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Gay Guys Are A Girl's Best Friend

Marilyn Monroe in publicity photo for "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend".

Marilyn Monroe in publicity photo for "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend".

I once worked at a cube farm across from two openly gay hunks named James and Will. The more outgoing and gregarious James was always surrounded by female co-workers at breaks and lunch, causing irritation and befuddlement among straight male employees who never "got" why women would reject them for a "prissy little faggot".

Well, besides being a delicious bit of eye candy, James was a treasure trove of make-up and fashion advice. The Fat Dress Question didn't faze him at all. If you asked "Does this outfit make me look fat?" and he thought it did, he'd come right and say "Honey, hang a wide load flag on the back of that thing!". If you were having a bad day, he was a friendly shoulder to cry on, and on your great days, deliverer of an enthusiastic "Good job!". Talents sorely lacking in straight guys.

When he showed up in drag on Halloween, we nearly laughed ourselves silly watching the straights fall all over themselves trying to get a date with the buxom blonde in a silver ankle-length sheath and 4-inch stilettos. Nobody had the heart to tell them the "hot thing" that had their testosterone in overdrive was a guy. But it was rather humbling the way he glided around the call center in those "Take me now" heels better than any of us women could have.

Once, while we were off the phones for system maintanence, I came across James leafing through a body-builder magazine. All early-naked men of course. He asked what I thought of this one and then that one, and for 20 minutes or so, we admired (or dissed) page after page of nearly-naked men.

James and Will had once been lovers, but now only shared a house and the ownership of a bar frequented by gay men and straight women. Married women...single women...women in committed relationships with straight men...they all loved the place.

And what's not to love? Plenty of good-looking men to flirt with. No shortage of dancing partners. A girl of any age could have a fun-filled evening surrounded by men, but go home to Hubby or Significant Other with a clear conscience. Because a Night Out With The Girls here truly was a night out with the girls. Women could relax and not worry about getting hit on, or worse, be tempted to fall for a really cute guy's line of BS. Nor would they be tempted to hit on a really cute guy. Every male in the place was gay, so why bother?

Still feeling the glow of a really good time and a few drinks, many of these women went home and gave their spouses or boyfriends an unexpected "treat". Stay-at-home moms sang while wiping little noses and bottoms the next day. A win-win for all.

Sure, few women would pass up diamonds, but gay men are really a girl's best friend!


I've been informed the link to Marilyn Monroe singing "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend" no longer works.  Sorry.


Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon from United Kingdom on October 26, 2014:

So, so true. I used to have gay men friends when I lived in NYC and we used to have such great times.

I live in a small village in England now and if there are any gay men here, they are very well hidden. (sigh) I need to hit the big cities more.

I agree, gay guys are a girl's best friend.

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on June 21, 2013:

Thank you, drluv777. Due to the monster tornadoes in central Oklahoma, I've been away from HP for the last 6 weeks or so and haven't checked out YOUR writing. But I'm headed that way now. ;D

Deno P Ellis from Nassau, Bahamas on May 18, 2013:

Very powerful. Keep up the work my friend, we need more writers like you. I'll continue to follow your writings as you do the same for me. Thanks

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on February 08, 2012:

Thanks, alexandra-t! I'll have to check out what you wrote about YOUR gay friend! ;D

Scroll to Continue

alexandra-t on February 08, 2012:

i totally get what you are writing about =) i wrote about having a really close gay friend too! voted up and awesome =D

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on January 23, 2012:

Muzammil196, you are correct that homosexuality IS considered a sin in all organized religions, but this hub is NOT, and was never intended to be, a forum on religion's opinion of homosexuality.

Muzammil196 from Multan on January 23, 2012:

JamaGenee, homosexuality is banned in all religions. You must see that gays are meant that they are going to have an un-natural sex.

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on January 23, 2012:

huntgoddess, it's very sad that homosexuality by either gender is still punishable by banishment or death in some parts of the world. You are correct that not all gay men are the same. Also, that women can be pedophiles, too, as evidenced by the rash of female teachers being prosecuted for preying on underage male students for sex.

Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on January 23, 2012:

Carrie, when I wrote this hub, it was meant only as a "fluff piece" on my experience with a gay male co-worker, not to enlighten about LGBT issues in general. Since then, I've become much more aware of all factions of these much-misunderstood members of society, but don't feel I have the personal experience or credentials to write a serious hub on this topic.

