How Women Flirt and How to Respond
When you’re interested in someone of the opposite sex, it can be hard to determine if they are interested in you. Women can be especially difficult to ‘read’ when it comes to flirting because it’s easy to mistake their interest for friendship. How do you determine if her interest is strictly platonic or something more?
Body language, her tone of voice, and how she responds to you during casual communications can all serve as the basis of her romantic interest in you. After you receive these types of cues and messages, it’s up to you to decide if and when you want to flirt back and proceed with some type of relationship.
Women are often considered to be the ‘social’ sex because they will go out of their way to meet others and get to know people. They tend to develop social skills at an early age, and will pick up on communication skills and cues from men relatively easily. However, every woman has her own flirting style that can be difficult to decipher from just ‘being nice.’ Most women flirt by displaying overt signs of flirting behavior such as stroking their hair when talking to you, gazing into your eyes and laughing at everything you say.
Others may be more subtle with their flirting strategy, but they will still be very direct about their interest; they may touch you lightly on the arm when talking to you, make sure they attend events or social gatherings where you go regularly, and may go out of their way to talk to you. Understanding the different ways that women flirt and learning about their natural personality can help you determine whether she really likes you, or is just being her usual self.
Obvious Signs That She Likes You
Some of the most obvious signs that a woman is interested in you include:
- Being extra nice to you
- Smiling often
- Keeps walking by or running into you
- Copying your body movements
- Giggling when you’re talking to her or around you
- Making an extra effort to listen to you
- Going out of her way to have a conversation with you
- Touching you lightly on the arm
- Giving you a wide-eyed look and/or batting her lashes often
Non-Obvious Signs That She Likes You
Some women like to ‘test’ a man to find out if they are up to the challenge of flirting and want to pursue a relationship. There are many non-obvious signs of interest that a woman can express, but this can be a very confusing area for guys who aren’t experienced in flirting. Still, if you can pick up any of the following cues during the course of your communications and interactions, there’s a good chance that she really is interested in you.
Some non-obvious signs of interest include:
- Isolating herself from the group so you can approach her
- Staring at you when you’re not looking directly at her
- Stopping a phone conversation to say something to you
- Breaking away from her friends to tell you something ‘important’
- Acting more nervous or anxious around you
- Going out of her way to attend a party or event where she knows you’ll be
- Mirroring/mimicking your body posture or movements
- Spending a good portion of her day talking to you on the phone or text messaging you
- Sending you random text messages or instant messages
- Asking your friends about you
Ways to Flirt Back When You Know She Likes You
If you are interested in the girl or woman who is obviously flirting with you, there are several ways you can flirt back. You will want to be yourself so that she can get to know the real you, but you may also want to show your playful side so she knows that flirting with you is okay at this stage of the relationship.
Some simple ways to flirt back and express interest when you know she likes you include:
- Giving her a compliment
- Copying her posture or body movements
- Smiling often
- Maintaining good eye contact
- Initiating a joke
- Teasing her or imitating her in a playful way
- Ask her questions about something she’s said
- Keeping the conversation going beyond ‘small talk’
- Inviting her to a group event or, if you’re confident enough, ask her out on a date
- Laughing at her jokes
- Being playful
- Suggesting ways to meet again or proposing a casual date
- Asking her friends and her out with your group of friends
Ways to Express Disinterest When You Know She Likes You
If you’re not interested in the girl or woman who has shown a keen interest in you, you’ll need to find ways to reduce or eliminate communications with her without hurting her feelings. Some women can pick up on signs of disinterest right off the bat and will back off; others may see your disinterest as a form of flirting, and will persist in their efforts no matter what you do. In these cases, you’ll just need to be direct about how you feel and let them know you’re simply not interested.
Other ways to express disinterest when you know she likes you include:
- Ignoring her phone calls
- Not replying to her text messages or instant messages
- Avoiding excessive smiling
- Steering clear of long conversations
- Making very brief eye contact
- Showing limited interest on topics she’s talking about
- Keeping conversations as brief and unemotional as possible
If a girl or woman continues to persist with her efforts and doesn’t pick up the cues to stop flirting with you, you may need to be more direct. Casually letting her know you’re in a relationship, or sincerely telling her that you’re not interested may help her back off. You don’t have to be hurtful with your response; a sincere and direct response can reduce the chance that you’ll hurt her feelings, and may prevent embarrassment.