Anamika S. Jain has been a social media consultant for six years. She has written more than 200 articles on relationships and dating.
What does it take to be a good Girlfriend? Being the Perfect and Ideal One
Many girls find it easy to get into a relationship but find it extremely difficult to maintain it. Many of them do mistakes which costs them their love and relationship. I have done it too and that is why I would like to share tips on How to be a good girlfriend your Boyfriend would want for keeps. If you want your man to propose you and not dump you, then you should make sure that you are the type of girl whom he would be proud to show off to the world. How to be a good girlfriend? What are some key characteristics and qualities of a good girlfriend? What are the mistakes you should avoid to have a healthy relationship?
There are many things women do unconsciously without knowing that it could hurt the relationship. No one is born perfect. But we can strive to be better. Given below are some tips to guide woman on how to be a marriage material.
Tips on How to be a Better Girlfriend
Are you a good girlfriend? Do you have the traits or Qualities that Men look in their girlfriends? How to be a better girlfriend? What are the Characteristics of an ideal life partner? How would your Man rate you as a Girlfriend? I am sure you would be able get the answers to these Questions on your own after reading this Hub.
None of us are perfect. But it does not hurt to try to be better person. Many times we do mistakes unintentionally which can sometimes ruin our life and relationships. Given are 10 common mistakes girls make when they are in a serious relationship.
- Being clingy: Are you a clingy girlfriend? I don’t blame you, this is one major mistake many woman commit. I have even known girls who go to the extent of stalking their guys. If you are constantly around your man or talking to him always on phone, you need to stop. I have even seen girls who keep wrapping their arms around the partner in public and private alike as if declaring to the world that, ‘He is my private property. Keep away!’ Your partner may like your attention for some time but after that he might get annoyed. If you do not draw the line at constantly wanting to be around your Boyfriend, then he will look for ways to get away from you rather than spend his time with you. Just understand that your man has his own identity and interests and by being clingy you would only chase him away. Learn to trust your Partner and give him the required space. In short, have a life of your own too.
- Not giving enough time to the Relationship: Girls want stability in relationships. They want relationships to end in the altar rather than break ups. Do not start talking about marriage and children too fast in your relationship. Allow things to take its natural course. Cherish your time together and do not rush your Guy demanding commitment from him in the initial phases of a relationship. Just try to be optimistic and enjoy your romance than worry about future. Frequent cancelling of dates can give him the impression that you do not like him enough to spend time with him. However, beware of men who have a commitment phobia and wants to be a ‘forever boyfriend’.
- Not caring much about Appearance: Be presentable always. Make sure to look good and presentable in front of his family and friends. Dress decent without being trampy. When you are on a date out or spending time with him, make an effort to dress to impress. Take good care of your appearance and hygiene.
- Taking your Guy for granted: Guys love attention too! Do things for your Guy. You may cook him a special dinner, arrange a romantic date, dress up for him (or dress down depending on the nature of your relationship), give him a surprise gift or do whatever you think he would like. Romantic gestures can play an important role in keeping your man happy. When your man is down or depressed, be his support and shoulder. Give him motivation or pampering when he needs it. Congratulate him on his accomplishments and make a point to make him extra special on days like his birthday, your anniversary, valentine’s day etc. Let him know that you love him and care for him.
- Not being Respectful and Honest: Give your man the respect he deserves and never belittle him in front of others. Hiding secrets from your Boyfriend can harm your relationship. Even if you have done something you regret, it is better to tell him than let him find on his own. Lies often get caught and he will lose all that trust he had on you. If you have done a mistake, accept it and apologize. Develop that honesty and transparency in your communication in such a manner that he also would never hide anything from you. Be faithful to your Man. You may be risking your relationship by being deceitful and not being honest. Do not give any chance for your partner to point fingers at you.
- Being too controlling: Allow your Man to make the first move. Men like to take the lead. Allow him to pursue you than the other way around. Let him initiate and plan the dates than you doing it from your side. This will help you know if he is genuinely interested in you or if you are just a convenience for him. However, there is no harm in you taking the initiative once in a while. However, do not take any crap from anyone, even if he is your boyfriend. Do not abuse your partner physically or verbally and never let him do that to you.
