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Has My Partner Cheated on Me? Secret Signs to Watch out For

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We all expect our partners to be faithful. But sometimes affairs do happen. But how can we find out the truth?

Check Out Those Cheats!

Has my partner cheated on me signs to look for

Has my partner cheated on me signs to look for

The Obvious And Not So Obvious Secrets Of Cheating

We all know someone who has been cheated on. Whether it's a friend or even a family member. But how can you tell when your partner has cheated on you? There are various ways of finding out. Some of the signs are blatantly obvious. Your husband or boyfriend comes home smelling of perfume. That is such a cliche' but you know what they say about cliche's. They are true.

But most of the time it is more subtle than that. In this article, I will base the cheating on the husband or boyfriend. But of course, it can be the girlfriend or wife who is doing it. To notice if your husband is having an affair, there are a few things that you need to do. And some of them are not that obvious.

is he secretly cheating?

is he secretly cheating?

Using Your Intuition.

This may sound obvious. But the majority of women get that feeling when they suspect their husband of cheating. It can be a tingle down their back, or a horrible gut wrenching feeling in the stomach. So what starts it off?

It can be something as subtle as your husband or boyfriend being late home from work. Now I know that there are many other explanations why he would be late, but hear me out. You know he is working from 9 to 5, and he has never phoned to say he will be late before.

So when he gets home you start to get suspicious. This is the time that you need to step back and not wade in with all guns blazing.

For a start, he may well be working late and won't be very happy with you accusing him of infidelity just because he had to finish the work on his desk. But this is a good starting point for you to get your intuition into gear.

Is he acting differently? Not something as obvious as buying you a bunch of flowers, but something more subtle. Obviously, you won't be that suspicious if it's just a one-off late night work, but if it happens more frequently then you are within your rights to start snooping around. So, he comes in from work and decides to go outside and cut the grass. Is this normal? No? This is a sign that he is up to something.

A good idea is to write down his weird behaviour. You know him like a book. Any deviation from the norm is a good sign that your husband is cheating on you. Most men and women who cheat are very clever at covering their tracks.

They are not going to come indoors smelling of perfume or aftershave, and offer you a gift. They have seen the films, watched their friends get it wrong and have worked out their own plan of action.

These days the signs of cheating are much more subtle. So beware.

Hiding And Grooming Are Big Signs They Are Cheating!

how to know when your partner is cheating

how to know when your partner is cheating

Its the little signs that tell your partner is cheating on you and having an affair

Its the little signs that tell your partner is cheating on you and having an affair

The Most Obvious Signs Of Cheating

First, we will cover the obvious signs of cheating. Well, they are obvious to us, but not everybody has gone through this before, so bear with me.

Get your Sherlock Holmes gear on if you see him:

  1. Showering more often.
  2. Sneaky phone calls in the dead of night.
  3. Getting his friends to phone you to say his phone has died the death.
  4. Particular attention to hygiene. Cleaning his fingernails for example.
  5. Suddenly starting to take you out more often. It's called a guilty conscience!
  6. Attending to your every need. Well at least making you a coffee, getting your slippers or taking the dog for a walk without moaning.

These are just a few signs that your husband is having an affair. But us women are not stupid. Oh no. One of the most common ways that a woman knows her husband is playing away, is if the wife and girlfriend happen to be at the same party. Work do's are the best way to check out your competition. Notice which woman tries to keep her distance from your partner.

Does he look in her direction more than others? A good idea is to get him to hand out a few drinks. Notice the way that the woman takes it. Does she ask for a particular beverage or does he drop his guard and automatically hand her the right drink? If you see this, then you can bet your bottom dollar that this is the woman who is trying to take your husband. Just remember, that woman will not just be after an affair, she will want more in the long run. What you do is up to you then, but remember to try to retain your dignity. Punch ups are not a good idea at a works lunch!

Check Those Cupboards For Hiding Places

Is your partner hiding signs of cheating on you?

Is your partner hiding signs of cheating on you?

Secret signs your partner is cheating on you

Secret signs your partner is cheating on you

Infidelity

Women Cheat Too!

The Secret Signs Of Cheating.

