Qualities of a Good Wife
Every man wants a good wife. In turn, many will often advise a new bride to be a good wife to her new husband. What does this mean, exactly? What are the makings of a good or perfect wife? Most of these qualities are already present in a woman, while the rest can be learned or developed.
In India, the qualities of a good wife or the six noble virtues an ideal wife should have are summed up in the verse from Neethisaram: "Karyeshu Dasi, Karaneshu Manthri; Bhojeshu Mata, Shayaneshu Rambha, Roopeshu lakshmi, Kshamayeshu Dharitri, Shat dharmayukta, Kuladharma Pathni"
Below in this article, find 12 tips on being a good wife.
How to Be a Good Wife: Keeping the Man Happy
I am a film believer that what you give is what you get in return as far as human behavior is concerned. So if you are a good wife to your husband and treat him right, he will cherish, love, and nurture you in return.
Want to know how to keep your husband happy? Here are 12 qualities a man looks for in his wife.
- Be pleasant. As mentioned already, we should treat others the way we want to be treated. That being said, never be rude to your husband, family, and friends. Try to be warm, kind, positive, understanding, and friendly. Actively work to be pleasant toward your husband. Don’t be that person who lashes out at others because you had a bad day. Welcome your husband with a smile when he comes home. A good wife honors her hubby by keeping a pleasant tone in her voice, a happy smile on her face, and a neat and clean appearance. Listen to him talk about his day, especially if it was a difficult one. If you don't like how your partner treats you, take a minute to observe how you treat your partner and try correct your behavior.
- Treat him with respect. If you expect respect from others. we need to treat others in return with respect too. Haven’t we all heard "Give respect and take respect?" Respect can be reflected in the way one talks and behaves. Always speak in a loving way and refrain from speaking in a harsh manner. A good wife respects her hubby. She never chooses to belittle, strike, humiliate, or otherwise harm him in private or in public. It is better to watch what you say and think before speaking, as it is not possible to take back the words once they are said. A good wife will treat her man with respect in front of others and at home.
- Communicate. Communication is the key to a good and solid marriage. Do not hide things or keep secrets from your husband. Be honest. Find time to sit and talk with him on a daily basis, even if it is for only half an hour. If you let things bottle up and feel that you cannot share with your husband, then your marriage is in trouble. Be a good listener. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but allow him to talk first. Don't greet him with complaints and problems the moment he comes back from work. Good communication also helps to build trust and strengthen your relationship. The wife and husband are a team or partners. Do not make any major decisions about the family without consulting with husband. Fights or problems may happen, but do not let the world know about it. Rather, you should try to solve it between yourselves as partners. The fight you had last week over shopping or whatever is over and done with. So try to move on with it and stop rehashing the past and reminding him of his faults. Do not resort to name calling, hitting, spitting, breaking dishes, or anything else when you lose your temper. If you do, he may actually start to fall out of love with you and you could lose him all together. Always communicate with words and a calm mind. Breathe before you decide to act on your temper.
- Be supportive. A husband expects his wife’s support and understanding, especially in troubled. A good wife loves her hubby for his successes and failures, and provides reassurance when he's feeling down. She is a nurturer and an equal partner in the marriage. Support him in all stages of his career and life. Do not belittle your man or hurt his ego. It is often said that "a wife can make or break a man." There’s no quicker way to build resentment in your man than to criticize him or belittle him, especially in front of others. Be proud of him on his accomplishments and genuinely compliment him. You can then expect him to behave in return in the same manner and also respect you more for your support and thoughtfulness. If you don’t agree with him, respectfully let him know you don’t agree with a healthy conversation.
- Do not nag. No man likes a nagging wife. Ask him nicely. Many wives think that nagging is the only way to get her husband to do things. The truth is that your nagging can create an unwanted rift, or can make things worse between the two of you. Your husband is a grown man with his own thoughts and desires. Just because you think he should be doing something particular doesn't mean he has to do it.
- Give him his space. As a wife, it's important to understand that your husband has a life that's more than you. He has a family, friends, and colleagues who are also part of his life. He also may have hobbies and passions he is involved in. Don’t expect his undivided attention at all times. Don’t stop him if he wants to go out and hang out with his friends sometimes or engage in a hobby or sport that he likes. An interfering wife can sometimes be very irritating.
- Keep him happy in bed. Sexual intimacy is one of the most essential things in any marriage. When you please your man, he will be obliged to please you in return. Please your man in bed. If you cannot keep your man happy in bed, he may go where he can get it elsewhere. After all, a man is a man! According to research, one major reason why men cheat is mostly physical, whereas for a woman it is emotional.
- Plan surprises. Men like surprises too. It can be anything, from organizing his birthday party without him knowing about it or planning a special night of passion by playing a seductress. Your surprises do not have to be elaborate and can be as simple as making him his favorite snack or any of his favorite dishes once in a while, even if you would rather eat something else.