- Comparing with Ex and talking of Past: Many girls commit the mistake of comparing their current Boyfriend with their Ex. This is one of the best things a girl can do if she wants to chase the Guy away. Even if you are playing the game to see how your Guy would react or if it was a harmless comparison made without thinking, your Guy would most probably take it as a sign that you have not fully moved on from your previous relationship. Even if he does not take it in that manner, comparisons are definitely going to hurt his ego and your relationship with him.
- Try to keep him away from his friends or Family: Are you someone who always looks for excuses to keep your Man away from his friends and family? Do you object when he tells that he wants to go out with his Buddies and insist that he spends time with you? If so, it’s time you change. Just understand that his friends and family are his part of life much before you. Be friendly with his family and friends but never cross your limits by being over friendly or dominating. Your man would appreciate if you get along well with the people who matter to him. You may not like some of his friends but when you meet them make a conscious effort to be polite and nice with them.
- Not understanding your Partner: One main characteristic of a good girlfriend is that she understands her partner well and her Boyfriend can rely on her to be there for him when he needs her. That is where good communication and spending quality time with your Guy regularly plays a vital role. Develop the comfort ability factor so that he feels at ease with you enough to share everything. Listen to his needs, worries and passions. Also trust him with your concerns and problems. Be supportive to your Guy’s Career and Hobbies. Understand his problems and pressures. Try to adapt to his likes and interests (This does not mean that you have to give up yours). Try doing things he like at times even if you would prefer to do something else. He would really appreciate that. Whenever there is a misunderstanding between you, make it a point to clear it immediately. Avoid talking about each and everything about your love life to your girlfriends or family members.The problems in your relationship are yours to tackle and as far as possible do not involve a third person in it. Try not to get into the nagging mode. A nagging girlfriend is as much as a turn off as a nagging wife. Maintain a positive outlook. Don't expect your Boyfriend to read your mind. Make sure that you voice your needs, desires and opinion but not in a demanding manner. If you are cribbing and complaining always, it would not take much time for your guy to run away from you.
- Being Superficial: Don’t try to be someone whom you are not. Let your Guy see the real you. Let him like you and love you as yourself.
Getting a Boyfriend can be a great feeling for any girl. But if you do not treat your Guy right, you will be risking your relationship. There is a saying, ‘Treat others the way you want yourself to be treated’. When you do that you are likely to get the same too. Knowing how to be an ideal girlfriend and taking steps towards it is an excellent way to ensure that you end up with a wedding ring on your hand and not get dumped. Now that I have pointed out the mistakes a woman should avoid for being a good girlfriend, I hope you would take the advice and change your behavior.
You have got the man of your Dreams. Now it is your turn to appreciate the presence of your Boyfriend in your life and be a good girlfriend to him.
Anish Kumar from Mundi Kharar, Mohali, Chandigarh, (Punjab) on August 21, 2014:
Excellent tips for girls..Every girl should read this hub and follow these tips.Well done and keep it up.
iyersrinath on August 17, 2012:
If we have to do temporary girlfriend, then do timepass with girlfriend.If we have to do permanent girlfriend,then talk with each other with every girlfriend & Go anywhere with girlfriend after certain age like 25 years, then will become life partner after love marriage .
Three points we have to follow with life partner
2.Daring & gurds
7.Adjustment with life partner
8. Understanding relationship
9.Mutual understanding relationship
cutietutie22 on July 26, 2012:
I don't have a boyfriend yet. But I can tell its coming up soon that he's gonna ask me. This is a head starter. I'm glad I read this. This will help. Thank you
tandrika on July 14, 2012:
i am in a relationship since last three yrs. at first everything was going very smoothly and my boyfriend had blind faith on me. after 1 year i went for my higher studies and sometimes later i did a great mistake of cheating with him. i didn,t make any extra affair but i involved with a guy as a friend . i knew that his intentions were not good but still i had an infatuation. every time he wanted to get closer with me still knowing this i couldn.t avoid her . finally i told everything to him and the boy talked to him very bad thing as per my bf i had to quit my studies for this. at that crucial time my bf supported me very much and i m nw trying to get over from that thing .THE MAIN PROBLEM IS THAT my bf is now pinches me about this sometimes he sclods like anything nd sometimes seems normal i know he loves me very much and i also. we decided to get married on 2014. i don't know what to do with this problem? if u people have any advice or tips to be given pls post it . it will help me in surviving. god bless u all ...........
jellygator from USA on July 12, 2012:
These are fantastic tips for new relationships and old. They may not address some of the psychological stuff that can arise, but women who don't follow these tips will see those psychological issues arise!