This is aimed at the long term relationship. The reason being that when you have lived with someone for many years you will get to know them better. Obvious? Yes.

And that is where the trouble lies. Why? You ask. Think about it for a moment. You know your partner so well. Everything that they do is written on your mind. Just like a book. You know the cover, the insides and every chapter. Not.

Yes, when you first met you asked each other questions, got to know their families, work, hobbies and just about everything else. Each new thing was an experience. You mentally wrote it down, stored it away and kept it as a photo album in your head.

Each chapter was there for all to see. But then you got complacent. You don't need to read all of the book again. You know exactly what he is like. The front cover is there, so that's okay.

But you are not always together. As the years go by you start to branch out on your own, and so does he. But you know him, so that's fine. Wrong.

Each chapter starts to have holes in it. Every year you are together may leave great gaps in the paragraph of your lives. This is when he can fill those gaps with infidelity. He knows you think of him in a certain way. And he plays on it.

So what's the secret?

You don't have to wait for the sign that he may be having an affair. Sound stupid? Hear me out. You have got complacent. You have been married or living with someone for a long time, in fact, it may not even be that long. But you know him. Or think you do.

Do a healthy relationship check.

Stand back and look around you. At the house, the garage, the way you live and everything that makes you, well, you. Just because he or she hasn't done anything suspicious doesn't mean that they haven't been getting away with it for ages. Maybe even months or years.

You have to remember that the way you see your relationship and its complacency doesn't mean they see it the same way. The best way of cheating is to incorporate it into their everyday life. Soon it becomes so familiar to them it ends up being part of their lives.

So, wait until they go out. Preferably for at least a few hours. Then stand back and look at the house. There are so many cupboards, wardrobe's, under the stairs and other secret places that you just do not look in. Why?

Because you know what's in there. Or do you? When you moved in you placed your stuff around the house, shoved old books, papers and just about everything else in those spaces. Then you forgot about them. You know its only got your old stuff in there. So why look?

Just remember, your partner sees things differently. He or she gets to know that you ignore those small cubby holes. So he takes advantage of them. The problem is, psychologically you believe that you think the same way as he does. Wrong.

See your house with different eyes. Go check on these old secret hidey holes. Look in the back of the cupboards. If you are going to discover something then these are the places that will be hiding your partner's secrets. Trust me, I know.

Go through his jackets in the wardrobes. Check all the pockets. If there is any restaurant tickets that you know nothing about you will know he is playing away, having an affair, call it what you will. Did you find a Jewelry Bill? Not yours? There you go. People are very crafty when they are having an affair.

They will use all the little tricks to keep you in the dark. But the funny thing is that they can get lazy. They may use those cupboards, but after a while, they will just throw the secret tickets or presents in there. You're not going to look, are you?

The one thing I would like to add is, please do not get paranoid! Just because he or she has taken up a new hobby, joined the gym or decided at the grand old age of 40+ they are learning to paraglide, don't presume its an affair. It could just be a midlife crisis! No, seriously, we do strange things as we get older.

And of course, we try to stay healthy too. If you do get suspicious of their new health hobby, then ask them if you can go along with them just to see if you want to join, or just watch them for the day. Then stand back and watch their reaction. If you are really clever and can spot signs of dishonesty, then those few seconds will be the one thing that will give him or her away.


So there you have it.

And of course, if they come out squeaky clean, that will mean one of two things. They are totally innocent, or just very clever at hiding their affair.

Just remember to reward them, like you would a pet. If you can prove that they are telling the truth of course. Buy them a little something. But be careful. They may just start checking up on you!

You want the Truth? Its staring you in the Face!

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2012 Nell Rose

Comments

Nell Rose (author) from England on February 01, 2018:

Thanks for your opinion bby pretty! lol!

bby pretty on February 01, 2018:

There are some of the reason's why boys and girls cheated, and i am not shy of telling it. It's either the girl wants sex but the boy is not like that, and that is one of the reason. Other than that girls would like rich boys but she is marrying a poor guy than they want it to cheated just because of money, but they don't even know what's in the front might her husband own a big building but there's no meaning of coming back.

