty. she never ever calls me to see how i am nor she wanted me in her life back. the guy is talented than me. but only due to convenience their relation happened. i am so far from her to convince her. she hates me now for unknown reason. she avoids talking to me. but still i know that she is not in love with her, she is attractedto him. i want her back. i cant travel to her country. what to do.

abhishek on October 08, 2011:

not only realistic but is more worth.

saving relation is divine work.

apologetics on October 05, 2011:

Quite interesting article.

Brianna on September 29, 2011:

this spell caster is amazing and his spell worked very well for me. I hope to work with him again in the near future.

aung on September 28, 2011:

can anyone help me with issue that I hited my by accident

and she called cop and also children aid involed because i have 3 kids i love my wife so much and i love my kids do you thinks me and my wife back together again. I want to go back to her now she is very mad at me. my email please help

to billy on September 28, 2011:

I'm so sorry she is with another man after 14 years and it only being a month apart...........sad day. i seriously will try and send good vibes your way in hopes you get through this faster. really sorry to hear about your situation.

billy on September 25, 2011:

i don't want anyone else in my life apart from my wife and 3 kids do i stand any chance

billy on September 25, 2011:

fantastic read

split up from my wife of only 5 months after being together 14 years we have 3 kids 2 are my step kids been with them since they were 3 and 1 but got daughter together whos 10 she said she didn't love me anymore that was it i didn't see it coming but want her back so much and i know the kids miss me i have my issues but it takes 2 to tango we split in april and she got new bf in may my kids hate him and they never stop rowing being together 4 months they have split up 4 times so far but i cant let go i love them all so much

patrick on September 21, 2011:

u can only easily 4get abt d woman u really loved more than u love totally staying away from where u will come across her

melanie jenkies on September 21, 2011:


every one my name is melanie jenkie and i have been married for 4years and i have a break up with my husband 3months ago and i was worried and so confuse because i love him so much. i was really going too depressed and a friend directed me to this spell caster Dr. Zuma and i made all my problems known to him and he told me not to worry that he was going to make my husband to come back to me and in just 48hours i receive a call from my husband and he was appealing that i come back to the house.

i have never in my life believe in spell and but now it have just helped me and i am now so happy.

Thanks to him and if you also want to have your lover back to yourself then his email is

manoj k pandey on September 20, 2011:

I admit with this article. Love is the energy which can never lost. If you really love to someone then she will definetly come back in your life.But keep patience and respect her in your heart always...

To John a couple posts back! on September 16, 2011:

Hey, I posted on here 3 weeks ago myself about my breakup. my gf said the same thing. she still loves me but needs to figure things out for herself. she "needs" to be single and fingure out what she wants. she even said. "if we get back together in a few months or whenever , she would want a ring". but right now i have to let her go. ITS CRIPPLING MAN. i feel your pain. friends are saying she gave me a (screw who i want card) while she does the same but i don't even want to . I just want her. Its bullshit. right now, at this very moment she is going camping with a new male friend. she had to come to my place to get her 2 man tent she left here. FRICKEN BEAUTIFUL. so about you finally.... Your X - GF needs to understand that she could lose you too. You're gonna feel lost as hell for a little while but just know that your feeling more than just a need to get back with her. You are feeling a desire to have something you can't. You might be freaked about being single again. confused about this happening. Just let the feelings hit you and move on... I am hurting and the only thing that makes me feel better atm is getting a little mad and feeling worse for a sec. Food for thought>>>> your Gf loves you and then left you to figure out what she wants. she says wait a month to keep you on a mental leash hoping while she discovers what MAYBE guy or maybe other things make her happy. Then if all else fails she can come back to you "the nice guy waiting". That's crap. don't let her make you a plan B. Your better than that. go workout. be productive. go on a date yourself. it will be hard but maybe even go on a date. u don't have to sleep with someone else but see what's on the market. at the very least u will worry less about what she COULD or MIGHT be doing and start living your life. ++++PLUS+++ if she doesn't come back. your already well on the road to recovery. PS.. I hope this works out for you dude. And me :( hard times

bosmer on September 16, 2011:

i broke up with my girl yesterday with a txt and feel very bad what should i do

rakshas on September 15, 2011:

My Girlfriend Brokeup with me a month back. It was out of the blues. She has reasons. I really love her. I stopped contacting her since she told me that she wants to breakup. After 4 weeks I have sent her a letter Wishing her all the best in with her life and respecting her decision. I also wrote a poem about Her. also wrote 3 songs which conveyed that how did I broke her heart and her dreams of starting a life with me. If she still loves me she will come back if not then I still wish her all the best in life. No hard feelings!!!

