Getting a man to take care of you in an age where independent women are the norm takes a specific skill set. But don't worry, you can easily learn them. We'll go over each of the skills individually. So what's the lure in having a man take care of you? I'll give you my list ...
Having a Job VS. Being Taken Care Of
I would rather have flowers in my hair than wear a business suit. I would rather tend to the needs of a man who gives me jewelry, clothing, food, shelter, and security than slave away 40 hours a week with people who are only worried about number crunching. I would rather create an atmosphere of love and desire with a man than watch my back, be in fear for my job, or cater to the egos of people that don't even care about me.
Instead, you should look for the type of man who will always stand by your side and help you when you're down and out. A stand-up kind of gentleman.
So You've Decided that Independence is Overrated Too ...
When I was in my early 20s I couldn't wait to make my own money. After about ten years, I realized it was complete bull crap. Corporate and the workplace in general isn't worth the stress. But it did teach me one useful thing ...
How to Charm a Man
Just because you leave the workforce does not mean you leave work behind completely. Practicing charm sometimes takes verbal self-control. It can be tough at first but you will be rewarded for it with a man who wants to shower you with love, gifts, and happiness.
- Don't debate him on his intrinsic beliefs. If you disagree, keep it to yourself. Verbalizing will only create a rift.
- Be his cheerleader. Praise his hard work. Thank him for what he does for you.
- When he wants to be alone, as all men do sometimes, give him that time.
- Ask him to do tasks rather than tell him.
- If he is in a bad mood from work or life stresses, don't react. Let him vent. Or you can leave the room for a while.
- When he talks about his interests in life, state what you believe is positive about those things. Leave out the negative.
- Don't start arguments. Calmly speak about what bothers you, and make sure it is about something important.
Skill #1 Charm
Whether I worked with colleagues (internal clients) or customers (external clients), treating people how they want to be treated made my life so much easier -- even if I didn't always feel the person deserved such nice treatment. This is called having charm, and it can take a woman far.
Rather than having 10, 20, or more clients at work to appease, when you are taken care of by a man, you only have one client to charm. That makes life so much easier.
And when I say client, I mean figuratively. When you are in a relationship with someone, it is smart to think of them as a client. Because you will most often get out of the person what you put into them.
Feminism has taken away some of the softer skills women used to practice on the whole.
Charming a man is a skill that every woman in a relationship should practice. We are the softer sex, and men love us for those softer qualities.
Be His Cheerleader
Does anything on the How to Charm a Man list bother you?
You might think to yourself, "I'm no robot. I don't want to kiss his behind." But look at that list again. Don't you want to be treated the same way? Everything in that list is a positive social skill. And most people, especially in our modern world, do not get treated in a positive manner by most of the people they run into -- whether at work, home, or on the street. When your man is treated with love and respect by you, he will give you the world. That is what charm does.
Skill #2 Finding a Man that Will Marry You
This skill in itself is sometimes a heart-wrenching task in women's lives, but it doesn't have to be. Think of it in terms of business. Find a client that has obvious promise (a good man) and create a contract that will be beneficial to both of you (marriage).
You will not be truly secure in letting a man take care of you until you are both married. The marriage contract creates an obligation that you will be there for each other, emotionally, physically ... legally.
Without that marital contract you won't have health insurance, you can be put on the street without reprise, his finances aren't legally shared with you, and you won't have the respect that comes with marriage. When you think about how to get a man to take care of you, those needs are your bottom line. When you have found the right man, you still need that protection for your own peace of mind.
Stay Away from Men that ...
- Are juggling different women around
- Show interest in only having sex with you
- Run away from responsibilities
- Don't seem interested in you
- Think they are doing you a favor by being in your presence
- Do not care about your feelings
- Are not interested in having a monogamous relationship with you
Pick the Man that ...
- Is highly attracted to you and crazy about you
- Believes in always paying on dates
- Wants to be by your side and always finds time to be with you
- Follows through on his promises
- Has a solid career or shows career promise
- Discusses marriage or speaks about marriage in the future (he talks about it before you ever move in together).
Skill #3 Setting Up a Win-Win Situation
You want to stay at home and look pretty while he is at work. Here is how to make that happen.
- Discuss your desire to be at home. Tell him you want to make the home a relaxing, welcoming, loving place for both of you. Tell him you will cook for him and be there for him when he needs you.
- Make sure that he can afford your combined expenses. If there is a problem, see what you can get rid of until the numbers match up. For example, get a cheaper apartment, get rid of the extra car, reduce your cell phone package, etc. You might have to make small lifestyle switches, but you won't mind it once you are able to stay at home.
- Be sexy. Just for him. Wear cute clothing in the home that entices him. After he is at work all day he will love to come home to an alluring female.
- Learn how to cook -- well. Don't make prepacked dinners from boxes and plastic bags. Cook from scratch. Present your meals at the table as something to look forward to each day. A way to a man's heart is partially through his stomach.
- Give him plenty of sex. This is the biggest way to a man's heart (when he already loves you). It is in a man's nature to desire sex, especially oral sex. Don't wait for him to initiate. Frequent sex will make your marriage much more peaceful and happy. It is a stress reliever and is the glue that helps hold two people together. Take care of him often and he will take care of you.
© 2013 Hearts and Lattes