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 11, 2015:

Hi asmith, thank you so much for your invitation, Unfortunately I live in England so there isn't anyway that I can get there, which is a real shame as I would love to have been part of the show, but thank you anyway, Nell Rose

asmith176 on May 11, 2015:

I work for The Studio (production company for networks like Discovery Channel, TLC, ID) and we are working on a new TV series helping women who have been conned by someone they love. We have three really great private investigators offering their services for free on the project. If this is something you might be interested in, please send me an email at dana_lillie at discovery dot com. Thanks!

Nell Rose (author) from England on March 05, 2015:

Hi WomanWonder, what is it with men? they are so obvious sometimes! sorry to hear that you have been cheated on, good for you for ditching him, I am sure a real guy will be along pretty soon for you, take care, and thanks for reading, nell

WomanWonder on March 03, 2015:

So true! When I found out my ex was cheating, I thought back on a million red flags that I had brushed off trying not to look like a psycho. Maybe this will help someone:

He hated Mt Dew. Only drank Coke. I kept noticing Mt Dew cans here & there in places that his roommate would never be- his car ( he would say a friend rode with him) or in his bathroom.

He was a total slob & after washing his sheets just 3 days before, he was washing them again.

A condom in the trashcan. I thought well it's been a while, but surely that is too obvious.

He would retell me stories, whicb was out of character for him.

Nell Rose (author) from England on February 08, 2015:

Thanks Carrie, glad you liked it, nell

Carrie Lee Night from Northeast United States on February 08, 2015:

Good througho hub :) Voted up and useful.

Nell Rose (author) from England on November 29, 2014:

Hi Shirley, sorry to hear that, and that is the trouble sometimes, if we have low confidence its easy to blame ourselves. She needs to get away from him and stay on her own for at least a year, so that she can find the real 'her' if you like. I am sure one of these days she will realise, maybe she needs to see him in action with a girl in a pub or restaurant maybe, face to face, that way it will be real to her, then she will get rid of him, I hope it works out, and thanks for reading, nell

Nell Rose (author) from England on November 29, 2014:

Hi Anonymous, lol! thanks for reading, nell

ShirleyJCJohnson on November 29, 2014:

I wish my daughter could read this hub article. The first thing you talked about is going with your gut instinct. She has had this gut instinct, and several disturbing phone calls with her boyfriend. She knows what's there and that he's cheating but she has so little self worth that she thinks it's her fault and keeps forgiving him.

Anonymous on November 29, 2014:

Well some people will still continue cheating after you found out their affair, no shame at all! Oops even some mistress acting so tough cos your husband/partner is on their side lol, shameless people.

Nell Rose (author) from England on October 12, 2014:

lol! thanks lilly, glad to help! haha! stay on your own, that way you won't want to kick that darn man out! thanks for reading, nell

Lori J Latimer from Central Oregon on October 12, 2014:

Wow! Great article Nell! I am getting PTS just reading through all of these "signs and wonders" of relationships. Being a long time single can seem a bit lonely, but I am not crying my broken heart out, nor considering felonious behavior. The only person I have to worry about respecting and loving me, is myself. Thank you for this timely article, because recently I have been getting weak with wanting companionship. Er, no thanks. I will stick with my Bird.

Nell Rose (author) from England on July 10, 2014:

Hi SoMany, First of all I am so sorry you are going through this. I will try to answer this without getting emotional about him, even though just reading this makes me want to yell at him. But first of all I believe I can answer your question about why her? The trouble with human emotions is that the hang on, even though its many years ago this happened between them, it still reminds him of back then. There is nothing easier than having an affair with someone you are so familiar with like he is with her. All men lets face it, and even some women, at some stage in their marriage get the urge to stray. Most of them don't do it. For two reasons. One they find it hard to start a new relationship because they can't remember or get to embarrassed to try, and secondly they keep it as a secret fantasy, some even going on line to get their kicks but without meeting the woman or ever getting involved with sex.

other guys who cheat tend to do it right from the word go, as its easy for them.

This case is really different, he knows her, there are no barriers to breach here, its straight in and back to their old ways. Now, saying that, its your turn. not for an affair, but for you to stand up to this insensitive man, and make a stand.

You love him, I know that, and there is a lot of history between you. He knows that your love will chain you too him, so in a sense he can get away with murder so to speak.

