Evie Sparkes is a published novelist, content writer and company director from the UK.
Signs That a Woman is Losing Interest
If you've been dating for a few months you may have become complacent. Men are more prone to complacency than women when it comes to relationships in my opinion. I'm sure you'll probably disagree!
Women aren't quite as obvious as men. When you guys have had enough, you either cut down on communication to the point of disinterest or you come right out with it. Women don't want to be so abrupt in most cases. We feel bad for you and we'd rather let you down gently. We also live in hope that we might get that spark back at some point, so we carry on, only with a bit less enthusiasm as we had before.
When We Aren't All That Bothered
If we take a couple of days to get back to you, even though you asked us a question in your last text. If we make an excuse not to see you at the weekend when it was a solid arrangement. If we peck you on the cheek to say goodnight when we used to go in for the lips as default.
What Women Want From Men In A Relationship But Don't Admit or Don't Realise
We want you to do something that surprises us. We want to be interested all over again because you're good looking, you have a good job and you're smart. The problem is that you are too keen. Yep, we are just like you in that respect. We can pretty much predict when you are going to call or text and we can also script what you are going to say, almost word for word. You've become boring. Sorry, I'd love to say that attention and lots of it is all that we want but in my experience that's not true. Sure we want attention, we want you to say nice things to us and all of that stuff. It all just loses it's shine when we can predict it.
I'd say maybe it's just me but it's not. I've had this discussion with a few friends and I've seen otherwise good relationships take a nose dive or a steady decline all because the guy stopped being mysterious and interesting. He became predictable and that's never a turn-on is it? That works both ways too.
Scarcity Creates Interest
There's an extremely fine line between creating a little scarcity and behaving as if you don't give a damn. Don't do the latter unless you really don't give a damn.
Text us when you have something to say or a question to ask that needs answering. Text us goodnight, that's nice, but not too often. When you DO text when we aren't expecting to hear from you we like it. Keep it short and make it amusing, funny or clever. Leave it there though. Don't get carried away. It's only alluring when it doesn't happen too often.
Personally I love unpredictability. I'd rather a guy call when I least expect him to.
Save Predictability For Later
As a relationship progresses, we like a bit of predictability. A little bit of knowing is good. We want to be able to know that we can count on you to be there for us through the tougher times and we want to know that you will pick up the phone at 2am when we are drunk and loved up.
We want you to answer our text the same day at least. That's just good manners if you've read it. That sort of predictability is good. It's respect and we like that. If we don't answer your texts in the same way though, don't have a go at us or nag us. You are perfectly within your rights to do so, but just don't. Make us think that you aren't bothered if we answer you in a timely manner or not. You'll be far more attractive to us I promise you that.
Long Distance Romance
It's tempting to call and text at every opportunity when you live miles apart. The thing is it's either out of sight out of mind or absence makes the heart grow stronger. You want the latter to be true.
Don't get all serious if your long distance relationship is in its infancy. Keep it light-hearted and fun. Be romantic too but don't get scared that she'll lost interest unless you're full on all of the time. Full-on all of the time will end up being a negative thing even if it's appealing at the start.
My son is eighteen and dating a lovely girl. I spoke to him today because they are glued together. They spend every day and most nights together. I told him that they are in danger of burn-out. Sure they are all loved up right now but they should have their own things going on too. I speak from experience. Harry is a lot like me. He is easily bored and too much predictability will soon start to create disinterest.
Girls like to have fun. You now how the song goes. We also like a bit of romance, a bit of a smart-arse and a little bit of mystery.