- Express your love and appreciation often. Men likes praises and appreciation. Make the most of your time together. Men like to hear the words "I love you" too. Also, try to join him in activities that he's interested in, even if you prefer to do something else. Give him a thoughtful gift once in a while. Make it a point never to forget the special days in his life. Pamper him often, especially when he is home. You can cook for him or give him a massage. Making him dependent on you by doing his chores when he is at home is not a bad idea either. Let him miss you and think about you when you are not around. These gestures won’t go unnoticed, and it may even inspire him to do something nice for you. Don't withhold affection.
- Be honest, loyal, and dedicated. A good wife is honest, loyal, and dedicated to her husband. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and the vows you have taken at the time of marriage should be kept up at all times.
- Keep up your health and appearance. A good wife honors her hubby by keeping a pleasant tone in her voice, a happy smile on her face, and a neat and clean appearance. Take special care of your appearance, not just for him but for yourself. Include exercises or yoga in your daily routine to stay healthy. Be hygienic. Some woman feel that once they are married why they should dress up or take care of their appearance — this isn't true, and if you do it you should also do it because it makes yourself feel good too and that makes your husband happy also. A man also likes his wife to smell good. If you are unhealthy or not presentable, your man may start looking elsewhere.
- Maintain the house. Maintain a clean house all the time. Clear away the clutter and spend time decorating the house. Apart from this, be wise with money and take all the responsibilities of a wife seriously without complaining too much.
Do you want a good husband who will love and cherish you? Then treat him exactly the way you want him to treat you. If you want your husband to treat you like a queen, you should treat him like a king. In this modern world where most wives also work, the above advice may not be fully practical. But at least some effort can be put into exercising these tips in practice. If you are working, you may want to hire a maid to take care of the household chores of cooking, cleaning, and so forth.
I am sure any man would be happy to get a good wife with all the above-listed qualities. Also, I have some advice for the men who were overjoyed seeing this article. Remember: Marriage is a two-way street, there are two people in this relationship, and you have to play your role as well if you expect your wife to be an ideal one.
Have I left anything out? Please feel free to add comments.
WORLD'S BEST WIFE | A Good Wife
- How to be a good Husband to your Wife?
If you are looking for the Qualities of an Ideal Husband, you have come to the right place. This Hub talks about 11 Qualities of a Perfect Husband.
© 2009 Anamika S Jain
Shadi Mangalam on October 11, 2018:
Useful article for wives about how to treat with her hubby. I want to ask you something if you permitted that what should I do if my husband doesn't give same respect and same pleasantness to me which I'm always giving to him?
Robelyn Yambao from Costa Rica on May 22, 2018:
Most men don't want to be instructed what to do, so wives out there please don't tell your husband to do this or to do that like a boss. This hub is really a good guide for wives to take care of their husband and make him happy. Great work!
JUDITH OKECH from NAIROBI - KENYA on November 11, 2017:
Very good points there. One other thing I have noticed men really hate is constantly referring to his relatives mistakes. I know of a few cases and it never ends up well. He knows they have flaws so only talk when absolutely necessary, after all everyone has flaws.
Kenya Averette from Detroit, MI on November 08, 2017:
Great advice! thanks
Princey6sams on July 29, 2017:
So women can look at all the men they want to but guys can't?
Deborah Demander from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD on March 21, 2016:
These are all great tips.
Thanks for writing.
Disillusioned from Kerala, India on December 31, 2014:
Really very useful writing.
Dominicka on March 27, 2014:
Thank you sooooo much for this article. Im going to marry an indian guy and i love him madly too much. But we had a lot of fights because of differences. Im so happy to read your article, so I can be his best wife. I really appreciate whatever you have written.
rashmirjois on October 24, 2013:
Thank You So Much for the article.Your article is really precious conveying beautiful thoughts , I pray that God Bless You With Your Heart's Content...
Whenever I get angry on Mom in law and husband ,I come and read this article , I feel really good and relieved ... This article has been something like God has itself come down to console me ... :)
SHAR NOR from Miami, FL on April 07, 2013:
This is Cool. I am glad that the author must be a woman and hoping that women will have some good thing to learn. As a husband, I really liked this Hub and have to say that THANK YOU.
Ranjeet30 on July 22, 2012:
Excellent! I liked the above article and wish pray to the almighty god to get a wife with all the above qualities.I surely will who'll be my life partner till end.
birdman1969 from Nashville, TN on July 05, 2012:
Your article is ABSOLUTE truth and your are a very blessed woman to know this. I wish I could find a woman who believes in these truths and I would be the happiest man on Earth!
savisachu on June 04, 2012:
it gives lot of confidence and inner peace when we read this article, though many things we know we really don't put to work..i will try to work out all these exercise...
dochus on May 25, 2012:
my wife spits at my face
Debra50 from Coos Bay on May 16, 2012:
Marriage can be great.You have to get to know each other first before,you get married.Your likes,dislikes,turn-ons or turn-offs.Communication is the key.Our looks and bodies will change as we get older it's a part of life for men or women.I've always said Love, Honor ...Negotiate. Being a Faithful Wife or Husband is important.Choose your Husband or Wife wisely your happiness depends on it.
iamindian on May 13, 2012:
this article is primitive
Malik Asjid Ali on April 28, 2012:
its really a good information for newly couple
yayaa on April 25, 2012:
This is a very good information.by reading this i have come to aware that im not being a good wife.im really thankful for the the writer and may god bless her.she gave me the advice im in need of most.thankyou very much.
qamar on April 24, 2012:
is very good knowledge
Megan on April 24, 2012:
I really like this article. I want to be able to surprise my man as much as possible, and do things that keeps him on his toes. Being together as long as we have its hard sometimes to do that. So thanks-
manish kothari on April 23, 2012:
i hope you will find the way to go in more deep towards this subject doing good, keep it up!
