As a kid (grades 1-5), I was very quiet. I didn't play sports, and I didn't socialize with girls much. By grade 6, I became louder, more social, and became known as the funny guy, although I still didn't talk to girls as much as I should have been. But who cared right?
When Junior High came around, it was still much of the same. I was still extremely shy around girls, and tried to avoid the pretty ones altogether. This pathetic pattern continued to control my life throughout grades 7 and 8. Although at first I didn't care, I eventually began to notice all my friends getting girlfriends, and I felt left out. But I thought I wasn't good looking enough to get a pretty girl.
In grade 9, I began smoking weed. Not a lot, probably 6 times during the entire school year. The main reason I kept doing it was it gave me confidence at parties. The first real party I ever went to, I got high. After that, it was like I wasn't shy at all. Girls were trying to unbutton my shirt, trying to cuddle with me, etc. Then the next day I would socialize with these same girls and they wouldn't be as in to me as they were at the parties. It was at this moment that I realized that these girls were so attracted to me at parties because I let out my full personality. If I could learn to let it out without the help of weed or alcohol, I knew I could be very successful with women.
So the next party I went to, I went sober. I really relaxed, and had a good time. I let out my personality. Lo and behold, a solid 8.5/10 started flirting with me extensively. She wanted to be with me that whole party. At the end of the party, she asked me for my number. I knew this was only the beginning.
I'm in grade 10 now, and I'm continuing my journey of pickup. Each day, I improve myself further and further. What you are about to read below is a full summary of everything I learned. I had to learn these lessons the hard way, but by reading this article, I sincerely hope I can help others who are in the same situation I was in. Make no mistake. I am no pickup expert, but hopefully you can learn a thing or two from what you are about to read.
Why there is no "league".
The art of pickup. The ability to attract beautiful women (and in this case, girls), regardless of your physical appearance, or athletic ability. Does it sound too good to be true? Believe it or not, this is very real. Society has lead individuals born with an average or below average appearance to believe that more attractive girls are, so to speak, "out of their league". This couldn't be farther from the truth. How many times have you seen an bald, average looking guy with someone that looks like a super model? You may now be thinking, "Yes, but that's only for older women. Girls in High School aren't like that." Well I'm here to tell you, yes they are.
Why do nice guys always get friendzoned?
Let's think about this. There's a complete asshole. He's loud, makes rude remarks, is very disrespectful to girls. Then, there's the nice guy. Well mannered, very nice and supportive, listens the girls' problems, etc. What makes the douchebag more appealing than the nice guy? Contrary to popular belief, it's not because he's a douchebag. It's because he's confident. This is the key to success with girls/women. They can get past all your physical flaws if they feel like you are confident. They like to be dominated. The douchebag will take charge, whereas the nice guy will be more passive. Subconsciously, this is a big turn off.
How can I build confidence?
Now that we have identified the problem, we can move on to the solution. When I started my Pickup Journey, I was in the same boat as many of you. I couldn't talk to girls. I wasn't comfortable. I would always run out of things to say. Either that, or my conversations would be extremely boring.
The only real way to get better at interacting with girls is to practice. You don't need to go up to them and use a kick-ass pickup line on them, on your first day. Depending on how introverted you are, you will start at different levels. For example, some people I know start by just high-fiving random girls. I personally started by introducing myself to those around me. Ex. On my 2nd day at school, I noticed that the girl next to my locker was pretty cute. I decided to start a casual conversation with her. This is how it went.
Me: Hey, do you know where room XXX is?
Her: Yeah, it's right down that hallway on the right.
Me: Thanks! This school's so damn big that I keep getting lost. I literally spent 30 minutes trying to find my locker.
Her: Hahahaha. It can be a pretty confusing place.
Me: My name's XXX, by the way. What's yours?
Her: I'm XXX.
Me: It was nice meeting you, but I gotta get to class now. See you around!
That was my real conversation with her. Everyone will start at a different point. You just need to start somewhere. The main thing is you need to keep pushing your comfort zone. If you start with high-fiving, don't high five people for 3 years. Escalate. Start having conversations, etc.
The goal I kept was this:
Do one thing that pushes you out of your comfort zone, every day.
Stick to that goal and you will get better with girls. Even if it's one baby step at a time, take those baby steps. Don't get discouraged if you don't see immediate progress. Remember, you won't become a supreme pimp within a day or two.