But you have to realise that love has to get out of the darn way for a moment, so that you can think straight. To do this, imagine you only met him a while ago. really put that thought behind it.

Then think to yourself, would I put up with this bull if he was a new guy in your life? No, you would not.

You have to sit him down, and really let him know you are serious. Say to him, right, you either break ties completely with her, or you are out. No arguing, no begging and no bullsh..t! You don't want to hear, 'she is only a friend, its only a joke and so on' tell him in no uncertain terms that you are not stupid, and stop treating me like an idiot'.

Then put your foot down. Really mean it. What ever you do don't go back on your word. If you really mean it, he will know. And one more mistake and you throw out his clothes, his stuff and shut the darn door! or maybe move in with a relative.

Lets face it, if you really want to prove your point then stand in the middle of the road and yell to her, hey b....tch come and get him! Then throw his stuff at her! why should you not tell the whole world? that way he will be as humiliated as you.

Please come back and let me know what you have done, okay?

And good luck.

Nell Rose (author) from England on June 25, 2014:

Thanks ps, sorry to hear that, yes sometimes we can't see what's going on and sadly this does happen a lot, hope your having a great day, nell

Nell Rose (author) from England on June 25, 2014:

Thanks so much for the share, have a wonderful day!

Patricia Scott from North Central Florida on June 25, 2014:

Well done....and so true.Sadly I was not in a position to do these things..he was thousands of miles from me ...long story...he wrote every day...and we talked on the phone as often a young married couple could afford. I wish that I had had 'eyes' there to tell me.

but I did find out once we were reunited and I ended it.

So many times I have heard over the years ....o you should have stayed blah blah blah..stayed for what ...to wonder who he was with yet another time? If he did it to me, it would do it to the next one. and the did to her and to another and another....

thanks for the heads up to those who may not Want to know what to look for voted up and shared Nell

Angels are on the way to you ps

Nell Rose (author) from England on June 23, 2014:

Hiya habee, yep still here! lol! yes we women know, in fact I yelled at my old man before I knew anything! Just got that gut feeling, and went for him! lol!

Holle Abee from Georgia on June 23, 2014:

I think oftentimes that women "just know." I did with my ex!

Nice to see you still hang out here.

Nell Rose (author) from England on June 04, 2014:

Hi moonlake, its so darn difficult isn't it when we know what they are up too? I tried telling my friend many years ago, and it broke us up for quite a while, she never did apologise for her attitude, and I learned something, never open my mouth again! lol! thanks for reading, nell

moonlake from America on June 03, 2014:

I once babysit for a couple and I knew he was running around I think before she did. He was late picking up baby, dressed up when he never was and that awful cologne he was wearing. My mother said tell her I told her no way. I wasn’t positive of anything and I’m not getting involved in their business and maybe ruining a marriage if I were wrong. You always lose your friends if you’re the one to tell. She did find out he was running around. Ended their marriage. Voted up on your hub.

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 07, 2014:

Hi Levertis, lol! yep forgot about that! but thats the sort of thing a guy would do if he wasn't being careful, the crafty guy will do all the things I said, if he's a long term cheater, thanks again, nell

Levertis Steele from Southern Clime on May 06, 2014:

Just a few more, Nell:

He comes home with his shirt buttons misaligned with the holes. :) He may also come home wearing lipstick that is not yours. Oh yes, he comes home wearing a new change of underwear that he did not have on when he left for work. By the way, the underwear had red hot peppers on them. Worse still, he called you "Susan" when you two were having a private moment. Just one more. He says, "Remember that fancy hotel in Moreno where we spent the whole day on your birthday last year?" You say, "Moreno? What hotel?" Oops again!

