Sophie is a professional fashion and lifestyle expert. She obtained her master's degree in psychology from Boston University.
Here's how to bounce back after your breakup, so you can move on in life and find love again.
You're going to feel a range of emotions: you might feel deeply heartbroken or relieved. You might feel furious with him or desperate to win him back.
Once you've felt those feelings, you're ready to rebuild your life and move on. There are so many ways to do this.
Starting the process
A good first step is to write down exactly what happened in your breakup, so you can recall the different events, feelings, and details. This will help you re-live the pain or the relief, and the better you can re-create your breakup in your mind, the easier the grieving process will be.
Breakups are really hard on all of us, especially if you're in the midst of grieving or recovering from a loss.
"It's normal to feel upset and disappointed," Elisabeth Kubler-Ross wrote. "And it's important to allow yourself to feel that way."
But feeling those feelings and then feeling them again isn't how you move on from a relationship.
"It's a sign of emotional maturity to find a way to process your feelings in a healthy way so that they don't get stuck, and you don't remain stuck in this raw and difficult stage," Alena Kronerman, a certified life coach and a board-certified clinical hypnotherapist, tells Business Insider.
1. Accepting the hurt and damage that comes with a breakup
Breakups are very painful and there is no way to hide it. People will definitely ask the question – what happened? And why did it happen? As you talk about what happened with your friends and family, you will feel so much pain and the emotions will be really intense. But the pain will pass. It might take a little bit of time, but it will pass. You just need to accept the hurt and accept the damage that comes with a breakup.
It's not a "get over it", and move on process. It's a process of learning how to live with a loss and to move forward. Every person has a different experience of loss, but it comes with the understanding that you can't help the brokenhearted, you can only support and love them through the process. You may have to deal with the breakup every day, but it gets easier with time.
2. Healing from the breakup
The first thing you have to do after a breakup is heal your heart. It takes a lot of time and healing to move forward. Your heart will feel empty without your ex-partner, but the healing process will take time. All of the sad feelings of loss, anger and frustration, the loss of what you loved and who you loved, will be with you forever.
You will need to make the necessary changes in your life in order to heal. Changing how you interact with people or how you spend your time, being able to forgive yourself and continue to be positive even when you feel like shit. If you decide to stay in a relationship with your ex, you will need to understand that you have to take responsibility for the time together and how much it was worth it. The pain from a breakup can haunt you for a long time, but learning how to deal with it and feeling strong and positive will be the most important thing you will learn in the process of moving on.
3. Picking up the pieces and moving on
It's really hard to move on with a broken heart, but you have to go through it. You have to understand that you can't continue to feel the same emotions that you felt when you first lost the love of your life. You have to let go. You need to pick up the pieces of your broken heart, and you have to start healing. It might take years, but healing takes time.
You have to feel the sadness, but you have to stop feeling the pain. And the reason why you have to let go is because you have to find the love of your life again, not for the first time, but for the first time for the right reasons. You will feel the sadness and the pain, but you will also feel the love that is waiting to be realized.
I know it can be a true undertaking to recover from a breakup fully.
However, trust that time will heal all wounds, regardless of whether you choose to process the breakup or not.
That's all for now.
Thank you for reading.
This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.
© 2022 Sophie Wright