Re-wire the Yourself
If you are looking to lose your anxiety or nervousness even further, I would recommend picking up a book called "The Power of Now". It does not directly relate to pickup, but it helps immensely with confidence issues. The whole book basically revolves around being in the present moment. What does that mean? It means not thinking of the past or future, but acting on the present. When you see a cute girl, how many times do you think "What If..?". This was my problem as well. What this book teaches you is that nothing matters but the present moment. What you are doing right now. It teaches you to separate you, or you soul, from your mind. That constant voice in your head that sprouts so many negative thoughts.
One of the best tips of the book in my opinion, was this. "Stop trying to be one step ahead." What does this mean? Well if you think about it, why do you always run out of things to talk about with a girl? You're always trying to be one step ahead. Always trying to think of something to say, while you're talking, or while she's talking. Instead, let the words flow out of you. Don't think about what you're saying. Just say the first thing that comes to mind.
At $5 for a copy of it, you don't have much to lose. The book is of the highest quality, is a New York Times bests eller,and is written by Eckhart Tolle. One of the greatest spiritual teachers of our time, and a fantastic author as well.
What If I get rejected? What If the girl doesn't like me?
If she doesn't like you, then she doesn't like you. If you have shown her your true personality, and she doesn't accept it, then why are you wasting your time on her? You would probably wouldn't get along with her anyway, so move on.
There are billions of girls in this world, and not every single one will love you. Even the greatest pickup artists in the world are rejected every now and then. Don't dwell on it. Move on, laugh at it, and look for someone you can really connect with.
I found a girl that likes me back. Now what?
Now, you need to show her you like her. You need to build attraction.
1. Compliment Her - Make sure she knows you think she's attractive. Tell her she has a hot style of clothing. Tell her you like her hair. Make sure she KNOWS you are attracted to her.
2. Escalate Physical Contact - Escalate physical contact over time. This doesn't mean stuffing your fingers down her pants at any given moment. Start with things like holding her hands when you guys are talking. For example. I might see a girl in the hallway, and do something like this.
Me: XXX I need to tell you something.
Her: Sure, what is it?
Me: (Grab her hands) I wanted to ask you... Do you know the muffin man?
A good trick that works is if you are already holding her hands, put them on your shoulders. This will subconsciously make her feel like she is the one attracted to you.
There are several other ways of building attraction, but I cannot list all of them. If you are interested in learning about the mind of a girl, and how to build attraction, I recommend picking up a copy of "The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women into Bed", and "The Pickup Artist: The New and Improved Art of Seduction". They are both written by Mystery. Arguably the greatest pickup artist of all time, and the father of modern day pickup. These books go extensively into the psychology of women. How do you know when a girl likes you? How do you build attraction? How do you know when to makeout? These books go into all of that.
Now obviously, they are written for older audiences, but the information in the books can be applied to High School, Junior High, College, and other places as well. Understanding both parts of the equation was essential for me, personally. I wanted to understand how I could make myself more appealing, but I also wanted to know how the girl perceived that. What was she thinking? These are the questions that were answered for me, by reading these 2 books.
Now it's your turn
You now have a basic understanding of how pickup works. You could read all the books in the world, and all the articles in the world, but if you don't apply any of these teachings to your life, it won't matter. If you are looking for further information on pickup, as well as gaining confidence, read the 3 books I mentioned earlier. They will be able to supply you with much more knowledge, and chances are, they will probably explain everything better than I have. If you have any questions/comments, please put them in the comments box below. I read all of them.
So go I say. Stop living your life in your basement, jacking off 3 times a day. Live your life.
Alex on November 04, 2012:
Don't do drugs kids.
cunt destroyer on October 31, 2012:
After reading this i have pounded over 10000 girls 100/100 guide :D
thehubpageswriter (author) on October 30, 2012:
Exactly! I feel so much more confident in myself now.
1. That's what I usually do, but just telling a girl that you thought she was cute works too. Although funny/stupid lines work GREAT, they aren't mandatory. The reason I didn't include specific line examples is because direct game can have bad consequences (issues with school rep), if done wrong.
2. You're dead on, and that is why I included the last paragraph, "Now it's your turn."
I really appreciate all your input! =)
austin.beast on October 30, 2012:
I read it and really liked it, I'm in the same situation as you [began to take it seriously by do it constantly 3 months ago] and the influence I've made is so huge I can't even explain it. It's like you become a different person and till you don't do it you can understand it.
P.S. I think you should add 2 more things,
1. When you FIRST go out to flirt with girls start with funny/stupid sentences / moves as it will help you get into the mood.
2. What the most important thing in the 'game' is NOT to read BUT to Do, go out and train!
95% just read it, the ONLY way to improve yourself in this 'game' is by TRAIN YOURSELF.