Only Two Issues on April 22, 2012:
#1 In the good husband list I don't see an equivalent prepare yourself with a warning your wife may cheat on you behind you back if you don't do this.
Some wifes consider attraction important and even lose sexual desire because their husbands aren't preparing themselves.
#2 The please him sexually and he's obliged to please you too seems like glorified prostitution if you're not talking about please him sexually & he's obligated to please you sexually.
It's telling that how you state if you can't please your man happy with sex or if you lose your looks by being unhealthy or not presentable he may cheat as he's a man.
To me that's quite a low depiction of men you have here concerning their loyalty and respect for marital vows. Some men do consider possibilities other than adultery if they're not getting the sexual intimacy they want-
they may find out what problems in the marriage have led to the couple growing apart in other ways than sexually, which may make them want to be more sexually intimate
the husband finding out how his own behavior is putting his wife off sex with him
This please him or he'll cheat because he's a man makes it seem as if sex isn't some shared pleasant experience but some obligated duty done to fulfill a need. It seems more like rather than having sex with your wife it's about having sex with your wife's body. Or rather sex with a female body as if the body is interchangeable since he'll cheat if she's not pleasing him.
Jackson on April 22, 2012:
For those who are opposed the tenets of the article, please read the qualities of a good husband by the same author. As many of you have pointed out, it as matter of give and take. However the give and take has to start from somewhere. Without such information many will fail to take advantage of the changing circumstances in relationship and even confuse the good will extended to them as some form of manipulation and fail to give in even where it is required thinking that such a behaviour condemns them to slavery. Let us allow ourselves to be accurate thinkers rather than emotional reactionaries.
nomsa on April 13, 2012:
those are the roots, we grew up knowing that a man should be respected regardless of what he has, but now we have too much rights even to disrespect our husband. thanks for the lovely article we needed to hear that!!!
LadyWolf25 on April 08, 2012:
Some of these qualities are very good and gave me some good ideas how to improve on my marriage. However, I have tried many of these things since I was raised in the belief that a wife catered to her family first. However I must emphasize that there are some selfish men out there that will take advantage of their wives if shown such pampering. I work a 10 hour day and I'm gone from the house for nearly 12 hrs a day, granted my husband is too but there isn't much time to communicate like suggested above. Sometimes it is very hard to do any of the things listed above and I've found I've been breaking my back lately to try and make our marriage better and it has just been getting worse. I'm getting blamed for our bad communication and things that are logical in my mind don't make sense to him and we get in fights. So let me tell you ladies: marriage is hard work and sometimes spending all your spare time pampering your husband may not pay off in turn. If he isn't returning favors and blaming you for things and making you feel like you don't know anything and your logic is skewed he's not worth your time. You deserve better.
QueenOfTheHouse from Raleigh, NC on April 07, 2012:
What a wonderful hub on a very important topic!
Dibyasikha dhir samant on April 05, 2012:
Thank u very much. i love it and excellent advice.
roshni on April 01, 2012:
good article...but who the hell says...if u don't give it to him..he's bound to get it somewhere else???...that is utter crap..you're talkin marriage for BOTH!...not loyalty for one..get your facts right!
cheryl on March 30, 2012:
Hi!!!im cheryl I read from your site tips on how to become a good wife. . .Im too younger to become a wife. . .Hopefully this could help me motivate and keep relationship last. . . thanks. . . can you send me other tips from my account on facebook. . .Cheryl Paliga.
dorcas on March 30, 2012:
This is good information that will help most women improve on their marriages.
cozycath on March 29, 2012:
I'm very glad AND HAPPY THAT ALL THIS COMMENT COMING FROM A WIFE LIKE ME.BUT IN MY CASE HOW CAN I BE A GOOD WIFE to MY HUSBAND If he IS NOT HERE BESIDE me.I KNOW OUR COMMUNICATION WAS THROUGH SKYPE AND THERE's no days that we haven't talk or if he can't talk to me in skype bec. there's no internet he will call me in my cp. I'm so happy even we are far
from each other we know that our communication will be there always.But sometimes I feel confused what if he did something like having affair to someone how would I know?I found out in a facebook he had someone beside him a girl he told to me it was just a friend how will I know if it is a friend if almost all his picture to that girl is there and the bag of the girl is with him he said he put something on her bag is it that excuse or they have an affair, I fell confused right now I don't know if I will agree to his explanation pls. help me what will I do?