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 06, 2014:

Thanks Michelle, glad you liked it, and have a great evening, nell

Michelle Liew from Singapore on May 06, 2014:

All the things we really should attune ourselves to, but forget!! Sharing. T

Nell Rose (author) from England on April 10, 2014:

Hi Sherry, lol! sorry for being such a suspicious person! they should have called me Sherlock! thanks so much for reading, nell

Sherry Hewins from Sierra Foothills, CA on April 09, 2014:

Wow, you seem to have really hit a nerve with this one. I lot of these I never would have thought of, I guess I'm not very suspicious.

popu on March 22, 2014:

I caught my girlfriend cheating with tracking software for phones. http://phonespyder.com

Nell Rose (author) from England on March 17, 2014:

lol! Thanks for reading Peggy! yes I think our pets are much more faithful than our partners sometimes! the only way to keep them faithful is to reward them! lol! glad you liked it, and thanks for reading, nell

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on March 17, 2014:

I had to laugh at your ending: "Just remember to reward them, like you would a pet." Funny! We treat our pets well.

Inga from New York on March 16, 2014:

Thanks.:)

Nell Rose (author) from England on March 10, 2014:

Thanks Lillyeth, yes thats so true. Should have added those! lol! thanks for reading, and keep an eye out for those signs! lol!

Suzanne Sheffield from Mid-Atlantic on March 09, 2014:

Oh Nell, Nell, Nell, you never cease to make me smile. I can add a couple things to your list because I have a Scorpio Moon and am a suspicious person. Here are a couple things: *he puts his clothes in the washer as soon as he comes home *he says he doesn't clock out for lunch but his paystub shows differently *he take up a new hobby or becomes interested in a new subject about which he never talks to you

Nell Rose (author) from England on February 27, 2014:

lol! thanks Victoria, I am sure you won't ever have to do these, but thanks so much for reading, nell

Victoria Lynn from Arkansas, USA on February 27, 2014:

This one caught my eye. Great tips that I hope I never have to use. :-)

Nell Rose (author) from England on February 18, 2014:

LOL! sorry grand old lady, that was my mistake! I was probably tired, and just not thinking! I usually say hubby or something like that, sorry for the misunderstanding, and thanks so much again for coming back, nell

Mona Sabalones Gonzalez from Philippines on February 18, 2014:

Hi Nell Rose,

I know you meant cheating of husbands. I used hubbers as a short cut for husband, and didn't realize it could be misunderstood as hub pagers. My bad.

Mona Sabalones Gonzalez from Philippines on February 17, 2014:

Good suggestions. Some hubbers don't even try to hide the signs they are cheating. It's like they want to be caught. Then, adios hubber, it's your loss.

Nell Rose (author) from England on February 17, 2014:

lol! Thanks TurtleDog, yes I am on the case, I know all the tricks! thanks again for reading, nell

TurtleDog on February 17, 2014:

Good stuff... you don't need to be a master sleuth using these tips. Thanks again for another cool post. I never thought about having friends calling about the 'dead' phone. Nice

Nell Rose (author) from England on January 29, 2014:

Hi Tina, I am so sorry to hear that you are in this situation. Isn't there any family or friends that you can go to? If not you could get in touch with an organization that can help you. I noticed from your ip address that this is probably the nearest help center to you. Please get in touch with them, and if you can let me know that you are there, okay, keep safe.

http://catholicdioceseofwichita.org/family-stabili...

Tina true on January 28, 2014:

I am N/a Abusive Relationship We've been together for 5 years I am very nicely I've been a widow for 18 years I don't deserve To have a life like that Are deserved To find a real man That is going to love me And respect me And be faithful to me I don't have No way of getting out of here Sometimes I Want to Commit suicide We are no longer together We are just roommates I have to keep a board at my door I fear for my life I feel like I'm walking on eggshells in my own home please pray for my situation

Nell Rose (author) from England on January 08, 2014:

Thanks cam, yes sometimes the things we don't see are right before our eyes! glad you liked it and thanks for reading, nell

Chris Mills from Traverse City, MI on January 07, 2014:

Hi Nell, This is very practical and solid advice for people in relationships. I'm sure it is hard to take when you discover you are being cheated on, but having our eyes open and a plan at hand is a good start. Thanks for speaking to such a difficult topic.

Nell Rose (author) from England on January 03, 2014:

Thanks grand, glad you found it helpful, and thanks for passing it on, nell

Mona Sabalones Gonzalez from Philippines on January 03, 2014:

I plan to forward this to a friend who is having problems with her marriage. Good info.

