I'm a freelance writer trying to defy the millennial stereotype through hard work. Joy is in the little things.
It is very easy to get used to being in a relationship, and to take many aspects of a relationship for granted. However, relationships need upkeep. Falling into the swing of things and taking what you have for granted can be asking for trouble. There are a variety of small things that you need to do to maintain your relationship. They aren’t difficult, and they aren’t big, but they could make a huge difference.
Know When Not to Talk
There are some times that you just need your space. Many times, whatever is bothering you won’t even have to do with your significant other. Whether you had an incredibly bad day at work, had car problems on the way home, or even are just inexplicably in a bad mood, if you know you’re grumpy and tending to be unreasonable, take a breather and don’t talk to your significant other just then. You are likely to blow little problems out of proportion, or make problems where there are none, and waiting an hour or two to talk would really be in everybody’s best interest.
But If There’s a Problem, Always Talk About It
However, if your significant other or something that they did is the problem, be sure to address that as soon as you feel able to do so. Still take time to ensure that you are calm, but don’t use this as an excuse to put off having a conversation that can prevent further issues from arising.
Show How You Feel
Displaying their feelings for one another is the aspect of a relationship that most couples forget about when they start to take their relationship for granted. Doing little things like getting flowers or small gifts for one another randomly, or holding the door for one another, often get pushed to the wayside when you start getting more serious and are together for longer. Don’t let them. Work for your relationship, and never let your significant other doubt your feelings for them. Whether it be one of the small gestures mentioned above, or making their favorite dish for dinner one night, or buying tickets to their favorite show, or even something as small as remembering to tell them verbally how much they mean to you once in a while, it is the little tokens of affection that are unsolicited that really keep a relationship moving.
Recognize What They Do
Whether your significant other is your spouse, and they stay home and take care of kids and/or run the household, or you don’t live together and they get up each day and go to work, or whatever the situation may be, recognize what they do. Something as small as “you must be tired, I know you’ve been working hard lately” can let them know you see that they put effort into what they do, and that you recognize that. This shows that you appreciate them, and what they are doing with their life, and overall just makes them feel happy.
Working for your relationship doesn’t involve putting large amounts of effort into the relationship, or doing anything large and expensive. It’s just the little things that people often forget about when they’ve been together a while. And these little things make a world of difference.
Relationship Advice Books
Many people are afraid to ask for help on their relationship. They see it as admitting weakness or failure. If you're uncomfortable reaching out to a friend or a family member, you can always try finding a helpful book. The book Relationships is one that helped me and my partner through several really tough times. I didn't tell him I had bought it, but it didn't matter. I found that when I was able to think about the issues from the perspectives that the book presents, my better attitude improved his as well. While this isn't the end all be all of relationship advice, it is one that I can tell you presents things in an especially helpful manner.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.