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Getting Over a Brake Up

Sakhile has spent over ten years writing about love and relationships. He is an expert in interpersonal relationships.


Whatever category you fit into, you've probably experienced at least 1 breakup and may experience more in the future.

There are strategies to strengthen your resilience and shorten the time it takes for you to heal from a breakup, even though nothing can truly prepare you for such pain of one.

Put it in Context

Yes, breakups are painful, especially when you're the one who's getting dumped.

Accept your Emotions

Nobody expects you to always be happy and optimistic after a split. People are aware of your need for time to digest your feelings, and you must be aware of this as well.

We just set ourselves up for more difficulties in the future if we attempt to behave as though breakups don't hurt by disregarding our emotions.

Admit guilt-free

Guilt is similar to time payments; you can endure the pain indefinitely. Instead, take the time to grieve as necessary, consider how you contributed to the issues (or continued to be present during them), and make the decision to alter what wasn't working in the past. "Grieve all you really need, but don't blow it out of proportion,"

Consider it a Learning Opportunity


Once the initial upsetting situation has been resolved, assess the fundamentals of a relationship and reflect on what actually happened, what you would have done differently, and what you learnt. No need to be hard on yourself about it; just think it through so you don't make the same mistakes twice.

Waiting for Closure is Unnecessary

Ah, the illusive closure. Everyone's interpretation of it varies, but chances are you didn't understand it right away after your breakup. Try to go on without your ex, though, rather than waiting for them to say sorry or even for the 2 of you to schedule a post-breakup date.

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In order to comprehend why [things ended], closure necessitates receiving genuine responses to your inquiries about what transpired. "And although you both know it, you'll probably not be sharing the truth after a split because you're both wounded, angry, and guilty. It's not something either of you wants to hear now. The desire to speak with your ex "just once more" is a recipe for sorrow.

Put away Anything that Makes you Think of your Ex

Putting away or getting rid of your ex's belongings or anything that make you think of them may be harder than it sounds if you once shared a home. You don't need to discard anything just yet, but acquire a plastic container and fill it with all of the gifts that your ex bought you and your family photos.

Never Play the "Blame Game"


Even while it's simple to hold your ex responsible for everything, doing so will lead you to eventually place the blame on yourself. Consider saying something more unbiased such as "we saw things differently" or "we had some great years, then things changed" rather than placing blame. In addition, don't hold the person who your partner left you for responsible if they did so.

Aim to Rebuild your Life

We have a limited amount of time and energy, therefore focus on rebuilding your life rather than waste it on your ex. Drama is an unreal, depressing fantasy. Think and act practically by keeping your attention there.

Getting your emotional, personal, and financial lives in order as soon as you can is a part of that. Call it an opportunity, make a list of everything you have time for, then start completing some of them. Try things you've always wanted to try or things you have never done before. Use your grief and anger as fuel to do things that are personal to you.

Remember to Take Care of Yourself.


Start giving yourself the time, space, and attention you require because breaking up is a type of grieving. That includes surrounding yourself with encouraging individuals. Discuss your thoughts, uncertainties, and concerns with dependable friends and relatives. As soon as it stops seeming useful to discuss details over and over, use other people as a mirror and a source of assurance that you can move on.

Resilience requires time and practice, just like everything else. Take better care of yourself in the interim, give yourself time to mourn and process your feelings, and see this as a chance for a new beginning.

This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

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