Your friends, or the group of people that you most socialize with should be the direction that you want your life to move in. If you have a group of very diverse, intelligent, sharing and very hands-on friends, it gives people a sense of the type of person you are through your friends.
If you are with new friends that you want to impress, and they question the people that you socialize with, it may be time to re-evaluate the people that you are with. It's sad to say, and it is a little on the shallow side, but the truth isn't always easy to swallow.
Every now and again, we need to check the dipstick with our relationships to see if it's headed in a direction that we can live with. The old saying that "if you want to soar with eagles, start hanging out with eagles", holds a lot of truth to it. Like a good stew, everything you put into it has a purpose, a taste, and they all work together to make a successful and tasty meal. The same is so with friends - our group of friends add their special touch to make the entire group successful at whatever they set out to do. If you have friends that are not adding to the enrichment of the group, or you find that more of you have to pull and carry them along, it may be time to cut them loose. As friends grow individually, they sometimes grow apart and it may be just as painful for those that you're trying to cut loose.
In this hub, we will discover what makes friends boring, and how to go about turning them loose to find other friends that will work for them.
Most Boring People
We have a saying in our family: If you are bored, you must be boring!
Most people that I know that have complained about being so bored all the time are the most boring people I know. It may have stemmed from their childhood, because most of the time, it's the kids that are bored. You often hear kids exclaim that they are so bored while the weather is nice out, there is always an underlying problem, because kids know more than anyone how to play. They just need a little direction, a boost in their imagination department, or most of the time they want some of your time to get connected again.
When they're adults, and they still can't manage what to do with themselves, it's too taxing for us to teach them what they should have been taught when they were younger. The problem is not just that they're bored, but more that they won't stop saying it, or acting like it - and there is nothing more un-nerving than talking to someone who seems as if you will bore them to death.
We all like people who are happy and seem to know exactly what they want from life - we all gravitate towards these people in hopes that some of their 'mojo' will rub off on us. If we don't have a few friends like this to charge our batteries and rev up our motors every now and again, we certainly can't have a few friends that will drain all the life in us that's left.
My Friend is Boring
If you have a boring friend... first of all, I'm sorry. I don't think that boring people will always be boring - there are those that are, and always will be boring I'm sure - but it takes an event in their life to take the focus off themselves.
Hey, I'd rather hang out with people that are too damn busy than with people that are so boring I'd gouge an eye out just to have an excuse to leave. Events in life changes people; birth of a child, a new girlfriend, new motorcycle... hmm, new friends.
The thing of it is, it's takes a significant event for some people to take notice that they need to get it out of neutral, and put it in gear. Just don't make the mistake of thinking someone is boring because they are tired - if they're tired from working two jobs that's one thing. If they always seem to be tired there may be health issues that you as a friend may need to speak up and say that they need to check it out. Being boring because you are always tired seems like a cop-out, but if there are tell-tale signs that health issues are evident, you may look like the evil friend that left a friend when he/she was in need of a friend.
Well, if you're considering ousting a friend from the group, you've already done the homework and know the ins/outs of the friend you've got your cross-hairs on. You've probably got the job to oust him/her because it was you that brought them into your little haven of close knit friends.
So, you've got the problem, and you need a fix... it's very easy actually. Alienating a person that you no longer want in your group takes kid gloves and a whole lot of patience, and tact. If you don't have tact, hell, tell them straight and that will be that.
But, life has taught us that we don't burn ANY bridges - ANY! You never know, your boring friends could be the next multi-million dollar lottery winners that don't have any family, and are just dying to show their friends how much they mean to them with lavish gifts... oh, but, you're the tactless one that told them to git, and now you're got.
Okay, so this is how you do it;
You and your swanky friends love to go 'clubbin' - that's night clubbing to you folks that fall asleep by 8pm. Whatever it is that you know they can't stand, start doing with your friends. You can do it even without telling them - if they find out, let them know that you know that they can't stand clubbing so you knew they didn't want to join them.
This is the first wedge into the wall that will eventually break off. The more things you do with other friends, and the less you do with this friend will add to more wedges until you'll be like middle school kids that just grew apart. It's not unusual, it happens all the time, new interests develop that pulls one friend this way, and before you know it, it's done.
It's sad really, but it's a fact of life. Nobody needs to suffer, but we owe it to each other to not put more energy and emotion into it. Friends are always friends, until the years pass, then they're just old friends - has a romantic ring to it yes?
Avoid Boring People
Don't make the same mistake twice. Know the symptoms - the anatomy of a boring friend. When you ask them what they did last weekend because the weather was so beautiful, if they say nothing... take caution and back away slowly... excuse yourself, you left your car running, your aunt is sick, oh - phone is ringing, its your boss...
Take your time bringing new friends into your circle, and be very protective about who you or anyone else brings into the group...
By the way, it's always good to ask yourself what you did last week that was exciting, or what trip you took or will take in a two week span in the past, or future. In other words, either you did something interesting in the last two weeks, or will be doing something interesting in the next two weeks.
If you're grimacing because you can't think of anything significant... at all... even now... even now... Well, I should inform you that we went clubbing last night without you because I know you never have a good time when we're clubbing...
Kawika Chann (author) from Northwest, Hawaii, Anykine place on May 19, 2014:
I hate turning the corner and boom - there they are, right in your grill... small talk, nervous laughter, forgot about the last lie you told them when you last excused yourself out... as always, thanks for your visit and comment FA. Peace. Kawi.
FlourishAnyway from USA on May 19, 2014:
Funny. I usually do the ole duck and run. Other plans. Gotta go wash my hair. The cat and I are watching something on tv tonight.