Nell Rose (author) from England on December 30, 2013:

Hi acaetnna, long time no see! hope you are well? lol! yes thats it exactly! I learned the hard way with my husband, but it wasn't quite what I thought it was....!

acaetnna from Guildford on December 30, 2013:

OMG I see the signs! So much of what you have written is so true! Men can never appreciate which side their bread is buttered ... until it's too late!!! Most only think below the belt I am afraid!!!!

Nell Rose (author) from England on December 17, 2013:

Thanks Denise, sorry to hear that, men are such a darn pain in the butt sometimes, I hope things get better for you soon, good luck with the move!

Denise Handlon from North Carolina on December 16, 2013:

Ugggghhh! I hate to admit it but this just recently happened to me. I broke it off with the guy and now am looking for a different residence closer to where I work. Thought this stuff was over with in high school! Too bad I'm not that 'innocent little high school girl' who is easily fooled.

Great article. UP/U/I

Nell Rose (author) from England on December 13, 2013:

I have got a degree is snoopiology! Haha! however did you guess? thanks for the laugh LadyF, and great to see you again, nell

Joanna Chandler from On Planet Earth on December 13, 2013:

Nell sometimes you just rather not find out! LOL ......you sound like you got a "degree" in snoopiology and finding out things lol.

Nell Rose (author) from England on December 12, 2013:

LOL! thanks LadyFiddler, yes its called mooching around spying! haha! you never know what you are going to find out! thanks so much for reading, nell.

Joanna Chandler from On Planet Earth on December 12, 2013:

Nell i must say you made me giggle, very good hub but some parts were funny LOL.

Thanks for sharing :)

Nell Rose (author) from England on November 19, 2013:

Hi teaches, yes I know just what you mean, I have a friend who said she just didn't want to hear what her husband did! What? lol! thanks for reading, nell

Dianna Mendez on November 19, 2013:

I know women who have noticed many of the signs you mention and still refuse to believe their partner is cheating. Such a sad world we live in today.

Nell Rose (author) from England on November 13, 2013:

Hi Michael, oh that programme! is it obligatory to make the women have bad teeth, tattoos and a loud mouth? lol! thanks for reading, nell

Micheal from United Kingdom on November 13, 2013:

Sadly, cheating seems to be the new norm now. If the Jeremy Kyle show is anything to go by.

Nell Rose (author) from England on November 13, 2013:

lol! thanks lovedoctor, maybe I should have made it into an ebook, it would have been a best seller! lol!

Nell Rose (author) from England on November 13, 2013:

Hi Jodah, lol! yes women too! trust me women are just better liars! haha! thanks for reading, nell

lovedoctor926 on November 12, 2013:

very very good information Nell. A good manual to keep handy. Some men can be really sneaky.

John Hansen from Gondwana Land on November 12, 2013:

Hi Nell, great hub, and looks like your advice is even helping some people already. Cheating does work both ways, but I imagine more often then not it is the man doing it. Anyway, all your advice makes a lot of sense, in fact more guys should read it for tips on what not to do and ideas on how to get away with it...lol. Just hope my wife doesn't read it....lol....joking. Voted up.

Nell Rose (author) from England on October 22, 2013:

Thanks Sara, glad to help! hope it turns out to be something innocent, nell

Sara on October 22, 2013:

Thank you! I would never have thought of this. My boyfriend has been acting strange for weeks, could be something else but I think he is cheating.

angela on October 20, 2013:

i think my boyfriend is cheating on me because he said he was cheating on me as a joke witch is a big signs well i think my boyfriend only wants to make out when we hang out we don't really spend that much time together but thats just how he and i am but i was kinda planning on breaking up with him sorry what am saying but girl my tip is just fallow your gut instinct and een though you think hes cheating on you i say just trust him ps. im a 13 year old girl 8)

Nell Rose (author) from England on October 06, 2013:

Hi MG, not sure what to say about that, but as long as its the woman who is cheating then fine! lol! thanks!

MG Singh from UAE on October 06, 2013:

Outstanding hub. Cheating is part of marriage. It is something natural as man is a polygamist.

Nell Rose (author) from England on October 01, 2013:

Hi SamitaJassi, that is so true, thanks so much for reading, nell

Samita Sharma from Chandigarh on October 01, 2013:

Its very interesting hub... If men or woman really realized at what cost cheating would be to the both of them physically, emotionally and the pain afterwards they would think again.

