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Guidelines for Deciding If It's Time to Let Go -Divorce Complications

Am a graduate of English studies with a Bachelor's degree from one of the prestigious universities in my country Nigeria in Africa

Before considering divorce, both parties should exhaust all available options to ensure that the relationship is no longer salvageable, and only then should divorce be considered.
Even said, divorce is something that can not be done quickly because there are several prerequisites that must be completed before such a procedure can be launched.

Some of the criteria that would have to be evaluated and recognized as the reason for divorce are as follows:
Most legal recourses require the couple to demonstrate that they have exhausted all other ways of attempting to work things out with the goal of keeping the relationship intact before starting divorce proceedings. These might include therapy sessions, legal and personal sources intervening to help put the marriage back on track, and any other assistance to try and keep the marriage from ending in divorce.

If divorce is inventible, however, additional issues like marital property and debts must be dealt out and agreed upon in order to avoid any potential snags during the divorce proceedings. These proceedings might be either straightforward or very complex to facilitate, depending on the circumstances of the individual spouse.
If there are children involved, their well-being as well as other connective tissues such as relocation, and physical and mental changes to adapt to, would all need to be taken into account, and the necessary adjustments would have to be thoroughly considered.

Divorce Trauma

Divorce Trauma

Table of Contents

  1. Guidelines for deciding if its time to let it go-Divorce complications
  2. Abuse must never be tolerated
  3. Have you tried counselling?
  4. Are you only staying for the kids?
  5. What role does your behavior play in the issues?
  6. Are there any emotional wounds that refuse to heal?
  7. Final thought

Abuse must never be tolerated.

In some circumstances, divorce becomes the only option, and one of the key contributing factors that would lead to such harsh measures being taken would be the presence of abuse within the marriage. When there is proof of abuse that must be endured and is supported by relevant and incontrovertible facts, a divorce action should and might be considered without difficulty.

No Way
However, it should be stressed that the burden lies would almost always be on the individual concerned to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that some amount of abuse is currently being sustained within the context of current marriage circumstances.
Abuse does not have to be physical; mental abuse is frequently believed to be just as devastating, with tough effects to overcome or adjust to.

Physical violence is easy to detect and support with really clear and proper proof; however, mental abuse can be considerably more difficult to detect, much alone establish the relevant evidence required to engage in the cycle of legal processes.

It is debatable where or how this abuse aspect may be classified or described until the abuse takes on and manifests extremely apparent observable negative consequences. However, if there is no obvious visible evidence of the alleged abuse, proving the existence of abuse inside the relationship, particularly when both parties seem unable to agree on what constitutes abuse, can be a difficult task.
This leads to further questions, and about how long and how far the presence of the abuse has harmed the marriage's foundation.

Abuses mate

Abuses mate

Have you tried counseling?
Psychotherapy is another prerequisite that should be investigated and exhausted before proceeding with any court processes related to filing for divorce. In most situations, a number of options must be exhausted before a court will accept a lawsuit for the start of a divorce action.

Marriage counselors can be used to facilitate more tranquil and speedy divorce proceedings while seeking to limit the impact of toxicity on both parties and every other connecting element that would require considerable changes as a result of the divorce.
Strange as it may sound, this counseling session can occasionally assist a couple that is serious about divorce in working out issues in a peaceful and less aggressive manner, allowing for a higher level of serenity and civility during the divorce process.

However, professional counseling is still the most effective approach to save a marriage and restore some of the relationship's initial "chemistry."
The counselor can be a professional who is specifically trained in this area, people who are experienced volunteers who organize support groups, religious help, or any other legalized help that would help save the marriage and bring it back to a more acceptable state of living.

These sessions are normally intended to allow both individuals to express their feelings and experiences in a safe and comfortable environment, with the counselor's skills present to guide them through the process. In these perplexing and challenging circumstances, having an outsider with no hidden purpose and who is educated to remain neutral is beneficial.

Couples in counselling session

Couples in counselling session

Are you only staying for the kids?
Many people choose to stay in an unhappy marriage just for sake of their children. This does have its own set of benefits and drawbacks, but if not properly handled, the detrimental influence of discordant feelings inside the marriage framework can bring more harm in the long run to all parties involved.

