Natasha Pelati has published three books of poetry and writes on real-life experiences with the help of psychology.
The First Date
Making a lasting impression is very important on the first date! Women have a mental check list and they know from the very first date whether or not you are the one to be with.
From the moment you get to the front door to pick them up they have expectations of what is to follow.
Firstly women take hours to get ready for the date and expect you to notice how great they look.
Opening the car door for her is a must and where you take her could also brand you for life. (If you are a diner kind of guy than best you take her there so that she knows what to expect in the future.)
Listening to her conversation with interest, shows that you care and judging by your eye contact and body language through your date will show her if you are genuinely interested.
Women also love to hear about your life so that they can judge what kind of guy you are.
It is so important to be yourself on the first date and describe the kind of person that you both are in order to know whether this could go any further.
Women have a special intuition and by the first kiss they already know if you are present.
So be yourself from the very first date or your relationship will never go forward.
Obviously she liked you after the first date and you made a good impression if you are dating.
This is the time when you meet her friends and she meets yours. You know what she likes to do and where to take her and after dating for a while you begin to feel comfortable enough with your partner and you get to know her every move; when she is upset, happy, angry or wanting to be alone.
By now the two of you understand each other and you have worked out whether it is okay to have friends of the opposite sex and whether or not you feel comfortable with girl or guys nights out.
You have worked out the finer details and you are both fully aware of the boundaries in your relationship.
As a woman in love we enjoy spending every single minute of the day with you but there is, in every relationship a time when you feel like a little "me time" to paint nails, read a girly mag, watch a chic flick whilst wearing a facial mask and having gossip with the girls!
This in no way means that we don't love you and guys also have their "me time" couching it watching sport! We all need a little of this just to unwind from our hectic schedules.
If you are the same guy that was on the date, where you had your first kiss and you have never metamorphosised than your girlfriend is still very much in love with you. This does mean however that you were being completely honest with her and you did not pretend to be something that you are not. She knew who you were from the very beginning and that guy is who she is dating right now!
However, if you pretended to like things, took her to places you wouldn't normally go and basically pretended to be someone you are not, than she is realising that this is not the guy she met and has doubts about the relationship.
Women want honesty, romance, safety and security as well as a guy that can adore them and make them feel loved.
Simple and yet so many of us get caught in the game of "pretend" where eventually you need to be yourself and that's not who you started out as which does not go unnoticed.
For a time in the relationship your partner will expect you to change and be the guy she met but if that was not really you than you are in for a bumpy ride because your relationship will eventually fail.
If you are the guy that she met and you have been honest from the very beginning than you have nothing to worry about because she knows who you are and where you are going and if she is still with you than it means that your relationship could go to the next level!
The Wrong Girl
Naturally, if you started dating a flirtatious girl who gets a kick out of every guy paying attention to her than you are probably expecting too much if you are wanting her to be exclusive. There are many of these women out there, just as there are men.
You will notice that they are not interested in what you have to say, what you like to do and they have no interest in meeting the family. Girls who are not into you are girls you would probably have met in a bar or club, late at night who probably went home with you on the first night and then left before you could wake up! If you got her number it is just for you to take her out and pay for her social life while she is meeting other people too! Or she is after a friend of yours!
Others would tolerate you for a while and then get irritated with your every move until you finally repulse her enough for her to leave.
The Right Girl
This is easy, if she is the one for you than she likes your friends, your hobbies and will even watch sport with you even though she will tell you that she is not really into the sport. This girl is interested in everything about you and does not expect you to change in any way. She loves you for you and is not interested in meeting other guys or keeping her options open.
In every relationship there is always a little something that we get irritated with but it is a part of you and although it could be annoying, love doesn't mind!
The right girl is the one that has introduced you to her friends and family, she listens and shares your views (doesn't have to be all the time) but you have common ground and she has no time for other men. This is the girl that will want to spend hertime with you, faithfully and honestly.
Is She Interested in Someone Else?
If you pay attention in your relationship than you will know whether or not she is into you or someone else.
This doesn't mean that checking her cellphone, emails or following her will give you any clues because you should know that she is interested in you by the way that she makes you feel.
Obviously if she is not interested in listening to you, going out with you or sleeping with you than.....alarm bells should ring!
If she is interested in someone else than there are a few telltale signs to let you know:
Pay attention to who she is talking to or texting. If she is speaking to a guy than you need to understand why. Ask yourself these questions;
Does she talk to him often, more than she speaks to you?
Is the conversation lighthearted or do they get personal?
Does she disappear when the phone rings so that you can't hear what she is saying?
When she answers the phone in your presence, does she excuse herself or say that she is unable to talk?
Is there whispering going on?
Pay attention to the conversation and ask her about it afterwards. If you are not comfortable with her speaking to this person and she is interested in them, she will get defensive and let you know that she will not stop speaking to them.
She is Interested in Someone Else
She suddenly want to go out without you on a girls night out or she has plans for drinks after work with some buddies.
She convincing you to have her friend over for dinner and insists that it will happen or she gets angry if you say no.
She talks about a certain guy a little too often
If you have seen her with a guy does it look like she is too comfortable with him? Familiar?
Your girlfriend spends more time talking and laughing with him than she does with you
Do you feel like you are the third wheel when he is there?
When she goes shopping she is looking at things that her friend might like
She gets dressed up for his visit
You have seen this guy at your house or your girlfriends house more than you should.
She gets defensive when you mention you don't like him or you are not happy with him being there.
If you ask her to stop seeing this friend and she says no
If it is not someone that you know than she will be wanting to go out more often without you.
She comments on how good someone else looks and doesn't compliment you.
Generally if a women is interested in someone else and she is your girlfriend than the best thing to do is see where things have gone wrong. Try your very best to fix the situation with communication and find out why she has lost interest. If there is no reasonable explanation for it and she just thinks someone else is hotter, cooler and wants to spend time with him, than you need to let her go and start showing interest in other people to move on and get someone who will love you, adore you and make you the most important person in their lives!
Does Your Girlfriend Like Someone Else
Natasha Pelati (author) from South Africa on January 14, 2020:
Romance is not dead. If you are going for girls who are on tinder and dating sites then you need to change your venues. Women want romance, they want guys to take the lead (in a good way) and they want to feel loved. All you have to do is make them feel like there is nobody else. If you have a girl that has 4 guys waiting and she is a bit of a loose goose then it's no loss, you can do better.
Slartybartfast on January 14, 2020:
She's not yours, it's just your turn. One harsh lesson most guys find out the hard way.
Chances are she has four guys waiting for her on tinder and nothing you do will ever make you good enough.
Romance is dead, women are best avoided or kept at a distance as platonic friends.
Sad, but true.
Natasha Pelati (author) from South Africa on July 22, 2013:
Firoz from India on July 18, 2013:
Great hub on relationships. Voted up.