The trend in marriage in the United States is to delay wedded bliss until a person is in his or her late 20s to 30s. This is because the prevailing theory is that people in this age range will have their careers in full swing and reach a maturity that makes them better marriage partners.
But marrying at a younger age actually provides more advantages. Getting married at 20 is ideal because it provides a lot of economic and psychological benefits that people otherwise go without until they marry, if at all, later in life. Here's why it is good to marry young.
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Getting married in your late 20s to 30s gives you the experience to make you a better partner to your spouse.
If you have been single your whole adult life, you aren't used to compromise. Everything has been about you: spending your money the way you want, going out any time you want, and getting your way in just about every aspect of your life.
You are going to have to learn to bend and change to allow for your spouse's happiness when you are married. In a successful marriage you WILL NOT be getting your way all the time.
You will more readily accept this reality as a younger spouse because not too long before you came from your parent's house when you had to bend to your parents' wishes to be a functional member of the family.
Since the decision-making abilities in human brains are not fully developed until age 25, any young married couple will go through mistakes, and also grow and mature together. But at least when you're married you have a structure which will help you conform and remind you of your priorities. You know you will not have room to make stupid or dangerous mistakes, a lot of which people who are single and only live for themselves might do.
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Waiting until your career is in full-swing makes you better spouse material because you will be of a higher socio-economic status.
Starting out, making money is harder on anyone when they are 20 -- but that is whether they are single or married. But there are things you can do from the get-go. For example, you can start with your wedding by politely asking for money as a wedding gift.
But many men and women get married while they are still in university or very soon after they graduate. It's good to marry young because the psychological support of a spouse helps propel your studies and career forward. Sharing expenses is also cheaper than going it alone. Even if the wife stays home, it saves money because she can cook all the meals and watch any children -- preventing having to pay for expensive meals out and daycare.
Since you will have more than yourself to worry about, you are also more likely to work harder toward your educational and work goals when you're married. In addition, you wind up buying a house sooner and building wealth as a couple that will help you be secure in your old age.
Marrying later in life allows you to become a better sexual partner because you will have built experience through previous relationships.
Getting married at 20 is ideal because you will have a monogamous sexual relationship that is both safe from STDs and fulfills both emotional and physical needs. You will not be sleeping around, getting mired in physical affairs that are a means to an end and no real benefit to you.
When you have a spouse, you will learn each other's preferences anyway. No matter how much you experience you have as an older spouse, you will need to conform to his or her needs anyway. Getting married at a young age prevents all of these issues.
Rare Advice ...
No one really warns young people about the dangers of getting married at an older age and getting a lot of "experience" first. The societal idea that long-term dating or sex outside of marriage is okay has brought a lot of harm, especially to women. While a woman might be looking for love, there are a lot of predators out there who pretend to be interested in her just for sexual reasons.
Since the concept of sex without marriage came about, a lot of men have taken free will to just being a "player," or having sex with as many women as they can for as long as they can.
The problem with marrying later in adulthood is that you might have to suffer on the battlefield of love in the mean-time. Getting emotional and even physical scars from partners who in the end care nothing about you is an experience many women go through, but which is better prevented. How many times have you heard of stories where men string women along for years and don't marry them?
No one is guaranteed a spouse, and a lot of it is out of your hands. While you have a good person genuinely interested in marrying you -- and you in them -- go for it. Many years down the line you might not get the chance or might not meet that right person again.
Being 20 years old can be an amazing time period of time. Youth is really a time of life to cherish. And it is also best used as a platform on what the rest of your life is built upon. Don't waste time. While you are still bright-eyed and idealistic, go make something of your life with a spouse that loves you.
And to all these "friends" that think you should be partying in college when you're 20 instead of being with the love of your life, do they really have your best interests at heart? Do those friends realize that partying just means drinking and doing drugs and hooking up? Do they realize that none of these behaviors will actually lead to anything productive for you or anything you can be proud of?
You can always let loose when you're married -- have some wine with your spouse and head to the bedroom for a night of steamy sex. Let loose in a safe way where both people know they won't just be making foolish mistakes that lead them to have nothing to show for.
To get all these benefits of marriage at 20, you must first choose a reliable and trustworthy partner. Having a life partner with good traits puts you on the right track to a successful marriage and a joyous life!
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Carrie Lee Night from Northeast United States on April 26, 2020:
Interesting hub :) I feel that it depends on the person/couple. I also feel that people need to be in forgiveness and let go of all baggage if they want their marriage to have a fighting chance :)