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How to know when to Leave a Relationship - Top 12 Reasons to end an Unhappy Marriage or Love Affair

Anamika S. Jain has been a social media consultant for six years. She has written more than 200 articles on relationships and dating.

Reasons or Signs to Quit a Relationship

You have tried everything possible to save your relationship or marriage. You have even tried counseling and done everything in your capacity to keep your husband or boyfriend pleased. You are unhappy and miserable but still holding on to your relationship. Nothing is working well for you and you have no idea what to do about it. You are confused if you should stay in the marriage or say quits to the relationship. In such a case, how to know if leaving the relationship is the right thing to do or not?

The tips below may help in deciding if you should leave a relationship or when to leave a relationship.

If you are in an unhappy relationship, It's time you should take the decision if you should end the relationship or continue the relationship.

If you are in an unhappy relationship, It's time you should take the decision if you should end the relationship or continue the relationship.

Top 12 reasons why you should leave a Relationship

How do you know when it is time to say goodbye to a relationship? When is breaking up the best option for you? There are many signs that it is time to end a relationship. Giving below are Top 12 reasons why you should opt out of an unhappy marriage.

  • You are emotionally abused and your emotional needs are not been met. You feel frustrated and unfulfilled. If any one of you is a control freak, abusive and dominating, it can only cause unhappiness or dissatisfaction to the other person.
  • Your spouse has broken your trust more than once by resorting to cheating on you.
  • You are not getting what you want from the relationship. You are forced to give up your aspirations and dreams. Relationships are like a two way street. Relationships revolve around two people who are willing to put in equal effort in every aspect of the relationship. If both the partners are not benefiting from each other, the relationship can be considered unhealthy.
  • You are forced to keep a distance or totally cut off from your good friends or family.
  • You have fallen out of love and do not have the same feelings you had for your spouse anymore.
  • Spending time with your spouse, having sex with him or communicating with him does not excite you anymore. The passion and trust in the relationship is gone. You no longer like being around your partner and look for excuses to avoid him.
  • If either you or your partner are in the habit of comparing the spouse with others or are constantly trying to change the partner, the relationship would be a disaster.
  • You no longer feel good about yourself and have become insecure, withdrawn and depressed.
  • The lifestyle and values of the couples do not match with that of each other. There is too much disputes and tension between the two of you.
  • He is got addictions that he is not willing to let go like drugs, alcohol, stealing, gambling etc.
  • Mutual respect has gone out of the relationship and even counseling has not helped.
  • Your partner is not taking up his part of responsibilities seriously.

This may sound selfish but it would be the best decision to make if you are unhappy in marriage. If either or one person is not happy in the marriage try first to solve the problems and if that still could not help in saving the relationship, it is better to leave the relationship. Clinging on to such a marriage or relationship can only cause you misery and dissatisfaction. Breaking up is a hard thing to do but that may be the best decision to make.

There are many couples who enter into a relationship or are forced into the relationship even though there are signs of incompatibility only to have regrets or relationship problems later. A relationship is a partnership and it needs the efforts of both the partners to make it work.


Suzette Walker from Taos, NM on December 08, 2014:

Excellent article! Many reasons on your list were why marriage ended. It is sad to experience the life going out of a marriage. A very thought provoking article.

Levertis Steele from Southern Clime on December 01, 2014:

What an interesting hub, Anamika. Hopefully, many will use it to make the right decisions in their relationships.

Ebonny from UK on July 24, 2013:

Great food for thought here - voted up and thank you for sharing.

David Zermeño from Mexico on July 15, 2013:

Good tips, sincere and very useful, it's better to let others be happy to be an unhappy couple. Good advice for young people and older people too. Voted up :)

mystifiedgirl on January 08, 2013:

Such a great article! it really speaks to me. i have completely lost myself somewhere along the way in my marriage. i probably should leave but i am afriad to be on my own. my husband completely controls everything i do. i am trying to make a decision but i worry that ending my marriage will not be the right thing to do. i am very torn.

deb on June 05, 2012:

I have been in this marriage 13 yrs and I am so unhappy, I work while he sits in his chair in front of the Tv, he works maybe 3 days a month and feels that's ok!so your article has helped me realize I need out but I can see him getting violent when I do, I am his supporter so I set a date when to tell him and leave may not get my belongings but at least I will be free, Thanks again for the great article.

