Marriage; Feeling Neglected, unattractive and Ignored
The first few years of marriage are blissful and interesting. You only start to learn about each other after four years. Most marriages fail because there is a lack of communication and interest from each partner in some way.
Once there are kids and work responsibilities, love takes a back seat and most of us get stuck into a rut, doing our regular boring and mundane chores.
The pressures of raising children, debts and being a housewife can be factors of a poor and neglected relationship with your spouse.
Many people adapt to their lives and focus on other things which leads to couples either splitting, having affairs, getting divorced or just living unhappily ever after.
If you are a working parent then you can understand that by the end of the afternoon, you and your spouse are absolutely exhausted and all you can afford to do is eat, watch a bit of television and go to sleep.
Housewives also have a busy schedule, running around for their children and their husbands, who inevitably take you for granted. They assume that because you are at "home" all day that you do not get tired and nobody tends to care to help you.
Men in general work, eat, watch television and either explore the world online or go to bed. They also get stuck into a rut, taking you for granted and the chances of them complementing you are slim to none.
The most important way to get a man to adore you is to let him know that you feel ignored, bored and unloved. With everything in a relationship, communication is very important and you need to make him understand how you feel and how it is effecting you.
Remind him of how you appreciated the little things that he used to do for you and explain that it takes time and effort to feel good and attractive, which means that he needs to pay you more attention.
Men that work too hard and spend most of their time working, whether it is at home or in an office, usually cannot do anything else in their time off. These men have been so used to the pressures of work and deadlines that they secretly miss the adrenalin rush if they are not working. They have put all their time and energy into their careers that this has become their life, lifestyle and they have no idea on how to balance family, love and life out of a work environment.
In order to get this man to pay attention you will have to work very hard to make him understand that family and love are important and there is a life outside of the office.
You need to be supportive and understand that his work is important and that he is a very motivated man, working to aim higher.... or he is bored with his life and has buried himself in his work.
Making him adore you is not going to be an easy task but it can be done, it is possible and you will get results if you follow a few simple steps.
Steps to get a workaholic to adore you
1. Surprise him at work by making an appointment with the secretary to see him. Make up a fake name if you must so that there are no excuses.
2. Walk into his office and kiss him passionately whilst sitting on his desk. Flash some skin, whisper something naughty in his ear to get him excited and then leave quickly.
3. Before you leave let him know that you are waiting for him at home.
4. Dress up and look hot as often as you can. He will notice and start wondering why.
5. Compliment him and let him know that he looks hot or that you like his shirt.
Being with a workaholic means that you need to be spontaneous. Surprise him and change your behaviour in order for him to notice that something is happening.
Ask him about his day and be patient, sound interested and slowly buid up to flirty and fun conversation.
A workaholic needs you to be spontaneous, do something out of the ordinary and drag him outdoors! He needs you to let him see that there is a world out there that is fun and that you are fun to be around.
My Husband - The Couch Potato
If your husband is one of those guys that comes from work and goes directly to the couch, gets up for dinner and then goes back to the couch, then goes from the couch nap to his bed and spends his weekend in front of the television, you can easily change his ways.
Men that are "couch potato's" have gotten used to the rut that they have are in and their idea of fun and relaxation is watching the television whilst holding the remote.
They are not adventurous or interested in anything else other than the screen.
You probably know more about sport, the news and celebrities than anyone else could and you have spent more time explaining the ending of a movie to your husband rather than watching it together.
If you do get this man outside you will have to find a place that is far away from a t.v screen or you might be on a date by yourself.
Get the Couch Potato away from the Screen
It is as simple as this; cut the electricity or avoid paying your bill!
If you can't do that then find an erotic dvd and once the kids have gone to sleep, let him know that you have something that you would like to watch. He will soon be wide awake and probably won't make it to the end of this movie either.
Before he gets home from work, let him know that you will meet him at a bar or restaurant because that is the only way you will be able to get him on a date.
On the weekend, as soon as you open your eyes get up and get naughty! Keep him entertained in the bedroom for a while to break the monotony of the usual weekend routine.
Once you have enjoyed a morning in bed, let him know that you would like to go outdoors and find something fun for you to do. Sunshine and exercise will make him feel alive and he might actually want to suggest doing something fun if you challenge him and let him know that life is boring and you need some fun.
While you are outside, be flirty and fun and forget about the fact that you are married to this man, by being his friend for the day.
You could suggest that you both go out and watch a sport in a bar, once a week so that he will see that you are interested in his interest and he will want to do something in return.
Mr Self Absorbed
Unlucky you! If you are married to a man that has not realised he is married and has a partner to consider, than you are in for a major challenge!
