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How Bartenders Can Ruin Your Relationship

Sabrina loves to write about love, life, and everything in-between in a candid yet humorous approach.


It's five o'clock somewhere right? After a long day at the office, stopping at a local bar might be a nice way to finish up the day. Maybe you meet up with friends there or your significant other. Or you might be the type to frequent bars strictly on the weekends so you can really let loose and not worry about having to wake up early the next day. Either way, bars are a normal and regular part of countless people's lives, whether they are single or in a relationship. Many times though, the person behind the bar might have a greater impact on your partner than you might think.

Everyone knows the stereotypes surrounding bartenders. They are considered to be major flirts and willing to do anything for tips. Bartenders can be male or female, but more than likely tend to be female. I personally have nothing against bartenders in general because I know they are just doing their job and trying to make a living the way they know how to support their family. Most of the time they are friendly and will try to make your drink to the best of their ability while still chatting with you and trying to be your friend. It's their job to be sociable and sometimes they even take on the role of therapist and listen to your problems when you've had an especially hard day. Bartenders know many people drink to forget their troubles and sometimes need someone to just listen. Most of the time, bartenders are harmless and are some of the nicest people you will ever meet. Other times, that is not the case.

You need to have a certain type of personality to even become a bartender in the first place. Not everyone can do it I will admit that. I certainly couldn't. They need to be able to be chill and to get along with everyone because you never know what kind of person will enter the bar. Then there's the issue of how many people change when they start drinking. Some are the happy drinkers who just become more friendly, but it's the angry drunks you really have to watch out for. The types who will start bar fights when they've had a few too many. Bartenders have a lot to handle when it comes to dealing with so many different personalities while still trying to make a living. Most of them can handle such pressure and still remain a decent person. Others like to use their charms to make more tips and maybe meet a partner, whether they are already taken or not.


There is a fine line between being friendly and flirting and bartenders tend to cross that line very often. As a female, I've lost count of how many times a female bartender has completely ignored me while talking non stop to my boyfriend like I'm not even there in the first place. This happens a lot with female bartenders; they give all their attention to the male while entirely ignoring the girlfriend like she's not a paying customer as well. This same female bartender will try to be your best friend the next time you show up at the bar alone or with a group of females. Double standard anyone? This is where the "slutty" bartender stereotype comes in. The one where they wear revealing low cut shirts to get more tips or extra short dresses/skirts to show off their "assets"... for your husband or boyfriend of course.


Then there's the female bartenders who will see you come in the bar with a man knowing full well you are together. You two get a table in the back and he heads up to the bar to get you a couple of drinks. While blatantly looking at you, they will proceed to have a twenty minute conversation with your boyfriend, laughing loudly and flipping her hair over her shoulder while you sit alone wondering if this night could get any worse. We've all had it happen and it doesn't feel the greatest. I guess the bartender didn't take into consideration that maybe you're the one paying for the drinks tonight and their tip will definitely be impacted because of how they treated you. What a plot twist.

Sometimes when you see a bartender flirting with your boyfriend or husband, you wonder if he is flirting back or not. Is it just in your head or is he actually the one trying to prolong the conversation instead of getting back to you with the drinks? It probably isn't all in your head and there is some flirting going on. No matter how loyal and honest you may think your boyfriend is, he might start flirting with the bartenders when he gets a few drinks in his system. This doesn't mean he's a bad guy or he's going to cheat on you. This just means he becomes a flirtatious drunk and knowing this information you have to decide whether it's even worth going to a bar with him if he's going to openly flirt with bartenders in front of you. Your only other option is to stay by his side the whole night and babysit. Not so much fun when you think about it right? Another solution might be to find a bar where someone you know bartends so there's no issues with overly frisky bartenders and you can just relax and have a good time.

Male bartenders are not completely innocent either. They will flirt with female customers just as much as female bartenders do. The difference with male bartenders that I've noticed is if they see you come in with a guy, they will usually back off and just be equally friendly with both of you without causing any issues in your relationship. It's like a bro code that male bartenders follow that female bartenders didn't seem to get the memo on. Sure, there's the occasional flirty male bartender who just won't get a clue and back off, but for the most part male bartenders seem to have their flirting under control with people who are already with someone else.

Bars can be a fun environment if you're surrounded by the right people and don't have to worry about lingering bartenders. When the circumstances are right, it's a good place to visit once in a while to relax and party with friends. The moment it becomes more stressful than it is fun is when it's time to consider hanging out someplace else. Sometimes, it's just a matter of finding the right bar that fits your needs and doesn't add any unnecessary worry to your life. Other times it might be a better idea just to have a few drinks at your home or a friend's house. You don't have to panic about driving drunk and there's no one trying to flirt with your husband. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you have a good time doing it. With everything the world has gone through lately, we have more important things to think about than the promiscuous bartender at the local dive bar.

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Bartender by T-Pain ft. Akon

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2020 GreenEyes1607


dashingscorpio from Chicago on May 29, 2020:

Interesting topic!

"No matter how loyal and honest you may think your boyfriend is, he might start flirting with the bartenders when he gets a few drinks in his system. This doesn't mean he's a bad guy or he's going to cheat on you." - Very true!

Most female bartenders believe (men) tip bigger than women! They also know men are not use to having women flirt or hit on them and therefore they are likely to welcome the attention.

I suspect one of the reasons why some men watch porn and go to strip clubs is because in those venues (women) actually come onto men! Odds are they don't get that kind of treatment at home.

In the real world unless a guy is a rock star, pro athlete, famous celebrity, extremely good looking, or rich women will not hit on them. Deep down every guy wants to feel desired.

Women customers on the other hand are use to having men hit on them all the time and oftentimes they'll give male bartenders a stern look or indicate in some other manner they're not interested.

Rarely do men ever give (women) the "cold shoulder" for flirting or chatting with them unless they find them super unattractive!

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