Lynn on March 25, 2012:
Coming from someone who grew up in the US and am currently in the UK, I'm quite frankly appalled at the so claimed "modern, western, women" These traits are indeed relevant in today's society. I agree with all of the points you have made and I don't understand how these women can be offended by you suggesting that it is respectable to respect your husband. Who can argue that respect is a bad thing? Yes, I recognise that many women have less conventional roles within the marriage. But so many of these self-proclaimed feminists condemn those of us who still believe in being loyal to our husbands and taking care of them any way that we can. I don't understand those who wouldn't want to do anything they can to make their partner happy or criticise those who do. I am not stuck in the past, I am not enslaved by my husband, and I am a strong, intelligent, young women. But I am also loyal to my husband and care for him so much I do everything I can to make him comfortable and happy. In return, he respects and admires me and treats me as though I'm a princess.
Anon on March 20, 2012:
Feminista: Obvious feminist is obvious. So what, taking care of your man and putting effort into being a good wife is sexist or something? Get the hell back in the kitchen, scrub a few dishes and think about what you did.
Feminista on March 20, 2012:
Thanks for sending us back to the 1930s. You've inspired me to give up my right to vote.
Married 5yrs on March 20, 2012:
I too agree with the person who wrote this article, its not that all blame is put on women or that women have to work extra hard to make things work, its because God made women emotionally stronger than man and women can endure a lot ie(childbirth). All good things starts with a women, men need direction and guidance and thats were we come in, they need pictures drawn for them, they don't know things on instinct as we do. If you look at the Biblical times, this is how couples were then and today, we want to make excuses,like this is modern times, if we all could be like the women in biblical times, our marriages would last a lifetime and not 2-5-10 yrs and then you divorce, its very rare that you find couples who are till death do us part. Just take on your role sincerley and you will see, your man will take your lead and if you do have a good man, it will be better and for those who feel there men will never change, because they are who or what they are, then you not praying hard enough, you are not living with God, because like the saying goes,a family that prays together stays together and even the worst of people can reform. Thanks to the one who wrote this for sharing. Take care and God Bless.
Enzo on March 14, 2012:
I find some comments here very foolish and daft. working or not working. it is just an advice on how to treat each other. The fact that one is a working wife does not mean she cannot treat her husband with respect. a lot of women on here condemning the article. i bet you, few years down the line you will live in regret or unhappiness because your husband cheated on you or walked out. That is the problem of the world today, no sense of morality or respect. And as she has stated, there is one written for men also, and as far as I can understand, there is nothing in this article that stops a working lady to act appriopriately. Face it, treating people with respect does not mean you will be taken for a mug. and the western culture has promoted celebrity garbage for so long you fail to realise that the recipy for a broken home is to do opposite of what is written here. It is so shocking that you think this cannot be done because of work or other thing. This article promotes good moral and treating others how you want to be treated. I would really love to see the home or marriage of those comdemning the article and especially that lady that said she know how to find a man and keep him. wonder how many men have you been finding?
priya on March 13, 2012:
This is very nice and good advice to all womens.
RITAH. on March 08, 2012:
In indeed i didn't know some but now i have known . Thanks a lot its really good GOD bless u dear.
Sumeet Singh on March 03, 2012:
Well I read your article it's quite appealing and good. But I want your advice on something. As if wife behavior towards me was good she loved me cared for me. Recently she had a trip to India and she has totally changed. She nags me irritates me whatever I say she goes opposite to it help.
Pari on March 01, 2012:
Seriously? If this is the kind of advice you're going to give men, what ever happened to 'treating a woman with respect, and being there for her when she needs you?' Forget the US, your article is not even applicable to the current Indian scenario! From what I know, women in India are now expected to work, make the bucks, look after kids, and deal with flak from the in-laws. Being a woman yourself, I think you should stop sending the wrong signal to men out there -- advocate respect toward women and mutual trust and understanding. A woman is allowed to have a bad day too and her man should be there for her. Not somewhere else cheating with another woman!
uma on February 29, 2012:
Thank you ANAMIKA..this is very helpful to me,as i want to be a good wife to my Hubby...Thank you so much ANAMIKA..I LIKE THIS ARTICLE..
Fiker on February 24, 2012:
I really loved your advices. I do agree that all of them work well. I love my husband and I want to see him happy. I'll try all and see surprising changes.
Dorothy on February 20, 2012:
All the men must be smiling after reading this! Not a bad recipe for a good marriage if the man is also a good husband, it takes two in marriage remember?
Sabrina on February 18, 2012:
Wow !! I guess this would work for a woman living in Iran or something. Where I am from women have an education and careers. I have never had any issue finding or keeping a man. I am very independent though...I don't really need a man to be happy. The men I know are attracted to independent women. I know a girl who resembles this article and she is miserable . She can't find or keep a man. All her boyfriends treat her like a doormat. I am happily married and my husband treats me like a person ...not a maid or a slave. You could learn a lot from western women.
Anamika S Jain (author) from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on February 08, 2012:
@Sharon Indians give so much value to relationships that even now you would see the joint family systems where all family members stay under the same roof amicably.Thanks for the visit and comment.
