Monica Prakash is an entrepreneur and a motivational writer. She has been writing online for three years on varied topics.
Researches show that introverts are more likely to seek the social media to express the underlying feelings that they aren't able to show in person.
Social media has become the window to everyone's life and we tend to keep those windows open most of the time.
Some people just can't get out of their social media obsession and stop flaunting about all the best things in their life. From posting a video of how they tip toed in the middle of the night across the hallway and had a triple choco fudge on the story, the party they had, the football game, to how much they love their partners or about the coffee they had together or her lipstick stains; people just want their social media to describe every single detail of their life.
I know a few people who just keeping updating every second of their relationship on their social media wall, whether they laugh or fight or kiss or watch a movie together. But I wonder sometimes are they really as happy as they are in the picture or they are just posing?
Researchers have found that those who are high in RCSE or relationship-contingent self-esteem, feel the need to show others, their partners and perhaps themselves that their relationship is 'OK' and thus they are 'OK'.
The popular opinion is that social media is for extroverts who have bigger circle and fans of lots of attention. But ironically, its the introverts who seek the help of social media to show their underlying affection for their partners which they are unable to show in person, thus reassuring themselves that he/she is a good boyfriend or girlfriend with the 200+ likes they scored.
“Introverted individuals [can] feel more comfortable expressing hidden aspects of the self online, so maybe they would be more comfortable expressing affection online or using [Facebook] as a way to seek out information about their partner by monitoring their activity.”
— Gwendolyn Seidman, Associate Professor of Psychology and Department Chair, Albright University
But does an electronic application necessarily increase your boyfriend or girlfriend score? The answer is no. It just puts you in a more confused state of where you both stand because of the absence of transparent direct conversations.
Happy couples know it exists and don't need others to validate their love:
They know that having an amazing weekend at the beach or a romantic dinner by the riverside or holding hands and watching the city lights or stargazing with their favourite song playing behind and above all being there for eachother shows the love but not telling people they are together.
They know that arguments are well steered offline:
Few conversations must not allow the intervention of an electronic device, especially the arguments we have with people because the tone is wrongly conveyed 80% of the time and we end up in a wrong situation which isn't how its supposed to be in the first place. Happy couple dodge this by having transparent face to face conversation about the things that are disturbing the peace of their relationship.
They live in the moment
When you are so in the moment with someone you don't get the thought to click a perfect picture or try a hundred poses and filters on it to score the social media. You just feel the moment and all you can think of is how lucky you are to be in a relationship with them.
They know every relationship needs some privacy:
Nobody has to know that you and your boyfriend had a frappuccino today or you both kissed or he said that he loves you or that you both are fighting over him missing your call once. Successful couple know that others don't have to know their everyday life. They know that every relationship needs some privacy to be perfect.
If you ask me, "then are all the couples who post pictures about their relationship always faking it?"; no, they aren't. There are few couples who are genuinely happy and want to show it to everyone. But I think saying 'I love you' and kissing him/her is always better than an Ig story that says 'I love you' with a kissing emoji.
© 2020 Monica Prakash
Arnaba Saha from New Delhi on June 23, 2020:
I deeply agree with you. Moreover, social media has become a showcase that's used to display how happy people are. They are so busy showing that they sometimes forget to live their life and cherish their relationship.
the compulsion to post every day to impose their happiness to others without ever feeling it themselves.
Marissa from Nigeria on June 21, 2020:
I feel like, they might be private people and might not feel completely comfortable by posting almost everything about them on social media.
Farrah Young from Lagos, Nigeria on June 19, 2020:
This is so true. Only insecure or unhappy people feel the need to update social media with their life's happenings.
It's like they are trying to convince the world they are happy.