You, on the other hand - and I mean this in the nicest way - make some very good points in your comment. If you aren't already a member, I suggest you join Hubpages and write an entire hub (or hubs) on the subject.

As for why straight girls feel awkward around lesbians, I suspect it's the same reason straight guys are uncomfortable around gay men: not wanting to acknowledge an attraction, no matter how minor, for members of their own gender.

Carrie on January 22, 2012:

fair enough but those thoughts are still true and opinions held by a large number of gay women like me and even many gay men.

Sorry for getting mad but its something to think about. This article is an interesting example of a conversation that comes up a lot in LGBT groups particularly with the girls. the whole straight women adoring and fawning over gay men. you must admit if you can imagine our perspective a bunch of straight girls following around gay guys.

1)that fake overdramatised queen fabulous thing is extremely fake and irritating. a lot of us find it irritating including man other gay men. it is not real at all. no one is born acting that way and if they are its not a symptom of gayness.

2)because of straight girls gay guys think we want our looks and fashion critiqised. we really don't care if our look isn't the in thing and if someone told me I looked fat i would say he was rude and insult him back. which i have don't suffice to say we are still friends but no the bitchy fake stuff is not done around me =p

3)You basically see gay men as a novelty and treat them like a fashion accessory e.g. a gay men is every straight girls best friend because you know they all have the same personality and aren't people.

4) you love gay men and not gay women. and the straight girls come to gay bars and get creeped out when you hit on them ...well you are in a gay bar dear.

I would love to meet a nice straight girl who enjoyed the company of lesbians as much as they seem to enjoy stereotyped gay boys. all my mates are gay women or bisexuals male and female because all the straight girls want gay male friends for their 'gayness' but are just awquard around us. don't get me wrong plenty of straight girls have gay female friends im sure but its not about their 'gayness' thank god i suppose.

anyway sorry for swearing it wasn't directed at you as a person more the concept of the article.

Huntgoddess from Midwest U.S.A. on January 22, 2012:

Gay guys are not all alike, you know.

And, please do remember --- while these comments may apply to some white, middle-class gay men here in North America --- there are still parts of the world where women and men can be ostracized and even executed for the crime of being or showing who they are.

I feel that anybody from any group can be a friend, regardless. There are good people in every group.

Just two more comments, and I'll shut up:

To the guy who refers to his wife's "yapping" --- um, that's not nice or respectful.

To the person who described pedophiles as men --- women can also be pedophiles.

PS: What's a "cube farm"?

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on January 22, 2012:

To "Carrie" (whoever you are), I deleted your comment not because of the opinions you expressed but because of the excessively foul language.

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on January 10, 2012:

Good for you! Every woman should have a gay guy friend. It never occurred to me that they might also be good at picking mates for their straight female friends. But, now that I think about it, of course they would! Thanks for that bit of enlightenment!

Pamela N Red from Oklahoma on January 09, 2012:

Jama, this article somehow escaped my notice. My best friend in high school is a gay guy. He introduced me to my husband and we've been married for years. I still keep in touch with my friend even though he lives down in Dallas and I in Oklahoma.

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on July 03, 2011:

Thanks, Duchess! Had similar experiences with the "babes" I worked with too! ;D

DuchessDuCaffeine from United States of America on July 02, 2011:

Don't you know it Jama! I used to work with the coolest "girl" and when I say girl, I mean I didn't know he WASN'T a girl until WEEKS after I'd been working with him! He was the most honest, dreamiest, gorgeous-haired, stylish, sarcastic babe on the planet. When the floor was dead where we worked we would cut-up and laugh so hard, we'd be crying! And during break we'd sit on the couch in the breakroom and go through the Avon book one page at a time, clucking and tut-tutting about prices, colors, products and models. Your observations are spot-on and timeless :)

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on June 23, 2011:

danfresnourban, this hub IS "old", but search engines LOVE old hubs, the older the better. And I'm thrilled that you not only stopped by, but took the time to leave a comment! Your best friend is a lucky woman, even if you don't give her beauty or fashion tips! ;D

danfresnourban from Fresno, CA on June 23, 2011:

I know this page is old, but I just found it and I think it is great. I am one of those gay guy friends. My best friend is a married girl, we get along great and I would not know what to do without her.

