Did you ever wonder why you always get fed up with something you would kill for earlier? Nothing escapes this plague: the most delicious food, a new car (or a new toy, more generally), a new house, a new partner, wealth, the position of the President of the Universe – you name it.
This is because everything in this Material World goes through these four stages:
- Satiety or Overflow, and
You can see them everywhere – from annual seasons to fulfilling your wildest dreams, with inevitable consequent disappointment.
Here are some examples
Think of your favorite food: if you get a free unlimited access to it, the first day or two you will gobble it up like crazy. This is the first – Hunger Stage.
Several days later, you will slow down, and eat your delicacy at a normal pace; this is the Saturation Stage.
Soon, you will be forcing yourself to put even one small piece into your mouth. Welcome to the Satiety Stage!
And finally, you won’t be able to even think about your ‘favorite’ dish. Those who offer you a tiny bit of it, will risk their lives. This is the last Stage – Aversion.
You see? All four stages are here: Hunger – Saturation – Satiation – Disgust.
Another example: life in general. At first, as a child, we are curious about everything. Later, around late-teen age, we slow down with exploring Life and the the World, settling with what we have learned by then. After several decades, anything new becomes tedious. A few more decades later, everything new becomes really painful and annoying.
This completes the cycle. The Cycle of Life; time to move to a cemetery.
Think of anything else: all and every pleasure (except for truly spiritual) will always go through these four stages – again, and again, and again...
And now – to Relationships.
Same here: first, there is a Honey Moon. It is not called a Corn Moon, a Potato Moon, or a Pumpkin Moon. It is named after one of the sweetest natural product out there. Because during this initial stage, you two are really enjoying each other, spending most of the time in bed while totally ignoring your new partner flaws and limitations. You adore each other and do not plan to put your pants on, ever again.
Then the level of serotonin – the drug injected into your bloodstream by your glands – starts to decrease, and you begin to slide from the Hunger Stage to Saturation.
Here, the sex frequency and intensity drops. You start to occasionally leave the bedroom – to eat, to watch TV, and – God forbid – talk to other people.
Several weeks or months later, the Saturation Phase turns into Satiety. Here, you start to avoid intimacy with your not-so-sweet-anymore-heart. All of a sudden, you notice your partner’s irritating laugh (a high-pitched one, or a low-pitched – whichever you hate the most), an annoying habit of leaving the stuff where it shouldn’t be (depending on your gender – his dirty socks on the kitchen table, or her fur underarms), and saying stupid stuff.
This is the hardest part, because you two don’t arrive at this stage simultaneously. One who is still ‘in love’ – suffers, and tries to ‘clear things up’. It looks like bickering, arguing, and fights.
This commemorates the Satiety, or Overflow Stage, and paves the path to the last one – Aversion, where you get completely disgusted with your partner.
If nothing holds you two together – you split. Or, if you have common possessions – mortgage, kids, other mutual chains – you are doomed to simmer in this Aversion Stage for years.
To my almost 30 years of experience in family consulting, the First Stage lasts from several days to a couple of months – depending on the couple’s age, hormonal pressure, and the external circumstances.
The second – Saturation Stage – may last from several months to a year or so. The older we get, the longer this Stage is (with age, we run out of opportunities, and don’t want to risk what we have).
The Satiety Stage may last for years, even decades. Youngsters are usually flee through it quickly, towards new fresh adrenaline adventures. The older folks are less mobile, in all senses; they may settle down for a decade or two. Doesn’t hurt too much – good enough!
In the last – Aversion Stage – you can stay for a few month, or forever. People with masochistic tendencies may hang up there, hating their ex and planning the most devious avenge. Or they may let it go and move on, in all senses – depending on their overall sanity.
The popular misconception: the opposite to Love is Hate. False: Hate is an equally strong emotion towards the person, but with the minus sign in front of it.
The opposite of Love is Indifference. Similar to a bottle that was left open. Several weeks or months later, its content evaporates; after couple of years, even the smell is gone. Then you won’t be able to find out anymore what it was in the bottle – an exquisite wine or acetone.
As long as the couple fights, there is something left – a spark that may go out, or ignite a new flame of true love. If you do it carefully. And if you know what you are doing, of course.
If you haven’t learned how to build your Relationships properly – you will keep going through these stages, with same or another partner, again. Then again. And again. Until you give up. Or die.
Guess what! There is a solution to it – not getting into this Vicious Circle at all. It takes some knowledge about our True Nature and about how relationships work.
Unlike most of my colleagues, I don’t invent the Rules of Life. I read the Original Manual, where it clearly says how you can be happy in one relationships, for lifetime.
Write to me!
I will help you.