Deborah is an enthusiastic fellow when it comes to marriage and relationship and like to help young couples get it right in their love life.
Long distance relationship is when your loved one is far away from you, geographically as a result of certain factors or conditions. Long distance relationship may be from any loved one; mother, father, sister, uncle and so on, but the most common that has more concern is the relationship between two persons in love.
Long distance relationships could occur as a result of some factors such as:
- Those who started out dating but circumstances made them to go to another geographical location either for studies, work, family or other urgent reasons.
- Those who started dating through online dating sites and do not live in the same city or country
What ever the factor could be, if long distance relationship is not handled with utmost maturity, it could lead to bad outcome, like heartbreak, low self-esteem, hatred towards the opposite gender and the likes.
The 1st factor has the chance to lead to separation if the person does not understand why his/her partner has to go in, as much as they are reasons evident. Whereas the 2nd factor has a chance to still blossom because at first, these two persons have never met before and look forward to meeting each other someday.
How to make long distance relationship last
Communicate: I guess this really is always the first point. Communication is using verbal and written ways to fulfill your partner’s need of attention. This makes sharing feelings, love and expectations even more adaptable and give a sense of love and importance. Communication is one of the solid rocks to keep relationships lasting. It builds the gap between hearts, and banish unwanted thoughts. There is always the reassurance that your partner loves you and is thinking about you.
Always create time for your partner no matter how busy you are. Set up a call and chat time. Send them a surprise love message, tell them how much you love them and just communicate, communicate and communicate.
Stay committed: Commitment is when the partners involved agree to support each other in terms of love, trust, honesty and respect to see that the relationship goes as they want it to be. Both parties are charged in their heart not to leave the relationship even in faces of tough circumstances and they have to understand where this relationship is heading to. Commitment to your partner helps to overcome other temptations that you may face outside your relationship such as opposite gender asking you out on dates. You know who you belong with and you just boldly say, ‘no.’
Do stuffs together: This is also another way to keep close to you partner. Doing stuffs together such as playing online games with each other, talking about a movie that you both finished watching the previous day, put video calls through and much more. You both will feel closer than you know it.
Stay confident: Now this is where a lot of people have it shaky. By the time their partner fails to call them at their agreed call time maybe just once because of a meeting, lecture or something, they begin to think of all kinds of negative thoughts. You are sure that this person will not cheat on you so keep that trust there. Judging the person when you are not there with them is not ideal. You don’t know what happened.
This is what most people do when they lose confidence in the relationship
- They compare their relationship with other people’s own.
- They fail to reach out as a way to punish their partner.
- They judge even before they listen.
- There is just a big choke up of jealousy.
- They tend to think negative thoughts and feel their partner don’t love them.
Staying confident builds your relationship trust and prevents misconceptions and doubts.
Set clear rules and boundaries: Rules are very important in a relationship. It helps to keep one in check. Setting rules in a relation will help your partner understand what you like and the behaviour you will not accommodate.
- Whether to hangout with male or female friends or just friends of the same gender.
- The kind of people who will visit you especially if you live alone.
- The call and checkup time.
And inasmuch as there are rules, there should be transparency between both parties. Tell the other what you are doing now and then, why you missed their calls, who visited you last Saturday, even down to who you are chatting with and why.
Set an end date: You may have decided to go away for 6 months, a year, 2 years. Let your specific away-date be what you said and reassure them that you are surely coming back to them.
Set an end date so there will not be doubt if the love is still burning
Long distance relationship is hard and has a lot of work and if not checked, it can leave the other person emotionally derailed. It takes patience, trust and commitment to see through it.
© 2022 Deborah Osadjere