I am not a fashion designer or hair dresser, so I can give her any tips like that, we just like many of the same things and work together.

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on May 01, 2011:

ruffryder, your world must be populated with a lot of physically violent women. Just as all gay men aren't the same, neither are all women ready to knock a straight man's teeth out OR itching for a cat fight with another female. Overall, gay men are much more in tune with, and therefore can better relate to, women than straight men.

ruffridyer from Dayton, ohio on May 01, 2011:

2 points I'd like to make, If a straight man told a lady, friend, wife or office worker, to put a wide load flag on it, she would knock his teeth out, if it was another girl prepare for a slap down. Also the idea that all Gay men act the same, have the same personalities and are fashion exsperts is blatantly FALSE. It is a form of biase equal to rasium and sexium.

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on February 07, 2011:

You are soooo right, PaulEdward! Thanks for sharing that! ;D

PaulEdward from England on February 05, 2011:

As a gay man who has a lot of female friends, I can relate to your hub quite well. As much as I love my straight guy friends, I feel more free when I'm with my girls. They make me feel like I am wanted and needed in their lives "with no strings attached" and that I have something of value to share with them. In essence, straight women and gay men need each other.

manujkhera from India on July 12, 2009:

Excellent hub......I really love this post......Thanks.

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on May 06, 2009:

Oh, I know *that* feeling, Mindfiled! When a gay gay guy enters my orbit, I just want to scoop 'em up and hang on for dear life! They're literally a breath of fresh air in an otherwise blahhhh day.

MindField from Portland, Oregon on May 06, 2009:

Jama - I adore this!

Quentin Crisp is my dearest gay friend - and I never met him except through his writing and movies. What a dear, wonderful, witty gentleman. Clifton Webb is another whom I've always adored. And all the "sissy boys" from the 1930s movies - brilliant, funny, delightfully refreshing.

In real life in this town the few gay men I run across seem morose - hell, I'm morose here myself so I can just imagine how this stultifying atmosphere affects them. One day a very gay (in both senses of the word) man came into a shop where I was waiting in line and I wanted to throw my arms around him and never let him go. He was like an unexpected jolt of electricity!

mayhmong from North Carolina on May 05, 2009:

Its tough to read everyones wonderful work of writing when one has less than 2 hours to enjoy catching up all the time?! Some times I have to sneak away to get it done.

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on May 05, 2009:

May, I don't know.  You usually don't miss *anything*! ;D

mayhmong from North Carolina on May 05, 2009:

How did I miss this? LOL I just happened to work on a gay client today. He was so sweet.

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on May 05, 2009:

Aya, gays don't compete for your guy and don't try to get you naked. What's not to like! ;D

Vladimir, pedophiles aren't gay or straight, just very sick men who prey on children for the power trip.  But I'm sorry you had such an unfortunate childhood. As for gays "politically attacking the family", I can't agree with that.  They simply don't want the same type of "family" the straight world considers "correct" or "normal".  Truth be known, most traditional marriages aren't "wedded bliss" either and the families formed from them are far from "perfect".

Vladimir Uhri from HubPages, FB on May 05, 2009:

jamagenee. Gays guys are your best friends! So what? I will be your friend and I am not one. I am not happy with gays from my childhood pedophile man. I cannot judge the people's behaviour. It is not my duty and I am not judge. Only what is bothering me is they politically attack the family. They are instrument of ideas of Illuminates.

Aya_Hajime on May 01, 2009:

lol - another great hub Jama. I think you really hit the nail on the head with the bar description. It is comfortable hanging out with gay guys because you know that they have no ulterior motives behind their friendship and niceness.

Unlike your girl-friends they are not competing for your guys, and unlike your guy-friends they are not trying to get you naked :)

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on April 28, 2009:

FF, glad you liked the hub and that you and your ex-bf became friends! Stll friends??

frosted flakes on April 28, 2009:

My first gay male friend was my ex boyfriend. He came out after we broke up but after that, we were best friends! We were closer than when we were dating. I really like this blog

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on April 16, 2009:

cfangerow, thanks for the kudos!  I'm enjoying your hubs too! I've never heard of Jeff Fessler's book but I'll definitely have to find it now!  Not surprised your bf wasn't impressed!