Clayton Hartford from Alger WA on July 06, 2012:
This is good advice for a wife as well.
jae on May 26, 2012:
nice advice . really liked it. thanks for sharing :)
lizbeth on May 25, 2012:
Oh this is the best advice about relationships that i have ever got, i now know what to do in my relationship
Sana Shah on May 22, 2012:
This is a great hub i really like it..
DD on April 17, 2012:
i loved my bf a lot and treated him so well i always gave in even it was his mistake i was always there and supporting in his decisions even though he was poor and my parents reject our relationship ..i truly loved him and there was a lot of arguments between us at the end i would tell him sorry and for any small thing he would want to break up with me whatever it was he was a good guy and thoughtout the years he was faithful towards me just that he never gave in n never admits to his mistake of all this years i just be patient and put out with ,and he wanted more in a relationship and i told him im nt ready for it and lets nt rush into t we cn commit when we are married just a few more years he always started to avoid me because i was nt interested to do it and so it went on until one day i just told him i don't like it and i wont do it till i get married and told him our thinking arent alike.He said it again so well i guess im not the one for you then .goodbye.I still love him
Aisha on April 05, 2012:
Sharmin Aktar on April 01, 2012:
Nice to know!
Monika on March 26, 2012:
Thankz 4 d advs Animaka.i really liked it...
Ado on March 13, 2012:
They r gd points for a serious girl
kat on February 16, 2012:
this is merely common sense and works for both men and women. One should not care about any of the above if their partner is not returning the favour. Mutual respect works in any of the above mentioned way.
Injured lamb on February 14, 2012:
Fantastic! Thanks for sharing with us your attentive advice...gonna to share it...
J on February 14, 2012:
Works for both men and women!
R K GUPTA from New Delhi on February 13, 2012:
Good Information, real experience.
Thanks for sharing
KnB on February 06, 2012:
loved it. its all so true
Aurelio Locsin from Orange County, CA on February 06, 2012:
I think that these tips come from a woman to another woman gives it all the more credibility. Voting this Up and Useful.
bright-future on January 19, 2012:
it a nice advice and i really appreciate it a lot.
someone on January 16, 2012:
ive been togather with my boyfreind for 5 years. Ive always been happy with him.we hardly figth. I let him has his space and i never call him if its not nessesary. we live togather. I have heard him saying that he wants to be more attarckted to me. as he misses the feeling that we had when we were all over each other in the beginning. Im not perfect as is no one but im not the top model lady. im short i have tiny tiny extra kilos.nothng much and you can hardly see it but naked well i guess your guy after 5 years want somehting to get exited for. And i admit i haven't really taken care of my looks super much.i mean i do like to dress up when we go out and so on but at home i can sometimes look like a mess mainly because im myselfe and don't think about oh i have to look good today..i have other things on my mind. And i guess i forgot how important it is to look good for your man. Obiusly i want him to be exited to see me and want me so ill keep this in my mind and run to the gym. I love him so much and he always works out to look good for me so i will now do the same. When a man says oh you look a little fat or have some extra kilos..well that wont make us want our man more..it will do less. In the end you have to realise that yes it was mean. but he said it because he loves you and want to wanna have you and go wild for you.
samuel oziegbe. on January 14, 2012:
alexis n stargirl on January 13, 2012:
thanks for the advice, i'll surely tell my cousins and friends this. i really learn a lot from this an also keep up the work you are doing. once again thanks
wonderingwoolley from Madison, WI on January 09, 2012:
Agreed, I see lots of girls making these mistakes, and then being devastated when they are left. Good advice! Thanks for sharing!
anonymous on January 08, 2012:
Nice tips. I will care remember and follow it.
mmo-games from MMO World on January 07, 2012:
couldn't agree more with 3 and 4 :) two reasons I couldn't recognize my ex-girlfriend after two months.