Nell Rose (author) from England on September 27, 2013:

Thanks Dream On, yes I know what you mean, the so called serial cheater, never ever trust them. I had friends who got involved with these, and all it lead to was misery. I tried to find your hub Cheaters Beware but couldn't see it?

DREAM ON on September 27, 2013:

I just wanted you to know your hub gave me the inspiration to write Cheaters Beware. Cheaters have a choice. They can change but they usually don't.

Nell Rose (author) from England on September 27, 2013:

Thanks Dream on, I totally agree. If someone cheats its more or less saying that they no longer love you, why draw out the agony? have a great weekend, nell

DREAM ON on September 26, 2013:

My wife long before I met her had to deal with a cheating husband after not seeing the early signs. Accepting his lies and his excuses. Finally she ended her first marriage .After seeing the emotional baggage and nightmares she had to deal with later. I really think if men or woman realized at what cost cheating would be to the both of them physically, emotionally and the pain afterwards they would think again. Great information with a nice twist. I hope those who have been cheated on move on and find the great catch they deserve. One who will put their worries at ease and know a good man or woman loves to please.

Nell Rose (author) from England on September 22, 2013:

Thanks Flourish, I think that's the problem and why people get away with cheating, its either they don't see it at all or don't believe it sadly so that's why when they are told the partner is leaving its such a shock, thanks so much for reading, nell

FlourishAnyway from USA on September 22, 2013:

Nell, you do provide super sleuthing advice for those who think they want to know the answer! Can they handle the truth? Hmmm. So many people are complacent about their relationships, believing their spouse or significant other would never venture out on them. Statistics say otherwise. Nice advice here!

Nell Rose (author) from England on September 17, 2013:

Oh yes Thomas I noticed that! lol! especially if you watch the Jeremy Kyle shows, hate them watch them for ideas...! lol!, the girls sit there screaming at each other while the guy sits there looking bemused! thanks for reading, nell

Thomas Swan from New Zealand on September 17, 2013:

Wow, it seems that the art of deception is more complicated than I thought! Seeing if someone keeps their distance at a party is something I never would have considered, but it makes perfect sense. I'm sure this hub will be a help to many, though I wonder if it might contribute to the paranoia of a few. Thankfully I've never been cheated on (to my knowledge). One thing that always amazes me is how women often lay all the blame on the other woman rather than on their husband. The other woman is blamed for "stealing him away"... almost against his will it seems. I don't know if this is something you or others have noticed, but it allows many men to continually cheat.

Nell Rose (author) from England on August 27, 2013:

Thanks again DDE, yes it certainly is, nell

Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on August 27, 2013:

So true about cheating and the videos just what you mean in your hub. She and him can be cheaters in so many ways, such an awkward way of living

Nell Rose (author) from England on July 20, 2013:

Thanks Man of Strength, glad you liked it, and have a great weekend!

Nell Rose (author) from England on July 20, 2013:

Thanks Cat, sorry you had so much trouble, I can never understand it either, if you love someone stay with them, if you feel the need to cheat that tells me that they no longer love you so move away, why can't guys see that its that simple? thanks, nell

Man of Strength from Orlando, Fl on July 20, 2013:

Hi Nell,

This is spot on. Coming from the male's point of view, I agree with most of the signs that you have so elequently displayed. Awesome hub and voted up!

Cat from New York on July 20, 2013:

Nell,

As much as I dislike this topic (no offense to you, but to cheaters!), this is an excellent hub! I spent 10 years with the same man. My late teens and through much of my twenties and while so many others my age were cheating or being cheated on... I couldn't really relate. I went through that entire relationship without ever being cheated on. Some would ask 'Well, how do you really know for sure'... trust me, I know! After leaving that relationship (which had many of its own problems), the next and last relationship I had, did not take a year, before I was cheated on. I was not equipped to deal with such a thing. When someone does this kind of thing, it does so much damage to the one being cheated on that it's hard not to affect their future thinking. I continued with the relationship for 4 more years, but I resented him and I doubted most of what he said and did. For the remainder of the relationship I had nothing but negative feelings; fear, anger, resentment. It was not good for him or me and the ending of the relationship was even uglier. I'm sure some relationships can make it through infidelity, but it's got to be very hard. Personally, I never think there is a justifiable reason to cheat... though I do understand the reasons why it happens. If one is not happen, he/she should attempt to address the reasons why, primarily through communicating with his/her partner and if still, no change; then leave! Cheating can cause long term damage, even when the relationship is over.