If you haven't read it already, another delightful book that's hard to put down is  "Milking the Moon", the biography of Eugene Walter.  He was a boy - 'boy' being the operative word here - from Mobile, Alabama whom author Katherine Clark claims was 'the most famous man nobody ever heard of'.  The book never comes right out and says he's gay, but who else gives *the best* parties and fashion advice?  ;} 

cfangerow from United Kingdom on April 16, 2009:

I think this might be my all time (so far at least) favourite Hub!!

When I was house sitting in France I found a copy of the book "Why Gay Guys are a Girls Best Friend" by Jeff Fessler tucked away in a bedroom drawer.Reading it in one sitting because I was enjoying it far too much to put it down, I laughed myself silly in between hearty Amens. My boyfriend, on the other hand, wasn't impressed at all!

JamaGenee, I really enjoy reading your hubs!

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on April 01, 2009:

Dink, how truly lucky you are to have one of God's greatest creations in your life! They DO tell it like it is, for sure! Part of the reason they're so fun to be around!

Dink96 from Phoenix, AZ on April 01, 2009:

One of my dearest friends is gay and I LOVE to spend time with he and his friends. You are spot on: they tell it like it IS, honey! They know how to have fun and vacation like there is no tomorrow. I can't keep up with his busy life. He's like a brother to me; we grew up on the same block and he is one of God's greatest creations.

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on March 28, 2009:

Thanks, writer83. Glad you liked it!

writer83 from Cyber Space on March 28, 2009:

great article ;) !

tring-sandra from UK on March 11, 2009:

That is great..........

Christoph Reilly from St. Louis on March 11, 2009:

Ummm...Jama....I'm gay. You want to get a cup of coffee or something? Maybe a pajama party?

Julianna from SomeWhere Out There on March 04, 2009:

Some of my closest friends are Gay and Lesbian and I could not love them more as they are always the life of the party and will tell you if your hair looks bad, or you need to correct the outfit you wear, I love them and I love this article.:)

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on March 04, 2009:

Thanks, Lgali. I tried to keep it a fun read.

Lgali on March 04, 2009:

very good article

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on February 27, 2009:

Why, thank you, Godrey. I think you're right that gays exist to mediate between the sexes. Never thought of it quite like that. Thanks for bringing that aspect to our attention!

godfrey from California on February 27, 2009:

A veritably provocative chronicle indeed. It is particularly fascinating to read the endearing responses to these "marginalized" members of society. This piece induces provocation from a psycho-social vantage point. It brings to fore the pitfalls of intransigent fixity to masculinity. I have always speculated that members of this group exist to mediate between the sexes; teaching a vital lesson to those among us who are self-professed as incontrovertibly square. Whether this article is real, imagined or invented for provocation, it's evocative.

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on February 18, 2009:

Shalini, it amazes me too how they know *all* the latest gossip! Thanks for the thumbs up!

Shalini Kagal from India on February 17, 2009:

Jama - I totally agree! Some of my best friends are gays, The great thing is, they'll give you all the latest gossip (how do they know just about everything that goes on?), most of them are great dancers, they'll open doors for you, their shoulder's always there for you to cry on - and they'll tell you when you're looking good - what's not to like? The best part - the men in your life aren't jealous!! Great hub!

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on February 17, 2009:

Scott - must have something to do with where we shop for hats! ;))))

somelikeitscott on February 17, 2009:

JamaGenee - the feeling is mutal. This is the start of a wonderful friendship...I can feel it! Some Like It Scott

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on February 17, 2009:

Thanks, Guru-C! I just checked out somelikeitscott's Valentine Day Tips For Straight Guys and am still ROTFL! He's hysterical! Thanks for the tip!

Cory Zacharia from Miami Beach, Florida on February 17, 2009:

Pure fun! Have you ever met Some Like it Scott here on Hubpages? You would love him.

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on January 30, 2009:

Thanks, Elena! It was fun to write! So glad you enjoyed it, and the MM video too!

