Updated date:

Has the Me Too Movement Gone Too Far?

Jennifer has a B.A. in Communications. She is an expert with self- help. She studied two years of marriage and family therapy.

Women's March

Women's March

Looking back

Do you remember when you were a child and it was your birthday and you would have the whole class to your birthday party? Both girls and boys? Remember when you had playdates with other kids in the class and it didn't matter with gender it was? Your parents and teachers taught you to be nice to everyone in school and treat everyone as you want to be treated? Do you feel that that statement went out the window as time went on?

Women's Liberation

The Women's Liberation movement started in 1960 where women demanded equal pay and equal freedom. Betty Friedman led the women's march on August 26, 1970 in Queens. The Women's March demanded equal rights such as; free childcare, equal opportunities in education and employment.

What Happened Years Later?

Years later there were still families and marriages but not as much as before. Women now were now concentrating on going to college, pursuing an education getting a good job rather than just being a housewife. Some women chose not to be married at all.

The Me Too Movement

The Me Too Movement first started in 2006 by Tarana Burke. She wanted to raise awareness to sexual abuse that goes in the world. I think that it is amazing that she did that. Before that, there were cases that were swept under the rug and many women were scared to come forward. Now women are not scared anymore.

However there is a flip side to the coin. My question is this. The Me too movement was to make us aware of sexual abuse. Have we as society let it get out of hand?

What I mean by that is what about the cases where a man is innocent and a women claims it was sexual abuse?

What is and isn't Sexual Abuse

Like I said I think it is great that we have to Me too movement, I do feel however that there are some women that are abusing it more than others. For instance it was created to make our society aware of sexual awareness but that does not mean that if we are dating we have to stop having sex altogether. There is a thin line between being flirtatious and having fun and molestation. Molestation and rape is forcing any unwanted advances on another person.

What I mean is this I hear women all the time bashing on men over the last two years and hating them and I think it is horrible. For instance you go to a bar and the guy says "Could I come over?" Those who believe in the moment will get mad at the man and jump to worst case scenario. That's what happenes at bars. People hook up with people all the time. If you are not into random hook ups then stay home. Besides you have the power to just walk away. You don't have to create a scene and start getting bent over shape. Yes, it was out of line but that stuff happens. The only thing you can do when that happens is get up and move on.

Now if you say no and he keeps touching you that is considered sexual abuse and you have the right to press charges. But someone just asking you a question. You could just roll it over your shoulder and laugh about it or walk away.

Say this guy wined you and dined you and you were head over heels for him. You told him you loved him. You finally gave in and slept with him. He moved five hours away and now is not even answering your phone call. You regret sleeping with him because sex is a big deal to you and you can't handle all the emotions (one reason why I don't recommend friends with benefits). Then you really can't say he sexually abused you. You knew what you were getting yourself into. You loved the attention. You loved the gifts he was giving you and the money. He was a player and you fell for it. You could have been more aware and said no or waited until you were in a relationship to have sex with him. Yes he did have an agenda but what signal did you give? How were you dressed? If you want to be respected and have a long term relationship than you have to give those signals and you can't dress wearing short skirts, low tops, be dancing on bars etc. or you will only be attracting men who will want to use you and abuse you.

Now if you meet a guy and he asked you to have sex and you said no and he keeps pushing boundaries than that is sexual abuse. You do not have to give into him if you do not want to him. You can block him on social media. You can make a restraining order against him. Once you get him out of your life it will be easier.

It is also wrong to wrongfully accuse someone. Just like Men who are found guilty they are also found innocent wrongfully accused and it is illegal to those who do so.

That is why it is important to know your facts. I agree with both parties. If someone is found guilty then they deserve to be punished. It does not matter what gender you are. If you are a man then you need to understand that "No means No." If you are a women then you should come forward and report when something happens. You also can do things to prevent it at times. Don't wear clothing to attract the wrong attention, have strength in numbers, be careful who you surround yourself with, don't leave a bar with a guy you just met. Don't accuse someone though if they were just being flirtatious or because you regret something because then that crosses the line as wrongfully accused and that can be illegal. So know your facts and know your boundaries for both parties.