You had so much good advice in this hub and I shared my experience because, as one who's been there, I can say... you were very accurate!

Voted up and others ~ Sharing too!

Cat

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 26, 2013:

Hi Dreamseeker, I am so glad you have got past this horrible ordeal. Yes some people do choose to ignore it when someone is cheating, but at the end of the day it won't change a thing, and then they lose out, thanks so much for reading, nell

dreamseeker2 on May 26, 2013:

Some of us have been through it, that's for sure! The reason behind my marriage demise of only five years. I saw all the signs and even was stupid enough to go out looking for him. I was pregnate with my youngest son when I caught mine...no hints had to be dropped, no second guessing. All those awful, painful signs were there for me...heartfelt to the core. :( But, we move on and life gets a bit easier. It is good to be aware of all those things you spoke of Nell. Some women might see them but choose to look away, not wanting to face the situation. Fear, low self-esteem, etc. Some even have this thought...as long as he comes home eventually to me, all is okay. Phhh! Sad, but so true. Thanks for sharing this hub for those who may be in the middle of this type of situation. For me it may have brought it all back, but made me aware I survived it and it is just this... behind me now. Wiser and happier for getting beyond it.

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 19, 2013:

Hi Kdd, just check out what I have said here, you will soon find out, good luck!

Kdd on May 19, 2013:

I think I know. Just no way to prove it. I need to find the proof for my peace of mind.

Nell Rose (author) from England on April 27, 2013:

Hi Rusti, that sounds awesome! how lovely that you renewed your love, and its great to see that there are marriages that can last with love, faith and trust, thanks for reading, nell

Ruth McCollum from Lake Oswego, Oregon on April 25, 2013:

What a great Hub , I'm a lifer (been married 30 years plus) It hit home about how I know my husband and I wouldn't think of these things BECAUSE we have been together so long. Not getting paranoid by all accounts I'm married to a very faithful honest man that just renewed vows with me on a cruise ship last Dec. after 30 years and he had tears in his eyes stating our vows again.....

Huntgoddess from Midwest U.S.A. on February 16, 2013:

:-) Np, Nell.

Nell Rose (author) from England on February 15, 2013:

Thanks Huntgoddess!

Huntgoddess from Midwest U.S.A. on February 14, 2013:

LOL, not terrible. None of my business. I used to be up late, also. I kind of liked the quiet and privacy.

Now I try to get that in the morning, instead. Almost my bedtime now, also LOL. Yes, have a good night, Nell. Sweet dreams. Thanks again.

Nell Rose (author) from England on February 14, 2013:

lol! just going of to bed now, I know its terrible, I always stay up late! night! and thanks again, nell

Huntgoddess from Midwest U.S.A. on February 14, 2013:

Yes, I saw your comment. So nice of you. Thanks for the share.

You have a great day, as well. It's like 2 am in England, when it's 8 pm here, or something like that? What are you doing up so late? LOL

Nell Rose (author) from England on February 14, 2013:

And you too Huntgoddess, just read your hub and shared it! lol! have a great evening, nell

Huntgoddess from Midwest U.S.A. on February 14, 2013:

Well, not quite okay yet, but --- better. So glad I have my health! I always give thanks for that.

Thanks so much, Nell. Take very good care of yourself, dear.

Nell Rose (author) from England on February 14, 2013:

lol! not sure! but its so true! hope everything is okay with you now?

Huntgoddess from Midwest U.S.A. on February 14, 2013:

Thanks, dear Nell. So glad to hear from you also.

"Life is what happens while you're making other plans."

I don't know who said that?

Nell Rose (author) from England on February 14, 2013:

Hi Huntgoddess, thats okay, life just gets in the way sometimes! lol! great to hear from you, and take care, nell

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