Sharon Smith from Northeast Ohio USA on February 07, 2012:
Hi Anamika ~ although I realize you are writing from your experience with Indian culture, everything here is important for any loving relationship to grow. For many years, I have been friends with business associates who are of Indian culture here in the states. I have always admired this couple for their respect of each other and their entire families. Family comes first, period. A couple summers ago, I attended the graduation party of their eldest son. I learned even more about the culture by attending this event. I was amazed and I even loved the music too.
Cindy Murdoch from Texas on February 06, 2012:
Although I am Christian, Your words are wise indeed. A man is a man is a man. Most men have the same needs, wants and desires no matter the culture. I believe this to be a great hub for two people who are important to each other and who have a healthy relationship.
ROKGame on February 04, 2012:
As a married man I think this article is very appealing to the ideals of marriage as a male would see it. With that said I do not think these are descriptive but prescriptive in that they can enhance the compliemntary nature of marriage. Marriage is a life project. Perfect spouses do not get married, but marriage molds the perfect spouse. I also do not think this applies to the worse case-scenario (abuse, affairs, etc) category of this as those areas require more than just lifestyle adjustments but serious third party intervention.
Vern on February 02, 2012:
Face it... Men simply cheat. Not ALL men, but those who do, simply do. It doesn't matter if they're fully sextisfied at home, they still do.
How many men who have read this article went on to read "How to be a good husband" and learnt even ONE aspect of it? Not many I reckon.
I am the sole breadwinner and I still do all the chores, try to look my best, try to be sweet... but he plays computer games all day, takes money from me, verbally abuses me, disrespects me, CHEATS ON ME and refuses to look for a job. I offer him my help in fixing up his CV and getting him a job, but he takes it as an insult? He promised to stop cheating but he still hasn't...
After all this time I've started feeling that loving him is a big mistake. HIS mother thinks I have pampered him TOO MUCH. I blame it on my soft hearted-ness that I still haven't stepped out the door..
Nahid on January 31, 2012:
benita on January 21, 2012:
Looking for a proposal this year
Saloni on January 18, 2012:
How backward are we? Imagine- My husband divorced me because I didn't clean the house!
Jen on January 17, 2012:
Nice tips but it helps most when both respect and love each other. The husband should make his wife equally happy too!!! Marriage takes two to make it work.
Pradeep on January 17, 2012:
As some of us have already pointed out, the man should also subject himself to a set of rules to build a happy marriage/family. We must not overlook the context and possible deeper meanings:
1. If a woman is looking for a happy marriage and successful family, then this article provides some time-tested tools. Just because the article focuses on tips for a wife/woman, we can't jump to the conclusion that the author thinks men are free to do what they wish. The author just chose to focus on highlighting the tools women have.
2. Saying that men should equally and automatically share responsibilities without having to be told, is somewhat ideal and does not recognize reality or human nature. It's similar to saying employees have to fulfill all their responsibilities just because they're being paid a base salary. While some employees may do well regardless of reward, most of us expect additional incentives for motivation. Hence companies/managers use potential promotions, bonuses, pay hikes, etc. as tools to motivate their employees and bring out the best in them. A smart woman, first recognizes that she is or needs to be the manager of the home, and then identifies and uses the set of tools available to her to bring out the best in her man and family.
3. A good manager realizes that his/her primary responsibility is to identify the needs of the team, and to help it reach its potential. The manager can choose to simply focus on self-advancement, do nothing to help team members grow and reach maximum potential, and throw a fit when expectations are not met - by doing this, the manager may become individually successful, but usually doesn't bode well for the team, and certainly can't be called a "good manager." If the wife's goal is marriage/family success, then she may choose to use tools listed here to get her closer to the goal.
4. Happiness usually involves struggle, pleasure doesn't. Learning to apply soft skills is always big challenge. Anybody who's truly good with soft skills, must consider themselves lucky, and that person may already be happy at home. For the vast majority of us, it's a struggle. So trying to manage another person of different make up (man vs. woman, different family background, different interests and goals) is definitely more than a struggle. The tips here are tools to make the struggle manageable, and will hopefully bring happiness. Also, while the wife keeps at it, if the husband has been bad, he might begin to realize it and make his own amends. If the husband has already been good, he may get better, and family can focus on better things.
sara on January 17, 2012:
This was a good hub, can you add something else? my husband doesn't like to go outside with me.
Anyanwu Bright on January 16, 2012:
I agree with ur article loaded with educative info, u most be a kind of person every understanding partner is looking out for. U are a blessing to this generation, keep it up & God bless u.
SAI OBODAI on January 12, 2012:
IN DEED EVERY GIRL WHO WANTS TO BE A GOOD WIFE MUST KNOW ALL THESE FACTS.
suneethab on January 10, 2012:
It was very good,i felt that it has bee written for me it's very use full to me becoz I'm newly marriaged.few things like nagging and feeling that i want undevided attention form him,i really forgot that he also has family & frind his entrest,It was good leason for me sorely i will follow this .thank u once again.
macy on January 09, 2012:
thank very much i love it..)
Monique Vsand on January 06, 2012:
Does this work for women in the 21st century? Seriously?
meg on January 06, 2012:
thanks for posting this.We married women sometimes forget this. This will always remind me to be a good wife. Bookmarked!
