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How to Break up Safely Without Hurting Our Partner

Young couple break up

Young couple break up

Oftentimes when someone facing unpleasant situations within the relationship with their partner, a feeling to breakup would arise in their mind. Boring with the partner, betrayal, uncomfortable anymore doing a long-distance relationship, to the abusive partner are some feasible negative states that can trigger the decision.

But sometimes the doubtful feeling about possibility that it would harm themselves or hurting their partner could even obstruct their intention to split up with their partner.

Some would possibly choose to stay in the bad relationship though the urge to break free is so strong!

So, how to have safe break up without hurting your partner?

Here are a few hints on how to break up and make all the matters simpler and easier on you and ex.

1. It's Advisable to Cultivate a Firm Determination First

If you somehow feel doubtful, it is feared that you can't efficaciously talk up all your heart and mind while the serious conversation is occurred. If needed, write down some moments which prompted you to end the relationship. Tell yourself that you're wanting this to happen. This can assist you to get the steady determination.

Break up intention

Break up intention

2. Prepare What You Want to Say

Put down any words that you're going to convey beforehand. Practicing it in front of a mirror would be great to find out an appropriate facial expression when you deliver your breakup purpose.

By being provident, you can gently give any acceptable responses if in fact, you get undesirable reactions.

3. Make Sure Your Partner Also Realizes That Your Relationship is Already in a Problem

It is better if you two has been understanding that there is an issue and know the root causes.

Both you have done the best efforts to solve the problem and find every way to safe this unionship to some extent where you eventually realize that it can not be repaired. Don't just come and say abruptly that you want to break up without any signs and causes.

Couple facing a problem

Couple facing a problem

Just make this moment as an official time to end the relationship, not for leveraging all of the problems that had happened or rearguing who're to be blamed or who has responsibility for the bad situation that happens.

4. Meet Your Partner in Person

Regardless of the reason that trigger you to split up, give respect for your partner and the relationship itself with your presence. Be mature and meet your associate, say you do not want to be life with them anymore (except for a reason that your associate has done fatally abused you or severely a cheater, would be better to avoid any contact with these kinds of people).

Don't end the relationship through just a text message. It's demeaning if your partner split you up with just a simple breakup message, right?

Couple meet to break up

Couple meet to break up

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With openly face to face conversation, will avoid misinterpretation, all things will be described clearly. If you are in an LDR and don't really have any ways to meet in place, you might need to phone/video call him/her.

Don't use social media chat to deliver your decision. Take note to make it smooth and run well without raising the "so not appreciating" feeling in your partner mind.

5. Find the Right Time

Make an appointment first, tell your partner that there's something you want him/her knows. To avoid they get in shock, let them having a hunch that it's a serious thing about a decision you will take for the relationship.

Ask an appropriate time to meet. It isn't wise if you deliver your break up intention when he/she feels sick or in the midst of their working hour or is doing any other important things.

It's undeniable that break up can become something awful to experience. Your partner would feel distressed, thus could ruin the success of their project because they must go the extra miles to face both situations, coping with the upset feeling while at the same time must finish their work

If this occurs, it's just going to hurt them more and make them blame you to the longer term! By coming across the proper time, with a bit of luck, it may lessen the pain and anxiety when they get the bad news.

6. Do it Privately in a Comfortable Place

Don't end relationships in public spaces, like parking area or in a cafe at lunch hour. If you did it in the crowd, you would get trouble on conveying all of the matters that your partner must understand.

Break up in front of other people will also make your partner feels insulted. You will be like smack them in the face if you let other people witnessing you ended them to be your lover!


Simply find out a neutral spot where there are no other folks that might recognise you two.

Additionally, don't do it in the place where sweet memories are ever achieved. Your partner would have a feeling that you're intentionally going to shatter their best memories into a truly worst memory!

7. Don't Bring Other People at the Moment

You may be more open and comfortable to talk when there's no other person around. However, if you think it's not safe to be with your partner (maybe he/she is a typical of temperament person which could be fired up easily) then you can choose to tell your decision in a mail or phone call. Clarify to them why the relationship ought to end.

But remember not to bring someone else which's in the past or in the current times, your partner felt suspicious about them (maybe your partner has wondered that the friend you bring is quietly paying attention on you).

A better choice is to ask any individual close to you who you feel for sure that your partner genuinely respects with, the wise person who usually become a reference each times you two got any problems in the relationship.


Indeed, it's hard to cut a relationship with someone we'd ever loved in the past. However, we could absolutely quit it with the right clarity and certainty.

And also, we should consider about how we want to be treated when someone we love comes to telling us that they want to end the relationship.

Everyone has feelings, even for a bad-tempered guy. So, when you want to break up with your partner and you don’t do it adequately, a hurt feeling or a revenge intention could undesirably arise in your partner’s mind!

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