Levertis Steele from Southern Clime on May 08, 2012:

Great points! Voted up and other positives.

modestfairy on March 19, 2012:

i have a boyfriend that i been living with since feb weve been a couple since last sept and the way the relationship is he goes out with friends whenever he wants and when it comes to me i cant go anywhere not even to the store i dont see family or friends.he also made me delete most of my friends cause he has trust issues this relationship feals like its all bout his wants and needs im miserable but idont know how to leave ive tried numEROUS of times and he kept begging me to stay that hell change and nothing how do i leave him without falling into his trap

NAA on January 18, 2012:

It has never been easy staying with a guy for 6 years and he does not notice ur presence, find more mistakes abt u, blams u on everything that goes wrong, and espects apologies from u always,fulsly acuse u of cheating on him, telling u its over any time he wants and later comes back to say: 'i was kidding' after all that pain. Oh this is the day! I guess its over am done with him.

Ravi on January 02, 2012:

Though this is a good write up I do have a suggestion. Being a guy, when i read this article I felt like it gives tips only for a Woman. There are lot of guys out there who are morally better off than their wife / girlfriend. Please write your articles keeping in mind both genders. Otherwise it will sound biased.. Thanks

Roxanne Tamberen on December 03, 2011:

Thank you, Sheila, for reccomending this hub to me. Of course it was just when I was feeling weak, and wanting to go back to his good parts, forgetting the alcohol abuse, mind-games, and control issues. I was thinking of the things I could have done better. I have to find the strength to keep walking, and do those things better for someone worth it! Thank you Sheila, I love you! And Anamika, thank you for being so dead-honest, that takes courage! Nice writing! One tiny tiny critique. If you are not hugely familiar with the English language, spell-check, or an editor are GREAT! Just hoping to help with a minor thing! I wiill be reading more of your articles! Thanks!

Sheila Varga Szabo from Southern California on December 03, 2011:

Very useful hub. I can see most of them spoke true to me in my marriage, and yet, it never occurred to me to end the relationship. Now that I'm divorced (because he wanted it), I see all the flaws and feel blessed to be "set free" to live life to its full potential.

In "real" love, your partner nudges you to want to be a better person. He or she will make you shine brighter than a star, and you will do the same for them. A good relationship is measured in happiness. You will grow together, and support each other, but no matter what, your partner in life will love you, warts and all, for who you are. At least, that is what I long for.

Great tips to spot a toxic relationship. I think I'll share this on Facebook.

Ncholas on October 19, 2011:

It was not easy until i decided to quit.

Sridevi on October 18, 2011:

Hi Can anyone help me. I am in affair with a boy from last 6yrs. He says he loves me truly but he is refusing to introduce his parents to my family members. He takes money from me saying that he will marry me but postponds every time. Till now he has not spent a single penny pai on me. But he is not ready to leave me. All he needs me to work. He never calls and he asks me to call him. Meets once in 2months. Can you tell me what the reason could be. Will he be the right guy.

shannon on October 15, 2011:

It is true that if your not happy you should leave. I made a mistake and stayed with someone for six years. Look out for yourself and stay healthy.

Sunshine on October 06, 2011:

This auther isn't helping anyone who has problems in their relationship. It is stupid to generalize when to leave an unhappy relationship. What if one could be happy with a little effort or full hearted effort? I would rather seek for causes of my problems that could be making me unhappy, and take initiatives to make things work than to simply look for the reasons to leave an unhappy relationship. Hey boys & girls, be thankful for all the things the other person provides, and be selfless. You are likely to find happyness in you.

Mofokeng Bernet (lesego) on September 13, 2011:

Oh.. my God! wade great news iv ever had thanx Hub. keep on guiding us we luv u

clintonb from Adelaide, Australia on July 09, 2011:

Hmm..true. Its good to leave an unhappy relationship. When there is no future. Love your articles Anamika :)

Anju Seth on June 13, 2011:

Almost all the points appear to be when 'you' are not fitting in. It assumes that your spouse is at fault, and mostly for trivial reasons, which can easily be adjusted to or corrected, in yourself or your spouse. Any two people in such close proximity are bound to have differences - making yourself more worthwhile to be in the relationship is what relationships are all about. Most often, I feel, emotional estrangement starts setting in when the couple stop trying to impress each other, show each other their best side, and stop appreciating each other. Wouldn't an introspection be more in order?