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Remaining in a terrible marriage for the sake of children can be much worse than divorce. The first approach keeps everybody together but in a stressful coexisting setting, whereas the second type considers the potential of a clean and full break between the couple while attempting to minimize the bad influence on the children.
Staying in a dysfunctional marriage can have a number of negative effects that are difficult to live with, since these will eventually add to the marriage's already dire physical and mental status, and in most circumstances will be unhealthy for the children and adults concerned.

This is even worse when both sides believe that there is no way to save the marriage and that both spouses are willing to admit that the marriage is officially finished.
This is a tragic situation, which is exacerbated if the spouse decides to cohabitate for the sake of the children.
Because neither party will have the flexibility to move on with their lives, this could lead to even more trouble and danger for the marriage in dispute, as well as having a bad effect on the children.

Nevertheless, there have already been cases where couples have also been able to work out their lives in just such a way that they may live together with some sane and comfort until the divorce becomes the only option.



What role does your behavior play in the issues?
Divorce is definitely a difficult scenario to comprehend even without the addition of one party attempting to make it as painful as possible. When this happens, the divorce process can be lengthy and traumatic, and the psychological and physical ramifications are almost always difficult to overcome.

As a result, each individual should be conscious of their own acts that may be aggravating some already difficult circumstances.
If clear proof of such behavior patterns exists, the person in question should be urged to seek another outlet for his or her frustration and anger, such as consulting or therapy.
Both individuals should be urged to work together to terminate the marriage on a more pleasant note; nevertheless, this is nearly always easier than it sounds.

Once emotions are wounded and treachery is clear, the party who feels wronged will usually seek out ways to cause even more trouble with the possibility of extending the same hostility to the original party who got the marriage to such a bad and sad state in the first place.
If the couple involved in such a circumstance is fortunate enough to be redirected by concerned spectators, a lot of future grief and hostility can be prevented.

Quality counselors can assist the couple in identifying difficulties and developing remedies that do not add to the existing friction in the relationship.
Malice, exacting retribution, causing mayhem, and any other chance to make issues for either party should be discouraged, and the person who has been injured should be offered other options for venting their feelings that are more constructive and less disruptive in character.

Are there any emotional wounds that refuse to heal?
Any rational individual would not consider divorce, particularly if there is a chance to save the marriage. However, for other people, the concept of divorce is unimaginable, necessitating mental and physical preparation for the nearly inevitably terrible and distressing years ahead.

For all who endure severe agony throughout this time, it may be difficult to overcome this pain for a long time, leaving the "damaged" party feeling lost and alone.
A small minority of people never fully recover from the trauma of divorce, which can lead to resentment and hostility. With all of the different support groups and therapy services accessible today, individuals going through that kind of painful experience can now get the help they need to make this transition phase more bearable and tolerable.

The adultery issue surrounding the premise of the dissolution being filed will most likely produce a significant proportion of pain that would not heal or would take a longer period to heal in the best of conditions.
This feeling of betrayal often is difficult to accept and absorb, resulting in deep scars that have long-term consequences. Another factor that could prevent the emotional wound from healing is the presence of abuse inside the marriage.

The abusive spouse can inflict protracted trauma that not only traumatizes the recipient partner but also irreversibly scars the parent's mind and body.
This type of trauma is notoriously difficult to forget or tolerate.
Divorce caused by a change in one partner's sexual orientation is likewise a horrible time that makes the victim distraught and unable to understand the shift.

Final Thoughts
Trying to come to terms with the devastation of a divorce is frequently one of the most difficult things to consider for most people.
If necessary, however, the individual should learn to grieve correctly and deeply so that the recovery process can proceed and the individual can go on.

Here are some ideas for how to handle the mourning process in a way that will assist the person get through this tough period:
Having a decent strong support network is one of the most effective ways to begin the mourning process with the help you need. This support structure will provide the individual with the required platforms to rely on if the situation becomes too hard for them to bear on their own.

Expert aid is another alternative for the injured person to consider, as this form of support is typically provided with the best available guidance based on the counselor's knowledge and experience.
This type of assistance will frequently give the client the best opportunity to adjust in order to reclaim some sense of normalcy in his or her life.
Another option to consider is to rely on the individual's religious beliefs to assist them to get through this difficult moment. This is only recommended if the individual is deeply rooted in his or her religious views and believes that making this decision will help them get through this hard and lonely period.

Grieving in a controlled setting where the individual is allowed to cry and express themselves is also advised.
This can be quite helpful in getting the person to express all of their feelings about the divorce before discovering how to move on.

© 2022 Ebipakabena Felix

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