John on September 15, 2011:

Okay so my gf broke up with me and then we continually txt each other (a two way thing for around a week). Upon becoming tired of this situation as it was no good for either of us i asked her to meet me for a coffee to talk (a week after the break up). We had broken up because she said she wasn't happy anyore we didn't want the same things and she said i wasn't effectionate enough. We talked for a long time around 2 hours and she said she was happy we had done so as we were both been the most open with each other in a while. I indicated that after some time to sort through some issues, id like to try again, she indicated that she would also like some time to think about what she wanted and we agreed not to contact each other for 1 month and then see how we (she) feels. She said that she didn't want to give me any false hope though that she would change her mind in the mean time. We both at which point she asked for a hug i accepted (didn't have much choice), she then hugged me closely and very tightly for a long period and then kissed me on the lips then left. She has now also blocked me from her facebook and we haven't been in contact for now 4 days tomorrow. Could anyone offer any advice i don't really understand what's happening i thought i was willing to wait after all i need some time too, however i don't understand my Ex's actions please advise.

james on September 14, 2011:

i love your ideas guys,mwah

glassvisage (author) from Northern California on September 13, 2011:

SAD and Ben:

I can't say what the right thing to do is, but in my experience, I feel that this may be an opportunity to explore other relationships and chances. I know it's difficult (trust me, I know!), but you may be surprised what other great people you can meet. They may even be better.

Reborn! on September 12, 2011:

Louis I totally get you, I'm now in the process of changing my ways, I was a drunk and I'm sober now since the day after she left over3 months ago, I had family issues trust issues you name it I had an issue with it and on top of that an addict in denial, I got dry myself for myself and just changing that brought a whole new world to me I'm also starting counselling for the pain of losing her too, what I wouldn't give to hear and feel her voice again, all I can say is get your head down man and work bloody hard for yourself and when you feel strong enough try and make contact then but you must only change if that's what you yourself wants, everything else can wait and will fall into place when the time is right.

Louis on September 12, 2011:

My ex and I (both 19) have been catching up since we broke up a few months ago. One of the reasons she broke up with me was because of trust, I never cheated on her, I love her and only her, but I let her down big time the other day by not coming to see her when I said I would, cut a long story short, She was really upset that I let her down, she doesn't want to talk to me and she believes that my word means nothing. This is obviously not the first time I’ve let her down.

I have told her that I want to be honest and show integrity in the past and this example proved I haven’t changed. My intentions are absolutely true and I’ts what I want, it’s really made me depressed and effected my self esteem. Given some other issues with my family I have really woken up and want to change more than ever, if not for her for me and my family.

She believes this is who I am and that I can't change that because I said I will and haven't.

I actually believed her for a moment after we hung up the phone, but I don't think that is who I am, it makes me sick to think I'll go thru life knowing I'm a liar and sell my self short by believing I can't change and that my word means nothing..

I honestly want more than ever cut the crap and be true to myself and her and I will, I have no idea how to tell her this, I've said sorry in the past so many times that it’s lost all meaning, I don't want her sympathy, I just want her to understand, or at least get back on good terms and sooner rather than later she’ll see that I’m not a dishonest, unloyal guy.

Now I don't have her support and I feel pathetic, could someone PLEASE give me guidance and help me figure out where to start? I really just want to do something or say something to her it's been 2 days.

I need to prove to her that I am a man of my word and eventually earn back some respect and I would kill to get her trust back (I know that doesn’t happen overnight, but I’ll dedicate every night to getting it)

For now I just need to know what should I do? I think I have given her enough space, I suspect she would want me to hear from me soon, but in what way? Should I text her a joke? Would she resent a gift? Apologize again? If so how?! I genuinely am sorry and mean what I’m saying but I don’t know how to go about this, I just feel so ashamed and guilty for letting her down because it hurt her and I think she’s upset because she let herself trust me and it reminded her why we broke up ?

Honestly, I love this girl more than anything and I want to marry her, I understand that there's no certainty of that happening but I want to make this work I don't care what it takes or how long, we were so happy together. I just want to sort out my problems which led to the breakup which is a solid start to fixing this relationship.

But that's another kettle of fish, for now I don’t want to lose her, I want to earn back her respect once and for all for the last time and keep it, actions speak louder than words and I swear I’ll be honest and live with integrity but for now I just want to get back on decent terms like we were.

please understand that this is not a ploy to get back with her I don't want to manipulate her in anyway!

Please help?

I was the above post for SAD, and Ben on September 11, 2011:

I would really love some advice or thoughts about my X. she wants to meet for coffee in 2 days and I want her back so badly but i think she is still in "happy to be apart" mode. how do I bring her back?

chelseacharleston on September 11, 2011:

Love some level headed loooooove advice. Good stuff, thanks :)

Sad on September 06, 2011:

I am angry inside at her, it may be a good thing to get over her. I still miss her soo much. I would like to marry this girl. I feel so rejected and pathetic but at the same time know I want to say fuk off and never look back again because of the bullshit she is pulling now. I have treated her like a golden saint for 5 years and grown with her mentally and spiritually. Just for what. to be cast aside with a "don't call me, i need space" i invested my fuking life with hers and am willing to work things out and she throws me to the curb like a dog? how do I fight for her to change her mind. How do i make her understand? without talking to her?

