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How To Dive Back Into the Dating Pool After the Lockdown

Sheila is an artist who is often inspired by the beauty in the world.

Dating can be fun again!


"And just like that, we could date again."

So what now?

If you're like me, you've probably been experiencing weird dreams and a sense of hopelessness (coupled with being horny and isolated) during the lockdown. We went through many stages, including the initial "denial" stage when we thought it would last about 2 weeks, or like a much needed vacation break from work.

Denial: it's not just a river that runs through Egypt.

Then we mastered the art of keeping faith for an endless amount of time as we started to realize that this was no blip in the timesheet. So what's left in the recovery stages:

  1. Denial. See above.
  2. Anger. Sometimes getting pissed about what's out of your control is the fastest way to get over the injustice.
  3. Bargaining. Can we all just get along? Can you all stop going out without a mask to protest? Why am I being punished? I never did anything wrong. All signs of this stage.
  4. Depression. That sense of hopelessness just before you see the light at the end of the tunnel... but businesses are opening up again! Guess what? Light's at the end of this tunnel!
  5. Acceptance. OK, I'm done with dating, and I'll be happy being the crazy cat lady for the rest of my life. That's the acceptance stage. You're ready to dip your toes back into the dating pool!

I recently wrote an article about how dating has changed while we're in a state of transition. Well today was my tipping point. Last night I was perusing old messages in my Tinder account. One guy I messaged wrote about all the fantastic meals he could prepare. I actually dated him for about seven months and in that time, I didn't have a chance to try any of them. My message was pretty much about that. And I added that at least who I say I am, I am.

Some of us suffer from Imposter Syndrome. Some of us are just imposters.

The other guy I wrote a message to I've never met, but he did get my phone number. I joked that he "disappeared faster than a friend who owed money." His response was that I shouldn't lend money to people I don't feel OK with not being paid back, and that I have his number if I want to contact him.

My response was that I knew that now (about not trusting friends to lend money) but that I was going through my old messages and admitted that I almost forgot him. And here's the catch: He responded in a flirty way.

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A crouching tiger is still a crouching tiger waiting for the right opportunity.

He said that he wasn't making enough of an effort to be "unforgettable," and for the next half hour, we exchanged texts about wanting to continue where we left off. And here's where I realized that nothing is lost during these odd times.

I agreed to text him if/when I'm ready to meet. And in his words, "the castle doors may be opened" (we've been joking that he's a king, and he's seeking a new queen for his castle... swoon!).

So my advice to all of you noble countrymen who have been contained in the Covid Convent for almost three months like me: Take a chance and LIVE AGAIN!

We've all been suffering from lack of human contact, both singles and married couples alike. But for those of us who are single, I believe we've all been infected with the "comeonandcomeoverI'mhorny" virus.

Last night I had a very sensual dream. Let's just say that I was having pleasure with everyone and anyone I could. Wishful thinking? Maybe? Hopeful future? Possibly.

How will you spend the next few weeks getting reacquainted with society?

Let's find a way to block fear from disrupting this time of renewal. Sure we're scared, and sure there's risks. Be safe: wear masks (for now) and don't meet when either of you have symptoms. But do take a chance and see new prospects!

Life is a journey and you'll be sure that you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

Time to have coffee together.


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