Melvin ( India ) on January 04, 2012:
Trust me. If every woman had even half of these qualities, the would would have been a lot peaceful.
andrew on January 01, 2012:
this is good to read especially to teenagers...
somebody else on December 28, 2011:
those are very good qualities, and for those who disagree, you're missing the point. don't get the wrong idea that you women are forced to be like that. you have to do it sincerely. plus, in a relationship,both men and women should give and 'give' actually. give without expectations. because in an ideal relationship where both sides are giving, then both shall eventually receive. this is not slavery to women, it is just a guide. men to should work hard. just don't misunderstand things.
lovely me on December 23, 2011:
i love these tips it may actually work ..most people forget how to treat their hubby
Michael on December 23, 2011:
I'm very happy to hear this. I've read it because i want to save my relationship and my fiancé is great, but she lacks a couple of things. It interesting that you mention the importance of respect. I honor and cherish her, but she lacks a couple of these tips. I too will take these values and apply them with her. I'm just needing for her to mature to this why of being for our union. Take care and I hope to read more of your articles.
Nicky on December 22, 2011:
I m a girl 20 yrs old from a typical Indian background. Going 2 b married nd wanted 2 b a gd wife nd so visitd d site.
Bt now totally confused.
Bt as per my Indian senses say, she is 90% true.
Nd those commentors plz don't discourage Indian values nd our rich culture
betty faith on December 18, 2011:
This is indeed the key a woman should hold thigh to achieve a lasting relationship...thanks for those words.
praying for u... on December 13, 2011:
I was commenting on the original article of what a "good wife is". I too have a wonderful husband and he would never expect me to be the type of "servant" this article implies a good wife should be.
happily_married on December 12, 2011:
This is complete garbagage. Any healthy and happy relationship is based on mutual love and respect! My husband does not expect me to simply take care of him! And I do not expect him to be a bread winner! We do things for each other because we love and care for each other! We both have full time jobs and other responsibilities outside of marriage, but marriage is a partnership. I love and appreciate my husband and everything he does for me, just as he loves and respects me. We are best friends and love each other as we are! I wouldn't change anything about our relationship! And men will be men?! Really?!?! So it is perfectly acceptable for a man to be unfaithful? This article puts all blame on the wife! PARTNERSHIP!!! Does not work that way. Two people are either compatible or they aren't. No amount of compliments, pampering, or pleasing your man in bed will make a bad relationship work. This advice is completely impractical.
chose_poorly on December 11, 2011:
Married to a woman who can't keep a home, spends most of her free time watching videos on her iphone or laptop, and is now almost devoid of passion. Choose your wife wisely. It may feel good and even chivalrous taking care of her during courtship and early in your relationship, but it will only lead to resentment in the future.
Respecturman on December 10, 2011:
Commenting on "Praying for you" was that for this column or what you read above your post that would have been mine?
Also, I do not know yours. A Good Husband is my husband. If you want a list I will give it too you. If you didn't mean to speak to me than I am sorry. But she has a lot of good things to say but I think it does need to be clarified a bit because some men can really push this thing and demand respect. Which is wrong. So some men might read this and say see I told you. we need to be adults and really find out what kind of relationship we are getting in our lives and our children depend on it. But we do need to pray and have faith that our God will give us strength. Being in a lifelong relationship is hard and it is not a laughing matter. We need to stop pointing fingers like little kids and face up to what we are doing I have to do it everyday it's a part of growing up. Its life,its sacrifice and its hard. But the benefits are worth it.
I have been married 12 years have two kids with my husband he is ex military 2 deployments. I have probably cryed and prayed myself to sleep for half of it. But we are going strong.
Peace be with you.
Praying for you... on December 09, 2011:
So sad that you feel that's what a good wife is. It says a lot about you and how you see yourself. Can you please tell me what you think a "Good Husband" is? Very interested in knowing your ideas on that one considering what I've just read. Thanks.
maryam on December 08, 2011:
i appriciate all d advice.but in a case where your fiancy is disturbed by another girl,d girl is always calling is cell phone aways.what would you do?are you going to live him or what.
:) on December 05, 2011:
No man or woman has the right to cheat on their partner… and both partners should treat each other with respect and be “pleasant.” A man is not an animal driven by instincts he can control himself…
Little Miss on December 03, 2011:
"You may have a dozen important things to tell him but allow him to talk first."
The only part I take issue with. Just because your husband is a man doesn't mean that he is saying is more important.
hdfhgf on December 03, 2011:
Although a lot of this is true... please, the part about a man will go get it somewhere else? No point in marrying that man. Is this dumb as rocks or something? It's the same with men. Their not going to marry a cheating women. Holy smokes...
Amarpreet kaur on December 02, 2011:
Good Article Keep writing and make others life pleasant this is a noble cause God Blessings for u.
Emily on November 30, 2011:
I am shocked a woman wrote this. I am last in line to sing, "I am woman, hear me roar," but this one snippet: "If you cannot keep your man happy in bed he would go where he can get it. After all, a man is a man!" was pretty shocking.