Elena. from Madrid on January 30, 2009:

Hi Jama! Glad I found this jewel of a hub, it's a fun and sweet read, I chuckled at the reality of some gay men being able to carry high heels off better than any women, that's so true! :-) The MM video was a nice plus :-)

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on January 18, 2009:

solacemoon, thanks for reminding me of "Queer Eye"!. I used to watch it faithfully until I dropped cable. LOVED it! Miss those guys! But you're right, gay guys *do* understand women because they appreciate the same things and have much the same feelings. They're also some of the most loyal friends one can ever have.

solacemoon from Illinois on January 18, 2009:

I think gay guys are a girls best friend because they understand woman.Fun to be around and most are metro sexual love the things that woman like and are sensitive to woman especially emotions.

Take for instance Queer Eye For The Straight Guy Show I loved the show Carson,Jai ,Tom ,Kyan and Ted they had fashion sense and style plus personality and a sense oif humor.

To me I don't care if a person is gay or straight if you can find a good friend in another person it is a friendship to treasure and hold dear.

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on January 17, 2009:

Hi Cris A!  Wouldn't have thought of this as "cute", but guess it is - a cute fluff piece I wrote just to make you smile. ;)

Yes, Bill - times *have* changed! For the better, I think.  I remember when gays (or "queers" as they were called then) were outcasts.  Such a pity, because they really can't change who they are.  But back then, nobody *seriously* believed an African-American would ever occupy the Oval Office either.  So perhaps we've become more tolerant of those who are "different".  Hope so.

Sally's Trove, every girl should have at least one gay friend.  How lucky you are to have several!  As for your comment on diamonds, maybe that's why they're called "ice".  ;)

C.C., gays are just like anybody else in that there's always a wingnut in the bunch who's a real horse's patootie.  But as you said, you are what you are.  I've met straight interior designers I wouldn't hire to re-do an outhouse, so your wife's friend is a keeper if he's talented in that department!

C. C. Riter on January 17, 2009:

I get a hoot out of them. They are fun and fun to be around, most of them anyway. I have a grandson that's a flaming gay, a cousin I can't stand, and two very good friends(partners) and my wife has a good friend who is one. I, like toad, just tolerate him. He is a good interior designer though. Hey, you are what you are.

Thanx for the hub.

Sherri from Southeastern Pennsylvania on January 17, 2009:

I'd take my gay guy friends over diamonds any day. They talk to me, they listen, they give good counsel, and they affirm. I don't know a diamond that ever did that.

Thumbs up, Jama.

William F Torpey from South Valley Stream, N.Y. on January 17, 2009:

Interesting perspective, Times sure have changed. When I was growing up in Yonkers many moons ago gays were outcasts. Today, people are much more cosmopolitan. Marilyn really looks great. Good hub.

Cris A from Manila, Philippines on January 17, 2009:

Personal spaces are personal, no overlapping! Unless... LOL If there ever was a cute hub, this is one! :D

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on January 17, 2009:

Thanks, Pam! I'll bet you did have a lot of fun surrounded by gay stylists! Sitting across from Will and James night after night was an absolute riot!

And thanks to you too, Tom Rubenoff, for reading it!  Glad you liked it!

Joanna McKenna (author) from Central Oklahoma on January 17, 2009:

You are a wise man, goldentoad, to think of "it" as your wife's nutty *girlfriend*, because it sounds like he/she/it would be a pain-in-the-patootie busy-body no matter the gender.

Tom rubenoff from United States on January 17, 2009:

The mystery of inter-gender discourse is part of its charm. Safety and risk are both enticing.

Interesting article and point of view! Thanks for writing this hub.

Pam Roberson from Virginia on January 17, 2009:

Yes! I totally agree! Some of the most fun days of my life were spent in the company of gay guy friends. Many moons ago I worked as a hairdresser, and all the other stylists were gay men. What fun we had! :D Nice job Jama! :)

goldentoad from Free and running.... on January 17, 2009:

Living in Cali, every girl I went out with has a gay best friend, my wife has her best friend, he's an "it", as he constantly decides whether he wants to be a man or a woman, or a little boy, or a little girl, anyways, he looks like Michael Jackson and they are always gossiping about the guys. He's more annoying to me than anything else as he tries to give me relationship advice and constantly tells me I have to work on my sensitivity. In the end though, he does me a great favor as I don't have to listen to her yap about nothing.

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