Philosophical writer and YouTube creator covering the topics of simplicity, homemaking, and the romantic vintage lifestyle.
Why You Should Keep Up Your Looks as Wife
Lets face it, if sexual attraction to our mate were unimportant, then we would all be able to go through life as a celibate nun, missionary, or solitary worker. Practicing the discipline of singleness for God is great for those chosen for a specific mission. Most likely however, you didn't marry for friendship alone. There was a physical chemistry which drew you to your spouse. Those feelings of romance and spark were not created by God as a trap to make us procreate, they were meant to continue as part of the magic and "glue of marriage".
When you keep up your looks you are being loving to your spouse. You may also notice that when you regularly put effort into looking good, and respond to his tastes and preferences, he may do the same for you. Looking put together will also make you feel great. Boosting your confidence and making you more productive.
How to Stay Attractive-Video by Rain San Martin
Beware of Pajama Pants!
In the article Is it Wrong for a Wife to "Let Herself Go" After Marriage? – Christ, Freedom, and the Law of Beauty we see the startling reality of one mans perspective:
"It may take two years, or ten years, or twenty, and it may take two children or four or none, but eventually the wife (in this story) no longer cares to look good for her husband. As soon as she comes home, she puts on the old pajama pants and shapeless sweat shirt. She may dress up for outings with their friends, but if it’s only a date for the two of them then she wears jeans and a t-shirt and no makeup. In fact, over time, she might leave her legs and armpits unshaven, at least for long periods of time, stop bothering to make her hair, and so forth."
He goes on to say that the fruit of his wife's actions has made him feel disrespected, neglected, taken for granted and needlessly tested in his hearts faithfulness. Her slovenly appearance has nothing to do with growing older. Don't make the same mistake yourself.
Men Generally are Attracted to Longer Hair-Forget the Cultural Trends
Grooming and Hygiene
More than any other grooming habit, brushing your teeth at the very start of each morning is non-other than urgent! This is not for the sake of dental care, but to rid all traces of morning breath. Brush after each meal for dental hygiene.
Timeless Physical Beauty Tips
- Go easy on plastic surgery, if at all. As we age, it's better to let the face fall naturally.
- Work out daily.
- Wear tasteful makeup at the start of each day. (If you practice this particular beauty custom).
- Get dressed from head to toe.
- Grow hair long. No matter what your age.
A Positive Attitude will Make You Appear More Beautiful
Scripture Warns Us to Have Substance for Lasting Inner Beauty
"Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." (-Peter 3:3-4)
As we enter into old age, though our skin may lose it's luster our character can continually shine a light on our inner beauty. That is, for those who seek a pure heart and live in a state of childlike wonder. Notice how much older a woman appears who is bitter, harsh and brash than one whom is positive, grateful and excited about life.
Be warned however, as scripture is to be interpreted in light of scripture. Some women mistakenly use this passage as a justification for neglecting their looks. If one holds an office job they are still expected to look professional regardless of their schedule, hold the same respect for your homemaking attire or while you are at home (if you have a day job outside of the home).
Keep Your Look Traditionally Feminine as You Age
In Old Age Avoid the Unisex Look
At the turn of the 20th century fashion customs made it clear whom the male or female was. In their senior years, women wore their hair long (though pulled up). Dresses flowed down to their ankles. Their waists were pulled inward to reveal a feminine hourglass shape. Now in the modern era of the 21st century seniors in their 70's, 80's and 90's not only wear bulky unflattering pants, they put on box shaped tops and crop their hair as short as their husbands. In old age, we need to make an extra effort to communicate a sense of lovely femininity.
Flylady Explains the Importance of Getting Ready Every Day
Look the Best You Can For Your Husband-He Doesn't Expect Perfection
One of the most beneficial habits to develop is to get dressed from head to toe, at the first of each morning. Not only will you assure you look presentable and lovely for your spouse, you'll be ready for anything! If someone drops by at the last minute, you wont have to feel embarrassed that your look like a mess. Never settle for wearing pajama pants or sweats around the house again. Above all don't be caught in the grocery store or walking your children to school in such slovenly attire.
Getting completely ready with makeup and shoes will provide the following benefits:
- be ready for drop ins
- look nice for your husband
- feel confident
- be more productive
In the blog post "Stay Attractive For Him" Lori Alexander, a Christian woman married 33 years teaches that men do not expect perfection. You need simply to put forth your best effort.
Keep the Mystery Alive by Guarding Your Tongue
Avoid idle chatter. Following your husbands lead will go a long way towards having an air of mystery. This is not about being secretive, it is the art of speech discipline. You can share each others lives without disclosing every detail on your mind.
"Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; When he closes his lips, he is considered prudent." (17:18)
Ways to Show Your Inner Beauty by Serving Your Husband
- Commit to being a good helpmate and wife of noble character. I read the book Created to be His Helpmate, once every couple of years.
- Give him words of affirmation.
- Listen with a gentle spirit.
- Make his favorite meals.
- Always be available for physical intimacy. "The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." ( 1 Corinthians 7:5)
- Be joyful
- Show him respect
- Give him words of affirmation
- Gently share your concerns with your husband at an appointed time, or write a list for him to review. Do whatever you must to avoid nagging and complaining. "It is better to live in a corner of a roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman." (Proverbs 21:9)
- Be confident
- Have your own interests
- Use discretion in your speech, avoiding foal language. "As a ring of gold in a swine's snout So is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion." (Proverbs 11:22)
© 2014 Rain San Martin
Nicole K on May 11, 2016:
I agree with the long hair comment. I've cut my hair short in the past, too, and my husband said he liked it. However, I always end up growing it long again because it's prettier to me (I have naturally curly hair) and I know he likes it, too. Pajama pants are also very tempting sometimes, but I can definitely see how they could be perilous! Wearing PJ pants around the house all the time also makes one feel more lazy and less likely to get much done, in my opinion.
Rain San Martin (author) from Fort Wayne on June 22, 2015:
Of course that's possible, attitude can make a person attractive, and natural beauty genes are a bonus. The main idea is to steer away from complacency once one gets married. Keeping up the habits that were in place while dating.
Anonymous on June 21, 2015:
I guess so, but I know this girl that wears sweats a lot and she's still gorgeous. It's her genes. Lots of guys like her.
Robie Benve from Ohio on December 03, 2014:
Love this, so deeply true, very good advice for any woman, married or single, but especially for us that have been married for a while and got into lazy habits.
Sometimes I imagine that the guy I'm seeing in the evening is a "new date' and step my appearance up a notch for my old guy, he deserves it. :)
Dbro from Texas, USA on December 03, 2014:
Boy, talk about a word in due season! You have struck a chord with me, Rain San Martin! I have been feeling the need to "up my game" a bit lately. As a housewife, the urgency for "putting myself together" has gone away, but not its importance. I am grateful to you for reminding me that it is a loving thing to do, this caring for my appearance. I know my husband will appreciate my efforts. Thanks again!
ChanellChilds on December 02, 2014:
Rain San Martin, This is an amazing blog! Excellent job! Thank you for taking the time out to share a bit of wisdom. God bless you!