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How Can I Get Over a Heartbreak?

A relationship break-up is hard irrespective of the state of the relationship, it could overwhelm someone's happy personality and replace it with tearful depression. Everyone acts differently when they are going through a series of heartbreaks. It’s OK to feel sad, and mad after a break-up.

Sometimes you need to prioritize looking after yourself, and there are things that you could do to make it less complicated to handle. You must do things like hanging out with buddies, eating healthy, and getting enough sleep.

After a break-up, most people suffer a range of tough emotions, like disappointment, anger, or guilt, which may also lead to feeling rejected, confused, or lonely.

Some humans feel as though their lives have been turned upside down and that things will never be good again. Many humans may feel restless, lose their appetite, and have less motivation or power to do anything. It is tempting to try to recover from a breakup, but it takes time, effort, and support.

A relationship break-up can be a very difficult situation

A relationship break-up can be a very difficult situation

Why it hurts

Some people may ask, "am I ever going to move on?" your pain is understandable. Break-ups may be one of the most terrifying experiences you’ve ever had to bear. You may also see yourself going through those and perhaps other typical levels of grief:

Denial: ‘It can’t be over. He'll change his mind in a day or two.’

Grief is an overwhelming emotion. It’s a common response to the intense and often shocking feelings by pretending the loss or change isn’t happening. Denying it offers you more time to better absorb the news and begin to process it. This is a common defense mechanism and helps prepare you for the intensity of the situation.

Anger: ‘How could he be this wicked? I can’t stand him!’, I hate him.

Where denial can be regarded as a coping mechanism, anger is a masked effect. Anger hides the many feelings and pains which you feel. This anger can be redirected at your ex. You might even aim your anger at objects. Anger may also mask itself in the form of bitterness or resentment.

Bargaining: "If only I had spent more time with her, she would have stayed".

During heartbreak, you can feel weak and powerless. In those times of intense feelings, it’s not unusual to look for means to regain yourself. Bargaining is a line of protection in opposition to the emotions of grief. It enables you to put off disappointment, confusion, or hurt.
In the bargaining stage of your pain, you may find yourself making lots of “what if” and “if only” statements.

Depression: I'm unlovable. No one will ever love me.’

In the early stage of breakups, you may be running from the emotions, wanting to be a step ahead of them. By this point, you might have embraced the feelings. You may also isolate yourself from others to completely deal with the loss.

Acceptance: I'm going to be fine'. The breakup hurt, but I'm getting better.’

Acceptance isn't necessarily a happy or uplifting level of grief. It doesn’t mean you’ve moved beyond the heartbreak. It does, however, imply you’ve accepted it and come to understand what it means in your life

You may also feel very different at this level. Because you've had a major change in your lifestyle, and that also changes the way you feel about things. Acceptance is a way to see that there can be more good days than terrible, but there may also be bad days too.

The good thing is that you can reach the acceptance stage. How long it takes to get there depends on many things, including how long the relationship lasted and how far it progressed. In the meantime, how will you deal with your heartbreak?

Don't let your feelings of sadness overwhelm you

Don't let your feelings of sadness overwhelm you

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Moving Forward

You might also have heard the saying, Time heals all wounds. When you first break up, those words might ring hollow. That’s because time is a part of the answer. To illustrate: A cut in skin will heal in time, however, it hurts now. You need to prevent the bleeding and calm the pain. You are also required to protect it from being infected. It's the same with an emotional wound. Right now, it hurts. But there are steps you can take to lessen the pain and prevent it from being infected with bitterness. Time will do that rest, but how will you do yours? Try the following:

  • Allow yourself to grieve. There’s nothing wrong with crying. A wise book says, " there is time for everything, A time to weep and even a time to wail." Shedding tears doesn’t mean you’re weak.
  • Give yourself some space. You don't have to shut your ex out of your life, but it's best to try to avoid the person for some time after the break-up – this also includes online, too.
  • Keep yourself busy. You would probably find yourself with too much time for yourself, mainly on weekends. Plan and do things that make you happy which also include associating with people who care about you, do not isolating yourself.
  • give yourself a break. Do things that you find relaxing, like watching a movie, listening to music, meditating, reading, or playing a sport.

Do things that keep you relaxed like yoga or meditation

Do things that keep you relaxed like yoga or meditation

  • Talk to families, friends, and others who can support you. It's OK to want some time to yourself, but associating with people who care and supported you helps get your mind off things, and get a positive attitude.

Keep yourself busy by handing out with friends and family

Keep yourself busy by handing out with friends and family

  • Try not to use alcohol and other tablets to deal with the pain. They might help you feel better at first, but the results will leave you feeling worse than ever before.
  • Take care of your physical health. Workouts and proper nutrition will help replace the energy lost because of the emotional toll of a breakup.
Alcohol doesn't solve anything

Alcohol doesn't solve anything

Some advice that will help you get through a relationship break-up:

Whatever you’re feeling now will not last forever. You can also make the effort to recover and recognize that there will be good days and awful days.

If you ended the relationship, it doesn’t always make the break-up decision any simpler.

If a person ended the relationship with you, it doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you. Don't take it personally because relationship break-ups happen all the time.

It’s better not to be in a relationship than to be in an awful one – don't forget, you don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy.

Try not to feel embarrassed or fear what others will say. Now is the time to focus on yourself.

Try to look at the positives in a break-up. You can learn more about yourself and what you want in a future relationship.

Remember that with time and help, you can get over a breakup and come out feeling stronger at the end.

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