No relationship is ever a waste of time. If it didn't bring you what you want, it taught you what you don't want.
Being Second by Strength After Instinct of Survival, It's Unconsciously Ever Active
Covered well under the threshold of awareness is this volcano of desire to live and to procreate -- masked under much rationalizing.
Like, when your loving and loyal wife is slapping a coat of makeup on her face, you just approve, being fond of your woman's taking care if her looks, right? Indeed, what could be more natural than that.
In reality though, totally unconsciously she still wants to be wanted by other males, and envied by other females in the herd. In her conscious mind, her hunt for a man is over, and that should mean that her need to look attractive should be over as well, right?
While it may be so with a female deer, it's not so with a woman, as that primordial instinct has also evolved into a socially accepted, if not also necessary and now "natural", norm of maintaining our good looks.
But listen, you can't blame her for something that's so instinctual on those deep levels as a need for shelter and food; because, by blaming her, you might as well see yourself as an "unfaithful dog" for checking out your friend's wife when no one's looking.
That's what I am trying to make clear in this article -- it's stronger than us, it's in our default biology, together with breathing and eating. Over 90% of all mental processes are unconscious, meaning that we have no control over it.
While we may suppress it when it surfaces to our field of consciousness -- albeit many are not actually very good at that -- we can't prevent it from being there, strong as it is.
Indeed, this unconscious eroticism is as much of a reflex reaction as is our salivating when we see someone licking a lemon (check your own mouth right now), or when we see someone yawning.
Now, how has it evolved into different outlets in our collective consciousness.
Have you noticed how, ever since the so called "sexual revolution" started some decades back, rock 'n roll, twist, and most of the modern dancing music involves group dances, not any more couples holding each other?
You see how they are rocking a lot with the midsections of their bodies, and often turning to face another and another dancer in the group. Hey, those really tuned into the spirit of the rhythm are even making faces that pretty much express eroticism.
Those guitar players are certainly doing it a lot, while also treating the neck of their guitars with a sort of phallic symbolism.
Believe it or not, but at those deep unconscious levels, that dancing floor is as good as a site of an orgy event -- while none of them is really conscious about it at all.
I am good enough person to forgive you, but not stupid enough to trust you again.
Porn and Harems -- Pointing at Our Primordial Polygamic Nature
If there is anything true about the Darwinian theory of evolution, our closest down the line relatives are apes -- and they are not known for being monogamous.
At this point, the satirist in me is begging me to allude here about so many people showing other mental characteristics of monkeys as well -- which is evident in the state of our world -- but O.K., I will just mention it for a dash of humorous spice in my article.
Now, pornography has become an industry in its own right, and it's a further display of -- if you may want to call it "de-moralizing crudeness of eroticism, where polygamous thoughts are allowed to surface.
Furthermore, those rich dudes in Middle East find it quite normal to have their harems -- while no one in those societies sees it as "cheating". Yes, love is right there, as he loves all of his wives, who don't feel anything like jealousy or "bitterness of being cheated on".
What is "immoral" about polygamy is absolutely a matter of religious and traditional norms -- it's not something that humans "naturally" have to feel or not.
For another simple example, in some societies people rejoice when their dear ones pass away, as they believe that the soul is now at a "better place". Unlike in our Christian tradition where we are emotionally "programmed" to grieve, oftentimes feeling downright devastated when we lose our dear ones.
So, instinctually, we are primed for polygamous relationships, and the concept of "cheating", along with its emotional consequence, is merely an outcome of our cultural belief system.
Of course, being myself emotionally indoctrinated enough, I am not condoning polygamous "trips" -- just explaining its unconscious instinctual presence in our nature.
Cheating isn't always kissing, touching, or flirting. If you got to delete text messages so your partner won't see them, you're already there.
A Humorous Anecdote for a Cheerful Ending
The whole theme of cheating, as being something "natural" in us, even if only on our unconscious levels, may not really be a welcome story -- so let's spice it up with a little humor.
Allegedly, one of the American Presidents and his First Lady were visiting a farm; and at one point they couldn't but face an obviously horny rooster going and going on top of a hen -- when the First Lady whispered into the ear of a Secret Service: "Please, go, tell my husband to pay attention how good this rooster is at what it is doing."
The agent smilingly obeyed, and discretely whispered the Lady's message to the President, upon which the dude, inspired to play along, used the agent's ear for this message to his darling wife: "Please tell her to remind herself how this rooster is so good only because it is doing it every time with another hen."
Well, that would be it for this article; and if you care, you may also see another of my articles on the similar theme titled as "How the Tandem of Eroticism and Survivalism Makes Us Unconscious Cheaters" -- Part One.
© 2022 Val Karas