If a man feels the need to go where he can get it, by all means, please... GO! I would rather be a single cat lady than have a man I am forced to have sex with out of fear that I'll be thrown to the side. You are essentially saying that's the only thing a woman is good for... why else would he stick around?
If that's how you'd like to live your life, go for it. But I demand a lot more respect than that!
Rowena on November 27, 2011:
Was this written in 1950s ?
hannah on November 27, 2011:
Feeling hopeful thanks to ur article!
lucia on November 25, 2011:
This is disgusting - This is the problem with men today, they expect the world and treat their women terribly
MANAV on November 24, 2011:
Please donot take negative responses seriously. People who are Indians and Who believe in the Indian Culture will actually believe in this. This is no Slavery, this aint any naiveness. It's just the ancient Indian culture which has helped the Indians to prove the world what the essence of woman is !!!
Such a wonderful environment is seen with my parents. My mother looks towards my Father like God. My father has even proved himself to be the God of my family. I only wish I were like my Father in terms of getting a GOOD WIFE, and leading a PEACEFUL LIFE.
But alas, every man doesn't have the luck to get such a woman.
It's a common saying that "BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL MAN THERE IS A WOMAN", Definitely if the woman is like as is said then the man would be living in peace and he would be successful.
But if the woman sticks to her urge to get equal or more status than the man in her house then I wonder what's gonna happen with that man. In today's world such woman are rarely to be found, hence the men are endangered if they are looking for a happy married life. An unsatisfied woman can never be a good homemaker. The men now a days face great challenges in getting a good job, then again for getting good increaments and then for good promotions why so??? because they want to earn more to keep their family happy. Now when he returns home after the day long tiredness and he finds his housewife quarreling with him for equality then the relationship starts distorting.
I request every women in India to please follow the indian culture. That is the only thing why the world cares about us !!! The western nations are in fact trying to possess more of our culture in them the reason being they want to save their families from getting distorted. But what we are doing is just trying to be absurd with our culture and criticise it and damage our environment.
Please people donot ever think about such things. Let the man take the pain of earning. You take very good care of his house, be his and this is the best way you actually can support him, by giving him peace of mind.
MANAV on November 23, 2011:
Anamika ji whatever you have written if those are your thoughts then I think ther person who you marry will be the World's Luckiest Person. Many women wont agree to this and many may state it as Slavery, but the bottom line is women not abiding by what you have written do face a broken marriage.
My wife doesn't do even a single of these things.
1. She doesnot secure by secrets, conveys everything to her mom.
2. She doesnot respect my mom and quarrals with her every time.
3. I like playing computer games but she doesnot allow me to touch my laptop at home.
4. She always keeps nagging me for petty things after I return from the office at night.
5. Her mother getting know every secret from our house comes to our house and has an arrogant quarral with my mom regarding everything.
6. She cooks only rice without dal, and I have to cook the curry and dal for her after I return from office at night.
7. She never lets me sleep in peace, disturbs me at night by singing songs till she feels asleep.
8. She doesn't like to communicate with my friends or family friends.
9. She is always rough with her behavior and she and her her mother wants me to leave my parents and look after her family(her maternal family).
10. She never washes any clothes or never takes care of the house. I have to do it on sundays. Things are kept on the bed and the space below the bed is always choked with trash, polythenes, bottles etc.
11. The kitchen is no good than a horse stable.
12. I return from office, cook food, serve it, wash dishes and then go to bed, she'll be quarreling with me for an hour, then she'll be forcing me to talk to her nicely after all that and then if I am lucky I can have sex with her.
My life has become pathetic, she dropped my child without asking me, I cannot keep her nor tolerate her, but due to the completely biased INDIAN LAWS I am bound to bend before her because she can cause great damage to me without any proof, and I cannot even charge her for something without concrete proof.
I am giving a good thought to commit suicide. Please keep looking the news channels to find out what happened to me.
with lots of respect,
WHAT? on November 20, 2011:
ummmm.......is it 1940? I actually have an article from the 40's that sounds just like this. It was sent to me as a gag! Any women that waits on her husband like this and never concentrates on anything other then pleasing him is crazy! A marriage is made up of TWO people and both should be equally responsible for upholding it and making one another happy! Don't we women deserve respect, thoughtfulness, love, and devotion. If my man ran off and cheated on me because I didn't clean the house or always greet him with a smile, basically be his slave....then I'd have to say he was a POS and i deserve better!
Younglove20 on November 20, 2011:
This is a great article! I have been married to my hubby for 10 years. We married when we were 20 years old. As an American woman we are taught to stand up and keep our man in line. So most of us do that with arrogance, forcefulness, and pride. Your loving advice seems so natural ad polite. Why don we ever think to actually do what the bible teaches is about marriage. We have certainly lost our way. I love this article and the one about being a good husband. It certainly comes down to treat your husband like a king, and he will treat you like a queen. Everyone will be happy! :) thank you!