eminator21 on January 07, 2012:
Great advice! I agreed with all your points, which normally doesn't happen when I read relationship advice! Both women and men can learn a lot from this article. Too many relationships end because someone feels suffocated by a clingy partner. It's sad because a lot of people realize they're needy, they just don't know how to stop.
htodd from United States on January 07, 2012:
Great read ,These are really interesting points
janeth charles on January 06, 2012:
thc waz da best plc i got 2 found out on hw am goin 2 trit ma current boyfriend
james moore on January 06, 2012:
this is the best relationship advice i've ever heard .
shona on January 05, 2012:
actually i want to keep relationship with my patner but he don't any attention towards me. so what should i do? how i impress him?
Karen Creftor from Kent, UK on December 27, 2011:
Very interesting hub with some good points.
I would also add that a good relationship starts with self-respect. All-too-often society embeds the 'being with someone, ANYONE is the only important thing in the world' attitude and hence you have people clinging on to destructive relationships in the hope of it one day all turning around and getting married.
Life is far too short to be with the wrong person. Respect yourself, respect your partner and be brave enough to be completely honest about you and your relationship. I'm blessed to have a wonderful long-term relationship~ we meet each other halfway and as Steffan said it's essential in both parties to make the effort...he is just as lucky to have you as you are to have him and it is just as important for him to be a good boyfriend to you.
Most destructive relationships come down to insecurities. If you can be confident, respect yourself, your partner and be independent things run a lot smoother :)
Looking forward to reading more from you!!
drsteffan from Ottawa, Canada on December 19, 2011:
Outstanding contribution in human relationships. Constant, diligent effort to maintain relationships is essential by both parties. Are you willing to make an emotional investment in your relationship? I really enjoyed and love reading your great hub, Steffan
Cristine Santander from Manila on December 19, 2011:
Great hub, great tips to consider in relationships. Thank you for sharing this here at Hubpages. Remain blessed always. Best regards.
MyFavoriteBedding from United States on December 16, 2011:
This article would be especially helpful to your high school girls, because I think their insecurities always get the best of them and end up sabotaging relationships.
ellah818 on December 16, 2011:
oh!thanks anamika,this is a very good advice,i often talk to my boyfriend on phone,so i think i have to change this..
star on December 15, 2011:
that is the best advice i had ever heard in my life.it's so touching and believe you me am now i changed person as far as treating the man of my dreams is concerned.thank you so much.your are heaven sent.
Moira Garcia Gallaga from Lisbon, Portugal on December 14, 2011:
These are all excellent advice and tips Anamika. I totally agree with all the points you raise.
brianwhitskey24 from Chicago on December 13, 2011:
very nice article very similar to mine :( i do care her a lot, do every special thing for her, surprise her with gifts, make her special in front of everyone so she is madly in love with me, but in return i get nothing, although i don't expect anything or don't ask for anything, but still i expect to be special,need to be cared,want surprises, every points must totally belong to my relationship status.....
uniquearticlesbuz from USA on December 11, 2011:
Thanks for the nice tips keep sharing like this hub.....
Chris Montgomery from Irvine, CA on December 11, 2011:
Anamika, I was totally expecting some off-the-mark advice from this hub, but you nailed it!! Numbers 1 & 2 are humongo-especially in the beginning of the relationship, but #'s 5,6,7 and 10 are great advice as well. Incidentally, I think this is good advice for men as well! Great job!
Rose Maria Rica D. Fuentes from Heaven on December 11, 2011:
thanks for the great hub!Keep it up!
Linda Bilyeu from Orlando, FL on December 11, 2011:
Terrific tips! You and I think a lot alike! I'll share this with the ones who could use the info:)
Elena from London, UK on December 11, 2011:
Excellent advice - I'd like to share it with my sister. Being Clingy, not allowing time and also it's important to study people to understand them.
This is a great Hub.
dashingscorpio from Chicago on December 11, 2011:
Very good advice! Too often both women and men tend to "relax" once they have someone who is emotionally invested in them. They stop doing many of the things that caused their mate to fall in love with them!
It's such a cliché to hear someone say, "He/She is not the same person I fell in love with." The bottom line is when we change our circumstances change. Getting into a relationship is a lot easier than sustaining a relationship. Once again great advice!