Bbins2/11 on June 01, 2011:

its hard to say goodbye

Heathyer69 from Laurel, Delaware on April 20, 2011:

Great Hub..

dashingscorpio from Chicago on March 02, 2011:

When you aren't able to be your authentic self then it's time to move on. It's not healthy to have to walk on egg shells, hide your feelings, or look the other way in order to get along with someone. Both people have to want the same things.

Evelyn on February 14, 2011:

The reasons stated above are not geniue

DASHNY on January 17, 2011:

SO happy you found the strenght to leave that boy-friend

Bebo, any man who cant cosider you a priority in their life is not worth it, I'm sure you will find a nice christian men to appreciate you.

No one has the right to judge and there is nothing wrong with being divorced who' cares it's past and he care why did he continue seing you?

This is not true love he might just be obssesed with you.

bebo on January 17, 2011:

This webpage has really helped me, I've been in a relationship for 5 years and have always felt left out of

my boy-friends life, He says he loves me all the time, but when it comes to showing it?'s really hard to see I'm always the last thing on his list never a priority, he hardly ever tells me I look pretty and when he does, he says you looked nice that other day I just ddn't want to tell you.

He never sends me flowers or plans dates for special occasions we can never spend more than one night together he is always busy all the time.

I'm really happy I broke up with him because I want someone to love me oh' by the way I was always there for him and never judged him for his past and he would always judged me for being divorced, I never planned to meet him in the future.

The first night I met him he knew I was divorced I told him myself- I married young and divorced young would intentially plan to make a future person who you haven't met miserable??? I never did -sometimes I wish I never met him but than I thank God because no bad comes into your life without bringing good. So glad to speak my mind out.

Website Examiner on December 12, 2010:

Anamika, this is the first time for me to read one of your articles. I found this one very thoughtful, direct, and relevant. I liked the tone of it, you speak to the reader in a trustworthy, confidence-building voice.

Tizozo on September 28, 2010:

its time for me to leave, and make myself happy and take a good care of my children. I don't love her anymore...

Eiddwen from Wales on September 24, 2010:

I agree with Neil. I was married to an abusive partner for 26 years until circumstances gave me the strength to leave. I am now wand have been for the past 5 years with a brilliant partner. I like the way you dealt with this topic Anamika and I can't wait to read more of your work. Take care.

Neil Sperling from Port Dover Ontario Canada on September 23, 2010:

good stuff - there is only one thing better than a good relationship -- that one thing is getting out of a bad one.


myawn from Florida on September 07, 2010:

very good hub I see the points of bad relationships

Anamika S Jain (author) from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on August 24, 2010:

@HappyHer You are absolutely right. Women would never be happy in such marriages.When they cannot take the sufferings anymore many women decide that it is time to leave an unhappy marriage.

Tracy Morrow from Cleveland, OH on August 22, 2010:

Addiction/Alcoholism and Abuse are definitely deal breakers. The other points were very good to consider as well.

Anamika S Jain (author) from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on August 21, 2010:

@dinesh c bhatt & Tatjana-Mihaela : I am happy you liked the Hub

@Uma07 It is not worth being in a relationship there is no mutual respect. After all, a Marriage or Live in Relationship is a Partnership. However, the Indian Women are changing too! Thanks for the visit.

Uma07 on August 21, 2010:

Great write up Anamika.I liked the part where you mention mutual respect is important for a marriage to survive.In Indian society many families want women to compromise on everything and it is forgotten husband and wife need to work together to make the marriage a success.

Well written!

Tatjana-Mihaela from Zadar, CROATIA on August 21, 2010:

Great Hub Anamika! It will be of great help to many.

dinesh c bhatt from India (Noida) on August 21, 2010:

Hi Anamika,

Good Hub.....Your hub is really very interesting!!

Anamika S Jain (author) from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on August 21, 2010:

Thanks Surendraji! I am fine and Miss you too. Hope all is well with you also. Thanks for the visit!

Surendra Kumar Tapuriah on August 20, 2010:

Liked this. Reading you after a long time. Hope you have been well.

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