Oh and you are very right to say 'A man is a man' if you arent giving him what he needs in the bedroom he will desire it elsewhere. Plain and simple. That doesn't mean all men are dirtbags, or that you need to perform on command, it simply means be attentive to his sexual desires (which you should have investigated prior to marriage) and give home what you know he likes/wants. Too many if us withhold sex as a punishment or form of control. It's not right, and we will eventually get what he needs, if not from you, from someone else.
Thank you! My hubby will appreciate this article!
Adelaide on November 17, 2011:
I think every single wife needs to read this, and its an individual decision on what to take. Personnaly, it has strengthened and enlightens my ways! So, so beautifully so, thank you! Being a good wife, makes your man a good husband coz part of being a good wife, is praying for your husband. Thanks again!
you on November 16, 2011:
this is absolutely ridiculous!
Point 7 - so if you are married and he isn't satisfied he will go elsewhere? Do you not have any clue about marriage and just go cheat on your wife?
This is absolutely absurb and you may want to listen to some of the comments on here and perhaps edit this whole section and welcome yourself in to the real world where marriage is about equality!
me on November 16, 2011:
A husband s do his part or the wife will find another man to spend all het time on
Not real marriage advice on November 16, 2011:
The way to be a good wife is to be a good person and marry a good man. There is no trick or key or traits. If both people are good people who communicate and are honest the marriage will work. Life isn't as simple as this article or the few points it lists.
khushboo on November 16, 2011:
anamika u r telling true but i have done this all but my life is still bad he don't loves me always taunt me i m in great trouble plz help me iwant his love and attention
khollyyyyyyyyyy on November 16, 2011:
thanxs a lot im working toward of rebuilding my marrage
paul on November 15, 2011:
my wife is so boring and uninteresting! what my wife can do for me is leave me alone. don't talk to me just don't bother me.
Swetie on November 12, 2011:
from today i am going to change myself for my sweet husband he is so sweet actully soooo sweet i love him very much . i love you sunny
Dave on November 11, 2011:
This is my Girlfriend and soon to be my wife. She is everything you describe and more. I am so thankful for her. I was writing a paper on this subject and in doing research I came across this website. There is allot of good info there. One thing I do know is we are who we are. If these traits don't come naturally, then even though they try to act this way at first. Who they are naturally will come out eventually. After many years of dating, in & out of relationships. I finally found a wonderful woman. The funny thing is I've known her for 27 yrs, I just never thought she'd date me. Let alone marry me. She felt the same about me. Thank God we figured it out.
WONDERINGWHY on November 10, 2011:
You can do all of these wonderful things but get no results if you're with an unappreciative,self-centered manipulator
Amanda on November 09, 2011:
Sounds like a man wrote this !!!
Lsmith on November 08, 2011:
Good grief. This puts all the responsibility of keeping a happy marriage on the wife. What about the husband's responsibility? Are we back in the 1940s?
round 2 on November 08, 2011:
This is very informative as a guideline for newlyweds, this doesn't work 100% in the real world. Not when you have both parties working full-time jobs, children, and other obligations. I do not particularly agree with the title "How to be a Good Wife to your Husband - 12 Qualities Men look for..." These qualities should pertain to both men and women. I was married to a man for 9 years before we decided to have our first child. In those 9 years, I pampered him and did everything and then some of what you mentioned in your article; but that wasn't enough (I was young and naïve). He got to where he expected these things no matter what I was involved in. We were inseparable, did everything together; until we had our child. My husband was very jealous of other men and then of our child when he was born. He wouldn't spend quality time with him and would get aggravated when I was tending to our child instead of meeting giving him my undivided attention. So before my child turned 2 years old, he had an affair with a co-worker and I divorced him immediately. He then married this woman (who was also married with a child) and they have had affairs on each other and are miserable in their marriage. Before the divorce was final, I told him that he would regret the affair because once the excitement of the new relationship is gone and the everyday life of working, taking care of children, keeping up with household chores (indoor & outdoor), paying bills and so on, he will look back and regret this because I was a DARN good wife...and guess what, the idiot actually agreed with me and said "I probably will"! So in my situation, it was just a fling, because those most famous words "Everybody else was doing it".
Now, Anamika, please explain how a man had the majority of the qualities you mentioned here and still had an affair with an unattractive woman who did not cook, clean and was very flirtatious with men. I was totally the opposite, I did cooked even made his plate and took it to him, cleaned, we still had intimacy, I took care of my child, worked a full-time job, took care of myself (wore a size 5/6) and did not go anywhere with the girls unless it was with him as couples.
So all I have to say is that when women are GOOD to their husbands, their husbands start to get too comfortable and forget their role to be good to THEIR wives. They start to expect these things and forget that they have some obligations to fulfill as well. So I am very astonished that someone with your intellect Anamika, would make a statement of " After all, a Man is a man!"
student4life on November 07, 2011:
Marriage is all about equality. Blessed are those who treat each other equally with love and respect, because only that marriage will stand the test of time. For example, if a man wants his wife to treat his mother well, he needs to ensure that his mother treats his wife with respect too. Money, beauty and health will all diminish or vanish as we age. Only true love will be there as we get older for companionship. There is nothing worse than incompatibility in a relationship that tears people apart.