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How to Know if Your Boyfriend or Husband Really Loves You or Not

Anamika S. Jain has been a social media consultant for six years. She has written more than 200 articles on relationships and dating.

How Do I Know if He Loves Me?

A friend of mine wanted me to write an article on how to know if your guy truly loves you. I have been asked this question several times and it is quite a difficult one to answer, as many guys are skillful at making girls believe that they are in love when they are not. But still, if you watch him carefully you may find signs to identify if your husband or boyfriend is in love with you or not. I am making an attempt to answer the following requests on this subject:

  • How to know if my guy really loves me?
  • How to know the true feelings of my boyfriend?
  • Are there any clues to confirm that my man is in love with me?
  • What are the symptoms for identifying that a guy is falling for me?
  • How to know if my boyfriend is serious enough about me to want a committed relationship?
How to know that your guy really loves you.

How to know that your guy really loves you.

How to Know if a Guy Loves You?

Most men are quite skillful at relationships and may make you feel wonderful, leaving you overwhelmed by the feeling that he is in love with you even if he is actually faking it. To know if he is truly in love, pay proper attention to his behavior and body language. You may find some signs of his love and level of commitment.

He treats me like a queen: An acquaintance of mine said that her guy treats her like a queen and there is no way he would cheat behind her back. It is every woman’s dream to be treated like a queen. But the truth is that it is not a guarantee that he is really in love and not cheating. There can be many reasons a guy may be extra nice to you. Some of them can be:

  • He has the money and he needs to spend it somewhere.
  • He wants to keep a good image in front of you, his friends or his family.
  • He is guilty that he is cheating on you.
  • You give him what he wants so he rewards you with indulgences.

He says ‘I love you’ often: Men often exploit the emotional side of women by saying those three words or even convincing her that indeed he is in love with her. Many men use fake declarations of love to get sexual favors. The truth is if a guy says he is in love he will say it in many ways. Many things can reveal his feelings for you including the tone of his voice, the look in his eyes or his touch. So when he declares that he loves you, notice his behavioral patterns to discern how sincere your boyfriend is.

  • Is he saying ‘I love you’ when he wants to have sex with you?
  • Is he saying it as a response for your declaration of love?
  • Does he normally say these words to everyone?
  • Does he say ‘I love you’ when he is drunk?
  • Does he declare his love even when you are not on good terms?
  • Does he look into your eyes when he says it?
  • Does he declare his love to you in front of his family or friends?

He says that he wants to marry me: Declarations of love and marriage are the tactics most used by guys to get women to bed. Most women are emotional fools and fall for these tricks. If a guy is indeed in love with you he should not have any problem making a commitment to you by putting a ring on your finger in front of his family and friends. He may even brag about you to his family and friends. Changing the topic or ignoring it when you want to discuss your future is not a positive sign of a healthy relationship. Take careful note of when he makes a promise for marriage.

  • Does he promise marriage when he wants to get intimate with you or want sexual favors from you?
  • Does he make ‘his world’ know that he and you are a couple or is he hiding you inside a closet?
  • Does he have any solid plans about marriage?
  • Does he promise to marry but keep on postponing it?
  • Did you guys get engaged?
  • Does he love to go out with you in public and introduce you to his friends and family?

He spends time with me regularly: This is a very positive sign when you are in a relationship. If your man is spending loads of time with you and finds excuses to spend time with you he may be serious about the relationship. Some guys may not be very comfortable expressing feelings of love, but they may spend every available opportunity with you because they love you. He may even share your favorite pastimes even though he does not like them as wants to be with you. He may even travel for an hour to steal a few moments with you. No matter how busy he is, he always has time for you and is always attentive to your needs and priorities. He takes an active interest in matters related to you including your habits and likings. When you are down he also becomes upset and puts in the effort to make you happy. You may also often catch him looking at you when you are around. If your man has excuses for not taking the time with you, beware. If he goes out of his way to do things for you, that is a very positive sign of a good relationship. Here are certain signs you can watch out for:

  • Is he happy when spending time with you? Does he smile often?
  • Is he spending time with you because otherwise you would nag?
  • Is he spending time with you because he wants sex?
  • Does he spend time with you out in public too?
  • Does he frown often when spending time with you?
  • Does he at least call and talk to you for some time when he cannot see you?
  • Does he have eyes only for you when he is with you?

He is full of praises for me: If a guy compliments a girl it is often a positive sign. If he tells you how he loves your smile or the way you are in all probability he adores you! You can take his compliments seriously if they are genuine reasons why he is attracted to you. But when he says that you are like Miss World when you are obese, be sure that when he he gets what he wants he wont even spare you a second look. Go ahead and check:

  • Is there something he wants from me? It can be anything including sex, money or a promotion.
  • Is he a seasoned flirt? Does he behave with every girl in the same manner?

