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Having Your Spouse in Your Corner Will Help You to Accomplish Anything

Jason and his Bride Mai have been married for almost 8 years. They enjoy laughing together at everything in life.

I’ll always be in my Bride’s corner, 100%.

I’ll always be in my Bride’s corner, 100%.

I remember early on in our relationship that my Bride would work on art pieces during her downtime. Pastel colored pencils were and still are her medium of choice. I noticed right away how talented she was. Like REALLY good. She was appreciative of the compliments but tended to be very humble about her artwork and how good it was.

Over time, I saw her create more and more pieces. It was her favorite way to spend her free time, her favorite relaxation activity. Shortly after I had seen her working on a few pieces, I asked her how long she’d been doing art like that.

“Well, I actually just started doing it again.” was her reply. She told me how she had done art since she was a kid, and wanted to go to art school for college. Her father didn’t think that was a good idea. He didn’t feel she’d be able to earn a living with an art degree. Her parents discouraged her enough about it that she didn’t pursue that art degree.

Steampunk Grasshopper. One of her more recent art pieces. She’s so very talented.

Steampunk Grasshopper. One of her more recent art pieces. She’s so very talented.

She graduated college with a Bachelor of Arts in Administration of Justice. She became a social worker and didn’t really continue on with her art. She married at a pretty young age, and her first husband didn’t encourage her about her art. He was pretty immature and likely insecure, so encouraging her in anything was rare.

After a divorce and a few years passed, she remarried. Second Husband was more of the same. He didn’t encourage her to engage in her art. He also thought it was a bad idea for her to pursue her master’s degree in social work. He told her she’d never make enough money in that field to justify the cost of schooling. So she did it anyway, without his support.


When both parents work, and Mom goes to school, Dad should have more to contribute than just, “So What’s for dinner?”

When both parents work, and Mom goes to school, Dad should have more to contribute than just, “So What’s for dinner?”

He cared more about having dinner on the table each night and who would help with the two young children they had. With a job, master’s degree work, two small children, and evidently dinner to make every night, it didn’t leave much time for downtime and especially, her artwork.

So when we met at the end of 2011, we both were newly single and not looking to jump into another relationship again. The universe had other ideas though and we bonded quickly over laughter, my cooking, and our three grade-school-aged children. In fact, we never spent another night apart after our first dinner together with the kids, the night after our first date.

Around this time is when I noticed she’d work on her artwork with most of the free time she had. This was when I had asked about how long she’d been doing it. She told me that she’d never been so comfortable around another person she’d dated or been in a relationship with and that my compliments and encouragement regarding her art inspired her to make even more of it.

The art piece she made as a wedding gift to me. I call him “Rocky”. And she’s my Adrian.

The art piece she made as a wedding gift to me. I call him “Rocky”. And she’s my Adrian.

I was somewhat taken aback by that. It would never have occurred to me to NOT compliment her on her art. I was raised to have good manners. And this was a beautiful woman I was quickly falling in love with. And seriously, her art was INCREDIBLE. I didn’t understand how nobody else had complimented her about her art and encouraged her to enjoy this thing she was so good at.

My support for my Bride wasn’t limited to just her art. She had been a social worker and counselor for about 10 years when we met. She worked for a company where she was overworked and under-appreciated. When things got unbearable with them and it was time to leave, she decided to help me sell real estate.

She took the classes, got licensed and we spent a year working together, selling homes. I encouraged that, and it was fun to hang out with my favorite person every day for most of the year. But I could tell that the real estate business just wasn’t in her heart. She missed helping people with their mental health.

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We kicked around ideas about her return to counseling. She surely didn’t want to work for another agency where her efforts weren’t appreciated. Where she was micro-managed. Where the men in the company were favored and treated far better than the women doing the same or better work.


 She’s always encouraged clients to find the best therapist for THEM. Even if it’s not her. I admire that.

She’s always encouraged clients to find the best therapist for THEM. Even if it’s not her. I admire that.

She had options. She was well-respected in the counseling and social work communities. She likely could have had her pick of a number of jobs here in town. But then we floated the idea around of opening her own practice.

I was fully supportive of that option, and let her know that. I believed in her. I knew how well she’d do because she’s amazing as a counselor. I call her “The Teen Whisperer” because of how well she works with young people. Many, many times, kids and adults both have told her how she was the first counselor that actually LISTENED and offered true help when other counselors didn’t. I knew she could do this and be a success at it.

Money was tight and finding a decent, small office in a good location for an affordable rate was likely going to be tough. There was also the issue of having exactly ZERO clients to start. She confided in me her worries and concerns about these issues and a handful of others. But I told her how confident I was that she could overcome these things. And that I believed in her.

She found the small affordable office. She signed up on numerous psychology websites and with various insurance companies as a mental health care provider. Before we knew it, she had her first client. Then a couple more. Once she had five clients in a shorter amount of time, we knew this was going to work. She was so happy, and I was so happy for her and proud of her.

The first year was a success, with a close to full caseload and many clients that were receiving the mental health care they needed so desperately. My Bride was happy, feeling fulfilled in her work, and cranking out more art pieces than ever because she was content and had constant encouragement from her husband and family.

Her nice bigger office. Ying-Yang mural was done by HER.

Her nice bigger office. Ying-Yang mural was done by HER.

She eventually upgraded to the biggest office in the building, a few years later. She’s been selling her art more often and for higher prices than she’s ever received in the past. Her dream is to be able to staff her counseling practice, train the therapists, manage her practice, and pursue her art full-time. And guess what? I encourage that dream of hers, as well.

And it goes both ways, in our marriage and relationship. She’s the first one who supported my new venture as a professional, paid writer. She’s the most excited person of anyone when I tell her about some new milestone I’ve hit with my content writing. Or a new record number of blog views I’ve received. And I love it. Her support makes it that much more enjoyable and fuels my fire to take this writing career to new levels.

To summarize: Support the people you love and care about. Don’t be a dream stealer. Don’t criticize something that you don’t understand or doubt that somebody can make a living doing. Even things they do just for enjoyment. Nobody likes a “Yeah, but…” person. Be the support in someone’s life. It can make all the difference in their world.

This song makes me tear up every time I hear it. Because I know she believes in me, like I do, her.

This song makes me tear up every time I hear it. Because I know she believes in me, like I do, her.

“And she believes in me
I’ll never know just what she sees in me
I told her someday if she was my girl
I could change the world
With my little songs, I was wrong

But she has faith in me
And so I go on trying faithfully
And who knows maybe on some special night
If my song is right
I will find a way
Find a way

While she lays waiting”

Kenny Rogers, She Believes in Me.

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