Ben on September 02, 2011:

Please help!

was with my girl for 5 years and she just broke up with me last week.

she hasn't smoked in 4 years and started instantly chain smoking 2 days after we broke up. She said she needs to figure out what she wants and what makes her happy. she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now.

We lived together so now she is staying with a random guy she just met at her new job. i already broke down and basically begged her to change her mind. lost all my pride. I feel lost as all hell and am now only trying to move on and stay busy to keep my mind at bay.

what do I do now? I love her with all my heart. How do I give her months. How do i live with the thought of her possibly dating some new guy. She said maybe in the future we will find each other back together and be stronger than ever. How do i wait MONTHS?!? please help

Reborn! on August 31, 2011:

People that don't have the problem won't understand or accept that your problem was out of control, they will still believe you had a choice, it's actions now that will speak volumes and also gaining control of yourself and your life for you first and foremost, then when your happy within you can set about making people around you happy.

adam b on August 31, 2011:

thanks m8. i will give her time.

i just read something last night, regarding why i was like i was. It states that when you drink if you are stressed that the hormone to calm you down is blocked by the alcohol. and that you stay stressed for a period of time depending on how much you have drunk.

she left me because she thought i didn't care/love her.

i sent her this email with the link, and i prey that she reads it and udnerstands the the nasty piece of shit she left wasn't me.

i am happy about it, that im clean. i was never addicted to alcohol, just assumed it was good for relaxatin, only to find out that it's the worst thing you can do if you need to relax.

i am happy in one way, because it has saved me from health issues i know. i know quit alcohol, which is not so difficult.

i am going to fight for her, im going to try and do something romantic in december, when she has had time to cool down and hopefuly understand.

it breaks my heart to think she left me because she thought i was this monster, whe i was being controlled because i was snappy at anything and according to medical info this was out of my control.

thanks for your comment, and i do really love her. it just feels like she has walked away from 4.5 years because she was scared of me, when she didn't know the reasons why i was like that.

i sent a link showing why, once i researched. i just hope she read's it.

thanks again, and hope that you get what u deserve.

i do damn well miss the girl, all the time.


and yea, after speaking to people, they said when her back was against the wall she had no choice but to say '' no'' , kinda lashing out when pushed into a corner.

i wish i had not asked that question, but it was an emotional moment.

i already have a plan of how im gonna attempt to woo her off her feet, and surprise her in her own country one day.

i just hope that she looks through the bullcrap and realizes that the way i treated her was out of my control.

thank's again,

adam b.

reborn! on August 30, 2011:

hi adam b, this is pretty much what i going through too,i think her saying no at that time was anger on her part so what ive learned here and from advise from others is patience, very very hard but i was in constant contact and didn't help much im 3 months on now not drinking and i must say i feel great so its important to clean up for your self otherwise you wont be trul happy about it,give it a little time buddy get yourself sorted and if you really want to quit you will.go from there, i do think if you really love her you must at least try to fight for her but give her time too,we both know she is worth it so good luck.

adam b on August 29, 2011:

i had been with the love of my life for 5 years. and i know im the first person she has ever loved too. i too went off the rails a bit, and the drink caused me to not be nice person for the last 5 days i was with her. i was not voilent towards her, but stressed was multiplied in my life due to alcahol which i thought was going to relax me instead. i realize where i went wrong now she is gone, and instead of hittin the bottle ive decided to never drink again.

told her this but have had no reply. its been nearly 3 weeks, and i understand she wont want to talk to me as she left my house very emotional when i threw a plate into the sink and it smashed , due to stress and a few pints. that scared her and she left, but she knows that in 5 yrs ive hardly been like that, and only if ive had a few drinks. which most the time im fine if i have anyway.

but, when she left, i asked if i will ever see her again.

she said '' i don't know '' . and i said to please just tell me yes or no. kinda knowing it's going tob ea no if i forced it. but i was so emotional.

so she had no choice i guess, but to say no.

has that dented my chances dramtaically, forcing her to decide straight away during an emotional seperation? or after 3 months or so, when i go and try to see her, and if she has not made contact with me, when i am a new man with all the things she wanted in me , visible. would that one answer i forced out of her made it easier for her to think she MUST forget me.

i know this woman loves me .. but i know she could not be around what i was turning into. i tried emailing explaning that i was in denial about the drink, cause i was. and that we are the best couple in the world for 4.5 years without the drink.

should i have just left it at '' i don't know '' or having forced the answer no, will that force the fact in her mind she has to try and forget me?

thanks if someone replies.

Amit on August 28, 2011:

main problem I face is girls don't like to talk and solve problem. In any relation you got to tell person what you are feeling otherwise we will go no where!!!

Guy don't talk may be because of the pride but I do talk w with my x that she believes cannot talk because of her pride... is that not funny!!!

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