We talk a lot: Communication is a very positive sign in a relationship. If your boyfriend is concerned about you and is always asking about your life and interests and talking about his likes, life or passions then it is a sign that he may be interested in you. A man who is involved in his relationship will always find an excuse to call you or be with you, be it to share a thought, or ask your opinion or because he misses you. If the guy is even nice to your friends and family and has positive interactions with them it is a positive sign that he cares about the people you care for. If a guy gives more importance to his friends or work even if you are sick or in need then he may not be interested. If he only talks about himself or does not communicate regularly then he is not the right guy to be with. There are several reasons why a woman may dump a man, and this is a very valid one. However, you can analyze some behavioral patterns to decide on how well you communicate.

  • After you have had a fight, do you sit down and resolve the problem or do you ignore it?
  • Do you know what your guy is doing and where he is most of the time?
  • Does he share everything openly with you?
  • Do you communicate regularly by whatever method it takes, be it in person, by mail or by phone?
  • Does he still talk to you like normal even after you have refused to sleep with him or he does he take his time to call you again?
  • Does he break up or threaten to part ways with you after you refuse to sleep with him?
  • How does he behave or talk when he is angry at you? This is the time to watch out and be ready to face the truth.

He buys me gifts and remembers special occasions: Men are not very good at remembering dates. But if he is in love he will not forget any special occasion. If your boyfriend does not remember your birthday, your anniversary or Valentine's Day and gives you a thoughtless gift, rest assured that he does not care for you. Sometimes bad gifts are tolerated by women, but getting no gift is not forgivable, especially if he keeps on declaring his love. If a guy is all talk about keeping you in diamonds, wanting to go on a trip with you, or wanting to make money for you but cannot get you a gift on a special day then he is not for you. If he adores you he will remember even the tiny details about you. If he has a bad memory he will write it down in his diary or put it in his mobile so that he won’t forget a special day and makes all efforts to make the day memorable for his girl. Men in love with women will not let important events pass without celebrating them. A man in love is a doer and not just a talker. You can check his behavior.

  • Is he all talk about what he wants to buy you or how he wants to spend time with you but does not do anything about it? If so, he is probably the wrong guy.
  • Does he remember special occasions on his own or do you need to remind him?
  • He gets you gifts because otherwise you would nag.
  • What are his choices of gifts? Are they impersonal or picked up at the last minute or did he take his time out for choosing a nice gift for you. Or did he have a secretary or friend to shop for a gift for you?

To sum it up, If you want to know whether your husband or boyfriend loves you, you need to listen to your gut feeling. You can make out if a person loves you from the special shine in his eyes when he is with you. You should also be feeling positive vibes when he is around you or when he touches you. If you are miserable and suffering in the relationship and do not feel comfortable or secure with him then he is not the guy for you. If your guy is committed to you, treats you special and makes you feel comfortable and secure then in all probability he is in love with you and not faking it.

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Tan jennings on January 04, 2018:

Am 20 years old I have 3 children my boyfriend always pick on dem 2 of the children is outsiders and one is his if the two outsiders children throw way food he will vex and tell to teach them how to eat one of them is 3 years old and the other is 2 years old and he want them to sit down whole day and watch TV am thinking to leave what should I do help me

Indian Chef from New Delhi India on June 08, 2013:

Anamika, if a girl thinks I love her or not is an insult to me.. simply because I can not live with a girl who is constantly thinking about my intentions. You either love someone or not. I really feel people trying to look up things online or in books to see if someone loves someone, usually head for break though yes marriage proposal can be used to get the girl in bed but a guy can not force a girl to be in bed. A girl would go to bed with you before marriage only if she wish it, and marriage thing is only excuse she might need to jump in bed.

neetumishra on May 17, 2013:

hi i loved this article ....m in love with a guy he is taller than me m not he like tall girls m beautiful but his ex girlfriends were more beautiful than me he said 4 years before he was in love with me but he couldn't able to propose me we even don't use to talk because were not in same city now after 4year he came back his behavior was same so i proposed him some days before he said when i proposed him he wasn't in love with me but he want to get married with me because of my good behavior but now he loves me n he is serious abt me but now also he don't make me feel special his frens are more important than me he loves to spent time with his frens more than with me plzzz help me what should i do ....i love him a lot....

ahh nica on January 17, 2013:

can you help me.. my boyfriend have all that qualities above except of giving me gifts on our monthsary and anniversary and he not even treat me some foods etc.. he treat me when I asked.,,huhu

Katriza41 on September 14, 2012:

