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How Do I Ask a Hot Girl Out on a Date

I'm an eclectic gal with many diverse interests. They include relationships, film, trivia, and an assortment of other things.

I Want This Girl. What Do I Do?

You're in a bar. You look across the room. There she is. The girl of your dreams. Your heart races. Your loins buzz. A bead of sweat starts to form on your forehead. Your feet want to race across the room, but your brain puts a stop to it. You have no idea what to do. You ask yourself an inevitable series of questions for which you have no answer:

How do I ask this girl out?

Why won't she go out with me?

How do I get this girl?

Will this girl to go out with me?

How do I stop the flop sweat?

Gentlemen, guys, men, boys - I am a girl. I have girl parts. Clearly, I have girlfriends. I've put this article together to help you hone your technique. Read it and the next time you look across the room and see that girl, you'll know what to do. And don't fret, this isn't all about bar-hopping. The techniques in this article will work no matter whether you are 8 or 80.

Could that guy be you?

Could that guy be you?

Ways Not to Ask Out a Girl

Let's start with the bad moves. Obviously, bad moves don't work and make you look like a jerk and feel like a loser. Sometimes, it's better to start with the things that don't work rather than jump right to what does work. Failure allows us to reflect on our errors and learn. Realize that your male brethren have all had uncertain moments. Of course, women have them too. No one, no matter how naturally gifted, becomes an expert at something without practice. You'll need to practice. You will probably fail a few times. Hey, you'll probably fall flat on your face a few times. At the very least, you can begin on the right foot. Avoid some of these boneheaded moves when trying to ask out a girl.

Have A Friend Do It For You

Nothing screams lack of self-confidence louder than urinating on yourself during a public speaking engagement. Next in the loser Olympics goes to getting a friend to ask out a girl you want to ask out. Okay, maybe it's not second, but it's in the top ten. Is that same friend going to kiss her too? Maybe he'll marry her for you also. From the female point-of-view, you're saying that you don't have the guts to ask us out yourself. That is profoundly unattractive. We suddenly imagine walking in the woods with you. We imagine approaching a dangerous, wild animal. Suddenly we feel your reassuring hand shoving us in the back as you run the other way. Oooh, sign me up.

Use Cheesy Pick-Up Lines

There are lines that most of us women have heard over and over again. Any guy worth five seconds of our time should have thought through some of them before using one. The first thing that comes out of your mouth says a lot about you. If you use a mediocre line, then you're mediocre. If you use a boring line, then you're probably boring. Look, you don't have to be Shakespeare, but a little creativity goes a long way.

Texting or Emailing

I know some of you younger men will object, particularly because I'm betting this has worked for you. However, I'm telling you you'll have more success with the direct, in-person approach. Texting and emailing is impersonal and conveys a lack of intimacy. Ultimately, if it's something you rely on, you'll get lazy and your overall skill will decline. Over time, you won't know what to do face-to-face. Those are the situations that count. If you have to text, do it as a reason to meet somewhere. Then you can do the asking in person.

Beating Around the Bush

So you've worked up the courage to approach a woman and strike up a conversation. However, you want to ask her out, but you can't quite pull the trigger. You talk about going places, doing things, but you don't come out directly and ask her out. The conversation goes from five minutes to ten minutes to thirty minutes. I guarantee the woman is trying to figure out a way to get the heck out of there. Or kill herself. Do yourself and the girl a favor, be direct. You don't have to ask her out in five words or less, but don't let the conversation drag on forever. The quicker the ask, the more confidence you convey. Confidence is sexy.

How would you approach her?

How would you approach her?

Be Confident

This is the most important piece of advice I have to offer. No matter where you go, women like confident men. On the other hand, if you lack confidence, you are going to strike out more often. Don't convey that you need the date. Believe in yourself. When you are positive about yourself, the chances of getting a good answer rise dramatically. Don't worry about the result. Worry about the presentation. If the presentation is good, the results will come. And if she says no, don't grovel. Just smile, turn around, and think about the next girl you're going to ask out.

Send a Hand-Written Note

There's something about a hand-written note that's tender and cool. Used well, it will make that girl you want feel special. Are you a professional poet? If so, compose some great verse. If not, avoid that sort of thing. Bad poetry is really bad. However, a note that's direct, heartfelt, and done well, will get her attention. It's old school and interesting.

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Look Like You Enjoy Asking Her Out

Nothing is more attractive than a smile except a nice butt and a six-pack. Of course, you may find the act of approaching and asking out a woman a torturous experience. Don't write the torture all over your face. Us ladies know when you're shaky and it becomes torture for us too. Relax, smile, have fun. Pretend you're James Bond. Try not to drool. Smiling is contagious. It tells us that you're cool under pressure. Women like that. A lot.

Breath Mints

Pause for a moment. Let's take a short interlude for a message on the importance of good breath and teeth-brushing. Imagine you do everything right. Your approach is flawless. You get near her. Next, you utter the perfect line. Your breath smells like an elephant's butt. Remember, you're going to talk to her. Make sure your breath smells good and you smell good.

Be Creative, Not Weird

You want to give the girl something a little different, but you don't go crazy. For instance, if you want to ask her out, you can always walk up and be simple."Hey, do you want to go out"? It's dull, but direct. Then you can put a little spin on that mediocrity. Maybe you walk up and give her a piece of candy and launch into a conversation. Whatever. What you don't want to do is something that makes you seem weird. Asking a woman out is no time for weird. Be a little innovative, but don't go crazy.

Don't Just Ask Her Out

Don't just ask her out. Be specific.

"Do you want to go out sometime?"

That could mean a cup of coffee or a weekend at the local swing dance and jello eating contest. Tell her what you want to do. No girl wants to make an open-ended commitment with somebody when you just met him. Unless he's Justin Timberlake. Besides, knowing exactly what you want to do with a girl shows confidence and planning and is very attractive. There's a big difference between "do you want to hang out?" and "Would you join me for some coffee? I know this great bench overlooking the pier. It's spectacular at dusk."

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2011 Sychophantastic


Joseph Agole on July 07, 2014:

wha a fabulous hub! i never used 2 knw dis bt nw i thnk i am a beta man,thnx a lot.

Mellonyy on July 09, 2012:

Hi, Sychophantastic!

I liked this part most..."I'm telling you you'll have more success with the direct, in-person approach.." It's true. Thumbs up! I also wrote article on similar topic and I follow you now. Shared.

Jameshank from Japan, NY, California on October 23, 2011:

How about "Do you live around here often?"

naturalsolutions on September 19, 2011:

For me there's a lot of best way to ask a girl to go out, it is just depends on the man self confidence. If a man can't talk clearly to a girl the he had zero chance to ask her out.

get-a-girl from St. Augustine, Florida on August 28, 2011:

Great tips. Those cheesy pickup lines are definitely not the way to go EVER!!!

danielleantosz from Florida on August 20, 2011:

Good tips. A good old "Want to grab coffee sometime" usually works...unless you have already been a creeper :)

happychappyjb from UK on August 15, 2011:

I don't like texting, but It must be intemidating to always a call from me. Just imaginging how it would be like...

One important thing about guies, wrt The first picture on the top, we don't like to be someone else. Yp its that Male ego. On another note it makes that girl look like a prosi... Cheers J

ThoughtSandwiches from Reno, Nevada on August 15, 2011:

Hi Sychophantastic...I'm a lame guy...perhaps this will help. If it doesn't...well that would be a lack of performance on my part...not a lack of preparation on your part! So it's "creative" ...NOT weird?? THAT explains the look on that girl's face... Great Hub! Voted Up, funny, useful, and interesting.

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