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After Six Years of Dating, Here Are Seven Things I've Learned About Healthy Relationships

Tantowi grew up drawing and designing. Now she makes videos for a living and loves every second of it.

There is a myth that having a long term relationship is very hard and even impossible. But, the truth is that it can be done.

There is a myth that having a long term relationship is very hard and even impossible. But, the truth is that it can be done.

I've been dating someone for six years. During the journey, there was not much argument or fighting. I asked myself, what makes my relationship last at this point? I was fortunate to meet someone who was on the same page as me. I would like to share with you readers what I learned from that experience regarding my peaceful relationship with my partner.

Everyone wants to have a good relationship with the person that they love and care about. A lot of people want to be able to last forever with that person and live a happy and content life together. It certainly is possible, and one thing nearly every relationship needs to work well is quite simple. A relationship is like a garden that needs care and water to grow. When you water it with love and nurturing, it will bloom. If you leave the plants, they will die. Here are a few helpful tips to maintain a positive relationship for as long as possible:

Give Each Other Space

One of the hardest parts of having a long-term relationship with someone is not giving each other space. Whenever we spend time with someone, we tend to think more about them than about ourselves. When you allow yourself to get wrapped up in a relationship, it's easy to become blind to other parts of your life. To be successful, you need to be able to see the big picture and what's important to others as well as yourself. You need to give each other space when you need it.

A good relationship is like a family. You respect each other's space. Your heart and mind know that he/she will be there for you whenever you need. You don't have to be together every minute, hour, or day. Give him/her some space.

Listen to and Support Each Other

Many people have an emotional involvement with their partner which sometimes results in them going above and beyond for their partner. The other partner may find this appealing; however, this can cause the partner to lose sight of their own needs. You can prevent this from happening by listening to and supporting each other. Listening involves acknowledging what your spouse is experiencing without judging. It involves acknowledging that there will be times when your needs will be greater than yours, and vice versa for your spouse.

The key to long-term relationships is supporting each other's weaknesses. If you notice that your partner has a habit of complaining or being critical, don't accept it. Instead, try supporting him or her by acknowledging his or her feelings and making a mental note not to mention the issue to anyone else during future conversations.


One of the biggest reasons couples break up is that people always lie to each other. However, being honest is not always the most popular thing to do in everyday relationships. If you want to ensure that you and your significant other remain together, there are four steps you can take immediately. And if any one of those steps doesn't work, then change everything immediately! For example, if you suspect your spouse is telling you something that isn't true, have them clarify what they're saying.

All relationships have ups and downs, but one thing that stays consistent is trust. If you have a good relationship with your partner, you’ll be more likely to be happy in your life. Relationships last a lifetime. So make the best out of them while you can!


Communication is an essential part of maintaining a healthy relationship. It does not mean sending a text message every minute. When you text your partner once a day and tell him or her what's going on in your life, it will seem less like you're always thinking about them and more like you're hanging out and learning from each other. Listening and believing are two of the most important ways to communicate. Listening lets you know your partner is thinking and feeling the same way you are. Choosing to do what is best for them shows that they are believing in themselves.

Often there are unspoken rules in relationships. I have a friend who was at first very good friends with me, but suddenly he became distant from me because of the lack of communication between us. How are things between us? Were we still friends? Without communication, I will never find out what the answer is. Because of this, it's so important to communicate with your partner in a way that makes them trust you again. If you want a long-term relationship that won't be swayed by small fights, you need to start communicating right away.

Forgive Your Partner

Maintaining a long-term relationship with someone involves avoiding unnecessary arguments and focusing on what's important. You need to set limits for yourself and your partner if you want to be in a long-term relationship. You can't always control what others do or say, but you can control how you respond.

When your partner makes a mistake, acknowledge it and deal with the consequences. You can forgive them again if they continue to make the same mistakes despite your efforts to warn them.

Forgiveness is not the same as letting them off the hook even if they break a promise, they still need to learn from it and change their behavior. Don't be the one who always asks your partner to beg you until you are satisfied when he makes a mistake. Understand his/her problem. You can avoid selfishness and manipulation by forgiving.


Tell and Show Each Other You Care

One of the best ways to ensure that your partner cares for you is to say that you care for them. This will keep the relationship healthy. Tell them you're thinking about them. Make it clear that you are willing to do anything for them. Thank them for everything they do for you.

We avoid doing the things we need to do for fear of what our partner might think of us or what our only beloved might say. We avoid conversations that bring up feelings of anger or disappointment for fear that it means our partner doesn't care about us. When you show and tell your partner that you care about them, it breaks through those negative thoughts and positive feelings and helps relieve stress.

Respect Each Other's Emotions, Thoughts and Feelings

A healthy relationship is based on the sharing of feelings and thoughts. It doesn't matter if your partner does not comprehend or understand this, being honest about your feelings will still have a positive effect on your relationship if you practice this daily. There are times when we both need to vent and let go if we're feeling overwhelmed by something or if we're still late from a previous fight. We learn from each other's vulnerability without using it to manipulate the other. Emotions, thoughts, and feelings form the basic framework of our thinking. Be careful not to try to change others, as this creates tension in relationships, which leads to miscommunication, which causes friction.

Your significant other should be treated as if they were your best friend, with the same values ​​and life goals as you. Don't demand anything from them, but be there when they need you. Being there for them when times are tough will show them how much you value and love them. Don't forget to do the same for your friends and family. Be nice to each other. Integrity is a virtue. Positive thinking is the key!

Sometimes we have to take a step back and see a situation from a new perspective before we make a quick judgment. Sometimes we react based on emotion rather than reason. In such cases, we don't have the proper perspective to figure out what the best course of action is. Staying in a good relationship from time to time is good for both of you if you try to resolve conflicts respectfully without blaming or fighting your partner.

A healthy relationship is about striving to meet each other's needs. It means treating your partner with respect. Don't take your partner for granted. Encourage your partner to be the best they can be. Being able to understand what makes them happy emotionally and conveying that to them is important. Healthy relationships are built on trust, which is earned by showing respect for another person.

That's the lesson I've learned from being in relationships. I hope after reading this article you feel more confident about your relationships with the people you love, as well as with your friends and family. I wish you the best of luck!

This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

© 2021 Tantowi Gilang


dashingscorpio from Chicago on September 01, 2021:

I always tell people to become a "Me" expert before dating.

Knowing who you are and what you want from a relationship will help you tremendously with your mate selection screening process and must haves list for choosing a mate.

Oftentimes during our youth we allow impulsive connections and happenstance to dictate our relationship choices.

It's almost the equivalent of going shopping without a list!

We bought into the "follow your heart" philosophy which usually means ignore "red flags" and hope for the best.

In other instances we waste so much of our time and emotion trying to compromise with those who simply don't share our same values nor want whatever it is we want.

Learning how to choose the "right mate" for yourself is an ongoing process because our "must haves list" evolves with age and life experience. What made for an "ideal mate" at age 18 isn't likely going to cut it for you at age 25, 30, and beyond.

Never separate your mind from your heart when making relationship decisions. The purpose of the mind is to protect the heart. There are three basic reasons why couples split

1. They chose the wrong mate. (They're too incompatible.)

2. A "deal breaker" was committed in the eyes of one of them.

3. They fell out of love/stopped wanting the same things.

"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

- Oscar Wilde

Best wishes!

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