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How to Get a Guy to Ask You out at Work

How to Get a Guy to Ask You Out at Work

How to get a guy to ask you out: talk about emotional things

How to get a guy to ask you out: talk about emotional things


Ama works in a reputable company. She is attracted to Kofi who also works in the same branch of the company.

“Kofi is incredible! I love his sense of fashion. He is so handsome. He is smart! He is a very responsible man and I want to have a relationship with him. Whenever I come to work and see him, I have to resist the urge to gather him into my arms and kiss him. I am just dying to go out with him. I wish I could just ask him out myself. That would make things a lot easier. But that is hard for me to do—you know the cultural thing about women making the first move and all that. I want him to do the asking. How do you get a guy to ask you out at work? I would really love to know so that I can make my dream come true,” she says with a sparkle in her eyes.

I know there are many other women out there who are also attracted to guys in their workplace. What can you do get a guy to ask you out, if your company does not prohibit coworkers’ dating? What are some of the clever and creative ways to get a guy you are attracted to to ask you out?

Let us find out some ways of getting a guy to ask you out below.

Stand Out at Work

Try to stand out at work and make your presence felt. Be assiduous, be punctual at work, produce quality work, and strive for excellence.

Some men find a woman who is serious about her work sexy and attractive. So, the guy may find you appealing because of your attitude, he will like you, and that may instigate him to want to know you more and he may take things from there.

Be Approachable

Make it easy for the guy to see that you love people, especially men. Crack jokes with some of the other men in the office, be friendly with them, but show that you are not interested in those men romantically.

The guy will reckon that you understand men, you know how to interact with them, and also how to deal with them. Consequently, if he likes you, he will feel that you will be an interesting woman to hang out with sometimes and that may motivate him to make a move.

Furthermore, show that you are approachable by being personally interested in the guy. You can do this by giving him time even when you are under pressure, when you are busy, or when you are loaded down with responsibilities.

For example, when you are busy at your desk and he approaches to have a problem solved, stop what you are doing for a moment, make eye contact, smile radiantly at him, and give him full attention. It will tell him that his concerns matter to you and that may make him like you. Such an attitude can encourage a guy to ask you out.

Show Good Character in the Office

Studies conducted in Hope College in Michigan have revealed that men are attracted to women who exhibit humility.

Men like humble women because they feel such women are more submissive and will give them respect when they start relationships with such women. So, adopting this attitude may make the guy desire to develop a close relationship with you and it may influence him to date you.

So, try to be mild mannered and humble when you are executing your duties at work. Mildness is a beautiful quality and a powerful proof of the humility in a person’s heart.

Even under the worst of provocation, if you maintain a control of yourself, and you manage to repress your temper, it will make the guy take notice of you and he may be attracted to you.

Try to Spend Time Alone With Him at Work

If the guy you are interested in spends a lot of time with other people in the office, particularly at lunch time, it will make it difficult for you to stay on his mind. Consequently, he may not think about you a lot and the chances that he will ask you out will be slim.

However, when you can get him to think about you often, which can happen when you spend quality time with him in the office, and he finds you interesting , the chances that he will like to date you are high.

So, come up with a strategy to occupy his time during lunch break. You may suggest that both of you go to have lunch in the cafeteria or restaurant, or find out about his favorite food and surprise him by cooking it and bringing it to him in the office.

He will love the attention you give him and that may influence him to desire to spend more time with you, which will make him take you out.

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When you converse during these moments, subtly let him know that you are feeling lonely and will have nothing to do on certain days. For example you may say, “I wish I had someone to spend Saturday nights with. It is so boring to watch television all by myself.” Then, look into his face and smile. If he likes you, he will know that there is an opportunity for him to date you and that can spur him on to ask you out.

Talk About Emotional Things

A study conducted by Arthur Aron, a psychologist at New York State University, has revealed that having conversations that revolve around emotional stuff with a member of the opposite sex, and which involves giving out personal information, can promote powerful feelings of connection.

Therefore, when you engage the guy in conversations, try to focus the chats on emotional subjects such as suffering you went through as a child, the times you have cried in the past and why, embarrassing situations you have been in before, his most treasured memories, his happiest day in life and so on.

The guy will start bonding with you emotionally, he may develop romantic feelings for you, he may want to know more about you, and that will make him ask you out.