This is the man that chooses what to eat, where to go, what movies to watch and tends to forget that he does not live alone and has a partner to consider.
He is the guy that will always put himself first, never take what you have to say into consideration and you probably find that you have followed his lead for so long that it is something you have become used to.
This partner is alone in debt, raising children, work and nobody else but himself ever has anything to worry about.
He is the type of guy that you cannot communicate with because everything will eventually be about him and even if you try to let him know that you feel badly, he will always turn it around and make the conversation about how he feels.
Steps to Get Mr Self Absorbed to Notice You
The first thing that you have to do is STOP taking his selfish behaviour and readjust your thinking.
He needs to know that you exist and that there are two people in this relatioship.
Talking to him is not really going to go well at first so you will have to try, try to try again.
Most self absorbed men are control freaks and getting the remote in your corner is a challenge all on its own.
He needs to know that there are other men out there that will notice you and make you feel good about yourself.
He needs to understand that you exist.
How do you get a self absorbed, control freak to notice that you are alive and well?
Simple... Get yourself in front of a mirror and take a good look at all the great features.
Accentuate your good parts and get your hair done, have your make- up done and go out and by yourself something nice to wear.
Make a booking at your favourite restaurant and let him know that you are going out for dinner. He will probably say that he is too tired or you can't afford it but you need to tell him that it is already booked, that you can afford it, you need to go and you are going with or without him.
This will let him know that you do not need him and that you are self sufficient and taking control of your own life... nobody can live in the shadows of someone else forever, so TAKE A STAND!
Record a show that you would like to watch and let him know in a nice way that you have a recording and you would like to watch it.
On the weekend if he has made plans with himself, let him know that you are not interested and that you have plans to do something else.
For this man you will have to let him understand that you are a person too and that as a partner he needs to be less self absorbed.
Explain to him that you have hobies and interests of your own and if you do not then this is the time to find some.
Once you can get him out, be confident and make your presence known to others. Men will look at you and he will notice that he is not the only man out there.
Set aside a date night once a week and challenge him to do the things that you like to do and in return find interest in something that he too enjoys.
At some stage you will either find a balance and a happy medium between the two of you or you will find yourself drifting away.
Go back to where you started together and if it is a place that you went to on your honeymoon, then go back there and try to remind him that you miss that guy.
There could be many reasons why he has become self absorbed and taken you for granted. Find out if there is anything bothering him and change your routine. If you have been cooking, cleaning and picking up after him then it is time for you to change your life and alter the routine by getting him to clean or cook and perhaps find yourself an activity out of the home environment so that he has to adapt to doing things for himself too.
He will soon realise how much you do for him and he will start missing his usual routines.
Make Him Adore You
Most marriages have their ups and downs and there comes a time in every marriage when someone feels neglected or excluded, unloved and unappreciated.
Communication is important in order for your partner to understand what is going on. Nobody can read your mind and if you don't tell him what is wrong, then he cannot change it.
Once you have let your partner know that you feel lonely and ignored and that he makes you feel unattractive, you need to make him understand that you cannot live this way and things need to change. Giving ideas of change will help and he might be willing to try to reconnect with you again.
Many of us take our partners for granted and everyone seems to have become used to the way it has worked before but drifting apart is serious because it could lead to affairs or divorce.
So why not work on your marriage because this is the person that you fell in love with and the guy that you married, who once loved and adored you, is still in there somewhere but he just needs to be reminded on how important you are to him.
Talk, try new things and refresh your marriage by starting over with the person that you met. Kids, family, work and responsibilities are a part of your lives, all you need to do is find the balance between all of these things and your relationship.
Treat him as if it is a new relationship and see him as your friend. Work your way up from there and allow him the opportunity to try and adore you once again.
If all else fails then your happiness is important and you should feel loved, adored and attractive. Make your relationship work, try everything that you can do and if he doesn't try hard enough, then let him know that he could lose you to someone who will try.
Steps to Feeling Adored
Life is for the living and to feel is important.
Change your routines by finding new things to do with your time.
Be spontaneous and do not take no for an answer.
See your partner as a friend and make it as if you have just started dating; forget about the bad things and focus on the future.
Communicate your feelings to him and let him know that you need love and you are not getting it.
Underlying problems can be resolved if you both try and work on your relationship together.
Love him and adore him, flatter him and make him feel as if he is the most amazing man that you know and in return he might do the same.
If he does not show you any love or affection and is not willing to try, then it is time for you take your happiness into your own hands.
Life is short, it should be balanced, fun and full of love.