Let's Come Together as a Community

I am not saying these things do not happen they do and when they do we need strength in numbers. I have noticed though that there are women who hate men in general after one bad relationship such as cheating and ghosting and that is wrong too.

I see that women who believe in feminism took it to a whole other level. It has got way out of control and divided out as society. It was not intended for men to hate women and women to hate men but the comments I have been observing I feel is so sad.

We should not be competing with each other. There are women out there who are just as bad. They gossip about each other and criticize each other and tear each other down. Don't think just because someone is a gender that they are better than one another. There is good and bad in everyone.

We are all put on this earth to love and support and accept with one another. If you have a friend or husband or wife who makes more than you be happy. Don't say "I am a women, I am a man. I believe in the liberation movement." Believe in being a good person and what God wants you to do. Love each other and be happy for one another.

I have seen over the last two years not only have families been divided but respect has been lost and it is horrific. We should be only treat people the way we expect and desired to be treated in return.

We shouldn't be manipulating people. If your friend gets engaged say "congrats," don't say "there is no one good," just because you are single.

Going through something like this is very traumatic for someone. That is why when people meet it is important that boundaries are established there is communication, empathy and honesty. When there are issues of control things get out of hand. No one deserves to be with someone controlling or who can put them in danger.

Remember good things happen to good people and right now with what we are going through, we need to come together and be more loving and kind towards one another. The last thing we need to do is be divided as a society.

has-the-me-too-movement-gone-too-far
has-the-me-too-movement-gone-too-far

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2020 Jennifer Panaro

Comments

Sabina on May 11, 2020:

I respectfully disagree. The me too movement has not gone too far.

Jennifer Panaro (author) from Eastchester on April 02, 2020:

Thank everyone for their feedback. Yes Dashingscoprio I agree it is sad that the times we are living in are sad that we can't even say "Hello," to anyone anymore without a women getting offended.

dashingscorpio from Chicago on April 01, 2020:

You've made some valid points.

Oftentimes well intended "movements" get hijacked by extreme radicals whose real agenda was always to turn things upside down. More often than not these were the "outsiders" in life.

The #MeToo movement has practically done away with "due process". The mere accusation of inappropriate behavior by a man towards a woman is to be AUTOMATCIALLY assumed to be true! He said-She said has been replaced with She-said.

Secondly we have done away with the idea of two teenagers with ranging hormones awkwardly going to "first, second, and third" base in the backseat of a car as sexual exploratory teenage innocence.

Ten or more years later that teenage boy might be accused of committing a sexual assault! If you're a guy who has ever been rejected by a woman odds are you could be accused of assault!

In fact the art of flirting/using sly sexual innuendo is harassment!

This is especially true of "pickup lines" meant to be icebreakers.

One never knows where another person's sense of humor lies.

Therefore you have a lot of guys inviting girls to "hang out" as opposed to going out on a date. Spontaneous kissing is a no-no.

You had better get written permission before touching anyone.

Even with that you must prove there was no coercion involved.

Andrea Dworkin, a "radical feminist" is attributed with stating "all sex is rape." She would later claim she was being misunderstood.

Clearly there some people who want a "gender war" of some kind.

#MeToo and #TimesUp started out as worthwhile ventures and morphed into the belief that (women) are incapable of lying.

And in some instances the only difference between sexual harassment and flirting is whether or not the woman is attracted to the man. It's not defined by words or actions but rather {who} did it. Enforcing arbitrary laws based upon an individual's feeling about someone will challenging in the long run.

Not long ago there was a woman in a HP discussion forum who claimed any man who spoke to her without knowing her was being rude even if he was just saying "hello".

According to her: "Just because a man thinks a woman is attractive doesn't give him the right to approach her." She wanted to be left alone and had no desire to be spoken to or complimented. Essentially she felt FORCED into speaking back and hated it. These are sad times we're living in when someone smiling and saying "hello" is considered harassment by anyone.

Kyler J Falk from California on April 01, 2020:

The #MeToo movement became useless the second it became a tool of performative cruelty. Once you leave justice in the hands of the public, rather than a few whose job it is to be unbiased, the truth becomes whatever the trendy mentality of the day is. The real truth gets buried, and people think they can use these tools for personal gain rather than justice.

A wonderful article exploring the topic.

Related Articles