My opinion talk about it, Have you ever secretly wished that you could be loved by a man as much as you love him? It is painful, isn’t it, for giving so much more in love than you are given back; for trying so hard to make a relationship work but the other partner is not willing to try as hard you are. You are not alone; many people live with that broken heart that comes from not being loved enough.

hiliary on May 23, 2012:

my boyfriend says that he is busy all day thats why he didn't get time to talk with me and he don't want to be stressed but from the above article i come to know that if a guy loves u he get some time for u don't matter how busy he is so i want to no if he really loves me

cindy h on April 26, 2012:

I love my man to bits. And what I have read fruw is that is very true and now that I know my man loves me. I don't need gifts the big gift that he gives me is his love, comfort, security, his world. And i like to thanks to this research for making me see what's happening in ower relationship. He's definitely the one for me. Thanks guys you been a great help :-) xxx

courtney doll on April 15, 2012:

i really like this guy but i have a bf the thing is i don't know what my boyfriends doing when im not talking to him amd when we text and i ask him what hes up to he says hes at work but it scares me that hes doing something else and i asked them what they liked about me and how much they liked me and my boyfriend told me that he likes me for my looks and that he liked me more than anyone else but the guy that i like said that he liked me because i am who i want to be and that he never wants me to change and he said that he didn't like me he loved me and said that he wants me to run away with him what should i do and who should i choose?

Lucia on April 11, 2012:

my bf and I love each other so much , but he doesn't trust me because i once confessed that i was cheating on him. I feel that I cant be with a person that doesn't trust me because I suffer but at the same time I dnt want to leave him because I feel that i will never be happy with somebody els either then him. How do I win his trust back without losing him?

gab on April 09, 2012:

I guessmy husband. Dnt love me I believe the article I know. Loove would be more thoughtful an special all I get are put Downs and, empty promises. I Dnt Evan have a ring wow I fill sum


Lisas-thoughts101 from Northeast Texas on April 09, 2012:

Animika, Good hub. Lots of good tips. I enjoyed it. Great advice. Voted up.


rachel on April 02, 2012:

ur great...anamika..

its simply awssum...

n nw i knw.. dat my bf loves me a lot...

m feelin as if m d luckiest grl in dis earth.. cz my bf has ol d gud qualities.. a genuine lover shud hav...

aftr readin dis i hav strtd luvin my bf mre n mre..

Luna, Genelyn on March 22, 2012:

I just have a question...What if it is a long distance relationship, then he calls me every week...Should I believe him that he loves me trully.??? He calls me whenever i'd let go and I need to stop loving him coz i cant take the pain......but all the time... i forgive him.......coz i love much....

Arogundade mariam on March 13, 2012:

In life we tend to love those who care, respect and value what we share with them. But women should be careful not to patch things by setting things straight from the very begining. Leave no stone unturned, be tolerant and smart. KNOW YOUR WORTH! The right man will stand by you forever. Be Happy.

Racheal on March 12, 2012:

I have someone i love so dearly but am not sure whether he loves me. His someone i wanna spend the rest of ma life with but what am sure of, his not into marriage. So i don't know whether i should move on with him or just live ma life!

tina wessels on March 11, 2012:

i hop it work because i know he do not like me but he is sitting next to me in class.lastime he askme what coulir is my oo i dident whant to look because i know im gonna fall inlove.i hope i will work :]

Michelle on March 09, 2012:

woah ... why did i even bother reading this when i know for sure he loves me? im crazy!

sweetiepie on March 03, 2012:

i still cant understand wats going on he loves me a lot i know that he always cares 4 me he dies 2 see me....he gifts me he always take care of me....he had done the whole future planning we talked whole day full nights.... but when my parents got to know abt him we cant talk i use to talk him very less bcos it is bciming impossible but now he is thinking that i m in relationship with another boy wat shul d ido................

Angie on March 01, 2012:

I have a friend that likes me a lot. We are not in a relationship yet but we are getting close I do likes him a lot the same with him he likes me a lot . Spending time with him is the most important thing for me but don't really get to at times. But now he is telling me that he loves me and we are not in a relationship as yet. Plz help I like this guy so much

Lucky on February 29, 2012:

Dear M. although u will feel bad, I think I need to say that he doesn't love u. u should try to meet other friends and forget him, I know that's very difficult for u, tho. anyway, u really love him, but he doesn't know how to keep ur love, that's his loss, not ur loss. be happy

corinthian on February 24, 2012:

what would i do if i found out that my husband fancied too many gays and even wamt to marry a gay befoe he met me?

ami on February 18, 2012:

hi i have a bf just some weeks ago n i want to know that does he really love me, n now i have got solution that how know he loves me or not thank u so much i'll use this trick thanx a lot.

famina on February 18, 2012:

hi i am famina i have a boy frnd.He is my colg mate.first he proposed to me and after some days he proposed to my friend.i asked to him why u r proposing to all.He said that he is kidding her.After some days he said that he is in love with my friend and my friend did not accept his love.Now again he is proposed to me and he saying that he is madly loves me and he wants me to be with him.i cant believe him.Now he is trying another girl to have friendship with him.please help me .i don't know wt to do.