Ask Him For Advice

Ask him for advice and it will boost his ego and make him like you

Ask him for advice and it will boost his ego and make him like you

Ask Him for Advice at Work

According to Stanford Professor Pfeffer, when you ask advice from someone, it makes the person warm up to you and like you better.

When you ask the guy for advice often, it will force both of you together, you will cooperate more, you will exchange information frequently, and that will make him bond with you.

Moreover, he will get to know you better and when you exhibit a pleasant, winning personality, that can make him like you even better and he will want to spend more time with you, which will influence him to ask you out.

So, if you do not understand something about your tasks, and you know he knows about such things, or if you have challenges doing some tasks, ask the guy what you should do. Additionally, Ask him to advice you about a career move you want to make and so on.

As he advises you, try to get close to him and touch a part of his body so that he will know that you like him.

Alternatively, share a personal problem with him. Ask him about an issue you have with your brother, or with your landlord.

Asking the guy for advice often will throw both of you together and make him spend a lot of time with you. Furthermore, he will appreciate the fact that you think he is wise and that can make him love you.

When he obliges you, pass comments such as, “You know, you are kind and very intelligent! I would love to spend more time with you to hear more of your wisdom and intelligence….” Pause there, make eye contact, and smile at him.

He will get the message that you like him and he may want to explore the friendship further. Consequently, he may ask you out.

Choose Your Words Carefully

Use "we" often instead of "I" so that he will feel a connection

Use "we" often instead of "I" so that he will feel a connection

Use Great Communication

When you converse with the guy, tell him something you admire about his work ethic or his personality. He will feel appreciated and like you for that.

While conversing, after chatting for a sometime, just pause, look thoughtful for a moment, and then say, “I really like your attitude to work. You arrive early, you focus 100%, and you give fantastic contributions at meetings. You need to tell me how you do it over lunch one of these days. I am free on Friday and Saturday nights…” He will see that you like him which will pave the way for him to ask you out.

Furthermore, use “we” words when you talk to him and not “I” words. For example, say, “We both like soccer, don’t we,” when you find out he also loves your passion instead of saying, “You also love watching soccer? I love soccer too!”

Using “we” often will give him the sense that you share solidarity and that may make him feel that you have a common ground on which you can have fun. That may influence him to ask you out because he will reckon you can both have great fun together.


God is the one who created romantic relationships and He will be very delighted if you involve Him when you want to make the guy date you. That will tell Him that you see Him as the Heavenly Father who is interested in the affairs of His children. He will love you for that.

So, pray to Him about it. You may pray a prayer such as, “Dear Father, I have a problem which I want to share with You. I like Isaac, who works at my office, a lot. He is such a gentleman, so intelligent, funny, and caring. I want to have a closer relationship with him and even hope that I can marry him. Father, please help me. If it is Your will that we marry, let Isaac develop feelings for me as I make efforts to attract his attention and spend more time with him. Work on his heart and make him ask me out so that I will be happy. You say in Your word that we should ask and we will receive so that our joy may be full. This is what I want and so ask You for it. Please do it for me and I will give you the glory. Amen.”


To get a guy to ask you out at work, do your best to produce excellence at work, be approachable, exhibit humility, get him to spend quality time with you as well as try to use the kind of communication that will make him know that you like him and want him to date you.

All these strategies will increase your chances of getting that dream date, which may be the start of a wonderful friendship or even more!

How to Get a Guy to Ask You Out at Work

© 2017 Isaac Yaw Asiedu Nunoofio


Isaac Yaw Asiedu Nunoofio (author) from Ghana on January 25, 2020:

Good comments! But what if you are really attracted to someone you work with and you feel you will be happy together? Do you deny your feelings just because what?

Slartybartfast on January 14, 2020:

Never date a coworker or someone who attends the same college or university.

Don't wiz on the electric fence.

Don't spit in the wind.

Don't eat that yellow Snow.

Simple common sense rules.

LimeyFeline on October 02, 2017:

I don't think it's a great idea to date a coworker, but that being said another way to get someone to ask you out is to just ask them out yourself. Easy peasy and straight to the point.

Deborah Demander from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD on October 02, 2017:

These are great ways to get someone at work to ask you out, but I don't think mixing dating and work is usually a good idea. It gets too messy after you break up.

Thanks for writing.


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