Ash.... on February 14, 2012:

Really cnfused..m sure nd i believe he loves me...4 last one n half year we r in he dnt wish me in any occasion...i love him a lot..plz pray 4 me..

Angel clare on February 13, 2012:

You are simply d best. U jst made my decisn 4me. So help me God

Brayo on February 08, 2012:

your rilly good at this:)

Omolade.O on February 03, 2012:

Hmmmmm! I love this article. It's really interesting .

Alexander Thandi Ubani from Lagos on January 28, 2012:

Wow! You must ve schooled with a ph.D at the university of relationship. Quite outstanding, true, and amazing piece. It is a must read. Kudos.

Alana on January 28, 2012:

I have a bf & we've been together for 2 months but a week before my birthday he just suddenly started ignoring me & being a complete jerk! He said really hurtful things to me & when we broke up he was laughing about it but he always said he loved me & we got back together a week later & he said he only said those things because he was mad...I'm a freshman in highschool & sometimes he doesn't even talk to me after school & he doesn't even eat lunch with me,he doesn't walk me to class anymore;( He still kinda likes my best friend...& he told my other best friend (his ex gf) "if I could have u back I would but I'm with the LOVE OF MY LIFE ALANA!!!" idk if he really loves me or not? He says a lot of sweet things to me & he says he'll NEVER hurt me again,he says he wants to marry me in the future,but sometimes he listens to his friends not his heart...Sometimes if I have to text him 1st otherwise he probably wont text me;( I still love him but idk if he feels the same way about me? What do u think?

sayli on January 27, 2012:

hi guys m sayli my age is 21yer can u plz help me i don't know my bf is serious abot me or not m in relationship still 1year and 5month he age also 21 year he always fight with me but whenever i say him abt marrage he promis me abt marrage and my parents knows abt my relationship and my mom talk with him abt our relationship bt his family does not kno abt our relationship he told me i speak my parents abt its after few days when m doing something.... so plz tell me he is serious about me or not...?

ido on January 26, 2012:


Frankca taiye on January 18, 2012:

Pls help me out.l ve a bf now and he is working bout each time l ask him money he wil complan, dat he don't ve money .my question is donts dat yug ve pain for futurt.

sawin on January 16, 2012:

he does not love me ,its clear

AKASH on January 16, 2012:

very nice line it show that you have very deep knowledge of love and you also love some one...

xyz on January 16, 2012:

i think this gunna helf those gals who unknwgly falls in love...never knowing that they have been fooled by someones fake love...

nish9087 on January 13, 2012:

i really need help...i have a boyfriend which i have been dating for about 4 yrs now..he is really nice and he cares for me and loves me a lot but every time we talk about future he says he can see me being his wife but he also cannot because he doesn't know that if he can live with me day to day bases. I don't know if i should continue with my relationship with him or leave him? the only thing i would like to add is that i get more mad at him on daily bases then the other way around. we are still very young to get married but i want to know if i continue to date him do you think in future he could ask me out or his answer about our marriage will never change? i would appreciated if i can get some reply.


lucsy on January 12, 2012:

hi I don't know english very well but .. i want to say something about all this articals it nice ang good also . all most girls have same problems , i have also my b/f tell me that he loves me but he had a realation with other girls also with a sexually n iam mad i still love her what i do .. i don't know ,i don't want to leaven he flrting orhers girls also n tell me if u want to go then go but i don't change my nature.. and i alwys give money also .. atlest 40,000 i spent .. plss help me ..

katey on January 12, 2012:

So, im in a relationship, we have been dating for almost 3 months. Yeah, we are both really young and don't really know much about love, but who does? I really think that our relationship could go far, not because i want it to, but we both do. Can you tell me, he says he loves me before i do and he always tells me that he would protect me through anything. When a guy trys to flirt with me, he respectfully asks me if i can stay away from whoever it was. He always talks to me, and even when i tell him he can go hang out with his friends if he wants, he says no, i wanna be with you. Last time he said he loved me in person was when we were in front of all his friends and mine. He looked into my eyes and said i love you so much, i don't ever want to los you. Can you please tell me if this is true, or just him trying to get something from me? Thanks& great article!